TTC at 38

[hazelm82]

Hi I am new to mumsnet, I am 38 and have a 13 year old Daughter. My Fiance is 40 in September and has 3 teenagers, 18 yrs, 16 yrs and 14 yrs. We have been together 2 1/2 years. We got pregnant 2 years ago, but miscarried. We have decided to TTC before time runs out for us. We know it's not impossible to conceive at our age, but it's much harder.
I have been using one step ovulation tests, I always get 2 lines, but never a line that is as dark as the control line. It makes me wonder if I even ovulate. Any advice?

Hi @hazelm82 !
I’m pretty new to mumsnet too.

I had my first at 38. Got pregnant after trying for 5 cycles...though only really did the deed more than once on the final successful one, as we were a little clueless. Really uncomplicated pregnancy, now a beautiful healthy 2.5 year old baby boy. Now trying for my 2nd at 41 and feeling positive.

I’ve only just started using ovulation tests myself. How often have you been testing? I know that ovulation can vary widely in date, so it might be worth testing across the month to see if you can find the window. Boots do a bumper pack for not very expensive.

It’s understandable to be concerned after a MC. And we all worry about these things, But in terms of age, I really wouldn’t let that put you off or make you think you are not fertile. 38 is really not that old, though I think there is a lot of pressure out there that makes us think it is. Stay positive and bonk a lot, and you have every chance!

It’s beautiful that you and your partner want to try and have a baby together.

Thank you for your positive reply. I have been tracking my periods for over a year now. I use an app that is very accurate, I have used the same app to calculate my ovulation. I am yet to see how accurate it is.

With the ovulation tests I have been using them for the last 2 weeks, I only ever get a negative result. I am thinking about not bothering with them. I am pretty sure I have just ovulated (I get cramps on my left side) then aching boobs start a few days later until af is done. Yet I have still had a negative response. Unless I have missed the surge and not realised.

We decided this time last year that we were going to try again. But I think for phycological reasons we just didnt try at all after saying it.

My other half sister is due next month, I think that has made him realise exactly what he wants. He gets upset if he thinks about what we could have had.

Good luck to you too 😊

@Bouncytree message above is in response to your message. Only just getting a hang of this lol

I was 37 when we started trying for a baby ( I had 3 older children my partner had none ) my periods were only half a day I was so convinced that my womb lining wouldn't be thick enough with such a scant period but drs confirmed it was fine. I did have a few miscarriages thou but we got there in the end , ( he is now 6😀) don't give up and good luck !

@hazelm82

It’s really tough to try again after a loss. Complex feelings. Maybe a chat with your GP about your history and plans to try would help? They can give you an informed opinion, and reassure you in relation to what happened. Even just talking about it maybe a good first step, and a way to feel supported.

It sounds like you have good signs to tell by for ovulation. If you become really worried you can get an ultrasound to have an egg count etc. But I think if everything else seems in working order, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to not go for it and feel positive. No need to ‘medicalise’ it. It’s about you and your partner.

Best of luck on your journey x

@pumpkinpie01 great to hear your positive story 😊

Hi, I'm 37 and this cycle I'm going to start trying for #2. When trying for my first, who is 18 months old now, I used OPK tests and also a BBT thermometer to see if I actually ovulated. Might be worth looking into that if you haven't already as the temperature change happens after ovulation so helps to see if you actually do ovulate.

@pumpkinpie01 and @bouncytree
I was shocked when I concieved 2 years ago, I hadnt contemplated having any more babies and didnt occur to me I would still be fertile, my daughter was 11 years old at that point.

It is a worry that mmc could happen again. I had an mmc in 2005 a year before I concieved my daughter, I was completely paranoid with her that I would lose her.

Perhaps a trip to my GP wouldn't be a bad idea, although it is nice to know my body still functions in that way. This is our first cycle so wont let it bother us if AF does arrive in a few weeks. I think you get to a certain age where you just know how your body works.

Thank you both for such positive stories

Hi I'm 37 and TTC a fourth baby. I had a miscarriage in May at 10 weeks. I've had 3 miscarriages altogether. I used the Premom OPK strips and loaded the pictures into their app. I also use the Clue app which is pretty good imo. My period is due Saturday but I'm hoping I have good news instead.

Hi. I’m also 38 and ttc #1 With my oh who is 32. I came off the pill in January and this is my 3rd cycle, 1st where I’ve been tracking ovulation. Cd10 and nothing so far on opk sticks.
Age definitely played a part in our decision to start trying now. Reading online makes it seem like at 38, chances of getting pregnant are low but coming on here I have seen lots of stories from people late 30s and older managing eventually so I have lots of hope!

Hi everyone,

There is a really good article from
The British Pregancy Advisory service that I found really helpful. Obviously being younger is helpful to get pregnant, but there are a lot of cultural attitudes about older women at play in a lot if what is written and quoted about pregnancy after 35...see quote below and link. I think it’s unfair and counterproductive how much pressure women are made to feel about TTC after 35. Hope it helps bring some positivity 😊

“The widely citied statistic that only 66% of women aged 35 to 39 will be pregnant after a year of trying if based on a 2004 article in the journal Human Reproduction, which in turn is based on an analysis of French birth records from 1670 to 1830. The attraction of using data from a pre-modern population is the fact that the data is not distorted by the use of birth control. But as the psychologist Jean Twenge points out in her review of the literature, this was "a time before electricity, antibiotics, or fertility treatment".

For modern women, the reality is far better expressed in a 2004 study by David Dunson and colleagues, published in Obstetrics and Gynecology. This found that, if they were having sex twice a week, 82% of women aged between 35 and 39 fell pregnant within a year.“

www.bpas.org/get-involved/campaigns/briefings/older-mothers/

@Bouncytree that was a really interesting read. Thanks for sharing it

@Bouncytree Thank you, that was some interesting information. I think it's mostly in my head and being labelled an "older" mum if I were to conceive

Interesting article!

I'm feeling meh today like my period is coming. It's due Saturday but I was hoping not! Did a test because I like to torture myself 😂💀

@calimommy That is exactly why I have given up with the ovulation tests, I felt like I was just torturing myself 😂

How is everyone doing today?

Lol @calimommy I am the same. The waiting is hard!

I’ve had mild cramps on and off since last night, unusual for me, normally cramps followed quickly by AF and no sign yet, and would seem very early.

Tempted to test tomorrow! But almost don’t want to risk a wishy washy line or nothing. I nearly rather AF to deliver the bad news herself 🤣

@Bouncytree I hate waiting, then Af doesnt show up, you test and AF literally happens within 12 hours later. Although with my daughter I had this overwhelming urge to need to do a test, was the same for my other pregnancies that I mmc with. Fingers crossed we all get a BFP soon

I'm only 10 DPO so still a bit to go although I generally test positive early. Didn't have any implantation spotting (which would have been a good sign for me) although I didn't have it the last two pregnancies either. Ugh waiting is tedious.

@calimommy I am day 23 of my cycle, I am due AF on day 32, it feels like a long wait

@hazelm82 same ish! On day 24 here.

Cd13 and got peak opk this morning so assume ovulate tomorrow then it’s the dreaded 2ww!!!! 😬🤞

How is everyone doing today?

AF arrived and I'm a bit in my boots about it tbh. Not sure I want to keep trying. How are you?

Just thought I would jump in with my 2pence worth. I'm 39 now, my son is 10 months old and my daughter is 12 years old. Still with the same OH but I was getting really broody. We are both financially stable now and so we decided why not?

It was a rough ride. It took 18 cycles to fall pregnant with little man but in those 18 months I also had 2 MC's, 1 at 10 weeks and 1 at 6 weeks so very early. I came off the pill in August 2017.

What I'm saying is be positive. We haven't decided yet if little man will be our last so might be joining you on this crazy journey soon.

@calimommy, argh! It’s always such a blow. Each month is another chance and we get our hopes up for this one. It can be hard to think about it again. Hoping your doing ok and sending kind thoughts.

@Funkyemzie lovely to hear your story. Yes come join us on the rollercoaster! 🤣😆

I’m doing ok, still waiting it out here! I’m really trying not to convince myself I’m PG this month, but I am so full of aches and pains and twinges. Yesterday I had very strong nausea come yesterday. I felt so awful was huffing and puffing in the supermarket aisle yesterday, I must have looked like a crazy person. Which I will be if I find out I’m not PG 🤪

@Bouncytree I had decided back when my third was born that I wanted a 3yr gap this time as mine are two yrs apart which is exhausting 😂 also we live abroad so don't have any support. But now I'm wondering if I've made a mistake going so long. I'm really tired of ttc tbh. We've been at it this time for 9 months with the 10 week miscarriage included in that. I know lots of people try for longer than that but I havent had to do that in the past. Anyho I've just ordered a box of OPKs from amazon so I guess I'm in it for another month at least! Can't stop touching the electric fence!