TTC after MC - June 2020 (Part 2)

[VP91x]

Hey lovelies ❤️

Just doing the new thread as the other is full will tag you all here - anyone else who wpuld like to join please do!

Little bit of background -
Cycle #3 TTC after MC in December
This month doing SMEP, tracking BBT and OV (CB advanced and Femometer strips), also drowning myself in grapefruit juice 😂 and will take Calc Fluor in TWW.

Sending everyone lots of luck 🤞

@SmileyT
@Rainbowhope11
@Hayleylou89
@Dipsy77
@HopeForRainbowbaby
@elliew818
@MissyBate
@MichT4
@NightDreaming
@NadJade
@Renna
@Re6ecc4

@Hayleylou89, thanks for your tips. I just find it so hard not drinking anything! I'm going to try hard to stick with it though so I hopefully catch a peak. They are definitely getting darker, but not peak so I don't know if the darker means anything.

I have never really felt ovulation before. I thought I had little cramps a couple of days ago but think they were too high in my stomach for ovulation. I don't really know what I'm looking out for. What did yours feel like? xx

@Hayleylou89 could you tag me in the other group please lovely? I’m 8+1 today xxx

@Mich2020 it would be really low on the inside of ur hip like little stabby shooting pains thats what it feels like.

Yeah the not drinking thing is hard i would do fmu then have a cuppa then nothing till dinner time and pee again then drink then nothing till tea time x

Hi all, I've been quiet for a few days as I've really struggled emotionally but I think I'm back on track now. I mc at the end of Feb and everything was such a whirlwind with lockdown approaching, preparing to work from home, not to mention the prospect of homeschooling, I don't think I had chance to grieve. I was so desperate to be pregnant again that we cracked on straight away and I naively thought it would happen in the first month, and thought that would just fix the sadness I felt. I think reality hit me this weekend with my negative tests and af arriving and my head fell off. I have cried uncontrollably on and off for days.
I've had a good talk with my husband, which has helped. I realise I have kept everything to myself. Grief, feelings of fear, opk's, pregnancy tests and the feeling of despair over the negative ones.
I did it so as not to put pressure on him, but it's been a lot to carry on my own.
I wish I could just relax, and not live day by day like I am doing at the moment - 2 weeks waiting for ov and 2 weeks waiting to test. The time goes so slowly. When I conceived before I only took a test because I realised I was 2 days late for af, and it was all so easy?!
I'm not even sure why I'm rambling. I think it just helps to get it out, and if anyone reading this can relate, it may help them, or me even.

Have kept up with the thread, even at a distance.
Good luck with the EWCM @VP91x, won't be long before you get your pos opk!
@MichT4 really made me laugh when you said we wouldn't be hearing from her in a while 😂
@Diorissimo1985, I'm sorry to see you back in the group but was really pleased to see that you felt ready to come back in. I hope you can find comfort from the support of the group.
@SmileyT really sorry to see you had a negative. Perhaps your July/August conception premonition will be right! Gut instinct has a lot to account for. It's funny, because I read that you felt you wouldn't get pregnant for another couple of cycles and I feel the same. I think August will be my month 🙌🏼
@HE88, sorry to hear you had a tough day. I hope you are feeling better. I feel I need to be pregnant by October too as that was my due month. So I totally get the pressure you feel.

And if you got this far, thanks for reading 😂
CD 4 today, af is starting to subside.
Onwards and upwards xx

Thanks @Hayleylou89. Absolutely kicking myself for not using FMU this morning!

Bring on the next POAS xx

@Hayleylou89 Hey babe! how are you xxxx I do often think most days ooh I wonder how she is getting on hah :) don't panic about the different symptoms as you know all pregnancies different and I am so certain youll have a healthy one ! you so deserve it XX
Yeah AF due next week... now that I have the AVA app , the CB app and the fememoter app they are all saying different days for AF due whereas before I mainly just went by what femeometer said and it was usually pretty accurate.
If im honest Im not finding the AVA all that … considering how much it costs. I think the femometer app actually gives you more guidance and info. Only thing is last 2 weeks my sleep pattern been all over the place with puppy but shes finally started to settle at night but I still usually wake up like once in the night so I guess the temping isn't very accurate and its deffo at all different times at the mo. and AVA only has like a week or so of my data to go by, it may be better if it had couple months to go by but it was predicting ovulation way off .

how are you finding the AVA during pregnancy ?
I haven't been (trying not to) symptom spot and just ignore it..Im only 6dpo so may be too early to be looking into things too much any way. Cant remember did you have any symptoms that early ? XX
so glad hospital able to give you lots of reassurance scans xx hopefully I can join you on the thread and the journey soon :):) XX

congrats @Tink20058 :):)

@Mich2020 dnt worry because chances are it will have been faint as the afternoon ones are the important ones really and when the surge shows usually xx

Hey @Jazper, I’m glad you’ve found your way back here, and that you took the time you needed.

I totally understand how you feel, and reading your post resonated a lot. I MC just before lockdown and have the same feeling of not having grieved - it almost felt like we couldn’t because of everything else going on, plus I didn’t want to burden OH with it and there was no one else really. I think when my sister told me about her pregnancy, it actually helped both of us let out some of the grief we were holding in. I cried a lot, for days! But I came out of it feeling a little better and a little more hopeful. I feel like before that I was panicking to get pregnant so it was like the MC never happened. But it did, and now I feel like I’ve processed it a little more. And now I’m ready for a new pregnancy.

I’m the same with time being slow too, I just want to get back the innocence of not waiting for anything. But it also helps me to have more understanding of what’s happening so I think I will stick with OPKs etc so I feel more on top of it all.

The biggest pressure I feel now is that they say you are more fertile in the first 6 months after one. I assumed it would be quick. So I’m panicking if I get past that then is there less chance 😢

Anyway, now I’ve rambled. But you’re not alone so never feel like your feelings aren’t shared. This is a great place to vent xx

@Hayleylou89 Thank you xxx

@Renna Hey im good apart from the nausea but i know thats not a bad thing but hoping it only last a couple of weeks as its still not very nice to deal with 🤦🏽‍♀️ got lower backache today like period type backache which is new today really xx so just taking it easy and sitting on my laptop working away xx

I wouldnt say i had any symtoms at 6 dpo and tbf i think the only major symtom i had was around 8/9 dpo waking up starving hungry and i got that vvvvvvf postive then, and remember my spongy walls 🤣 they were a bit of a give away as they stayed spongy in the tww from about 3/4 dpo onwards but never heard of anyone having that as a symtom but it def was for me x

About the ava ... yeah not fussed on it either iv stopped wearing it the past few nights and im going to resell tbh its rubbish for pregnancy anyway and its just something else to wrry about ... iv been bbt temping still though and using my nc app and might stop using that soon aswell cos it doesnt do much either but its spot on for me it had my gestation spot on when i went for my scan aswell it said i was 5.6 weeks and the consultant said i was 5.6 weeks i was like, Wow well done NC, that goes off when u ovulated rather than date of past period which is more accurate for predicting the due date x

So excited for u to test i dnt know how u wait the full two weeks though i just want to know either way as soon as i can so i can kinda deal with it either way 😂 but ur so patient x I honestly hope to u and a few other on the WA group soon x 🙏💙🌈💖

Hi everybody. Happy Thursday.

Good news - I’ve managed to get rid of my cystitis by drinking 2 litres of cranberry juice and had a good night’s sleep last night.

Bad news - I wasted one of my FRERs yesterday by testing too early. Only 7/8 DPO. It was a BFN, which I guess doesn’t rule me out but it was still disappointing to see. Perhaps there should have been a hint of a line if I was? Anyone else tested BFN this early and gone on to get a BFP?

Still feel like I’ve got symptoms - some could be the end of the cystitis - peeing more regular, niggling low down cramps, tiredness - but, unless I’m imagining it (very possible), I’ve also got a strange taste in my mouth, am sneezing a lot and feel slightly queasy. My boobs feel normal though.

I’m definitely not testing today. Going to do FMU tomorrow morning. That’s CD24 for me, which is when I got a clear line last time.

How is everyone else? Anyone else testing soon?

@Jazper it is so important to give yourself that space to grieve and just feel sad because otherwise as you said you carry it inside and it is so much to deal with. I'm sorry you have felt so upset, but hopefully it gives you some hope that you will feel better and soon you will be concentrating on a new pregnancy. It is alot to think about when TTC and all of the testing especially when previously you didn't do any of it to fall PG. Always here to support on the down days xx

@Hayleylou89 always makes me laugh when you say about your spongey walls 😂😂 its a shame the AVA doesnt offer much because it is expensive!! But good that it tracked your gestation well, definitely re sell it xx

@Chickoletta fab that your cystitis is going that is so painful and annoying to have!

Definitely not out if you got a BFN at 7/8 DPO and I wouldn't have said to expect even a faint line its super early!! Even at 10dpo I'd say still too early but I know people do get lines. I'm also an early tester even though I always say I won't 🙄😂

Tomorrow you'll be 10dpo?xx

@VP91 ... Honestly it was like the sides were closing in but like a bouncy castle and a spongy feeling, so weird, but it did happen most cycles but only for a day or two but it stayed that way all the way through my tww before my bfp so it was odd and def a sign for me 😂 x

@Hayleylou89 haha I love it, best symptom 😂 xx

@MichT4, thank you for the reply. It wasn't a ramble to me. I really appreciate it. While it is sad that other people have suffered like I have, it is also really comforting to know that I am not suffering alone. I do feel more hopeful today. I am
aware that this positivity may only last until my next af, but i do think I have come to terms with the fact that this may not happen as quick as I had hoped.
I'm not sure how true the 'increased fertility post mc' thing is you know. I have googled it and while it is commonly branded about, I don't think there has been any research done to prove it.

@VP91x thank you. I appreciate the support of the group. Some groups I find are a little 'clicky' and it feels you're only accepted if you are a regular poster.

@Chickoletta, I know of some women who have tested that early and got accurate results but I know of many many more who haven't. And it always makes me wonder if ov wasn't correctly calculated to get a pos that early too.
Negatives are awful to see but you definitely aren't out yet.
Glad your cystitis has subsided. I had it recurring from 16 years old for years. It was awful.

@Chickoletta yes I did test with my last pregnancy ( MC in end of May) at 7, 8, and 9 dpo. It was light positive on 9 dpo, earlier than that was negative. So there is time 💪

@Jazper @MichT4
I can completely relate to All feelings you are going though. Give yourself time. I have miscarried just before corona and now in May. I was utterly shocked and broken. I have put myself up faster with second MC than with first miscarriage. But sadness comes and goes. Ladies here are best support group I could imagine and if you feel like sharing, that's exactly why we have got this platform for😘 I also would like to look in further future but I can't, I'm 1DPO and counting days till I can test... let's make some BFP flying in this group ❤️

Thanks ladies. FX for tomorrow.

@Jazper - I’ve just read your post from earlier and know exactly what you mean. I MCed in April and everything had to carry on around me as the kids were here doing their school work. Under ordinary circumstances I would have had to have time off work, by myself but I actually chaired a remote meeting whilst sitting on a towel as I was passing enormous clots. I told myself it was good to be busy but I think it took a lot longer to process everything actually. Glad you’ve had a good chat with DH now - mine has been a rock throughout this along with a couple of good friends.

Sorry, just realised that it was @MichT4 who was writing about MC in lockdown and not being able to take time to grieve.

@chickoletta thanks lovely. It was @Jazper too, so you did have it right ☺️

That’s really sad about doing your meeting on the towel, poor you!

It’s so lovely to be able to talk to you girls. And I’m so looking forward to lots of BFPs. Let’s hope we wipe this thread clean very soon xxx

We’ve all for everything crossed for you @Hayleylou89 - close monitoring is reassuring so I’m glad you’re getting the extra scans.
Yes I’m still bleeding at the moment so can’t really work out when I will ovulate - last time it was bang on 14 days after the start of the miscarriage. But that didn’t work out obviously so who know what will happen this time.
Going to order some more supplements so I feel more proactive... currently taking seven seas preconception, prescribed iron tablets, and adding a lot of flaxseed powder to my porridge anything else I could try? I think my issue is egg quality but no idea really xx

@Chickoletta that is awful :( with my first I didn’t take any time off either as I didn’t know if I was being stupid or not cause I was early and I didn’t grieve. But this time I made sure I took the time off . Don’t think us ladies get enough credit of how strong we are and what we have went through emotionally and physically.

Feeling a bit positive today. Rang and finally got speaking to a doctor today. (My usual doctor was off). Explained the blood clotting disorder in my family and APS being the top cause of recurrent miscarriage and she was going to fob me off saying that it is important to but I would need to wait to see the RMC. I then queried why she couldn’t request the test for it today as it is just a blood test and I’m due to go back to repeated bloods tomorrow and that I’m in my TWW and would like to give this opportunity of pregnancy a good chance. So she went and checked with their treatment room nurse to find out they do indeed do the blood test and I’m now booked to have it done tomorrow. She advised I she can’t stop me taking aspirin as treatment on my own accord but again it would need to be the RMC to say officially but she is aware it is known to help. Makes me feel sort of sad that if I didn’t do my own research and ask for this test it was being over looked and I’ve read so many other women have had it over looked by their GPs when in fact it was their issue and a simple aspirin would have helped them.

But feeling positive I’m getting somewhere and can have my win sticky bean soon

@2020wish
Good for you for staying strong with the docs. Don’t feel bad about not researching sooner, it’s difficult to use your own research with GPs as they always fob you off anyway. The good thing is you are now hopefully going to get some answers and you know you’re ok with the aspirin too.

It’s hard with taking time off. I went to the office the day I had the MC confirmed because it felt like a distraction. But then I felt I had shot myself in the foot because asking for time off after I’d been in seemed like it wasn’t valid. But it is hard, and the emotions come in waves

@2020wish - That sounds positive. Well done for persisting.

@Jazper I know what you mean, I'm glad we have this lovely group to be a part of for sure ❤️

@HopeForRainbowbaby I hope these days go quickly for you. What day are you planning to test?

Oh @Chickoletta that's such an awful experience to literally be miscarrying whilst working. I took the morning off work to have a second scan after my bleed the week before they actually ended up confirming the miscarriage and I went back to work for the afternoon. My manager actually asked if I could stay until 11pm that night and got annoyed with me when I said I couldn't as I wanted to be at home. He said I should have told him earlier if I wasn't going to be available for a later finish 🤔 I was so upset with him. It got worse from there with them, which is why I decided to leave!

@2020wish I'm glad you stuck to your guns and are getting your bloods done for those tests. Hope it is okay for you tomorrow when they do it. Are you going to take the aspirin? Xx