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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Trying for a baby in the middle of a pandemic

29 replies

Letmegetthisrightasawoman · 06/05/2020 21:47

I couldn't find a thread on this, which surprised me.

Is anyone else really wanting to start trying for a baby now but feeling a bit awkward about it? It's like I'm worried HCPs will secretly judge me for putting a burden on the NHS, and that other people will think it's crazy to have become pregnant at this time. I'm almost thinking I should pretend it was unplanned if I do get pregnant, but it totally wouldn't be. Anyway, just wondering if anyone had similar concerns.

OP posts:
Bam123 · 06/05/2020 22:31

Hi, I'm 13 weeks pregnant and to be completely honest I wouldnt try for one during the pandemic. You will have to go to scans on your own you will have limited midwife appointments and I've very recently had a bleed and no one would see me at the hospital even though I thought ild lost the baby, they just expected me to wait until my next appointment to be checked at 20 weeks, luckily I managed arranged a private scan and the baby was okay though. For the best care for you and baby now is not a good time. Obviously it is always your decision no one can tell you yes or no that is completely up to you just being honest.

MimiArm · 06/05/2020 22:48

Hi - there are lots and lots of threads on this very topic with lots of comments on them with differing opinions. I had a quick look there and they are way down the page which is why you might not have seen them.

Not at all trying to be a smart arse btw - just in case you fancy scrolling down to read the many opinions :-)

Original poster
Letmegetthisrightasawoman · 06/05/2020 23:13

@Bam123 that sounds scary! I'm glad you're OK!
@MimiArm have you got links? I can't seem to find these threads.

OP posts:
MimiArm · 06/05/2020 23:33

Should I postpone ttc with coronavirus? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3858211-Should-I-postpone-ttc-with-coronavirus

MimiArm · 06/05/2020 23:34

Anyone putting off TTC coronavirus www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3851527-Anyone-putting-off-TTC-coronavirus

MimiArm · 06/05/2020 23:36

Trying for a baby and Coronavirus www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3855308-Trying-for-a-baby-and-Coronavirus

MimiArm · 06/05/2020 23:38

Is anyone trying to conceive despite coronavirus? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3876184-Is-anyone-trying-to-conceive-despite-coronavirus

Hopefully that's enough reading - sorry for multiple posts - don't know how to go in and out of a draft post without losing the links each time!

Hedgehog44 · 06/05/2020 23:42

Why on earth would you want to be pregnant right now? I don't get it!

MimiArm · 06/05/2020 23:48

... and there will be plenty of judgemental comments like that ^^ one in the other threads, but equally many supportive opinions.

@Hedgehog44 Maybe you have the luxury of time on your side, but there are plenty of us that don't and can't afford to lose the chance of ever experiencing motherhood.

It's called a personal choice and everyone's circumstances are different.

Everyone also has the right to an opinion, but if you've nothing helpful to say, then don't say anything.

OP - hope the links are helpful.

Infused · 07/05/2020 00:02

I've read that fertility clinics can apply to reopen as of next week.

Personally I do not have the luxury of time and can not afford to sit around and wait for the next 6-12 months so we are currently trying.

OP you have to do what's right for you. If you have years on your side then maybe wait a bit but if not then crack on.

EllieJai44 · 07/05/2020 08:29

Personally for me I have a 14 month old daughter and have been trying since about 6 weeks pp, since last August we have had two miscarriages and one missed miscarriage (in February), because of all that we are continuing, in our eyes we have lost a lot of time already so don't want to lose more, plus with should be due dates coming up I couldn't deal with going through this time with no hope!

Its definitely a personal decision! Things may be a bit different but it will all be worth it!

Yutes · 07/05/2020 08:30

Well, I’ve been trying since last January. I have PCOS and irregular periods. So I’m still trying.

JoandLily · 07/05/2020 08:37

I had a MMC in August last year and have been trying again since December. I am in my late 30s so time is not on my side. I wish I could wait a year but I cannot take that risk of taking a long time to conceive. I am still trying now even tho, everyone's situation is different.

Foreverbaffled · 07/05/2020 08:42

Everyone’s situation is different. Realistically I (and probably most women in our age group) won’t be eligible for a vaccine for a long time even after a successful one has been developed. It will quite rightly go out to the most vulnerable first. I don’t have 18-24months to wait (and that’s just a guess). At my age I either try now or seriously gamble with my fertility. I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant.

HCPs won’t judge you. Their business is babies. My midwife (at booking in) said that bringing new life (and “little rays of hope”) into the world was the most wonderful thing during these uncertain times.

Good luck whatever you decide.

MrsG010814 · 07/05/2020 08:54

If you can afford to wait then I would. There are some threads on here by women currently pregnant and the lack of care and worry is awful. Some giving birth alone, some partners only allowed in once they are in established labour and then have to leave straight away after the birth. Obviously for some time/health concerns mean they can't wait but if you can then I would.

peperethecat · 07/05/2020 09:02

I am suffering from recurrent miscarriage. I live in France, but I've seen four different doctors since lockdown began (three gynaecologists and one auto-immune specialist) and none of them have suggested that we should stop trying.

In fact, the auto-immune doctor I spoke to yesterday said that with recurrent miscarriage it's trial and error and I have to just keep getting pregnant until we find a medication protocol that seems to work.

So I definitely don't have the luxury of time to wait for this to be over.

If I were under 30 and had no known fertility issues I might hold off for six months or so. But only you can decide. Don't let anyone judge you.

Foxd0g · 07/05/2020 09:20

I'm five weeks off my due date so didn't have a clue about the pandemic when TTC.

It's really hard and stressful at the moment, limited birth options, appointments alone etc., some trusts not seeing women in person. Then there's the lack of a wider support network of family and friends. I haven't been able to

Foxd0g · 07/05/2020 09:22

Pressed send too early!!! Try again.

I'm five weeks off my due date so didn't have a clue about the pandemic when TTC.

It's really hard and stressful at the moment, limited birth options, appointments alone etc., some trusts not seeing women in person. Then there's the lack of a wider support network of family and friends.

It's totally a personal choice but it's really hard! Although for you OP you may find by the time you're in your third trimester things will be much more settled. It's just the earlier appointments and weeks that will be tough.

ivfgottostaypositive · 07/05/2020 09:26

Even if you fall pregnant today you won't have a scan for another 8 weeks so I wouldn't bother putting it off

1990shopefulftm · 07/05/2020 09:33

It's a personal choice. I'm 15 weeks so found out I was pregnant a month before the lockdown. My booking appointment got cancelled and they forgot to tell me but they sorted that over the phone. My 12 week scan was alone which was nerve wracking but they were wonderful,I'm not having a 16 weeks appointment. I'm prepared to be alone for my 20 week scan and expecting to be alone for appointments after that but mentally after the hurdle of the 12 week scan I think I can do it .
However, I'm low risk at the moment and am able to check my blood pressure at home. At no point has a health professional made me feel bad about being pregnant and although i wanted to tell my mum i was pregnant in person and couldn't since all my friends and family is so far away, the support in that sense hasn't been much different for me.

I think you have to consider, can you do a lot of the medical appointments alone, even if something goes wrong. But also if you pause trying do you have the time to start again and then for the wait for fertility treatments if you needed it and if you would regret waiting at least 6 months for this to calm down fully knowing that time could have meant getting help sooner.

I'm 25 which to many people is young but it means in my area to get to IVF at my age would be around a 2 year wait so i would have wanted to keep trying if I hadn't got pregnant when I did and I know with my families fertility and my dad dying in his mid 30's waiting wouldn't be the right choice for me.

RainbowFlowers · 07/05/2020 09:39

I'm due my second baby anytime now. Ttc is so unpredictable so I wouldn't let the current lockdown get in the way of that. By the time you are due to give birth I can't imagine us still being in lockdown.

Even if you get pregnant straight away your scans are at 13 and 20 weeks. I don't think its the end of the world to have them on your own especially the first one but I think its very unlikely that by then you'd have to have them on your own. I'd go for it.

Moominmiss · 07/05/2020 09:41

I’m late 30’s so time is not on my side. We’d been ttc since September 2019 sand suffered a mc at 8/9 weeks in January this year followed by a chemical pregnancy.

We have continued ttc. In my area all appointments are still going ahead as normal with the midwife (I have several family members and friends all in early stages and late stages of pregnancy). And the local hospital still allows partners to be present at the scan (wearing a mask and gloves).

Everyone I’ve spoken to (that I know personally and I’d pregnant) says they’re care has been second to none and those that have been pregnant before have said nothing has changed except for the fact hospitals are quieter with people walking around etc.

It’s a very personal choice, but I don’t feel bad for continuing ttc as I know for me personally, waiting around 6-12 months could be the difference between me being able to conceive, or not.

Plus the reality is, even if I was to fall pregnant this cycle, I wouldn’t have to see anyone for an appointment for another 5 weeks, and then a scan would be 8 weeks away etc. Things are changing all the time, but I’m not in a position to put this part of my life on hold.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do x

PurBal · 07/05/2020 09:41

DH and I were planning on TTC this year and had planned to get my coil removed this month. I can't get an appointment so will have to wait. Do what's right for you OP.

Bumble84 · 07/05/2020 10:19

I had been ttc for almost 2 years and had recently been referred for IVF. We were starting to think it wouldn’t happen and now sitting at 7 weeks pregnant. If I was 10 years younger I may have waited but I didn’t feel we had that luxury so it almost wasn’t a choice of stopping ttc or not it felt like a decision of having a baby or not and that was a no brainer. It is a personal decision and everyone is different. I’m sure some people might judge me but they also don’t know my circumstances, it will hurt a bit but it won’t overtake the joy I have at falling pregnant.

@Hedgehog44 that might help you see it from someone else’s point of view

Em4815 · 07/05/2020 10:29

I did hold off in March and April when it was looking to be starting to get a bit crazy. But as others have said I'm in my 30s so limited with how much time I can wait as it would be my first. This whole situation goes to show you never know what will happen so you may think in a year or two it's the safest time but by the time you have a baby something else happens! I'm back on it this month but without any OPKs or preseed - the more relaxed approach Smile

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