TTC Cycle 12 - SMEP

[LSL0708]

Hi
I’m totally new to this but hoping to speak with people in a similar situation. I had the implant removed beginning of June 2019 and have had regular 28/29 day cycles since. But, 11 cycles in and no BFP Just read up on SMEP (Sperm Meets Egg Plan) and thought I’d give it a go this month. Is anyone else trying/tried this?

The HyCosy went well thanks @LSL0708! Everything looked completely normal, they even showed me the clear tubes on the scan which was quite reassuring to see It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, got a bit worked up reading about bad experiences but it wasn't painful at all, just a slightly unusual feeling and was fine straight after. I ovulated the day after the scan according to my testing, and we did manage to get in one DTD so fingers crossed! Feel like at least I know what we're working with now, it's either going to happen naturally or it will be IVF if not.

All the best for the SA next week, will be good to have another result for comparison and to keep things moving forward. Hoping as ever that AF doesn't arrive for you, and enjoy the rest of the weekend! x

Hi @Jh2019 I'm pleased the HyCosy went well and everything looked normal. It's good to be getting all of these reassuring results. I'm pleased you didn't find it too bad. I'm not looking forward to it all, but the fact you've said that has made me feel a bit better.

I'm pleased you managed to squeeze in DTD too. Fingers crossed your system was flushed and that one time did the trick!

Thank you! As long as the result isn't any worse than the borderline result he's had previously I'll be happy.

Unfortunately AF has arrived, so this isn't the month for us. Trying to look on the bright side that at least I can enjoy some Christmas drinks now x

Hello everyone! 👋🏽

Can I join and kick off by asking a silly question?
I’ve not been doing SMEP as I’ve only just come across it but this was my first month using OPK’s.

I managed to DTD the day before I got my peak, on the day and then a day after as well as I thought the peak meant ovulation in the next 12-24 hours. However, I’ve now read that it means peak in the next 12-36 hours and SMEP means DTD for three days after the peak OH was complaining that he’s too tired for this 😂😂

Basically, do I still have a chance or unlikely? Thank you lovelies xx 💕

Thanks @LSL0708 - and glad to have been able to reassure you about the process, hope it goes just as well for you when you have it. So sorry AF arrived, but good on you for looking on the bright side re Christmas treats - that's what I'll try and do too if it arrives for me next week. Let me know how the SA goes.

Hi @WicketBasket, welcome! Not a silly question at all, OPKs/SMEP can take some getting used to. Yes SMEP involves DTD on the day of the peak, and also the 2 days after (then one day off, and one final try!). Agree it can be very tiring lol - we didn't manage to keep it going for long. How many months have you been trying? Is it TTC #1?

You're right that ovulation is usually 12-36 hours after you get your peak. However, doesn't mean that you're not in with a chance if you don't stick to SMEP rigidly - sperm can survive 5-7 days, so the three times you did will be very well timed The day of the peak and day after are the most important actually, and you got those! Best of luck, let us know how you get on xx

Thanks @Jh2019 I suppose looking on the bright side is all we can do can't we? I have my fingers crossed for you this cycle. Keep me updated x

Welcome @WicketBasket
Sending lots of luck. Keep us updated on your TTC journey x

Hi @LSL0708, just to let you know that unfortunately I'll be joining you in the Christmas drinking...seems the tube flushing didn't do the trick. Feel it's a harder blow to deal with now that Christmas is not what we planned either . Feels like there's just nothing to look forward to. But will try and enjoy it and not mope around too much!

Have you heard back re your SA results yet? Hope they were ok x

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that @Jh2019 I totally understand how you are feeling. I've been really struggling since Saturday's announcement. It's difficult to stay positive in times like this. I'm sending you hugs and hoping that you can enjoy the festive period a little bit You never know, the flushing still may do the trick and this cycle could be the one. Sending positive thoughts your way.

We haven't heard back about the SA but he was told that we would just get the results at our next consultation appointment, which is at the end of March. I'd like the result before then but part of me thinks it doesn't make much difference really...

Thanks @LSL0708, sorry to hear you've been struggling too it was a horrible shock wasn't it...sending you all best wishes for the week too and let's look forward to a much better Christmas next year

Ah ok, guess that makes sense with the SA - I suppose once you've had one and you know roughly what to expect there's not quite the same anticipation for the results, though still hard to have to wait. Hope it shows some improvement when you do hear back at your March appointment :)

Hey @Jh2019

How are you doing? I hope you had a lovely Christmas and managed to celebrate in whatever tier you are placed in.

We are in tier 3 so it's a very different Christmas for us this year. Just trying to make the most of the break from work and the last few days of indulgence in wine and gin. We've decided to go sober in Jan in the hopes it may help a little bit. Although I've tried before and it didn't do the trick.

Yeah, I would like to know the results of the SA but at the same time it doesn't help progress anything so trying to be patient.

I got my peak yesterday so in the midst of our DTD marathon. Where are you in your cycle now?x

Hi @LSL0708, we had a lovely Christmas thanks :) Just the one day with my parents, but was great to see them. Unfortunately then got moved to Tier 4 on Boxing Day, which has meant cancelling our New Year break we had planned, but still nice to not be at work so just trying to enjoy that.

Have also been enjoying a week of indulgence - have to do something to pass the time! - and planning to go sober(ish) for January like you. Agree it's good to feel like you're taking some positive action, even if there's no guarantee - have also tried without luck in the past, but it certainly can't hurt!

Good luck with your DTD marathon . I'm about a week behind, so just heading into that phase now. It's a bit nicer being off this week at least, feels a bit more 'natural' than when we're tired after work.

Here's hoping for good news for both of us in 2021!

Hi @Jh2019 that's disappointing having to cancel your new year break. We were also meant to be away between Christmas and New Year which got cancelled. We've joined you in tier 4 from today too! Not surprising mind.

Well exactly. It's got to make us a little bit healthier hasn't it? Which surely can't harm.

I hope your marathon goes ok. I agree with it feeling more natural. As always, keep me updated with how this cycle goes.

Wishing you all the best for 2021 and most importantly wishing you receive the good news you're waiting for xx

Hi @LSL0708, how are things going for you? Sorry haven't posted in a while. Lockdown January isn't much fun is it :( I've been pretty down, trying to keep positive with a new diet and supplements, and staying mostly sober - but it's hard not having any treats when there's so little else to get excited about! Going to break it a bit this weekend for OH's birthday.

AF due tomorrow for me, and pretty sure I can feel it on the way. Where are you in your cycle now? Fingers crossed for you as always x

Hey @Jh2019
No problem. I totally understand. I'm feeling exactly like you are. Its awful Sending hugs and well done on the new diet and supplements!
I've not been super healthy diet wise but have managed to stay sober since the 4th Jan. I found out I passed my final accountancy exam on Thursday so I'm torn between sticking to it or breaking it for a little celebration this weekend. As you say there's nothing else to get excited about!

AF has just finished for me. Arrived a few days earlier than expected so it hit me quite hard. But I managed to pick myself up and focus on moving forward with the tests. I have my HyCosy on Tuesday. I'm a bit nervous but pleased it's getting done.

Fingers crossed your AF doesn't arrive and your OH gets a nice little birthday surprise. Keep me updated. Enjoy the celebrations this weekend x

Thanks @LSL0708 :) Wow, congratulations on your accountancy exams - awesome news! Nice to have a reward for all your hard work, hope it perks up the miserable month a little. If you do break the sober stretch for a mini celebration, enjoy it and don't beat yourself up - one day off in the grand scheme of things won't do any harm. I'm already mid-way through my evening treat

Sorry to hear AF arrived, and must have been hard it coming unexpectedly early - well done on picking yourself up and hope this cycle is ok. All the best for your HyCosy, it will be good to have that 'piece of the puzzle' addressed - I was nervous too but found it absolutely fine, hope that you have a similarly smooth experience. Let me know how it goes.

AF still hasn't arrived, but I took a test this morning (as my temp hadn't dropped when I was expecting it to) and it was BFN. So looks like it's probably going to be a day late. Just ready to move ahead with the next cycle at this stage, I've managed to not get too upset today and trying to keep the positive attitude for this birthday weekend! x

Thank you @Jh2019 It feels great knowing they're all done after 3 years of hard work! I did break the sober stretch and am now feeling slightly worse for wear... Ooops! Trying not to beat myself up about it too much. I hope you enjoyed your night.

Thank you. You're right. It's good to have all pieces of the puzzle complete. Hopefully I don't find it too bad. I'm equally dreading the Covid test I have to have this morning!

I'm sorry you got a BFN but pleased you're not too upset. Hopefully you can remain positive and focus on this next cycle. I'll also cross my fingers AF doesn't arrive, as you just never know.

What are the next steps for you now in terms of your fertility testing? xx

Glad you enjoyed a little weekend celebration @LSL0708 - so did I thanks, worth the hangover I think

AF did arrive on Sunday, as expected, at least it didn't come as a shock. I've had some really disappointing news today though - our NHS appointment, which was due to be next Thursday, has been cancelled because of COVID and the next slot isn't until May . It's knocked me for six - I know things are bad with the pandemic, but I'm quite surprised they can't fit in a 45-minute phone appointment until then. It gives me very little hope for IVF options and timelines with the NHS if we do need to go down that route. I think I'm going to get back in touch with the private clinic that did my HyCosy and ask if they would be able to consider us for IVF straight away once we hit the 2-year mark - I'm resigned to saving up and having to pay now, even though it feels unfair.

How was your HyCosy yesterday? Really hope it went smoothly and that the results were all ok, let me know xx

It was worth it, you're right. We had such a lazy day on Sunday which was nice  Glad you enjoyed yours too @Jh2019

I'm sorry that AF arrived and that your appointment has been cancelled  That really isn't the news you want to hear. I can't believe they've cancelled a telephone appointment! That's seems crazy. I totally understand your frustration and the fact you're considering going down the private route. It's so hard to be patient anyway and knock backs like this make it even worse. It's definitely worth looking into with the private clinic and keeping your options open with both routes.

My HyCosy was fine in that my tubes are clear, so it's good to have another clear result. But it doesn't help with the frustration of why it hasn't happened yet. It was also really painful at one point, but luckily only for a couple of minutes. Now I'm just waiting for the next appointment with the consultant so focusing on that. We're booked in at the end of March so I'm crossing my fingers it still goes ahead.

Let me know how you get on and keep me updated throughout this cycle. I'm here if you ever want to vent some frustration or talk through the bad times  We're in this together xx

Thanks @LSL0708, yeah I don't get it really - I know there are knock-on effects but struggling to see how a telephone appointment can be so impacted! I've already emailed the private clinic just to enquire on what their process would be, I find it quite confusing understanding how it all works and interacts with the NHS pathway so hopefully will get some clarity from them.

That's great to hear your tubes are clear - sorry it was a bit painful, but glad not too bad on the whole and must be a relief to have it over. Agree re the frustration though, the 'unexplained' label is hard because there is no easy solution. Fingers crossed for your March appointment, I really hope that does go ahead - in theory the country should be in a slightly better state by then.

Thanks for your support, we are definitely in the same boat, particularly with our similar results so far! I so look forward to the day when we both get the good news we are waiting for, whenever that might be xx

Hey @Jh2019

How are you doing?

I struggle to see the impact on telephone appointments too. Unless the hospital is so busy with Covid that doctors are being drafted in from all departments.
How did you get on with the private clinic? Have you had a response?

Yeah, unexplained infertility is a killer. There's just nothing you can do. That's the frustrating part about the whole TTC journey. It's completely out of your hands.
Thank you! I'm hoping so both for my appointment and also to see a way out of all of this. It's so hard!

You're welcome. Thank you for yours too. It's lovely knowing I can chat to someone in the exact same position as I'm in. I can't wait for that day too!xx

Hey @LSL0708, I'm not too bad thanks - AF over now so just heading into DTD week. How about you?

I did hear back from the private clinic, spoke to them a couple of days ago and they basically said we could go for IVF with no waiting list whenever we want, which took me by surprise! I thought they would prefer us to see out the full 2 years, like the NHS (we're currently ~18 months). They also said that we could self-fund up to 2 cycles without losing our right to our 1 free NHS one, which is good to know. I'm still feeling it's slightly too early to go for it, but thinking if we find out in May that the NHS list is very long, we might go private in the summer and have the NHS as a back-up if the first cycle is unsuccessful. I've done a bit of reading and found it all a bit overwhelming though - the various different types of IVF, and a few clinics in our area with quite different prices, and I'm not sure why...

We've signed up for another consultation with the clinic that we've used so far, just to find out more about their process and get a feel for whether we would want to go ahead with them if it gets to that stage. That will be next Tuesday - I'm thinking now it's maybe a bit rash, given we're not planning to do anything just yet, but I know it will make me feel better just to talk through some next steps again. May is just too long to wait in these circumstances...no holidays or nice things to distract myself!

Best of luck for this cycle and keep me posted xx

Hey @Jh2019 x

Sorry it's taken a while to reply.
How have you been?

I've been doing ok. Don't feel like we managed to DTD as much this month, but I suppose it only takes the once! Just waiting on AF arriving now. It's due Tuesday so we shall see. So used to not building my hopes up now that I'm just expecting bad news, but also trying to tell myself to keep a bit of positivity.
Staying sober didn't last long either... I caved after my supposed "one-off" and I've had a few wines on weekends. We've agreed to do a sober February. Let's see how long that lasts

I'm pleased you spoke with the clinic. It's good you can go for it without waiting for the 2 year mark and also that you don't sacrifice your free NHS round.
Have you had a chance to do anymore research? It's something I've glanced at briefly and I've always felt as you did - Very overwhelmed!
How did the consultation go? I don't think it was rash. It gives you some clarity on how things would move forward if you chose to go down that route. Like you say, it's a difficult time at the moment without not much else to focus on.
I think having these appointments also gives you the feeling that things are progressing. Even though nothing immediately changes, I find that I feel better just knowing we're working towards something.

Hope you're ok xx

Hi @LSL0708, I'm ok thanks - but we've had a bit of a silly rollercoaster since my last message! After booking and paying for the private appointment, the NHS rang back and reinstated our appointment just a week later than it was originally going to be. It should have been today, but then got a call last night cancelling it again . Not so bad this time, only moved to next Wednesday, but finding it tricky to keep rearranging at work, as they can't even give us a time to expect the call - just a window between 9 and 4! Luckily managed to get a refund before we had the private one, and just hoping now that our NHS one goes ahead on Wednesday and we don't get messed around again.

I'm due AF in about a week, so not too long after you this time actually. You're right, it only takes the once in theory, so don't worry too much about how much DTD - the pressure to keep going to a schedule is tough month after month! And I really don't blame you for breaking the drink ban, a bit of wine won't hurt - I caved a little last night too after a difficult day at work and the clinic cancelling on us. Good luck with the dry February though

I did do a bit more research on IVF, and I actually even went to a webinar about 'abcivf' recently, which seems to focus on so-called 'mild' IVF for a lower price at various places across the country. They seem to have similar success rates to the 'traditional', and say there's no catch, but I don't really understand why other places would use a more severe protocol with more medications if it had no benefit. So yep, still a bit confused and overwhelmed by the whole thing!

Hope you're doing ok and fingers crossed for you that AF doesn't arrive next week. Agree it becomes easier just not to get hopes up after so many disappointments, but let's try our best to keep that glimmer of positivity xx

Hey @Jh2019
Sorry to hear you've had a rollercoaster of a time but I'm pleased to hear your NHS appointment was reinstated. That's great news! I hope there's no more messing around and it goes ahead on Wednesday. Let me know how it goes.

Well I've been treated to AF arriving early this morning My app said Tuesday, which I thought seemed a tad late, but going by my OPK peak I feel today is a tad early and my LP may not have been long enough. So I'm feeling a bit down and worried this morning.

I think the same. Surely a little wine can't do too much harm? I already feel like I want to break dry Feb after this morning's arrival.

I've not heard of abcivf but I agree, it doesn't seem to make much sense. I should probably do a bit more research before our next appointment, as I think that's when we'll be offered it. Hopefully we will find out more at our appointments and feel less confused.

Keep me updated on everything xx

Oh no, so sorry to hear that AF arrived early @LSL0708, that really sucks Hope you're doing ok, take it easy this weekend and look after yourself. That's a shame about the short luteal phase, how long do you think it was going by your OPK? Hopefully it's just one weird cycle and it will be longer again next month.

Remind me again when your next appointment is, was it March? Yes hopefully that will help us both make sense of all the IVF stuff, let's see what we find out and try and keep focused on that path forward xx

Thanks for the well wishes @Jh2019. I really struggled to pull myself together on Friday, but I've felt a little better over the weekend. Going by my OPK it would only be 9 days. It was 11 last cycle but its usually around 13. Hopefully it's a one off!

Yeah, our next appointment is the end of March. So still a little while to wait. But it's something to focus on.

Let me know how you get on with this cycle. I'm crossing my fingers it's your lucky one xx