TTC during the coronavirus outbreak thread

[helia]

Is anyone still TTC at the moment?

We were planning to start trying for our second next month or the month after but I'm not sure it's the right thing to do any more.

Is anyone in the same boat and thinking about pushing things back a few months (or more)? It would be nice to chat to others who are deciding what to do now too.

Having similar thoughts and conversations to many on here!

My DD is 17 months and we were planning to start ttc in June but now I'm just not sure. We were extremely lucky with DD and got pregnant the first month we tried so I'm hopeful it'll be the same again but you never know. I'd like them to be close in age but do worry about my DH not being able to attend scans etc and what if something went wrong and I was by myself or if things get worse what if he isn't allowed at the birth.

I really want a home birth this time too, so that's another complication.

I'm 32 and ideally want three babies so the clock is ticking along.

Thank you, I'm feeling a bit more Positive this morning. Just keep remembering that I want my partner to be able to come to scans etc so if it means we have to wait a little while then so be it. A good night's sleep always helps as well hope you're well today as well x

Hope everyone has had a good week. Just checking in to see how you all are.

Hi @helia, how are you?
I've heard two friends are pregnant this week which is lovely, but also panged a bit.
Otherwise doing ok!

@Quercus3 I'm sorry to hear that was difficult news for you to hear. I hope you're OK.

I heard a GP talking on the Jeremy Vine programme on Radio 2 yesterday. Dr Sarah Jarvis I think. She answered a listener's question about TTC. The listener said she had sadly recently suffered a miscarriage and was worried about trying again given the COVID19 situation. However she said she was 35 and didn't know if she had the time to wait until the crisis passed. The GP said she didn't think the coronavirus situation was a reason not to try now (given the listener's age I think). She said there wasn't evidence that COVID19 harms babies in the way Zika does.

And then of course we have on the other hand the possible premature birth of Boris Johnson's baby and the speculation it was linked to COVID19. And the reports about an uptick in Kawasaki Disease.

Still feeling confused. Waiting to re-evaluate after my July cycle. If things aren't any worse than they are now I can see us trying then...

How's everyone?

In the same boat here - we’ve been going back and forth on this for ages, but in the end pretty much skipped this month and will see how things develop. I felt pretty secure in a complete lockdown, but Sunday announcement got me worried again about catching it in pregnancy, particularly if there’s another wave, or when DS goes back to nursery, or we have to start taking public transport, or having play dates etc. Can’t imagine being in a complete lockdown for the whole time of being pregnant, don’t think it’s doable, and they say the virus will be around until there’s vaccine... So perhaps we’ll see again June!

Hoping I can join the thread. I keep going back and forth. I have health issues, endometriosis and I'm 35. No children yet. I have been afraid to start because of many things including my own chronic pain and fear of something being wrong with the baby, as I am older I worry a lot about age related defects. I am now even more worried, if I conceive any time soon it could be a nightmare with appointments, I might not get good care, or the elective section I will need. Endo makes me more prone to miscarriage and stillbirth so I'm concerned about that, especially if I need to be seen for things in the hospital. I might get covid or the baby might... thinking of the women who died after birth with covid. But if I wait longer that obviously puts me at even higher risk of defects or worse problems conceiving. I don't know what to do.

What we did to give us a bit of piece of mind is we went to the fertility clinic to do my hormones test and egg count and sperm test for DH. I’m 36 so can’t really wait that long, but the test reassured us that at least there are no obvious issues with fertility (but the picture isn’t amazing either compared with where we 2 years ago when we conceived our DS!). That convinced us even though we can probably wait for a couple of months to see how the lockdown relaxation pans out, we can’t really wait for a year either...

@helia that is interesting information, thank you. How are you feeling now after the ease in restrictions? We have been reassured a little about our job security and were considering trying soon, but the latest news is making me worry again. Mostly I'm concerned about hospital appointments in the middle of another peak. Especially in the winter.

@Dreamcatcher007 yes seeing how people's behaviour has already relaxed has worried me!

@eggly I'm so sorry you are in this situation. Could you talk to a doctor and ask for their opinion? Maybe they will be able to offer some advice.

Hello everyone - thought I'd check in, has anyone started TTC or made a decision?

Notwithstanding my DP's job situation (looking hopeful we'll have more stability soon), I'm feeling a bit gloomy again. It's probably all this talk of an impending second wave, but I'm starting to feel like Covid is never going away. And yet another close friend has announced she's expecting her second later this year - I'm just feeling a bit broody and a bit bleak!

Totally happy with not trying immediately, but it'd be nice to at least feel able to say "we'll start trying in August" or whatever.

Anyone else?

We are probably going to TTC next month. I'm conscious that we may not conceive immediately. I'm also completely fed up of WFH with no childcare so the thought of having a definitive end in sight (say in 9 or 10 months) makes me feel much happier. I'm not sure that's a solid reason to hop off the fence but I'm not sure how much longer I can stick with this juggling act.

It feels like life is going to be on hold forever but I do have concerns about putting pressure on the NHS and how I might react to the virus, particularly when pregnant, although everything points towards me being low risk. I'm pretty torn still but like you I've been bombarded with pregnancy announcements lately.

Aaha @helia I'm exactly the same on the work front - this feels relentless at the moment, I totally understand the appeal of having an end date! How has your work been? Mine have been so accommodating, but even that is a struggle - can't imagine trying to keep up full time hours or having a difficult employer.

I guess everything is such an unknown at the moment, I should probably just accept all the uncertainty. Assuming no unforeseen drama, I'm really hoping we'll go for it in August, so hopefully not much further behind you!

My work has also been very accommodating but because of the type of work I do there's been an upswing in things to do. It is tricky as people depend on me to get the work done but my DC is three, unsettled and needs parental involvement at all times. I really need an end point to this. When will you know more about your DP's job situation?

@helia - We’ll start trying as well from next month, as we do expect it to take a while to get pregnant. But I’m worried about childcare in the meantime, ie I’m terrified to get Covid while conceiving or even in the first weeks of pregnancy, so worried about putting our son at nursery. Is your son returning to school or nursery when they open?

He will be, as I don't think I need to be particularly concerned about the virus until I'm in my third trimester. He's also mostly cared for my a childminder and I'm quite happy about him returning to her small session. He's also in school nursery and that's a bit more of a worry but our school hasn't said when it will be open for his age group yet so I'm not worrying about it. What's made you decide to go for it next month? How old is your child?

Has anyone just conceived during lockdown? What did your GP or midwife say when you told them? Did they seem worried or frustrated?

I am also thinking about TTC but am concerned about extra pressure on the NHS and what my GP may think of me/my decision.

Thanks.

Hello, I've always used Mumsnet as a ref but never actually written a post myself. So hello everyone!

I'm so interested by this thread and if anyone is either further along with TTC or coming closer to a decision to TTC?

My DH and I have talked about baby #3 for months, years and we had agreed last year to start trying second half of this year... now I feel so uncertain about it. I have such mixed emotions and I feel Covid has thrown a spanner in the works. I would like another as I simply don't feel done. However similarly to another lady, I'm coming out of the hard baby/toddler phases and the longer I'm out of it, I'm starting to feel do I really want to do it all again and bring along the older two for the tough journey!? My mood swings on minimal sleep is shocking HOWEVER... the early years don't last long, it flies by if you let it (!) and similarly HOPEFULLY to covid - none of it will last forever and I need to think of the bigger picture. I am not getting any younger, I'll be 37+ having my 3rd if we start TTC when we intended (from August this year). I just wish I had a crystal ball!! I know there's no right or wrong, and I need to make the decision but I just wish this uncertainty cloudiness would disappear!

@helia The reason we decided to start trying is I’ve looked again at my fertility test results, and realised that we just don’t have much time (I’ll be 37 this year), and we don’t want a big gap between kids (our DS is nearly 2). I’m still worried about catching it as I don’t think the evidence on its impact in pregnancy is as conclusive as they make it sound, but it might take us ages to get pregnant anyway, so I guess we’ll have to leave it to fate and hope for the best

Hi, I've never really used Mumsnet before but as me and my husband have just started TTC during these crazy times, it's been nice to read this thread and see that there are plenty of other people in the same boat! Me and my husband got married in September last year and were very lucky to go on our honeymoon in the Caribbean in Feb/March this year. Because of Zika virus, we held off TTC until now and it wasn't until yesterday that I was able to have my coil removed at the doctors. Although we understand the uncertain times, this is something I have (and my body has!) been ready for for so long, that the idea of pushing it back any further just wasn't an option for us. How is everyone else doing?

My main concern is that my first pregnancy wasn't straight forward. It all turned out well in the end but we had over 20 scans due to a large fibroid encroaching on the baby. So, if I were to have another horrid pregnancy with multiple scans, then it could be an absolute nightmare if my husband wasnt allowed with me AND having to drive 2 hours to the specialist hospital like we did every 2 weeks or so before.

I don't think I would be hesitating if I had, had a straightforward pregnancy before. You don't see anyone until your first scan at 12 weeks and Covid may have died down by then. And if all goes well, I think you only have one more scan and that's it. Midwife appointments can be done via telephone, if everything is going well.

Any thoughts?

I would be interested in hearing what a midwife thought about TTC during these times. I wonder whether they're all deeply concerned about new pregnancies. Or whether they think we are being irresponsible. Or maybe that we need to get on with our lives and trying for a baby is a part of that.

@Unjani I'd be interested to know that too. I've heard some people suggesting there will be a lockdown baby boom, but I wouldn't be surprised if the opposite was true.

I called my GP surgery the other day, to ask if I could speak to someone about risks etc for a second pregnancy (I had complications leading to slightly premature birth with my first) and was advised to book an appointment with my GP "at the end of the year"! She later corrected herself and suggested August or September, but still.

I think high stress levels will prevent a massive baby boom.

I can't say what individuals in the NHS will think but I gather fertility treatment has now resumed so on that basis it can't be frowned upon. There's some food for thought here - www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/im-pregnant/coronavirus-and-pregnancy/coronavirus-and-trying-get-pregnant

@Mybobowler "at the end of the year"?! I suppose August or September isn't that long away- in that they must be thinking conceiving around then is ok. So surely starting now is ok too. (Although I suppose it was just the receptionist you spoke to and that prob wasn't in relation to your specific request). Hm... not sure.

@helia thanks for the link. That answers a few questions actually! I think I've been looking for someone to say "it's fine, go ahead with your plans", but I don't think anyone is going to say that really.