9 months ttc so over it.

[Ails826]

Hello,
Im 29 my husband is 28. We got married in august 2019 and have been ttc ever since.. with no luck.
Im starting to really worry.
We started blood tracking 2 months ago, apparently i ovulate but we were allowed to take the pregnyl shot and do progesterone while i am on my 2 week wait
My sister in law is due next month and i am so so bitter I hate myself for it she called to tell us we needed needles before visiting and i dont even know if i can go and see her right now id cry!

At rhe beginning to told people we were ttc.. but the months and months its gone one i regret it so much so i stopped talking anout it or telling but now i feel scared lonely and jealous and alllll the rage !!!
Xoxo

Hey! So sorry you are going through this. I am in a similar situation. Me and my partner are both 26 and have been ttc for 15 months now, I have recently had my 21 day bloods and everything came back normal, am due to have a couple of more tests but can't because of the current Coronavirus situation. It's really hard as all of our close friends are either pregnant or have recently had a baby, I try not to talk about it with anyone anymore as I can't face it. I just try to tell myself it will happen when it's meant to happen but some months I really struggle with it. I am going to try acupuncture when we are able to go out again and see if that has any positive affects. Really hope you get your positive test soon xx

You are still very young, it can take people more than a year to conceive a child. Yes, others seem to do it straight away but that's life. You've also not been married very long, I expect last August seems like yesterday!

Right now is not a good time to be even thinking about having a baby. Why not just relax, think about other things (if you can), and crack on with doing your best for yourselves and any others you can help until the current crisis is over.

It may just happen when you're not expecting it. I've known so many people in whom that was the case.

For goodness sake, don't be jealous of your sister in law! She's family, you'll be an aunt. You're likely to catch up soon too. It's far too soon for you to start being resentful of pregnant women and it is quite nasty. I don't know what 'needles' you should take if you're going to see her but - can you even go and see her at the moment? I'd have thought not.

I feel your pain OP! It took me and DH 12 months to get pregnant, it was really tough and emotionally draining. It did happen though and I'm now 30 weeks pregnant (in this awful situation we are now all in) all you can do is keep trying and go for any tests they offer you 😊 do nice things that you enjoy doing! Look after yourself and be gentle to yourself.

@chocolate26 thank you so much i needed some hope while feelig so vulnerable and low.. while i eat an easter egg haha

O.P. sorry I don’t understand some of your post. If you’ve only been trying for 9 months why are you having progesterone and bhcg shots? You can’t be in the U.K.? Or are you under a fertility clinic? I just ask as if you’re taking these things unnecessarily it can actually interfere with things...

Im in Australia and seeing a specialist.
My progesterlme was 19 to 21 on my 21 day bloods and she said they need to be over 30 to sustain pregnancy so i started tsking vitex from my natropath and the specliast prescribed the progesterone and the pregnyl to make ovulation more exact but i agree i was confused as she did say I was ovulating on my own

Hi OP. I'm in the same situation. Me and fiancé are both 27 and I've just started AF on month 9 of trying so we're out this month. It's so difficult and impossible to take your mind off it.
I had bloods done last month (UK based but think it depends on your doctor) and they suggested everything is fine. Been told they would now send OH for sperm analysis as the next step but can't due to the COVID-19 pandemic (just like to clarify I am completely supportive of that given what's happening). So we're just back to trying every month now. We get married next Christmas so feel like my days are numbered as we will have to take a break at some point so I'm not pregnant for the wedding.

Hi @Ails826 I just want you to know you’re not alone and I understand how frustrated you feel. I think some of the comments on here have been quite unhelpful, so just wanted to let you know that you’re well within your rights to feel whatever you want to.
I’m still new to the ttc game, only 4 months in for our first, 26 and hubby 28. Irregular periods since coming off the pill which is annoying, and I am SUCH an impatient person!
Fingers crossed for you 🤞🏼

I am also TTC at the moment. I have fertility problems but have one DC already. I was told I wasn't ovulating but after just over a year we conceived naturally... and actually more like 2 years of trying if you count the year we weren't actively trying. So it does happen! We stayed reeeeeally chilled about it - not saying that helped us conceive but it certainly helped our mental state, relationship, mental health etc.

I've just done my 3rd month with no success but trying to keep the same mindset as before.

Try to enjoy the process at the moment and not put pressure on yourself. At least until the Coronavirus situation calms down.

Good luck and I hope you get your BFP soon!

Thank you so much, I feel so much better reading these comments.
I got my AF a few days ago, it took a while to come after taking the progesterone so i had a 32 day cycle which I have never had before :( now i suppose we are on to cycle 10. So fustrating as I had my.ultrasound and they said i had 2 eggs wven warned ys about twins and we got excited and 2 weeks later we are told it didnt work.
Fingers crossed for all of us this cycle I keep telling myself it can happen at any month but it is so hard to kssp positive

I also had silly ages stamped in mt head as to when I wanted things to happen and it worries me about having a second or a 3rd or whether thats even possible !

I didnt realise quite what an up and down journey I was in for :(

@Newbie0818 thank you.. It feels so much better having people that understand and validate how I am feeling. To be fair I felt similar to this on my cycle 4 too. We started trying Aug last year and assumed I would be pregnant by christmas to be that was ridiculous that I wouldnt be and I remember as the months went on I cried snd cried so I totallly get where you are at xx

I know what you mean. And I totally empathise that’s have been trying so much longer too. I was so naive to think that if I missed one pill I would get pregnant instantly, and when I came off them we’d have a pregnancy straight away! Until I actually started trying I never realised actually how difficult it is, and how timing is everything. Who knew! I also had the ages in my head.

What I will say though is that I was completely obsessive the first 3 cycles, and it got so boring and stressful. We actually decided to take a break from it all this month and I feel so much calm, and we’ve actually enjoyed DTD! It’s so hard to be relaxed and not look for every sign though 🤞🏼

Yes! On our honeymoon i was saying how i felt bloated and thought I may be pregnant hahaha its funny now

Yes ! Fingers crossed for you! Itl happen!!

Can totally sympathise. I’m 28 and DH is 30, we have been trying for DC1 since we got married last year. Currently on cycle #9 and I’m so fed up of it all. I just feel like it’s never going to happen. My best friend started trying just after me and got pregnant first try and although I’m so happy for her, I’m also so put out about it and I find it so upsetting watching her pregnancy progress and me still not even pregnant at all. I just don’t even get my hopes up every month now. We’ve not had any tests yet, gonna wait till we hit cycle #12.

@Nat4392 you poor thing :( I totally get it though! I’ve only told one person we’re trying, which is a friend who’s older than me and she got pregnant instantly. It’s bittersweet isn’t it. So so thrilled for her though. I know she feels awkward talking to me about it though.. since ttc I’ve had 2 friends from uni who have had accidental pregnancies! Lucky devils!

@Newbie0818 I wish I never told anyone we’re TTC, it’s kind of common knowledge with everyone that we were planning on it once we were married. But I can’t stand it when people literally ask if we’re pregnant yet. I know they don’t mean anything by it, but I hate it. I know only being on cycle #9 is far from a long time for TTC so sometimes I feel bad even complaining. On the flip side I have another best friend that has been TTC for years with no success and I feel I can’t talk to her properly either because I feel like I’m moaning over nothing when she’s in a worse position. I never though the TTC journey would be this bad!!🙈

@Nat4392 I've only told one friend but I get asked constantly! I have a few friends on particular and it's a bit of a game to them to ask me all the time. I know they mean nothing by it and they have no idea but most days I come home and cry over how much people talk about it

@Newbie0818 I have a few friends that have got pregnant since we started trying. One who's had loads of problems so I'm so happy for her and one who is a complete accident so not so much 😂

All I keep thinking is if we'd have been lucky enough to conceive month 1 we'd be nearly due now 😥

Yes @Nat4392 and @slug123 it’s frustrating how people keep asking. People actively look at my belly now! We go married in 2018 and since then people have literally been expecting us to announce we’re pregnant. But I think once you get married that’s the next question, like when you get engaged they ask “when’s the big day”, once you’re married “so when are you having a baby?”. It’s such a personal question, you never know who might be having struggles with it right? Chin up though girls, hopefully it will be our time soon x

I totally get it. I got the call from the nurse to say my blood work came back negative and just sat and sobbed to my husband cycle 9 hit me so hard and now i just feel si flat and miserable about it. I dont ever expect to get pregnant and I just feel like I cant believe it because stupidly i assumed i would be pregnant.
Its common knowledge for us too because we were so open about wanting a ba y and startong a family after the wedding that people ask me all the time its awful and i stopped drinking coffee and a few people asked and I know my mother in law keeps asking about us and im like.. im trying my hardest to get pregnant

I know peoppe on here have tried for 3 years etc so i feel bad but when my sister in law said she was preg last november i cried and thought well surely il be pregnant soon anyway.. yet im not and she is due next month im devastated we decided wheb we go to visit we will get an air bnb just so if i need a big cry then we can be sad alone and not showing them
But im so worried about holding a new born baby because i want one so muchh il probably cry which is a bit silly i know !

:( i always imagined having a baby before i was 30 i actually wanted them wheb i was 26 onwards and now im 29 i feel anxious about it too i need to get the age thing out of my head !

@Ails826 so sorry for the negative :( and it’s not silly to cry over something you’ve wanted for so long at all. Sometimes a big cry helps! Better then holding it all in. I’m sure when you see that baby you will be so over the moon still. And don’t forget there are many ways to get pregnant, so don’t give up hope 🌼

Normally the first time will take a year. You should start worrying if it exceeds one year. Just to save time, let your partner do a sperm analysis. If you have a regular periods you should be fine. Just wait for it.

Hi can I join in too? Started my pre-AF spotting yesterday and fully expecting to wake up to the start of my new cycle in the morning. Going onto official cycle 9 of TTC however this cycle will mark technically 1 year off of contraception. I’m 25 so similar age range to you guys too! We haven’t told anyone we’re TTC but our friends / family know we want kids, so it’s a bit of an awkward one with people making jokes asking when baby’s are gonna appear!

@Ails826 it must be so bittersweet with your SIL being pregnant, will be so lovely for you to have a baby in your family but so hard at the same time :-(

I’m so sorry you’re all feeling this way too, it’s sucks! I don’t think anyone can tell us how to feel, comments such as “your still so young” and “this is normal” doesn’t help at all - especially when so many people are falling pregnant with a lot less effort. No one plans this to happen, you decide you’re ready for a baby and hope to fall sooner rather than later!

Sorry if this is too nosey & feel free not to answer, but DH and I have never had so much as a chemical, which makes me worry more that there’s an issue, is anyone else the same? X

@Ails826 just wanted to say "hang in there"

Sure, some people are TTC for years, but 9 months feels like an eternity for everyone TTC, especially with the outside pressure of having told people you're trying.

I thought the second comment on this thread was unnecessarily harsh and dismissive (@Lynda07 - I sincerely hope you didn't mean it to come across that way, but you really should think about how you phrase things - you were not kind).

Don't listen when people tell you "you're young" or "you haven't been TTC that long" or "right now is not a good time to even think about having a baby?". We're not stopping TTC because of the current situation, because we can't afford the time to wait TBH (I'm 38). Sure, some people might, some might not... just do what feels right for you and your DH.

It's totally normal to feel envious of others with babies or who are far along in their pregnancy (it is most definitely NOT nasty). Many of us have gone through this, it's tough to wrestle with your emotions/reactions when getting pregnant all you can think about. My best friend just gave birth, while I was over here having a MC. It's not her fault of course, but every time she sends me a cute picture of her newborn, I feel this pang in my womb and it's all just so terribly sad.

In addition to blood tracking with your doc, I assume you're using OPK, tracking your temp, etc.?

@A08x hello! Of course you can join Im so sorry that its a negative this month again. I really thought this was my month but I do keep reminding myself I would have been due on christmas day but it doesnt always help.

I know, all the people I know who have gotten within 6 months and I guess I used that as my aim and then well it didnt happen.

I am terrible and impatient so we seeked help and lied at 8 months and went to see a specliast, Iv seen natropaths and acupuncture and all sorts.
When AF comes I always think NOPE not trying next month I need a break and cant but then we get to CD4 or 5 and Im ready to go again it really is a rollercoaster.

Yes! People saying to relax or it takes time or your young it doesnt help it just hurts more because your feeling a certain way and someine is telling you your not allowed to be feeling the way you are when actually its normal and we cant help the feeling so i say feel it and acknowledge it be sad for a day then pick uourself up again i have a pity party once a month hahaha

Xx

Hello @jazzibelle
Yes completely agree with what you have said.
We are the same in terms if we continue to try anyway and it a miracle happens we would be over the moon and extra cautious.

Yes! We have tried OPKs the clear blue ones as I found the cheapy sticks really hard to read and i think I just need a yes or a no type answer haha
I have now moved on to blood tracking so I do about 6 blood tests a month and then a nurse says to have sex 3 days in a row

I am starting temping again this cycle I was doing it but I went through a phase because everyone says 'stop trying and itl happen' so i pretended to myself I was relaxing a bit so i stopped temping and doing the salavia fern test thing and just did OPKs haha

Im.so sorry about your MC. I have never had a chemical or an MC and the thought of being pregnant and then not be would be so so painful phycially and mentally im so sorry :(

Yes other people having babies or people that comfide in me they are abput to statt trying and then get pregnant even though they have no ides that we have been trying a while and still nothijg is hard too xx