Anyone not just delaying but reconsidering TTC altogether due to Covid-19 and the impending recession?

[Leavingitlate]

After a long time on the fence, I had finally come round to the idea and was actually enthusiastic about TTC. (DH always wanted kids, but I was extremely ambivalent until recently). We're not young; I will soon turn 36 and he will soon be 42. I had my coil out a few weeks ago and we were going to start TTC in April.

After the Covid-19 developments of the past few weeks, I was initially thinking that we'd delay by a few months, but the more I hear about state that the economy is going to be in after the lockdown, the more I think that it would be unwise to have a child at all. Anyone else feeling like this?

There is little doubt that the future will be quite challenging for the children born today. According to some serious research the majority of western countries have reached their peak living standard in the sense that for the foreseeable future it is more likely that your children will have a worse living standards than yours ( look for instance to : The Fading American Dream - Stanford Center on Poverty and Inequality).then you should add to that the fact that epedimics and climate change related events will be more likely... Looks like it won't be as easy as before!

Personally I think it's selfish and pretty stupid to plan to bring a child into the world now. No one knows what the immediate future is going to be like but I very much doubt it is going to be easy or nice

Part of me wonders the same. Me and my DH are similar ages to you. Slightly older in fact. Certainly on hold for now. But although it would be nice having a baby, I agree. What kind of life will it be? I'm not sure it was even great before all of this. It's slowly becoming an unpleasant place to live. So I think it's a perfectly reasonable thought to be having.

We are lucky enough to have one baby but would love some more and already thinking the same way. Having children in general is one of the most exhausting, stressful and life changing things you will do, so unless you are absolutely certain I really think you should consider it again. If your dp had always wanted children though, it may be bery hard for them to think otherwise.

I think putting off for the sake of the world we live in not being perfect isn't a good reason though. I think the birth rate will drop anwyay and we will have a lot of deaths and it's making decent humans to sort out this world that will change things. It will just be a different world to the one we know.

It's a tough one. I'm currently pregnant and it's a really worrying time. Midwife appointments being cancelled or being done over the phone, antenatal consultant appointments being cancelled, having to go to scans on my own.
But then how long do you wait for as can take a long time too conceive. If you do get pregnant, the antenatal care will still be there just perhaps reduced. All the best with whatever you decide x

@lynsey91 so am I Selfish and really stupid? I found out on Monday that I’m pregnant after 4 long years.

Thing is- we are naively assuming in a few months we'll all be back to normal. And I've no idea if that'll happen.

I don't think having a baby right now is doing anything but putting your own wants first. So yes it is selfish in a way. I'm 37. No idea if it'll ever happen for me now. But I'm not going to blindly carry on. If I was already pregnant then I'd of course carry on and hope for the best. AF arrived yesterday for me. I had no idea this would happen when I was ovulating, so anyone that's just got a BFP would have also been in the same boat.

I'm already pregnant so too late, but if I had a choice then yes I would delay until at least the worst of the pandemic is over.

Re the general state of the world - it isn't any worse now than it's been throughout history. There have always been wars, natural disasters, disease epidemics, economic crises etc and life went on, babies continued to be born and people got on with it. In fact 21st century UK is a pretty good time and place to be born in terms of lifestyle, even for the poorest, relatively speaking.

Whether you actually want a child is another matter and up to you to decide.

@Insideallday well obviously you became pregnant before all this started but no one knows how the virus might affect pregnant women or the unborn child. Yes I do think that anyone who gets pregnant at the moment is incredibly stupid and selfish. Surely you should think about any future child's future not just your own wants?

@BiscuitLover2391 well let's hope the population does decrease. It bloody well needs to. I can't believe anyone could think the planet is not overpopulated already. The last thing we need is yet more humans.

@Overthinker1988 I disagree that the state of the world is not any worse than before. None of us know yet the full affects of the virus.

Also it is extremely likely there will be a very bad recession and, depending how long this virus continues spreading, life could change beyond recognition.

Also what about the not too distant future and climate change, water shortages, food shortages, rising sea level etc.

Children today almost certainly face a pretty bleak future. I would never ever bring a child into that

I think you are being a little harsh Lynsay91. Lots of people struggle to conceive, perhaps they have been trying for years, or suffered a loss and time is running out age wise. Tbf I am not sure why you are in the conception area bar to make people feel bad and even more worried and anxious. This is a place to support people.

@lynsey91 Children aren't really facing a bleak future though. Yes, all that you've listed may be true but we have a higher standard of living than at any other point in history, all things notwithstanding.

I was born in a poor country during complete economic, political and social breakdown, it was proper third world conditions, yet I don't consider myself to have had a bleak life. I'm sorry that you have such a pessimistic of the world. People aren't selfish for wanting to have children, it's a natural biological urge.

Plus the Uk has an ageing population so we need more babies to be born if we're to have enough people of working age to keep the system going.

No. People felt like this during the Cold War and that turned out ok. We will be ttc next month as planned. If you wait for the “perfect time” you will wait forever.

Yes @lynsey91, why are you in the conception forum?

It's had the opposite affect on me. I was planning on ttc as soon as possible, (just wanted to finalise a house move first). But now that's all on hold of course until this is all over. It has made me feel alot more mortal, and am actually even more eager to just ge tpregnant no matter whether other factors are sorted out, as reality has hit in how short life could be!

lynsey91- you can't tell people not to TTC - who do you think you are? I presume you don't have children, so why post on Mumsnet telling us we are all doomed?

I'm continuing to try. I'm of an age where every month counts. Of course the world is in turmoil but we can't stop everything for the unknown.
Do what feels right for you. I don't think it's selfish to want a child, it's the most natural instinct we have. There's never a perfect time.
I had a miscarriage in Sept otherwise my due date would have been tomorrow. It would have been a scary place to be in but I'd still do it again!

Im wondering what else there is to get up to if you’re stuck indoors with your partner! We have undergone fertility treatment for years so have had to stop ttc as it’s not essential travel

Wow I'm wondering why @lynsey91 is on mumsnet at all let alone a conception board 🤔.

We continued ttc this month, however, we will keep reviewing this each month depending on how things continue to play out. My worry is for the immediate future, strain on nhs, unknown risks in pregnancy (although I think this is looking to be quite small but still unknown). I am not worrying too far into the future about the economy etc as it might not be worth worrying about and things might right themselves again. We never know what's around the corner and if we always worried about the future we would always delay.

Wow @lynsey91 talk about being an absolute creeper lurking in mumsnet conception boards without actually having any intention of TTC. You’re absolutely entitled to your opinions and your attitudes towards life and procreation but how bout you take them somewhere else. This is a scary and stressful time right now, people who want children dearly are being put in a position where they are questioning it. This is a place for support and I’m sure if you want to spout your waffle there is a discussion board out there for you somewhere.

@lynsey91 wow dramatic much. I know this lockdown is causing people to be a bit fed up/bored, but trolling people on a CONCEPTION board on the internet because they want children and you think no one should ever conceive again is a very sad, strange way to spend your time. May I suggest a new Netflix series or baking instead?

As for me and my partner we are plodding on. We’ve been at it for coming up a year and the bottom line is I would like a child. Like some of you I’m 35 and don’t have the time to wait. I feel like it’s never gonna happen anyway so it’s moot, but that’s just the irrational part of my brain saying that, I’ve no evidence to back that up 😂.
Having kids is one of life’s joys. There are people out there with so much less than us in our society and yet they love and cherish their children, find joy in their lives in what ways they can. If our society is on the brink of change then we can’t stop it but change doesn’t mean it’s going to be bad. I’m personally hoping for some positive changes, less consumerism, moving to greener energy given how quickly the planet is recovering now we are all stuck inside. We will just have to wait and see and I know that I want my own wee bambino no matter what.
Good luck everyone, stay safe and healthy.

@fizzl she's in conception topic to preach to us all how selfish and stupid we are. She is right, we are wrong, she is smart, we are dumb. I've put of TTC until this virus has calmed down. But will start up again once it has.

OP here. I only received one reply yesterday, so I am surprised to see how the thread has expanded. I agree that calling anyone continuing to TTC "stupid" is uncalled for, and it certainly wasn't the intention of this thread.

When I wrote this post, I was actually interested to hear from other former fence sitters, as I suppose I am seeing this as a test of how converted to the idea of parenthood, and one that I that I failed.
Perhaps I was always secretly looking for an excuse to return to my child free status quo?

I am certainly taking it as a bad omen that Covid-19 blew up weeks before we were due to start TTC, when I have taken 12 years with my DH to come around to the idea of having a kid.