End of November, jump on board pt 2!

[Skygirl1983]

Ladies from the other thread, we have reached 1000! We need to start a new one!

@zeeeex yeah i dont think id test either if i had an exam! Good luck with that.. i felt nauseous, cramps on and off, sweats, feeling emotional etc.. seems to have settled now, so im really just patiently waiting on AF. Iv bought a thermometer so will start temping tomorrow

@Louu99 I've just changed jobs and relatively happier. I worry I might get bored later as it's much quieter than my old job but theres plans ahead that might make it really good... or absolute chaos 😂

I had a quarter/mid life crisis last year. I think it's quite common around 30ish! I panicked when my OH suggested we finally get a mortgage - I was half scared of the commitment (despite being together for a decade and wanting babies - and no other guy obvs) But I was equally as panicked I just didnt have my shit together as an 'adult' and was just winging it!! So I packed my bags and ran home to my parents in Ireland. Less then 24 hours later I was fine. I just needed a break from life!
My mum said she expected to collect a blubbering mess from the airport - when realistically it was like I was on holiday 😂😂

@Skygirl1983 That must be frustrating. I know you're also stressed so take it easy for the next few days.

@Louu99 I think it’s normal to re-evaluate life when something doesn’t go according to “plan” or we experience loss of some kind. I’ve had many a what’s the point moment the last few months. Just take a bit of time to sit quietly & really think about what YOU want then what steps you need to take in order to get there, somethings you won’t be able to control but you can do things to help it along

@Louu99 sorry you are feeling down. My job isn’t exciting at all, I really wish I had the guts to just go and do something I love to do, but I don’t know that the job exists haha, I would love to be a wedding planner, but not sure I could cope if it all went wrong for someone haha. Guess I will stick to the day job - wish I had just changed when I was 20, when nothing else really mattered and I still lived rent free at home. Xx

@Louu99 sorry you're feeling down. I've definitely had lots of moments like what you are going through. I haven't had it in the line of work but had it in relationships. I've been married twice before my most recent one. The first one I was with for a few years, got a mortgage, got married the whole shabang. He then decided to cheat with his work colleague and the marriage ended. Because I was tied into the house I couldn't move so he moved HER in to his room and for 1 and a half year I lived in the next room hearing them until the divorce was over. The second one was utter rubbish. I put on a front to my family and friends of being this tough woman who doesn't give a shit when I'm completely the opposite. I decided to move away from London, bought a house alone, found Mr Right, completely made a U turn in my career and it's bought me here. Life changes so much in a short space of time Ive realised. There is light at the end of the tunnel...even though it seems like a long ass tunnel.

Everyone we are approaching 1000 posts again...we need to ensure we move everyone to the next one and not lose anyone. @Skygirl1983 are you able to make the 3rd one later on if that's ok?

@Louu99 Iv been lucky enough to have chosen my job at the age of 17 and 11 years later still love it! I studied for 8 years and spent evenings crying into a textbook thinking I wasn't capable but I was and am!
That doesn't mean I haven't sat back and evaluated my whole life around a bad moment in time. I think what you're feeling is so normal....don't be hard on yourself.
@mellymoo86 🥺

@mellymoo86 I'm just about to settle down for an early night but will start PT 3 ready to move on to. Same title, will just say PT 3 at the end! We must be on to a record for how long we have kept a thread going! Lol.

And I'm so sorry you are struggling @Louu99. Life definitely does have its ups and downs. Over the past 4 years it's been the best and worst time of my life all at the same time!! I didn't think it was possible to lose so much and gain so much in one go!! Jobwise I'm happy where I am but it has taken me a long time to get there. I hope you feel better soon.

End of November, jump on board pt 3!
Is ready to go when this one reaches 1000!! I'm signing off for the night. Probably to wake up to my period tomorrow!! But will keep an eye out for the new thread tomorrow.

@Louu99 I spent 4 years studying to be a nurse have been in my job a year and I know I will not be nursing forever. I just couldn't. Makes me think it was all a waste but really it isn't because I suppose the experience would look good on my CV.
Sometimes we just need to take a leap of faith in a new direction. We can always leap back!

Thanks for all sharing.
I guess I'll just be honest (and maybe judged for my previous decisions and reasons for being here) and if I'm outed, then so be it!

I've had a pretty mixed bag of growing up. I had a really good job in the science/crime field which I resigned from when I was 23 to travel the world. A year later I came home and was unable to find work anywhere. I eventually found a job in the Nhs and detested it. My bosses were bullies, most of the staff were terrible and it was an awful environment to work in.
I was single and wanted to travel again, so I thought I'd do an English language degree with teaching elements thrown in, so I could get a good teaching job abroad and live my days happily in the sunshine.

I met my now partner 1 year into the degree, my brother had a baby, family got older and I decided I wanted to stay put (for now). I passed with a first 😎 and was offered scholarship for my MA, which I'm now a few months into. Thing is, I'm not enjoying it. I keep being pushed towards a PhD and I'm not interested.
I've applied for a pgce which would hopefully start in September, but teaching jobs are hard to come by, and all the teachers I know hate it and can't wait to leave.

My passion is in flowers, and I've started a little side business doing floristry, it's just hard to pick it up properly when I'm doing the MA full time.

I don't know whether to just suck it up and complete the MA and continue with the side flowers, or ditch the MA and go after what'll make me happy.
Financially the MA supports me more than starting a business from scratch would, but is it worth it when I'm unhappy and miserable?
There's lots of other factors at play, but that's it in a nutshell.

Sorry this is such a long post! I just need some outsiders advice. My family are all "do what makes you happy" until the shit hits the fan then it's chaos haha not to say they're not supportive, it's just difficult! X

@Louu99 how long is left to complete your MA?

@mellymoo86 sorry to hear about your bad experiences too. Kelly Clarkson was right though, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger 😂 can't help but love some cheese on a Monday night! Xx

@mellymoo86 I finish in September. Currently 3 weeks away from the end of the first term x

@Louu99 I grew up in Africa and Sri Lanka (now live in the UK) so I've had the importance of education instilled in me from a very young age. As I grew up and travelled around I got to see how A LOT of my family didn't and still don't have the chance to have a basic education and now at 33 I still see people suffering because of either the lack of it or not completing what they started (including my own husband). Scholarships are a HUGE achievement and you should be proud to achieve that. My personal opinion is to complete it, do what you love as a hobby during the evening/weekends/holidays (whenever possible) until you are in a better position to get it running off the ground but finish what you started. 🤗

I know everyone says do what makes you happy but ultimately I wouldn't be able to afford anything right now if I did. Because I wouldn't have even gone to uni, or saved, or done half the stuff I have. It's essential to be happy but you need the right foundation to build on and that foundation is education, family, love, support etc.

@Louu99 hahah love a bit of kelly clarkson...I did listen to a lot of dark music about wanting to kill the bitch in the room next door! Lol!! Seriously. Who even does that. Let me just go move in with my bf and his wife. That's normal behaviour! 😏

@mellymoo86 you've had hell of a life! You should write a book, or a thread all about it! 🙂
I know, it is so important and another reason I decided to go ahead with the MA over getting a job was to make myself more attractive on paper, should/when the time comes to apply for primary school teaching jobs. I think my emotions are everywhere and I'm seeing it through really cloudy dirty glasses, rather than my usual rose tinted ones! I'm not going to make a decision now, I just don't want to look back in a few years time and realise how unhappy I was because of it, or be stuck in that unhappiness. If that makes sense?!

And the new gf situation is absolutely ridiculous!! How you managed that for all that time is crazy, you must have some bloody strong will! I'd be poisoning their food and generally being a nuisance haha x

@Louu99 yeah it makes sense to have those thoughts. Sometimes when I'm in the 2ww I have these mild panic attacks where I'm like am I pregnant, omg what am I going to do with a kid, I can't even look after myself 😂 and then I go back to sleep. It's alright to have these thoughts now and then...we as humans adapt and do the best we can.

God knows how I coped! I look back and think woah that was just a completely different life! I didn't want to cause issues because I thought they might kill me😂😂 seriously I did actually think that. Put a lock on my door and stuff in front of it when I slept. If I moved out I wouldn't have got the settlement I wanted and they could use it against me, so they made my life hell and tried to push me out as much as they could.

@mellymoo86 I'm in awe that you stuck to your guns like that, honestly, well done!
Did you have any little moments of menace, like spitting in their milk or something? 😂😂 I realise how that makes me sound (gross) but I'm not sure I'd be able to resist!

@Louu99 I hid fish cans around the house before I left, threw some of their stuff away. Like literally opened the front door and threw it into the bush 😂😂, I used my dumbbell to break their door handle so they couldn't get into their room 😂 yeah I did still do lots but timed it so they wouldn't kill me in my sleep 😂

@louu99 I agree with @mellymoo86 about the value of a degree. However, have just witnessed someone's complete mental breakdown during a postgraduate study that was done at the wrong time in the wrong place with the wrong supervisor. It has costed the person years of their life and their mental health. So I am now cautious of the mentality of finish what you have started...
I would say, if the study is okay and doable then finish, if it is not okay and costing you too much in any sense, then abandon ship.

@Mangaroo that's how I feel at the minute, but because I seem to be all over the place anyway, I don't want to make a rash decision.
Being an adult is hard!! And I'm only 32 😂

@mellymoo86 the fish cans! 😂😂😂 hahahhaa! The whole situation sounds bonkers, it's hard to believe people would do that and think it's ok! (Him now, your reaction was totally reasonable!) x