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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Bfp?

55 replies

GeePipe · 25/09/2019 11:51

Hi. I have just taken this. It says its a midstream test for mid wee but i dipped it in a cup instead. Its a cheap £1 test and i dont know if this is a false line or evap or what? This came up after 30ish seconds. Should i take another one? Is there a chance this is invalid? Thanks for any help x

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Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 15:58

@GeePipe Isn't a baby something your DP wants? How do you feel about it?

Original poster

GeePipe · 25/09/2019 16:08

@crimson. We have discussed having a baby in the future. Maybe 2 years away. Its only recently he seems to have changed his mind that we need to wait and buy a house and car first which is understandable but quiet a long way off. We both have low paid jobs and mine is part time zero hour so pretty stressful. I want to keep it but i know he doesnt. And i hate the thought he is going to be so unhappy when he finds out i want to keep it. I read on google today that a fetus heartbeat starts at 5 weeks. According to nhs calculator i am 5 weeks so i doubly cant do it.

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Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 16:34

@GeePipe Oh OP, it sounds a very sticky situation. I wish there was some advice I could give you. The truth of it is, if he doesn't want a baby then he doesn't want a baby, but that doesn't mean you wanting to keep your baby is wrong either. And if you were considering a baby in around two years are you so far off the possibility of making it work? Don't feel pressured into having a termination when you clearly do not want that. It would be something you'd regret for the rest of your life judging by how vehemently you don't want an abortion.

Original poster

GeePipe · 25/09/2019 16:44

Thank you. I know deep down i want to keep it. And i know it could be the end for me and dp. I dont know why i feel like a naughty school child im 28 for god sake. I just hate conflict and know this will cause a horrible mood now. I hope he comes round to the idea.

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Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 16:48

If the baby was an accident then he can hardly be mad at you. Accidents happen. It's not as if he's said from the get go he doesn't want children, you've discussed it and he's said maybe in two years time so you were eventually going to have a family, the timing is just a little different. It's a tough situation, but do what is right for you OP.

Original poster

GeePipe · 25/09/2019 16:57

Thank you. I know his view on it and i know he will be so stressed and annoyed at me for wanting to keep it. He would never force me to do anything i dont want to but i just hate the thought that there will be conflict. He already blames me for forgetting my pill twice and taking it late. I genuinely didnt know it had to be the same time every day.

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Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 17:04

He sounds a bit of an arse. Accidents happen. I hope it goes better than you expect. Check back in and let us know. Thinking of you.

Original poster

GeePipe · 25/09/2019 17:34

Thank you so much crimson. I will check back again when i have spoken to him.

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Loti92 · 25/09/2019 18:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Michellebops · 25/09/2019 19:14

Good luck op with whatever you decide.

Remember the pill alone is not 💯 effective and if he didn't want kids just now he should have used a condom too. Contraception is not only your responsibility.

In saying that please don't allow him to force you into a decision you don't want.

It's your body, your choice ❤️

Original poster

GeePipe · 25/09/2019 21:02

Thank you everyone. Its not gone down well. I will make a drs appointment on monday and see my choices.

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Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 21:25

@GeePipe I'm so sorry. What happened? Please don't feel pressured into doing anything. It's your body, and if you want the baby then you should feel pushed into anything.

Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 21:25

*shouldn't

Original poster

GeePipe · 25/09/2019 21:33

He isnt happy. Doesnt understand how pill failed. Said there will be resentment no matter what choice is made and our relationship will be ruined. So i havent reallly spoken at all. He cooked dinner and i am laying down. I hope he comes around to the idea otherwise i will have to go it alone.

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Crimsonpetalandthewhite · 25/09/2019 21:41

Why ruined? That seems very harsh. Hopefully he'll come around. But if not I'm sure you can do it alone. The emotional side of there will be resentment isn't fair, especially since he's basically insinuating that unless you have a termination things can't progress.

beibikeiks · 25/09/2019 22:06

I'm very sorry you're in this position 😔

I had an unplanned pregnancy at 21 and we were hardly dating and it was the first time we had sex 🙈

Now 9 years later, we are married, we have both finished a bachelor's and master's degrees, we have moved between countries, gone twice to Japan (all the way from Europe) for holidays and so so much more - all this with a child 😊

Having a child doesn't just stop your life as is... far from it. You just have to make what you want of it!

Wish you all the best!

Original poster

GeePipe · 25/09/2019 22:19

Thats really reassuring thanks. In my head i feel anything is possible travel uni owning a home even with a child. He sees it the opposite right now.

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Original poster

GeePipe · 27/09/2019 07:14

As an update i told him i want to keep it. He is really not happy. Says he feels trapped by me and this has ruined his life. His other child was a mistake as well so he is extra sensitive to this. He is quiet and moody and said he will support me but he resents me and this has ruined our relationship. I really dont know if this will be the end for us. He is saying we cant afford it and we are now going to suffer financially for the next 18 years trapped.

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JustLikeJasper · 27/09/2019 07:31

@GeePipe sorry he is acting this way, to be honest if he sees his last child as a 'mistake' perhaps A) he should have also used contraception and B) you would be better off bringing up the baby alone than with a negative unhelpful bloke who thinks of their child as a mistake!
Hope you're ok x

Original poster

GeePipe · 27/09/2019 07:43

Thank you. Im just stressed out because of how stressed out he is making me. I told him to have a good day when he left for work and he accused me of being sarcastic. I have told him if he wants to end the relationship and i move out i will go asap but he said no, even though he has said this will ruin our relationship so i have absolutely no idea what he wants right now.

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JustLikeJasper · 27/09/2019 07:53

@GeePipe it's not about what he wants any more, it's about the baby and what you want. I know it's easy for me to say but you need to make it clear to him if he wants to continue the relationship then he needs to grow up and loose the negative attitude. No point him sticking around if hes going to stress you out and be negative about this x

joystir59 · 27/09/2019 08:02

Don't give up your child. He sounds like a sulky selfish child of a man trying to emotionally blackmail.you into doing what he wants.

Original poster

GeePipe · 27/09/2019 08:12

Thanks all. I really hope he starts to change his mind and become more positive pretty soon. I hate this whole being mad at me stuff. I text him like he asked and said i didnt know what to say as he is mad at me. He said he isnt mad (clearly is) so i said sure? And hes not responded. He could just be busy at work but i dont know. Not sure what to do with myself. The only positive is i told my dm yesterday and she said me and baby can move in with her if i need to. Ive been awake all night and am off work sick again today because my stomach was hurting so bad all through the night and i felt sick. Not sure if thats a bad thing.

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Michellebops · 27/09/2019 09:19

Why don't you go and stay with your mum or a couple of days, give you both some head space.

Original poster

GeePipe · 27/09/2019 09:31

My mom lives an hour away and i just dont feel well enough to travel there right now. Plus if i go dp has a complex that i am leaving him which wont solve anything. I know he is now very stressed that we are trapped and have no money or house and his other child wont get the same treatment this one will if i stay. I know why he is upset. But he is taking it harder than it needs to be. I work part time on a zero hour contract so maybe he thinks i wont get maternity pay from work which i assume i am entitled to after 3.5 years there. My family will help buy stuff for the baby as i plan on 2nd hand everything and i will cross the bridge of going back to work and finding a new job and childcare when it comes to it.

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