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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

When will it be my turn?

29 replies

SummerSun10 · 22/07/2019 17:27

Just feeling a bit down. We have been ttc for almost a year now and haven't had even a hint of a BFP. I have AF every month, though my cycle varies from 29 to 36 days so irregular.

The last couple of weeks all my good friends have been announcing their pregnancies, a couple of them conceiving on their first cycle trying. I have just found out another friend is 6 weeks pregnant.

I just feel like it is never going to happen for me. My friends will all be having their babies around the same time and I feel so left out. I don't even want to see them at the moment as they keep talking about their pregnancies and it's making me sad. Anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:

cranstonmanor · 22/07/2019 17:44

I started TTC on the first of January 2009. I did have a two year break in between, multiple miscarriages, a termination for medical reasons at 18 weeks and an ectopic pregnancy. I think that I've been pregnant 7 times now, but nIt is hard to see other people have kids easily, but unfortunately you really have to try not to comoare because it will only make you more miserable. My biggest bugbear is people who never wanted kids and then just had them instantly when they wanted them a few years later. Literally everyone I know who didn't want kids, now have kids. It's just life and we have to move on.

PocaNinja · 22/07/2019 17:52

I had a chemical last year and a miscarriage a few days ago. It’s soul breaking especially since my cousin and I fell pregnant at the same time.

I’m sorry for all your losses, and I understand how you’re feeling, I’m feeling pretty down myself right now but I think that I will have the baby that is meant for me. When the time is right, I will fall pregnant and meet the baby that is meant to be in my life. That’s what’s keeping me going right now.

Sleepyhead11 · 22/07/2019 17:53

Hello, it's infuriating isn't it? Every month when my period comes I am angry as have done everything I can and so many people keep having 'happy accidents.'

How old are you? I am thirty four and keep thinking 'I will be pregnant by x date' and then I'm not, but everyday else is.

Pearlg · 22/07/2019 17:56

@SummerSun10 yes me & it's awful, you are not alone it's okay to feel like this. Like you I'm constantly thinking when will it be my turn. My period is due in a day or 2 and I'm so emotional today because another month is gone. I had a miscarriage in Jan & really believed I'd be pregnant again by now, I'm just not coping with being back to trying again.

Do your friends know you have been trying for almost a year? Its so hard to be around pregnant women when it's not you so don't feel bad for not wanting to be around them, I'd be exactly the same.

I'm heading to my DR in Aug, have you tried anything with the DR to see about getting any checkups done?

It's so hard being positive all the time & it does get you down when everyone gets pregnant so easily!

Take care & believe it will happen for you (I know this is easier said than done!) Xx

mrsc1987 · 22/07/2019 18:01

I can completely relate to this. I've said it to myself so many times 'when will it be my turn' and 'when will it be me' it really is hard when so many people have babies and dont even seem to try, just wanted to tell you you're not alone and to stay positive that one day (hopefully soon!) It will be us!

Original poster

SummerSun10 · 22/07/2019 18:53

Thanks everyone for your replies, as awful as this situation is for everyone it does help that others feel the same. Sorry also for everyone that has had miscarriages.

To answer some qs, I'm 32, been trying since last August. Most of my friends know we are trying but not for how long. I haven't been to see a dr yet, I wasn't sure when to do this. Do you know if it has to be a year or can I go before this? Has anyone been through tests yet and have any experiences to share?

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Pearlg · 22/07/2019 20:15

@SummerSun10 agree it defo helps there are others feeling same!

I see stuff online all the time about waiting and trying for a year until seeing a Dr but it's never really clear why. I've decided I want to see the Dr now. It's been 6 cycles of trying for me since my miscarriage & I think I just need reassurance everything is okay & I can / will get pregnant again. I'm 34 & DH is 41.

Also I think even just making the Dr appointment makes you feel a bit more in control of the situation & more proactive. No idea what test they will do but I think possibly blood tests?! I've always suffered from recurrent thrush (sorry tmi!) & I've convinced myself through google that I have some sort of hormonal imbalance that could be stopping me conceiving

Serenity2204 · 22/07/2019 20:17

Hi all, just signed up to mumsnet today and first post. I’m 34 and also TTC first baby. We’ve only been trying for a few months so not long at all but I get completely how you are all feeling- everyone around me is either pregnant or have kids and you feel left out. My husband also works long hours so finding time is difficult. Who knew having sex could be so difficult!! Anyway, just wanted to share and support each other xx

Doyouavocado · 22/07/2019 20:22

Have you tried any ovulation kits? I have been trying for 7 months with no luck, tried using the clear blue ovulation kit 2 weeks ago and got my BFP on Saturday x

Pearlg · 22/07/2019 20:25

Exactly we need share & support each other, I'm feeling a bit lonely with it all nobody except 1 friend knows I'm ttc & it's good to come on here with likeminded ladies!

Anyone heard of this.........I've seen some good news stories from it & now I'm feeling more hopeful, I'm defo going to follow by the letter for Aug & hopefully have some success

spermmeetseggplan.com/smep-step-by-step/

Bumble9193 · 22/07/2019 20:25

@SummerSun10 just thought I would share my experience with you, I have been TTC for a year now but I have had very irregular periods since stopping the pill (I didn’t have one for 6 months until last month). I went to see the doctor regarding the irregularities but they got all the tests started for me to be referred to the hospital, my husband has had tests as well. In my personal experience I would go to the doctors as soon as possible just to get the ball rolling as all of these appointments take time! I finally have my appointment with the gynaecologist in a couple of weeks time and I first went to the doctor back in April x

Original poster

SummerSun10 · 22/07/2019 20:26

@Pearlg sorry about your miscarriage. How long have you been ttc in total? Wishing you good luck for this cycle.

Serenity welcome to MN! Yes it is difficult isn't it, there is always something in the way. I lost two months of trying earlier in the year as first I was ill then DH caught it. It is so great to have people to talk to here though, it's not something that is easy to talk about in real life.

OP posts:

OhDiddums · 22/07/2019 20:29

It's horrible isn't it!
I have friends who tried for a couple of months and miraculously fell pregnant. I have had 3 miscarriages in the 2 and a half years we've been trying. But for the first time in a long time I can say ttc isn't making me miserable and I have made some peace with my situation. I know that I will be a mum, but just not as quickly as I might like. A year for some couples is normal, although I know it must feel like a life time. See your doctor and see if you can have some tests done. A year is when they will usually start testing. Get your OH to have tests too and in the mean time keep trying.

💐

bebeboeuf · 22/07/2019 20:30

I was trying for about 5 years on and off before I got my BFP.
So many friends and family got pregnant quickly
It was heartbreaking for me.

Now I have friends TTC and also struggling and they open up to me as they know I’ve been there.
All I can do is sympathise.

I’m now TTC number 2 and expect it won’t be easy but should a miracle happen and I fall pregnant quickly I will feel very guilty

Original poster

SummerSun10 · 22/07/2019 20:31

@Bumble9193 that is good to hear they were proactive with getting tests started for you. How have they been going, do you mind letting me know which ones you have had?

After reading everyone's posts tonight I think I am going to phone up for a dr appointment tomorrow. It would be good to get started on tests to see if there is anything wrong. What did you ask fro when you first phoned up, do I just ask for a regular appointment, or ask to see a nurse or something else?

OP posts:

Pearlg · 22/07/2019 20:32

@SummerSun10 thank you, & good luck to you this month too(& everyone else!) we started as soon as we got back from our honeymoon Sep 18, I'm hoping that Dr won't treat me like it's been that long because I did get pregnant during this time will see what happens, appointment is 9th Aug & I can hardly wait! I'm trying to stay off google until then

Original poster

SummerSun10 · 22/07/2019 20:35

@Doyouavocado congratulations!
I have been using the cheap opk test strips but not been having much luck. I had a positive once with a different brand but none with these so far. Not sure if that is because I'm not ovulating or not...
Were you using any before the clear blue? Which opk is it, they seem to have a few?

OP posts:

Bumble9193 · 22/07/2019 20:39

@SummerSun10 yeah once I saw a doctor who was pretty helpful she got the tests started for me, I think they mainly did blood tests to start with and I think I have some symptoms of PCOS. I have had quite a few blood tests done, I had an ultra sound and an internal scan which showed that I had two womb linings so I’m not sure what that means for me! At my last doctors appointment before referral she also did a chlamydia test (apparently something you have to have done!) and I had to have a blood test done on the 21st day of my cycle to see if I am ovulating.
My husband has also had sperm analysis done but his has come back above average on most things so that is one good thing at least.
I would just try to get an appointment with the doctor and explain that it has been a year now so you would like to know what the next steps are x

Serenity2205 · 22/07/2019 20:57

@SummerSun10 thanks! Yes difficult to talk about in real life. I think most women just announce they are pregnant but we often don’t know how long they’ve been trying for. We went to a summer party a couple weeks ago and it seemed like all the women there had little kids or were holding babies and it just made me feel really down and a little left out. Made me desperate to have a little family of mine own too! Keep going ladies! xx

shinyblackdog · 22/07/2019 21:13

@SummerSun10 when I was ttc I didn't get a positive on a cheapie opk for the first three months, so I contacted the seller and got this useful advice back:

Try and test between 11:00am and 3:00pm.
If possible, try not to urinate for 3-4 hours before using the test strips and try not to drink a lot of fluid during this time.
Be careful not to immerse the test strips past the max line as this will end up with a fainter test line than you should have.

I started testing at 2pm, stopped liquids at 10am and kept going from CD10 until I got a positive. It turned out that I was ovulating a lot later than CD14 - around CD21/22. Might be worth trying?

showmethegin · 22/07/2019 23:04

In the same boat! On 12th cycle now and feels like a lifetime. I sometimes feel it isn't going to happen. We have just had our first round of blood tests done which all came back normal and have now been referred to the fertility clinic (which has terrified me to be honest, never thought we'd be in this position). Sperm analysis will be done before anything else apparently; not sure how long the waiting list is, hoping for a miracle before then!! I'm 31 and DP 28.

Doyouavocado · 23/07/2019 08:42

@SummerSun10 thank you!

I was using the cheapo strip ones for a bout 4 months, I had a few positives but no luck. I don’t think think they are very good.

I used the clear blue 2 most furtile day ones. It turned out that I was ovulating 2 days after I thought I was. I would highly recommend, good luck!! Xx

Original poster

SummerSun10 · 23/07/2019 09:40

Thanks for the advice on OPKs. I have ordered the clear blue ones and will continue with the cheap opks for now until they arrive. I'll try testing at 11ish today and see if that does anything. Approaching the middle of my cycle so don't want to miss it!

OP posts:

EvelineUK · 23/07/2019 10:44

Glad to see the collective have got you on the OPK track, without seeing the LH surge and with a variable cycle length you may well be putting a lot of stress and pressure onto the wrong days of the month, get scientific with it, get to know your ovulation cycle and then look at methods for maximising your chances like the SMEP method.

Good Luck x

Coastaldreamer · 23/07/2019 11:24

Hi All,

@SummerSun10 you sound very similar to me... I also have cycles almost similar to you, 28-36 days which makes tracking ovulation harder.

We have been trying for about 6 months so I completely get you as I've also heard every other couple seems to just fall pregnant on a whim, or so it seems. I dread when I get PMS cramps as I know then AF is coming!

I haven't tried opk properly yet, only on odd days of cycle when I've thought ov was near but we have an appointment next week with the GP... they say usually a year but I've previously had cysts removed during keyhole surgery. It's worth calling them ?

From what I understand they start by doing bloods for the female to check you're ovulating and then my DH is gonna have to do a sperm analysis to check if there's anything wrong with the swimmers!

Hope that helps x

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