Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

At age 34, am I crazy to wait and try for due date based on school year?

76 replies

Awake6 · 29/05/2019 19:46

I am 34 and we currently have no children. I have read numerous articles that indicate that the youngest children in the class are at a significant disadvantage to the older ones. DH and I could begin TTC very soon, but I am contemplating waiting until December. This would mean should we conceive, the due date would be at earliest September resulting in our child being one of the older ones. That being said, I totally accept the things out of my control so should it take us 10 months to conceive and my child ends up being one of the youngest in the class, I don't mind. I just wondered if I shouldn't be delaying things for 7 months given my age and the reason for it?

OP posts:

Ch3rryTree · 30/05/2019 07:01

You'd be crazy to delay for such a reason at any age.
Your child is not even conceived yet and already you're suggesting s/he might not be good enough.
(There'll come a time when autumn born babies are the YOUNGEST in the class because so many summer borns from the year above have been held back!)

Di11y · 30/05/2019 07:06

you can defer a summer born and they still go into reception. my dd was born mid August and I'm stressing about school, sort of planning to defer as default unless she's super ready.

what would happen if 6 months later you still haven't got pregnant and you're back looking at a summer born but you're a year older? are you hoping for more than one child?

Di11y · 30/05/2019 07:06

*not sressing

Boohootoyootoo · 30/05/2019 07:07

Let this be the very first parenting lesson to you.

Almost nothing will turn out the way you expect it to.

Go with it and don't sweat the small stuff otherwise you'll be a wreck...

crazycatlady7 · 30/05/2019 07:13

I had the Same plan- and I work in education so wanted a baby that worked for the academic year. I'm 35 and thankfully fell pregnant very quickly so having an October baby-

My husband and I agreed to try for a year starting in January, which gave me hope for a autumn baby.... but like you I know things aren't always in control- before January I did a lot of things for me, relaxation, diet so that I had myself in the best place mentally as well.

shrunkenhead · 30/05/2019 07:14

We did this when I was in my early thirties. I wanted to give her the best start academically and it also meant I had another year with her before she Started school.
Started TTC from Feb onwards and dd was born in November. So not the oldest but one of them in her year.
People think we're bonkers for planning it and I know we were lucky to succeed.

ReganSomerset · 30/05/2019 07:22

I'm going to start from January ttc dc2 (DD is a summer baby). I'm a few years younger than you though. It's mainly because I'm going to probably end up going through the process to admit DD for a csa reception start which sounds like a right faff!

Saying that, I wouldn't delay specifically to try and ensure a September baby - I know of a lot of August born prems! If it gets to July and I still haven't conceived I might stop for August through to December and then start again in January. Advantage being a boozy Christmas.

littlebillie · 30/05/2019 07:25

I think it's more ideal to have them older in school, but summer born DCs do okay. One of our friends summer born dc is in the top set for everything. Do miss your chance on having a baby every month/opportunity matters

tisonlymeagain · 30/05/2019 07:28

Wow, people really do this?! I was just grateful to get pregnant at all, hasn't even crossed my mind that I should worry what month they're are born in. Children can struggle whether they are the oldest or youngest.

LolaSmiles · 30/05/2019 07:30

By secondary I can't tell who is summer born if that helps.
I can see it being a bigger issue when almost 1 year difference is a sizeable proportion of their age (e.g. reception) but by secondary I can't tell the difference.

LikeARedBalloon · 30/05/2019 07:38

Oh for goodness sake....just get on with it 😁 you could plan perfectly and the baby arrive early. Nothing goes to plan with children!

SisterMaryLoquacious · 30/05/2019 07:43

I wouldn’t wait until December, but if I knew then what I know now, I might use condoms in October and November (well obviously I wouldn’t actually turn back time because my actual DC are delightful, but the summer born thing has caused a bunch of problems).

Doublechocolatetiffin · 30/05/2019 07:45

I wouldn’t do this either. I got pregnant first time with my eldest, but it took 7 months including a miscarriage to conceive my second. There is no way of explaining how draining ttc can be if you desperately want a child and how surprising it is that you can have loads of sex and still not gal pregnant month after month. As far as I know there wasn’t anything abnormal or unusual about us, it can just take time and things can go wrong. So no I wouldn’t delay based on school year. You may try now and finally get pregnant in December, you may fall pregnant immediately or it take 2 years. You’ll never know until you start trying.

For what it’s worth I agree with the poster who said that some children could easily be bored not starting school until 5. My first was born in October, she won’t start school for another year but is so ready now.

coffeeforone · 30/05/2019 08:00

We did this with DS2 and it did work at age 32.

If your thinking December to start TTC then be careful not to TTC too early in the month.
At the start of December I worked out rough due dates based on my cycle, and had option of 29th Aug or 27th Sept. We went for the latter. DS was then born 5 days late on 2nd October.

I totally wouldn't have minded if it hadn't worked but it was worth a try.

TitchyP · 30/05/2019 08:47

I'm a teacher and I did this with #1. Waited until December and fell pregnant first month, baby was a bit early and I got my September birth literally by the skin of my teeth, just a few hours earlier and it would have been August 😀 i would actively try and avoid a late summer birth but best laid plans and all that!

Yerroblemom1923 · 31/05/2019 11:48

I was going to say a lot of teachers do this to maximise their mat leave! 👍Also ttc from Feb ensures you can drink the xmas/nye prior and the following as baby will be born! Flippant, I know, but it's all about balance.

GreenTulips · 31/05/2019 11:55

Also it saved another year of paid child care

This is aso my thought!

Haffdonga · 31/05/2019 12:15

I would and did. (Ds1 born Sept and ds2 Jan). Was a teacher myself.

I figured we couldn't afford to give our dcs the advantages that some parents can buy, like private school or moving to be in a better school catchment but we could give them this minor statistical advantage for free with a bit of family planning. Why wouldn't you? We were lucky to conceive easily but If we had had problems we would have kept trying regardless of month.

YouWhoNeverArrived · 31/05/2019 13:08

This was a consideration for us. DH is an August baby and did well academically but didn't enjoy being the youngest in his year group. We started TTC last April and planned to take a break for a few months to avoid a June, July, Aug or Sept due date (Sept in case baby came early). Luckily I fell pregnant long before that was an issue.

randomsabreuse · 31/05/2019 13:15

Just get on with it. Autumn/winter birth is great for school but sucks for illness. Plus hospital probably busier as well. My August born was much easier than my November born. She has barely seen the Drs, he had Bronchiolitis aged 4 weeks and was always a bit under the weather. If I were having a 3rd I'd aim for April/May if anything because you have less time heavily pregnant in hot weather and more nice weather to get out with a newborn.

Also if your child is bright they can get more challenges just by being the youngest rather than needing special effort from the teacher!

Pearlfish · 31/05/2019 13:21

At 34, I personally wouldn't delay TTC for this reason. I do believe that there is some advantage for an autumn born child, but I wouldn't risk delaying TTC for six months in case I ended up regretting it.

Bluebluered · 31/05/2019 13:50

I know loads of teachers who plan due dates for July-Sept so not to interfere with school term.

I planned my last baby to be born between September and December as the other 2 were November and January. She was born in November. I know my fertility, I always get pregnant first time so knew it would happen. For others it may not be a choice. I was 30 when I planned her, so a bit younger than you.

YouWhoNeverArrived · 31/05/2019 14:25

If you start TTC now, you could get a March due date. There's no need to delay starting. Just take a break for a couple of months if desired.

becca3210 · 31/05/2019 14:38

I tried to plan this as I am a teacher. 30 years old. Was aiming for an Autumn/Winter baby now will be March at absolute earliest (still waiting for bfp) so be aware it could take a while.

IntoTheDeep · 31/05/2019 14:41

You can’t guarantee these things even if you’re lucky enough to conceive when you want to.

DS1 was due late September (although we weren’t planning TTC around wanting an autumn birthday ).

He was born prematurely in August. I think it would have been a lot better for him to have been born into the next school year, but he has SEN, which complicates things.

Flip

1 2 3 4