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Conception

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Original poster

At age 34, am I crazy to wait and try for due date based on school year?

76 replies

Awake6 · 29/05/2019 19:46

I am 34 and we currently have no children. I have read numerous articles that indicate that the youngest children in the class are at a significant disadvantage to the older ones. DH and I could begin TTC very soon, but I am contemplating waiting until December. This would mean should we conceive, the due date would be at earliest September resulting in our child being one of the older ones. That being said, I totally accept the things out of my control so should it take us 10 months to conceive and my child ends up being one of the youngest in the class, I don't mind. I just wondered if I shouldn't be delaying things for 7 months given my age and the reason for it?

OP posts:
PetraRabbit · 29/05/2019 20:31

I think it's a strange objective to be honest. If your 1st of September child is very bright, they could be left very frustrated waiting so long to start school, and you'll have an extra year of childcare to pay for compared to a 31st of August child. I do understand why someone would avoid a January birthday for their child- plenty of threads on here about that.

Maryann1975 · 29/05/2019 20:32

Ds was due in September. He couldn’t wait to come out and was born early in August. Despite all the statistics about August boys being behind and struggling, he came top of his year in his baseline assessments in reception and is now on the gifted and talented register at secondary school. It hasn’t affected him at all and he would probably have been majorly bored had he been in the myear below (he already finds a lot of his school work too easy).

So, I shouldn’t get to bogged down in planning due dates. If anything I’d try to miss December, every friend I know with a December birthday wishes they could have a birthday when their friends had a spare evening and some spare cash to do something.

SuziQ10 · 29/05/2019 21:02

Yep. I've been trying for a year. Started at 28yo and recently been to see Dr to start tests etc. My first born was a happy accident from one mishap so I thought I was super fertile and conceiving 2nd time around would be a breeze. Hasn't worked out that way. Don't wait.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 29/05/2019 21:05

You could wait until December and if they are born a week or two early they could be August babies! We conceived mid December and due date is 7th September.

I'd crack in with it to be honest. Everyone hopes to get pregnant first try and some do but you can't really plan these things, it can also take months....

Ohana6419 · 29/05/2019 21:14

My brother was an August birthday. Yes, he struggled a bit in school when he was younger (partly because he was a little shit and didn't do anything he was told...) but by secondary school he had caught up. He started his own business at 16, got a first degree from uni and now lives in America earning an absolute fortune in some hot shot corporate role. It certainly hasn't held him back in the long term.

I would also prefer my child not to be summer born for that reason but equally wouldn't put anything off due to that because you just never know. Kids develop at different rates so there's no guarantee that a September born kid wouldn't struggle in their own way.

happytobemrsg · 29/05/2019 21:23

I wouldn’t wait. Too many people struggle with fertility problems. I was a July baby and got much further academically than my winter-born siblings. DS1 (nearly 3)is a June baby & while he seems a little behind his cousin who is 4 months older, his cousin also has an older sister which helps him develop I think. Either way, my DS is doing just fine.

KarlAgathon · 29/05/2019 21:34

I'd wait until Jan or Feb if you want to be on the safe side and assuming you conceive straight away.

You might land yourself with a late August baby if you focus on December!

Yajjjj · 29/05/2019 21:41

I was the youngest in my year at school and coped fine. Don't think this is something to factor in really. Its very child dependent.

InDreamland · 29/05/2019 21:43

You may be one of the lucky ones and get pregnant as planned and have a textbook healthy pregnancy ......... or you could find yourself at the other extreme end like me where it takes 5 years to get pregnant only to lose the baby, followed a few months later with another miscarriage, then all that matters is a healthy full term live birth and the birthday really won't matter.

Don't wait.

Good luck.

Charly90 · 29/05/2019 21:55

When me and my husband first tried I delayed coming off of my pill for a few months because like me I wanted my child to be one of the older ones in the year. We felt so lucky to fall pregnant straight away- and the due date we were given at our first midwife appointment was 5th September. Perfect! Then, just before 12 weeks i miscarried, it was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever been through.
When we finally felt ready to try again we were really really lucky to fall very quickly and our gorgeous baby girl was born on 22nd April- this time round I didn't give a damn when she was born! The most important thing was that we have a beautiful healthy baby- sod the date!
Pregnancy and conceiving are so unpredictable- if your ready now start trying now- when they are here you really won't care what date they were born! Xxx

Fortheloveofscience · 29/05/2019 21:59

We waited for 3 months to start TTC in January at age 32 - and I’m pleased we did because we caught first month and as long as I make it to 37 weeks (currently 24) we’ll have a September baby.

However, I’d have been fine TTC now and having a March-ish baby, I’d really only count ‘summer born’ as July/August when they’re starting school at just turned 4.

RudyRoo · 29/05/2019 22:03

@Awake6 I would say definitely don't wait! You have no idea how long it might take you. Could be up to a year, could be first month and you really have no way of predicting it. I am 33 and it took us 8 months...

CoffeeTable · 29/05/2019 22:05

We conceived in December - due date middle of September. It was twins, born on 30 August Grin
Good luck whatever you decide

Chanel05 · 29/05/2019 22:05

I really wouldn't wait to time it.

MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue · 29/05/2019 22:09

I wouldn't wait because simply put you never know what is going to happen. In the past ten months I have had a miscarriage followed by an ectopic trying to conceive no2. Any thoughts I had about age gaps and perfect timings have long gone. All I desire is a healthy second child. Life doesn't always work out how we want it too, especially when it comes to conception.

WLAH · 29/05/2019 22:12

I wouldn't wait either. My 1st is a Jan baby. On 2nd pregnancy I planned it for a summer baby.. ended in miscarriage. 3rd pregnancy I didnt care..was thrilled be due Feb. Thankfully all went ok resulting in DC2

Lindy2 · 29/05/2019 22:18

We started TTC when I was 34. It took 2 and a half years to fall pregnant, so no I wouldn't let their potential age in the school year influence when to try for a baby. It seems quite an odd thing to attempt to plan for actually.
Having a baby shouldn't be about only wanting a child that does well at school.

AnneElliott · 29/05/2019 22:21

I wouldn't base TTC on school years. I know there's evidence about summer born children, but I do think that kids with supportive families do well no matter what.

Also what if you're due in Sept, but baby arrives early?

stucknoue · 29/05/2019 22:22

I was due the 3rd week of September, I came 3.5 weeks early! Don't base decisions around the school calendar there's no guarantee it will make any difference

Bythebeach · 29/05/2019 22:28

Hmm this is fraught with pitfalls including having a 3 weeks or more prem baby moving them from oldest to youngest. If you conceived now-ish then you’d have a mid academic year baby. Why not try for a couple of months and perhaps avoid months with EDD of July/August?

DoingItForTheKids · 29/05/2019 22:30

Ah I love the thoughts of those who have never tried to get pregnant yet. 'I want an older school age kid' 'I don't want my kid to be born in December' etc. Then you start trying and realise how fucking hard it can be to get pregnant and utterly heart breaking as the months roll on and you are not pregnant and then you wonder why you ever worried about anything than having a healthy child.

Look around you at work. Can you tell who is a September baby and who isn't without asking? Probably not. In the grand scheme of being a parent it's just not massively important and you make anything work.

ChillyB · 29/05/2019 22:32

This was me, specifically timed TTC to have a September baby. Was very lucky and conceived first month of trying. Baby was due 7th September. Baby came 14th August.
I did say baby would probably ruin my best laid plans and come early too. It hasn’t put me off considering doing the same thing again should we have another, I might just wait until January instead of December as DS was early due to pre-eclampsia and having had it once it’s more likely I’d have it again.
I will probably look at delaying his school start until 5 if I don’t think he’s ready at 4 though.

AdoraFlora · 29/05/2019 22:56

I'm a teacher, so this is something I've considered myself.

By far the biggest factor in a child's attainment is their parents' engagement with them. If you read with them, sing nursery rhymes, have conversations and generally take an interest in your child, you don't need to worry. If you plonk an iPad in front of them all day then they'll probably struggle more.

That said, I personally would try to avoid a June-August baby, just to give them every chance. But I am younger than you, and it's obviously more important to conceive and make a summer baby, than no baby at all.

strawberrye · 30/05/2019 06:55

Don't wait. I thought I could time having a baby when I first started TTC age 26. Now I'm more than 18 months down the line and have had three pregnancy losses. Now I couldn't give a monkeys about when my baby is born, all I pray for is to fall pregnant and carry a healthy baby to term.

number1wang · 30/05/2019 06:59

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