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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

worried my partner hates me because I haven't been able to provide him with a baby

76 replies

tjsyourgirl · 09/04/2019 20:28

So, we've been trying to conceive for 5/6 month and haven't yet had any luck. I've not once fallen pregnant in my life. over the last few months I've felt like hes pushing me away because I can't give him what he wants. I've looked at adoption and surrogacy but it's not the same as having your own. I feel like he doesn't want anything to do with me because I physically can not give him a baby. I have the FLO period app on my phone and it said today is the day I was meant to be my ovulation day, I took an ovulation test this afternoon and it was negative. He has a child from a previous relationship. Please, how do I make it possible to give him what he wants?

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 09/04/2019 22:09

Bloody hell, there’s so much wrong there it’s hard to know where to start...

TheInvestigator · 09/04/2019 22:10

You don't rush into having a child to try and make up for failings toward a previous child.

And again, if he is treating you like this because you're not pregnant after a blink of an eye, then will he be the one who supports you for 60 years though all the ups and downs?

What's your financial situation? What's your job situation? What's your long term plan when his treatment of you and his sulking ends the relationship?

cptartapp · 09/04/2019 22:16

Your fertility is the least of your worries. You've been seeing someone for just two years and want to have a baby with him, but you're worried he hates you as you can't give him what he wants! He already has another child by someone else (how often does he see them? I assume he has 50/50 as he's that desperate to fulfill a parenting role). Dear God you're naive. You'd be a single parent within no time. He sounds dreadful.

DoctorDread · 09/04/2019 22:19

Doesn't sound like you're in a healthy relationship op

McHelenz · 09/04/2019 22:20

I need to echo what lots of others have said.

You dont need to worry about your fertility or ability to conceive, you haven't been actively trying long enough. Also Flo (or Glow, I can't remember which you said) said you'd ovulated so you tested - maybe you missed the day. Start testing from around day 10 of your cycle.

I've been having sex since I was 18 (not constantly like...) and I'm nearly 31 - I've never been pregnant, but I've never been trying to get pregnant so it doesn't automatically mean I have issues. It means I've been careful.

You sound really immature. Im not saying that to be offensive, im saying that in your 21, you need to go out and live life and get a bit of a back bone. Then you'll learn that you dont need a baby or a man to be happy.

Original poster

tjsyourgirl · 09/04/2019 22:21

He's trying his hardest to get full custody of his son. We both are. His son is 5, he told me him and his ex had conceived 2 days after having sex, which I find a little hard to believe. All I want to know is if there is any way I can boost my chances of falling pregnant ?

OP posts:

JustHereForThePooStoriesFella · 09/04/2019 22:24

His child now depends on his mother and his mother only

So your boyfriend is trying to take the child away from his mother? Is he trying to punish his son? Or maybe his ex?

Either way, your boyfriend is a prick, and you’d be an idiot to stay with him, let alone have a child with him.

Bellaposey · 09/04/2019 22:24

Google it OP- lots of very helpful articles out there. All of which will tell you up to 12 months is completely normal. Also a book called Taking Charge of your Fertility.

TheInvestigator · 09/04/2019 22:25

You know that feeling of banging your head against a brick wall... we're all having that right now.

It might be 1 year, or 5 years or 10 years but you'll be back on here asking for advice on how to build yourself up after years of emotional abuse and a partner who punishes you and your children with his sulking.

Please remember it isn't just you. If you get pregnant, there will be another child and if he treats you badly because of this, then God knows how he will treat you and your kids when he doesn't get things his own way.

Pianobook · 09/04/2019 22:26

Why are you trying to take his child away from his mother? What does she think about that?

titchy · 09/04/2019 22:28

Your dp is a nasty nasty piece of work if he's trying to take his child away from its mother.

In two years time he'll have shacked up with someone else and be trying to take your child away from you.

You are not grown up enough to be a parent. Don't.

McHelenz · 09/04/2019 22:28

Ive also just said, OPK's at the right time, maybe the right lube.

Do you know what else stops you getting pregnant? Worrying about getting pregnant.

If you want something to love you, get a dog.

mynameiscalypso · 09/04/2019 22:28

You absolutely can conceive two days after having sex - we conceived three days after and there are some stats that show sex two days before ovulation has the highest rate of conception. I would very kindly suggest that you do some reading around the subject to understand your cycle and the process better.

Chocolateisfab · 09/04/2019 22:33

I think maybe get a dog?
Lots of love and responsibility but no nasty mam to take it away from....
His child needs his mam.

If he can't see that he shouldn't be a dad.

ElektraUnchained · 09/04/2019 22:37

Why on earth are you trying to take his child away from the mother when you already have 50:50 access?

Dvg · 09/04/2019 22:37

Grow up and see your dp is an asshole.

Trying to take his kid away from the mum? Pathetic unless a major backstory.

You sound too immature to have a baby I'm sorry.

Plus no-one knows how long after sex they've conceived -_- you can only tell what month it was.

You have been together 2 years! That's nothing and way to soon for a baby, think about the child here... not just yourself, also you wouldn't be able to adopt as they would say you arnt stable enough at home ( no marriage, 2 year relationship.... pathetic)

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 09/04/2019 22:38

Are you not worried he’ll want to take your future child from you? He’ll be telling his next one what nutter you were...

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 09/04/2019 22:39

You don’t seem to know how pregnancy and counting the pregnancy weeks work... nor does your partner.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 09/04/2019 22:40

Why the hell is he trying to get his son full time?
You should not be bringing a child into this shit show.

EnjoyItAll · 09/04/2019 22:51

It sounds like your desperate for a baby to keep the relationship. If you can't survive 5 months of ttc you won't survive having a baby. There is no potion that will make you conceive faster it's just about getting yourself into the best physical, mental and financial place possible, taking folic acid, tracking ovulation and keeping communication going between you and your partner as your in it together. sounds like he wants a baby to correct the wrongs from his last attempt and you want one to fill a gap emotionally. neither are great reasons to have a baby

sweetkitty · 09/04/2019 23:06

You don’t “provide” your partner with a baby, you both commit to trying for a baby in a ling, committed and living relationship.

Your only 21 you have years ahead of you to get pregnant go and have a life first.

PurpleDaisies · 09/04/2019 23:11

Why is he trying to get full custody?

Original poster

tjsyourgirl · 10/04/2019 00:06

We're trying to get full custody as his mother isn't very fit. She has 2 children and the way the teenager turned out to e my partners son is going the same way.

OP posts:

Contraceptionismyfriend · 10/04/2019 00:46

What specific way is she unfit?

Woolly17 · 10/04/2019 07:09

Even completely healthy people can take years to conceive!
But here are some practical ideas you appear not to have considered yet:

Are you tracking your periods and Ovulation? Are your periods regular? Have you got a batch of Ovulation sticks (you pee on them to see if you are ovulating).
Are you underweight?
Apart from your unrealistic time scales around conception (it took my husband and I years before we got medical help) do you have any other physical conditions that might make conception difficult? Have you had chlamydia? Do you have menstrual issues?
How about your partner? Is he healthy? Does he smoke? Drink to excess?

There are so many factors that can affect fertility. However as others have said you and your partner seem to have unrealistic expectations here. If you're already feeling the strain and arguing so badly that you're not sleeping in the same bed after 5months of trying what's going to happen if you do need more help to get pregnant? Ivf is really hard and often heartbreaking
Also your partner is in the middle of a custody battle, which is no doubt stressful. I think you should try to take a couple of cycles break from trying to give you both a bit of headspace

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