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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

worried my partner hates me because I haven't been able to provide him with a baby

76 replies

tjsyourgirl · 09/04/2019 20:28

So, we've been trying to conceive for 5/6 month and haven't yet had any luck. I've not once fallen pregnant in my life. over the last few months I've felt like hes pushing me away because I can't give him what he wants. I've looked at adoption and surrogacy but it's not the same as having your own. I feel like he doesn't want anything to do with me because I physically can not give him a baby. I have the FLO period app on my phone and it said today is the day I was meant to be my ovulation day, I took an ovulation test this afternoon and it was negative. He has a child from a previous relationship. Please, how do I make it possible to give him what he wants?

OP posts:
Original poster
tjsyourgirl · 09/04/2019 21:10

Like I've said, I've put it on this board because I didn't know where else to put it. I've raised my concerns with the doctors but they just pushed it aside. I haven't said I am infertile, I've said I'm struggling to conceive. I know it hasn't been long but I have been sexually active for 6 years and haven't fallen pregnant. I'm not here to argue or get roasted because I've posted on the wrong board I want to look at my options.

OP posts:
AnnaSteen · 09/04/2019 21:12

Maybe you should post on trying to conceive for what you are looking for as most people on this board are far past ttc naturally for a few months.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 09/04/2019 21:13

Presumably you were using contraception before? So you've only been trying for 6 months. That's not long. It feels like it is, people tend to grow up with the assumption that it will only take a month or two, but it can take 12 - 14 months or so and that's perfectly normal. That's why your doctor doesn't seem too interested yet.

How old are you?

Flyingpie · 09/04/2019 21:13

Why would you want a baby with someone who you think hates you?

Xyzzzzz · 09/04/2019 21:20

I think you should ask for this to be moved to the ttc board out of respect for people who have been trying for longer or have infertility issues. I personally took 2 years to conceive and was told I do not ovulate. The Gps won’t do any tests on you until you have been ttc for a year.

But to be honest you seem like you could benefit from some counselling in the nicest possible way, to go through your feelings and your over thinking. Just because he as a child doesn’t meet he’s fertile automatically, I know a couple who went through IVF for their second child and another couple who could not have any more children naturally and went through adoption.

Original poster
tjsyourgirl · 09/04/2019 21:20

I was on and of contraception for 2 year with my first partner. I'm 21, he's 26

OP posts:
Original poster
tjsyourgirl · 09/04/2019 21:21

How do I get this post moved? I'm new to this

OP posts:
Contraceptionismyfriend · 09/04/2019 21:23

Why would the Drs do anything? You haven't presented with any issues.
If you have concerns then book yourself into a fertility clinic that offers evaluation.

Original poster
tjsyourgirl · 09/04/2019 21:35

The doctors can refer me to the hospital for checks. I've raised my concerns with them but they have brushed it of

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 09/04/2019 21:39

In order to be referred, you have to have been trying for more than 12 months. You haven't. There's absolutely no sign that there's anything wrong - it took us three years to conceive for no particular reason.

SoyDora · 09/04/2019 21:39

They won’t refer you for checks when you’ve only been trying for 6 months.

JustHereForThePooStoriesFella · 09/04/2019 21:43

What age are you, OP?

Loopytiles · 09/04/2019 21:46

OMG Run for the hills!

PurpleDaisies · 09/04/2019 21:48

I've raised my concerns with them but they have brushed it off

Because you haven’t been trying long enough. There’s absolutely no need to get referred yet.

This really shouldn’t be on the infertility board.

You should post about your relationship on the relationships board. Lots of red flags that getting pregnant and “providing him with a baby” won’t just fix.

titchy · 09/04/2019 21:49

Jesus you're only 21. Forget the baby, travel, work, party, live FFS! You're way too young! Love yourself. A baby won't give you love, or mean you get to keep your man.

PurpleDaisies · 09/04/2019 21:49

II know it hasn't been long but I have been sexually active for 6 years and haven't fallen pregnant.*

Presumably using contraception?

ellesbellesxxx · 09/04/2019 21:52

I mean this gently but there are people on here who have tried for years to get pregnant.... my fertility consultant said it’s perfectly to take up to a couple of years to conceive. You are still in very early days.. gosh I think when it was 5/6months for us we were still merrily having fun with it! Give yourself six months before you even think about going back to the doctor, maybe even a year and just see what happens.

Original poster
tjsyourgirl · 09/04/2019 21:56

I've stated I didn't know where else to post this. I understand it hasn't been long for us to be trying. I understand a baby isn't everything and it won't fix anything. Morning needs fixing. This is the way I feel. I feel as though I won't be able to conceive.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 09/04/2019 21:57

No idea why you want to have a child a) so young, b) wuth this man. Don’t you have anything else going for you in life?
So will you always have to do what he wants you to do? What about the child? Same for them? They wonmt thank you.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 09/04/2019 21:57

Think about and plan to please yourself during your early 20s - not anyone else. The rest will fall into place at the right time. You don’t sound like you are in the right place to be doing all this right now.

MNHQ
LilyMumsnet · 09/04/2019 21:59

We're going to move this over to trying to conceive now but OP, if you'd like it in relationships instead, just let us know. Flowers

Raggerty54 · 09/04/2019 22:02

From the way you’re speaking, it sounds like he’s emotionally abusive. He’s angry with you because you’re not pregnant? Something that is completely outside of your control and probably upsetting for you. He’s making you feel so uncomfortable and putting you under so much pressure that the stress is making sex hurt your stomach, and he still wants to try for a baby?

TheInvestigator · 09/04/2019 22:02

A man who behaved like this because you're not pregnant after just a few months is not a man who will support you through thick and thin for the next 60 years.

Really sit down and think about this. You're into 21. I was 21 when I got pregnant with my first so I'm not judging that, but my circumstances were very very different by the sounds of it. And my relationship still didn't last. If he's shown any of those bad signs before the kids, then my life would be very different right now.

Don't have a kid at 21 when you're unmarried and he treats you like this. He also already has a kid who I assume he only sees part time? Do you want to be the next one to have his kid who he sees part time?

GrumpySprout · 09/04/2019 22:05

Try the natural cycles app. It will take a few months to adjust to your cycle but will help you to pin point your ovulation, this is done through your body temperature.

You can then confirm with ovulation tests.

I was using this app to try NOT to conceive and it very accurately pin pointed my ovulation.

Original poster
tjsyourgirl · 09/04/2019 22:07

We have his child from Thursday to Sunday, we're trying to get him full time. He asked his son and he wants another child as with his first the mother never let him do anything with him. His child now depends on his mother and his mother only.

OP posts: