Like talking to a brick wall

[Juniperb123]

Tried having the when are you ready for a baby chat a few months ago and hit a brick wall with shrugs and "I dunno" I've been with my partner for 7 years now. I tried to have the conversation with him in light hearted ways and in a serious sit down and talk like actual adults but I never seem to get an answer. I am 28 and have arthritis and currently doing fine but I know ill need to decide to have a child sooner rather than later, I don't think my joints are going to cope well with pregnancy in another 7 years time. I'm currently on cerazette and tried to have the conversation about coming off the pill and switching to condoms, so that my body would go back to normal for when the time is right for us to ttc, which led to another round of "I dunno" and shrugging... Feeling a bit down about it all, one minute he say things like "when we have children it'll look this this, or act like that" and the next minute it's like he won't even entertain the idea that in 12 months time we might revisit the "when do you want to have a baby conversation" any ideas?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

if he gave me a reason I could work with it, but he doesn't

That's the point. He doesn't want to work on this. And your clock is running down so you need to make a decision about how long you're willing to wait.

[Preggosaurus9]

Call him out on it.

"Need more time to think? You've had 2 years."

Living in your house, you're the breadwinner, he hasn't proposed and you're justifying his lack of committment with wanting to save money... your money! .. What is so great about this guy?

I'd be binning him off tbh. He sounds like a manchild.

[Cherim90]

I'd be telling him if he can't tell you what he wants or doesn't want or might want in the near future then why are you wasting your time? He needs to be an adult and actually talk to you 😕

[Shortandsweet96]

OP, I think people are jumping the gun way too fast here.

It's your relationship, my OH didn't have a reason, he just couldn't tell me why and now we've been trying 7 months, I still never found out a reason behind wanting to wait. I think it's just cold feet.

Dont put drastic thoughts in your head about your relationship at the hands of strangers on mumsnet.

I know when you want to ask questions or talk it through it feels like your pushing them into a decision they dont want, but try asking when he will be ready, instead of why isn't he ready now.

I explained to my DP when he said he would be ready in the new year (it was 2 months away' what's going to change between now and then? What's going to make you so ready then? But sure enough new year came around and hes set and ready and happy to be trying. Men are strange.

You know him better than us, go with your gut instinct.

[Juniperb123]

Update,
Stopped pill 1st april, he said he would rather me stay on it but didn't argue about it. Now using condoms. He seems more interested in spending time with my little niece lately , so hoping things are looking up and he might consider ttc soonish. Hoping the cute parts of babysitting will outway the gross dirty nappy/crying etc and not actually make him want to wait longer. Haven't raised the conversation again as I don't want to be pushy, can anyone think of any subtle ways of bringing up the conversation again, just hate to feel like I'm nagging