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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

To wonder, to whinge, and to whine.

49 replies

Shortandsweet96 · 10/03/2019 16:35

To wonder, how did my SIL get pregnant both times on the first go, second pregnancy they only managed to DTD once that month!

To whinge, about how much I bloody hate all the waiting between ttc phases eg. The wait between your period ending and your fertile window, this is literally the worst. Also the TWW turns me crazy, irritable and hungry, like a pregnant lady, only to end up disappointed every month.

To whine, about all the people who announce their pregnancy on Facebook, saying it was an accident, was on the pill, condom broke once. HOW?! I've been actively trying to get up the duff for 6 months, I'm using OPKS, conceptions vitamins, tracking cervical mucus and positive thoughts and I still cant do it!

I spend 30 minutes after dtd every other night, with my arse in the air, myth ir not, hoping the gravity will do me some favours.

How ate some people just so lucky Sad

Anyone else want to moan with me?

OP posts:
Mrs71 · 10/03/2019 16:59

Yes please, I’m ttc my first baby this was cycle 6 for me also and AF showed up for me again 3 days late. I try to keep my spirits up and try to not let it bother me but the reality of it is that it’s taking over my life it’s all I ever think about. Every month I think this is my month and AF shows up again. I know 6 cycles isn’t that long but I really thought it would happen straight away! (Stupid I know). My SIL also has a 3 year old and a 9 month old, she conceived the one and only time she dtd! Some people are just so lucky. xx

todaywasafairytale · 10/03/2019 17:02

This!! I completely empathise with you, currently on our 8th cycle. TTC is such a rollercoaster.

MrsRLM · 10/03/2019 17:07

Yep! My sister got pregnant twice, accidentally, on the pill Envy

Original poster
Shortandsweet96 · 10/03/2019 17:17

And people who say " dont think about it, they say if you think about it, it wont happen!"

Yeah that's great but that's like forgetting you way to the fridge when you hungry. Impossible!

OP posts:
StarlightIntheNight · 10/03/2019 20:35

Probably not what you want to hear, but sometimes it really is just luck! No rhyme or reason why it happens so fast and then could take several months. Some people have fertility issues. But for example, the first two times we tried, we literally dtd once that month and it happened (for dd and ds - they are 20 months apart). Now we want a third and we have been trying on and off - but at least 6 cycles we did try and nothing! The two week wait is frustrating, as is body playing tricks etc. My best friend took two years to get pregnant, then she finally succeeded, just as she was gearing up for IVF. She went on to have a second 18 months apart and then twins...so she went from thinking she would never have kids to now having 4!!!

And shortandsweet96. That saying is so annoying...but so true. My first two times I did not think about it at all. Seriously, because I knew that it can be difficult to get pregnant and for some reason I thought it would definitely take a few months...so we dtd once...then I forgot about it. I was so sure that I was going to get my period that when I went on holiday, my first stop was to the store to buy some pads, as I knew my period was coming the next day and wanted to have supply ready....until it didn't come....and I was still in denial. I thought travel must have messed my cycle a bit. It was not until a week later I tested and saw I was actually pregnant. Now fast forward to third attempt...for some reason this time around I have been counting the days in the two weeks waits...driving myself nuts with symptom spotting etc...and getting so annoyed when spotting begins and I know my period is starting.

TTC can be so frustrating. If you feel its taking too long...see your GP and try to get the ball rolling on getting tests done. Once my friend sorted out her issue...she went from not being able to get pregnant (two years of trying) to getting pregnant within two months each time she tried. Problem is, sometimes doctors can not figure out what it is causing the issue.

bunhead34 · 10/03/2019 21:26

Saaaame!
I'm on cycle 9 and so fed up.

I've that story, either someone I know, or a friend of someone I know etc 'omg I stopped the pill one day and the next day I was pregnant!'
And they are usually annoyed because they thought they would have more time! 🤪

Willowjasmine · 10/03/2019 21:31

Yes to all of the above. Cycle 13 and counting... some people are just really lucky I guess!

veeboo · 10/03/2019 21:50

Yes! Been trying to conceive for a year. DP has ED and I'm currently having tests. helpful friend told me to make sure I put my legs in the air after sex...because that's why none of us are pregnant.

WildFlower2019 · 10/03/2019 21:51

Arghhhh yes to everything .

Haveacupofcoffee · 11/03/2019 08:59

Barring fertility issues, there’s only a 20% chance of becoming pregnant each cycle. After 35 it drops to 10%. It really is just luck, and making sure there’s a supply of sperm waiting for the egg when it’s released. I read somewhere (I’ll try and find it) that although the egg is ‘alive’ for 24 hours, it needs to be fertilised within 6 hours for there to be a chance of it implanting successfully.

Are you tracking your bbt to confirm ovulation? Opks only show that you might ovulate, not that it’s definitely happened.

Original poster
Shortandsweet96 · 11/03/2019 12:21

I dont track my body temperature. Mostly because in the laziest sod going so the chances of me remembering and/or having enough time to record my temp when I wake up is impossible for me.

Aw, in a way, I'm glad I'm not the only moany un-pregnant lady.
I told my SIL when we were trying as when I was late for AF she told me she had just got a positive test so we were excited to have similar aged children that can grow up together.
Now I keep getting the 'are you pregnant yet' question at every opportunity.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shortandsweet96 · 11/03/2019 12:23

Another thing.. possibly the worst.

When your put somewhere or at a party with other people, and a couple of who know your ttc. And they all seem to do this..

You decide not to drink - raises eyebrows and looks to belly.

You've given up smoking - raises eyebrows and looks to belly.

You decided you wanted cheddar on your cracker instead of fucking brie - raises eyebrows and looks to belly.

Just piss off.

OP posts:
FoggyDay58 · 11/03/2019 12:26

I'm 100% sure most people lie and say they fell pregnant first time/accidentally/while on contraception when they've actually been trying a few months. There's so much shame attached to having to make an effort to become pregnant, and indeed failing to when you want to - of course there shouldn't be any shame at all, but people like to make out they're super fertile. I have so much empathy with your situation OP - it's such a difficult place to be in. Flowers

veeboo · 11/03/2019 13:29

OP I agree completely it's so painful. One of my friends even made me try her drink to see if my not drinking was due to me being pregnant. I've had to tell friends to stop doig it, that I'm making lifestyle changes and when there's something to be excited about I'll tell them.

juneybean · 11/03/2019 14:09

Cycle 25/26 here lost count and people have stopped asking if we're going to have kids ha.

Original poster
Shortandsweet96 · 12/03/2019 01:09

@juneybean oh wow, you're on a whole other level! I cant imagine how it makes you feel! I'm only on cycle 6 and I'm already so frustrated that it hasn't happened yet! Did you and OH go for tests at the 12 month mark?

During sex education I was pretty much lead to believe if you even breathe on a boy you will get pregnant. I think young people should be taught realistically. I think they should teach that healthy couples can take up to 12 months to conceive, andvthat there us a 20% chance you may fall pregnant every month, but only if you ovulate ect.

I has absolutely no clue before ttc half of the things I know about my body and how it works now!

OP posts:
juneybean · 12/03/2019 09:28

@Shortandsweet96 yeah I've got low AMH so although I ovulate I am running out of time. We aren't entitled to NHS help either (nor can afford IVF!). So will keep trying then think about next steps :/

Haveacupofcoffee · 12/03/2019 09:47

I always say that I fell pregnant quickly - it took 7 cycles but that is still quick! I think anything under a year counts as lucky

showmethegin · 12/03/2019 10:15

I totally know how you feel. Cycle 6 too, age 30. No one tells you what a slog it is! I thought I was dealing with it ok until I watched Marley and me the other day and screamed 'ONCE! THEY DID IT ONCE AND GOT PREGNANT!' at the TV. DP a bit Hmm

bunhead34 · 12/03/2019 11:22

I've sort of switched myself off from thinking about it. (Although thoughts creep in a bit!)

And decided to stop putting my life of hold in-case I get pregnant!

Off to buy a slinky dress for a wedding in June!!
And book some holidays!!

twinkle999 · 12/03/2019 13:11

I am 40 and it doesn’t seem to be happening for me either. Got married 6 months ago and have been trying since then.

Feel the odds are stacked against us!

Stupid to have left it so late but didn’t meet my DH until I was 36 and then we were dating and getting to know each other etc etc.

Have stopped putting other stuff on hold and an booking holidays etc and do feel that is the best approach.

Lammoshay · 12/03/2019 13:25

Today can just fuck right off!
Faint line few days ago on Lloyd’s test and then bam AF shows her rancid face this morning! Gutted 😢

twinkle999 · 12/03/2019 14:05

That sucks.

Maybe try not to test until you actually are late?

Original poster
Shortandsweet96 · 12/03/2019 18:29

@lammoshay.

Was it an lloyd early detection test? I've had faint lines on those and AF turned up. Horrible tests!

OP posts:
Supergrassyknoll · 12/03/2019 18:34

Some people are just very fertile I think; I am. I've fallen pregnant almost every time I've had unprotected sex however I've also then had recurrent miscarriages and a stillbirth because I have a rare blood disorder so swings and roundabouts. It's genetics which dictate things as far as I'm concerned so much of the time with health particularly female reproductive issues.

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