TTC after pregnancy loss - tread 28 - Bfp will be coming

[Lilimum6]

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Here's the new thread. This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle- this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Welcome to any new ladies and sorry for your loss.

Let's have a roll call ladies

[Lilimum6]

@InDreamland hi hun so sorry your appointment wasn't a positive as you'd like. Remind me what is AMH again?

[frillyfarmer]

My GP went through my bloods with me at an appointment this evening so -

29/01 -408 (not 4800 originally told on phone)
31/01 - 650
05/02 - 1050

So I'm definitely pregnant, for now. The issue is determining whether it's a new pregnancy or an ectopic. They've scanned my tubes and they're clear so that's good, but I'm still spotting which is worrying.

I've basically just got to sit tight and either go back into EPU if I get any more worrying symptoms or wait for my scan next week and see whether they can see anything then.

I'm swinging between optimism and being miserable.

Going to catch up on everyone else's posts now! X

[InDreamland]

Thanks @Lilimum6. It's testing for egg reserves - given my age.

I'm trying to process everything today. Feel like I've spent the past 6.5 months feeling like and believing the mc's were my fault and also the 5 years TTC before the first pregnancy were all my fault, like there must be something wrong with me. DH refused to take any responsibility, moaned about the mens pregnacare when I asked him to take them, refused to cut down on alcohol and basically said nothing wrong with him. The semen test he had a few years ago showed it was just within the normal range but on the lower end so I wanted to do everything to maximise our chances but he was adamant it meant he was fine and didn't need to do anything which has made me feel like the past (almost) 6 years and the 2 mc's have been all my fault and that he also was secretly blaming my body. That's why I went into the consultation today basically adamant I wanted NK cells testing but consultant said it is so rare, plus there's little evidence to support claims of testing for it and then treatment if found that I was being talked out of it. I need to try and process all this in my head. Sorry if I'm rambling. I just don't know what to think or feel anymore. Was also told that given how long we've been infertile (despite the 2 mc's last year - it's still infertility because there's been no live birth apparently) that IVF is really the only think that would be suggested.

[frillyfarmer]

@InDreamland I'm sorry you've also had a rough day. Has your DH spoken to you about it or is he doing the typical male "silent sulk"?

[InDreamland]

Thanks @frillyfarmer. We've kinda spoken about it but he's just making excuses and saying he was told his drinking (a whole bottle of wine to himself 2 nights per week - sometimes followed by beer/whisky) is fine and his semen test before was ok so he didn't have to change anything. He just doesn't get it. He's cannot seem to understand that by his refusal to take any responsibility, like a team effort to help improve our chances that I felt like it was all being put on me and all he had to do was DTD and that was is contribution to the TTC effort and so basically all the failure has been my fault. I could see the semen analysis result today got to him but he's still not seeing the impact it's had on my mentally over the years and totally blaming myself for infertility and the 2 mc's.

[Lilimum6]

@InDreamland oh hun I'm so sorry you had had such a crappy time of it. Hopefully you can talk with DH about this now and maybe ivf will be a blessing and your rainbow 🌈 baby very soon. Does the consultant think your age is a consern (I can't remember your age I'm sorry)

[InDreamland]

Thanks @Lilimum6, I'll be 39 next month. Yes, age isn't on my side. Sadly IVF just isn't for me - I'm a practising R.C. but even if I wasn't I don't think I could go through it. Wish it was something I could do, I envy those who do, but I just can't.

[Laney79]

@Lilimum6 I've already spent £59 on thyroid antibody tests via medichecks. I'm hoping to have a full thrombophilia screen including tests for factor v Leiden protein S and C, and various other blood clotting tests. It'll also repeat the lupus and anticardiolipid tests. Basically that combined with the tests I've had done already by the gp/hospital should rule out all the known thrombophilia issues and thyroid issues. I'm not diabetic either so that is another one "marked off" I just know if I have a third mc and they then test me and discover it was treatable I'll never forgive myself. It's a lot of money but £300 for peace of mind is worth it for me.

@InDreamland so sorry lovely, sounds really tough. Hopefully your hubby just needs time to process? Hugs.

@strawberrye good luck for tomorrow!

[Lilimum6]

@Laney79 I need your gp mine wouldn't do any of that even if I begged
@InDreamland ill keep my fingers crossed 🤞 that you are blessed instead hun it's happened before it can happen again xx

[Pop1234]

@Lilimum6 thank you. This seems like a very supportive thread, fingers crossed we all have happy endings. Where abouts are you in your cycle?

[InDreamland]

@Laney79 @Lilimum6 thank you.

@Laney79 sounds like you're doing something similar to me, paying for private tests before getting pregnant again and trying to find out if there's anything you can do to help prevent a 3rd mc.

[Lilimum6]

@Pop1234 tbh I'm not sure I had a erpc on 29th January so if I count that as cd1 I'm now Cd8 but usually ovulate on CD 10 but according to my cb fertility monitor I'm no where near ovulation. So it's probably not going to snap back anytime soon

[Laney79]

Yeah @InDreamland I think we are. At my age I just want to know I've done all I can to stop it happening a third time. As I said I also need it for my peace of mind. I can't do much about genetics/chromosomes but if it's clotting or autoimmune then I can try and do something about that. In terms of your consultation yesterday-on the IVF front remember it was a private consultation so as much as I hate to say it I guess they are more likely to recommend ivf as you'd be paying for it? I know Tommy's are doing a trial looking at sorry and it's relationship with MC -might be worth a look? Details on their website.

@Lilimum6 my GP and consultant have been really good with me to be fair. The issue is that there's only certain ones they can do before the lab will query (I guess because of money/nice guidance as I haven't lost three).

I asked Tommy's for a list of all the basic tests their Coventry clinic does as standard for anyone being referred to them, so I'm ticking those off. As well as the referal for the private tests I'm asking my gp to retest my vitamin D. Despite taking a supplement my levels were only just in normal range at Christmas, and the latest research suggests a higher level helps prevent mc. So I've been taking an extra supplement to see if that helps. Oh and AMH = anti mullerian hormone...I think it's a test for ovarian reserve (how many eggs you have, and some say can help indicate quality although some specialists say not!)

CD13 and 1dpo for me. Let the TWW craziness begin!

[Pop1234]

@Lilimum6 after both of my ERPC I didn't ovulate until my first cycle. But both times I had ERPC, my cycle returned exactly 27 days after the operation - quite freaky really isn't it?

[Pop1234]

@Laney79 I hope you don't mind me bursting in but I just saw your reply to someone about vitamin D. I had mine tested as it came back low but not really low and I've had 3 miscarriages in 6 months. Is there some research to suggest this could have an impact on miscarriage? I did do some research but couldn't find much about it x

[Lilimum6]

@Laney79 I'm with @Pop1234 is this a thing I've been taking Vitamin D since October because I swapped to a cheaper conseption vitamin and it didn't have vit d and some other things the pregnacare one did. How much vitamin d should we be getting. And how much is to low

[Laney79]

Arghh I just did a huge reply and lost it...bear with!

[Laney79]

Ok this is odd I just did the reply again and it said success but hasn't posted it? Can you see it @Lilimum6?

[Laney79]

@Lilimum6 and @Pop1234 ok-here's my thought process...do bear in mind this is just from my own research though and I'd check any changes you want to make past your dr first-your levels may be fine or there may be a reason you shouldn't increase your intake.

The link between vitamin D and miscarriage seems pretty solid, hence why it's recommended we all take a supplement of 10ug a day alongside folic acid. Personally I take pregnacare which includes 15ug if vitamin D

After my MMC's I was worried my levels could be low (no reason, just looking for a possible answer as to why they happened) so I asked my GP to test me. It came back as 58.7nmol/l or 23.6ng/ml. Although that is technically within NHS range (the range = above 50nmol/l) I thought it seemed a little low considering I was already on a supplement, so I did some research.

Some recent research suggests a higher level of vitamin D could help pregnancy and reduce miscarriage...see these links...

[Laney79]

www.independent.co.uk/news/health/miscarriage-causes-vitamin-d-pregnancy-birth-ivf-baby-a8376546.html

And

www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/insufficient-vitamin-d-linked-miscarriage-among-women-prior-pregnancy-loss

So looking at those i thought my levels prob needed to be higher. But trying to find an agreed level is hard...for instance this is from a nice guidance document on vitamin D:

Vitamin D requirements
There is consensus that levels below 25nmol/L (10ng/ml) qualify as ‘deficient’, but beyond this there is currently no standard definition of ‘optimal’ 25(OH)D levels. Some sources suggest that levels above 50nmol/L are ‘sufficient’, while 70–80nmol/L (28-32ng/ml) is ‘optimal’.

So that combined with the research I've decided I want my levels to be more like 75nmol/l minimum. So I've upped my vitamin D to 25ug total (so an extra 10ug a day which my GP said is ok) and I'll get my levels checked again in a couple of months which the GP said she's happy to do.

It may make no difference at all, but at least it feels like I'm doing something.

Does that make sense?

[Laney79]

@Lilimum6 and @Pop1234 sorry-had to split it into two! Read the oldest first!!!

[Pop1234]

@Laney79 thanks Laney this is really interesting. I'm at work at the minute but when I have a minute I'm going to read the links you've posted. I had my levels checked 3 weeks after my last miscarriage at Christmas and my level was 34. So would you say that is considered quite low? The doctors just told me to eat more oily fish so not over helpful really.

[Laney79]

@Pop1234 depends if it was 34nmols/l or 34ng/ml... if it's nmols I'd say it's low as it's below the "sufficient" range that was shown on my results print out. Xx

[Lilimum6]

@Laney79 thanks for that hun it's really interesting info. I hope my levels are good then as my suppliment is 25mg or is this too much

[Laney79]

@Lilimum6 I'm now taking 25ug and my GP said that was ok when I saw her today and explained why. Obv I guess it depends on each individual but I'm happy to take that level.

GP was good this morning. She's going to do the vitamin d retest in a couple of months so I have the form for that, and she's agreed to test me for coeliac antibodies which was on my list. She's also doing me a referal letter for my private tests, so hopefully I'll get that over the few days and I can get those tests done. Daft really as I know the likelihood is they'll show nothing but I feel so much better that I'm doing something.