Anyone else debating whether to TTC?

[erja]

Have been going back and forth on a decision for 6 months and driving myself mad on it!

Anyone else in the same boat, in the deciding whether it's the right time phase?

Anyone?

I was! Considering putting it off to fit in with work etc but now we've decided to go for it. What's making you wait?

I'm not sure there is such a thing of "the right time" 😬

@Sleepyquest got a (fairly) new job and wanted to make more of an impact before maternity, our home is a bit small but it's manageable and DP is still studying so not bringing in as much income right now. All manageable I suppose but would make things a struggle but we've put it off for 6 months already!

@wannabebump I'm starting to think that!

@erja I have been at my job 2 months, was going to wait until May but have always let work/exams/money dictate my life!! Not anymore
If you are ready, go for it. Could take a few months anyway?

@Sleepyquest I've been at my job for 5 weeks! I was a SAHM to a toddler prior to that, I didn't expect such a good job opportunity to come up. I'm thinking about going for it anyway - but probably February!!! I'm still so unsure, it's such a huge decision!

Yes I am!
It's such a tough decision isn't it? I agree in that there's probably never a 'right time'. Also you never know how long it'll take and that's what stresses me.
I'm debating number two and have found it much harder to decide than no 1!

@erja only you know if it's right if you are unsure, maybe you should wait!

@fairybeagle my DC1 was unplanned which was much easier than this decision
I've gone back and forth for 6 months!!! I'll probably go back and forth a few more times before I decide it's 100% time too!!

We toyed with the idea on and off for around the past 6 months too! Like you, my job situation has recently changed and there's a long list of reasons that make me say we should wait another 6 months. That being said, there's also a list of reasons why we should/could start trying now.. so we have!
I've always been told there's never a right time/you'll never be able to afford it and essentially only you know if it's right or not. A big deciding factor was also that it might not happen quickly or easily and that needed to be taken into account and that's what cemented it for me. Good luck whatever you decide!

@erja haha well decision made with the first
I knew I really wanted a baby so was easy decision for me with no 1.

With the no.2 I am constantly weighing up pros and cons and trying to figure when's the 'best time'.

How old is your first?

PP above, maybe you're right. Maybe if I'm not certain then it's not quite the right time..but what it I'm never certain

@fairybeagle my DS will be 2 in about 6 weeks! I also worry about never being ready - I'm completely the person to find reasons to not do scary stuff even when the timing is completely right, I could work myself up and put it off again!!

I think your right there is never a right time always as something gets in the way! I agree it could take months too. I’ve always waited because wanted to keep progressing my career. However I now feel guilty that I left it too long and trying to conceive seems to be taking forever but I think my age has a part to play and that I should have had them younger. I would say if your fairly relaxed about it then see what happens

We discussed this for about 6 months then started TTC last month!

We came to the conclusion when you factor in work and just life in general there is no ‘right/perfect’ time and if we waited for one we would never have children. So we went for it.

First month didn’t work out so fingers crossed this month. We aren’t in a rush so other than DTD every couple of days and using an ovulation calendar atm we are leaving things down to Mother Nature.

Good luck with your decision OP!

@OnlyLittleMissOrganised thank you! Good luck with TTC!!!! X

@erja not a problem.

Thank you! We are just enjoying DTD atm! We found my husband had issues with sex but when we stopped using the condom it worked again! So yay!

Even if you start now you might not catch first time and that gives you more time in your job then too. 🙂

Sometimes when I think about TTC I get a wave of excitement and fuzziness and like it'd be all my dreams come true.

Other times when I think about it, I feel like I'm mad for even considering it, like I'd be absolutely petrified, and wouldn't be able to cope with 2 children!

Is this normal? 😂

@OnlyLittleMissOrganised fingers crossed for you!! We are yet to have our first go yet, wondering how long it'll all take. Also hate that I cannot really talk to any friends about it, it all feels so secretive!

@erja seems like you definitely want another little one!

@sleepyquest it does I agree. You are welcome to message me! Are you TTC your first?

@OnlyLittleMissOrganised yes first one! For you too? Oh yeh that would be nice! How do I do that? Haha

@sleepyquest yes first one!

If you are on the mobile click the three little dots at the bottom of one of my posts and then click PM. On the website I think there is a send message option next to the report option. Not done it before but assuming that's the way!

@erja I am feeling EXACTLY the same! One minute I'm all for starting trying and think about that tiny newborn and all the lovely things that come with a second and then the next minute I'm terrified!
Thinking how would I handle two young kids? Would my oldest adjust? Would it be unfair on him this close together? Thinking about stuff like taking them both out or swimming etc and stuff I couldn't do anymore!
Also, two waking in the night.

Then I think does this mean I'm not ready or will I always feel this way? 😩

@fairybeagle Yes! Thank god I'm not the only one! I woke up yesterday morning literally longing for a second, thinking of how much I'd grow as a mum, thinking about the bond between siblings and that little newborn stage again, and being so positive about how it'd all work out with work and childcare and stuff.

This morning I've woke up completely panicked again, about how little I'd sleep, about how I'd cope going back after 6 months of maternity, about childbirth and how our relationship would cope with 2 children and financial pressures.

I have no idea what to do!
DP wants to TTC next month but not if I'm not ready!

@erja yep relate so strongly! I suppose if you always concentrated on the negatives and the difficulties then we'd never do anything!
But then again it's such a big, big commitment!

However today I say a video on Instagram of two little twins seeing their dad after he got back from a business trip and they were so happy and excited and ran to him and it made me so broody for another!

Weirdly I even think about three but know it's a total no on that from DH 🤣

We talked again and DH thinks he'd like to try in a few months but now I want to start now!!

I just wish I knew how long it'd take!