Anyone else debating whether to TTC?

[erja]

Have been going back and forth on a decision for 6 months and driving myself mad on it!

Anyone else in the same boat, in the deciding whether it's the right time phase?

Hello ladies can I join the chat? I have a 15mo and ham flip flopping between string urges to have another and sheer panic (financial) every time DH mentions it. I went back to work end of October in a new job so havent been there long. Its really flexible part time so dont want to blow it.
But neither of us want a huge age gap between babies.
I think we may try from Feb. BUT. My DH is worried about ending up with a Christmas baby 😒 so we may end up waiting until April. Which strangely makes me grumpy today!

Hi @JustAboutGettingBy welcome!
I think our situations are very similar with the main panic being financial, a new job, and not wanting a big age gap!

We decided to try from Feb, but I've had a financial problem pop up that's going to set us back, so unless we find a way to sort it within the month, it's also probably going to be April for us (to try and avoid a Christmas baby as well!)

@erja hey Erja I'm in the same position too! Literally swing from this intense broodiness and excitement at the idea of having a second to massive reservations about my ability to cope with two and the associated stuff like less money, time and a messy house.

We said we'd ttc this month but we've already pushed that back to summer, which does make more sense for us, I kind of wish it would happen by surprise before then just to make the decision for us.

@DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews welcome to the thread! It's such a hard decision.
I'm still undecided whether to go ahead with February or to wait until April/May now the financial issues have cropped up. You just can't plan anything precisely can you?!

We want to miss Christmas too! Not sure whether to wait until June now as then have spring/summer baby. Can I ask what the age gaps are. My little one is 2 and half now so means at least 3 year gap between number one and number two. We feel we are definitely ready for another one now there is 3 year gap. I was the same wanting them close together but career progression seems to have got in the way. Kind of regretting it as number one happened straight away but number two not had luck yet conceiving. On 3rd cycle.

Its so tough. My DH has a valid point to wait but then every month comes around (AF came this morning) and I am SO disappointed. We arent trying and are using condoms but clearly my disappointment means I want one now and its very unlikely to happen this way!. I know deep down I would be worried about telling my boss so soon that I will be going off again too. I really wanted to be off on mat leave this Christmas though....so maybe I want a January baby? But I have a winter baby already and a summer one sounds more appealing but that puts me back to this summer......🙈 and I am so so naively thinking that it will happen the first time we try of course!!

I'm dithering too.
Think I will reconsider towards end of year.

I'd rather wait but I'm not getting any younger

@Explorers10 yeah, I think it's quite common to try and miss Christmas. I also debated waiting until June-August for a summer baby but settled that it's too far away (although I have been going back and forth on the decision for 6 months already so could well take that long!)
My DS will be 2 in March so looking at a 2.5-3 year gap.

@JustAboutGettingBy AF came for me this morning too and I've starting taking the pill to feel like I have a bit of control and it's more official to stop contraception and TTC. All contraception has had negative effects on me so I've gone back on with the mindset that it'll only be a couple of months max before we TTC.

My son is 2 so if we wait until summer we're looking at around a 3.5 year age gap. My consultant said to try and plan the next one before I'm 35 due to complications with my first, so have that hanging over my head also.

Reasons for waiting now (or have I just used as an excuse because of cold feet?!) are that the free nursery hours would've kicked in then for the eldest plus avoids Christmas and his birthday.

@JustAboutGettingBy are you me? I also have a 15 month old. Back at work October, part time job. DH wants to wait for June! (Might convince April) to avoid Christmas baby and I am strangely upset/annoyed about the wait even though I wasn't sure!!

I think the idea that it might take a while so want to get on with it is the main thing. DH seems to think it'll happen straight away!

I like that a few of us are looking to start TTC April-June! We could have another thread for then

@fairybeagle great idea I think June's a good time for us to start. Ultimately short term I'm scared but long term deep down I do want another. Will be great to have a little gaggle of us going for it!!

@erja I've been going backwards and forwards on the idea for ages. I've just started a new job too but I'm thinking I'll never look back and say I wish I never had a child but there's a huge chance I'd look back and say I wish I'd had another x

There’s not necessarily a “right time” in my opinion. It took us 7 months to conceive our daughter. As each month went by with a negative result, I found myself wondering why I hadn’t started ttc earlier. Needless to say I was thrilled when I got a positive result. Go for it.

We've recently started trying for our 2nd. We took a while thinking about it and originally started trying around March last year with no luck. Then in September I got a new job so we stopped. We again in December and are on month 2. We talked a lot about me being in a new job and feeling bad ttc so soon after starting, but realised that we didn't get anywhere in 7 months last year so why put it off. I just wanted to miss a summer baby so I can have a full school holiday off with dd.
It's funny hearing people say about missing Christmas. We conceived mid April with dd and she was due Jan 10th, she made her appearance on Xmas Eve.

@Frizzy1986 that's an excellent point, you just can't plan really, can you?! There's no guarantee about missing a Christmas baby sometimes!

How's everyone getting on?
I've been unbelievably broody today, just looking longingly at DP and DS playing and cuddling together and desperate for a growing family!!!

I’m due to ovulate this week so going to just see what happens. Very broody too! Keep seeing pregnant women & wishing that me!

@Explorers10 I'm the same! One of my closest friends is 3 months off giving birth now and I'm so jealous every time I hear about her baby buys, baby name ideas and the bump pictures I miss it!

My 2 best friends are both pg one is 13 weeks and the other is about 17 weeks. It's going to be a rough year of ttc whilst enjoying their journeys as well.

There is never a right time. There is always something. A wedding a holiday etc. But if you know you want kids don’t wait too long. I’m currently debating a third (although we are trying sometimes). Whenever something happens like having to go to hospital w dc2 (first time bc of dog bite, second time he swallowed something)! I get put off. I get worried of having another child to worry about. My first born luckily is more careful. But man is it stressful! When they are sick or get hurt I worry so much .

@Mamabear12 yeah, you are probably right with there never being a right time, and there's always something to put you off the idea just when you think it is the right time too!

Agreed that there's never a right time. What we discussed (which made the decision to push things back a little) was the effects on our first born. He's still quite young (14 months) and I know lots of people have them closer and it all works out fine but we just feel he'd benefit from a little longer with just us and then once baby is (hopefully here) he can verbalise more which might make the transition easier for him..!? 🤷‍♀️