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Conception

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Original poster

Bad due date but older mum so might be last chance

71 replies

Ppt18 · 28/12/2018 06:54

So just found out I’m pregnant. Bit of an accident. Burst condom but I didn’t take morning after as foolishly thought given my age (42) the chances were low.

Anyway now pregnant. Due date 31.8.19.

Not a major problem as in a good settled long term relationship. BUT my daughters birthday is 30th August and I really don’t want two born at the same time as I don’t think it’s fair to daughter.

Baby will have to be c section due to medical issues. Given that and my age what are the chances they may allow an earlier delivery just by a week or so?

Totally stupid or possible?

OP posts:

Purplemushroom · 28/12/2018 08:13

Congratulations! I was in similar situation over the summer. DS1’s birthday was 25/07 and DS2 was due 24/07. When you’re over 40 they advise you not to go over 40 weeks so I was booked in for an induction at 40 weeks. My consultant said it was fine to be induced at 39 weeks instead as I ideally didn’t want to give birth on DS1’s birthday.

The boys have birthdays 4 days apart.

Illfindmywayhome · 28/12/2018 08:39

This isn’t odd at all where I am from? Csections like to be booked from 39w but mother’s are asked to select any available date from that week that they prefer? Also close friend had her child’s csection brought forward to 38w because 39w was Christmas..

Mamabear12 · 28/12/2018 09:36

Planned csection for medical reasons are always done ahead by one week or two! They don’t want to risk you going into labour naturally if you must be a csection as you might end up having a fast birth and missing chance for csection causing problems or emergencies

3boysandabump · 28/12/2018 10:54

@PaulHollywoodsSexGut of course although I've never had a pm so it may take me a while to work out how to find it 🙈

Holidayshopping · 28/12/2018 11:00

Yes no question about going ahead that was more intended to say no chance of termination as may be last chance

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 28/12/2018 11:10

This thread is bonkers

Kintan · 28/12/2018 13:45

OP I wouldn’t stress about them-section date until you’ve at least have your 12 week scan and know all is well. You are getting a hard time on this thread as you’ve mentioned the birthday thing a couple of times!

SoyDora · 28/12/2018 13:51

Yes no question about going ahead that was more intended to say no chance of termination as may be last chance

Surely you can see that the implication of that statement is that if it wasn’t your last chance, there would be a chance of termination?

Anyway my due date has been changed by at least 4 days at the dating scan with all three of my pregnancies. Plus only 5% of babies actually come on their due date.
My due date this time was Boxing Day. Not ideal. Still waiting!

ILoveMaxiBondi · 28/12/2018 13:51

What a weird “issue” and also, presentation/denial of the issue.

What age is DD?

kell2116 · 28/12/2018 14:00

This is the 'Conception' area of the discussion forum, no? Coming here to announce that you have become accidentally pg and find your predicted due date 'unfair' could be interpreted as insensitive to say the least.

Thissameearth · 28/12/2018 14:12

I think c sections used to be done around 38/39 week but that it was tightened up as in general terms it’s better for babies to be in than out for as long as possible. My c section was booked with regard to consultant’s diary for availability after 39th week point was met. C section carried out at 39 plus 5. I was really happy with that. I was out of hospital two days later could have gone home, next day but wanted bf support. So in theory yes it is certainly possible you could get c section from 39 weeks and be home a day later, ahead of your first child’s birthday. I was in my early 30s in example above so the information you quote re earlier induction was not applicable and may mean yours is earlier still if the risk benefit analysis weighs in favour of it.

Dramaqueen14 · 28/12/2018 14:13

I agree with pp it’s is quite insensitive to post this on this forum. Many ladies here are struggling with infertility and pregnancy loss so to come to a forum and see a post that is titled “bad due date” isn’t very nice. I wish you well though think MN should move this to a more appropriate part of the website.

stoplickingthetelly · 28/12/2018 14:16

My planned c section was 5 days before my due date. Yours could be even earlier if there's a medical reason plus your age too. It's very unlikely they would do it on your due date. Really wouldn't worry about dd birthday. It's just 1 day an each child would have their own. In our house dc1 birthday is 2 days before mine then dc2 is 10 days later. It's fine, just takes a bit of forward planning with the finances.

emzw12 · 28/12/2018 14:23

Are you joking? You can't seriously actually care what day your baby is born so long as it's healthy!
My DS1 is 24th April bday - I've been booked for c-Sec for my 2nd baby, originally Sod's law they gave me 24th April but will now be 25/26th April. So only one or two days! I don't care! It's good for joint bday parties and gets the costs out the way once a year!

Thissameearth · 28/12/2018 14:24

Ps o can see why others think this sounds like an odd and trivial concern especially as I spent my pregnancy worrying about miscarriage etc and just hoping upon hope for healthy happy baby BUT now when I think of having a second child I feel guilt that I would be upsetting my first and ruining their life etc. I imagine the birth date is part of that, that it would be seen as a replacement or upstaging of them. I’m sure your child won’t feel that way but i can only imagine the pregnancy guilt I would conjure up in this situation. An unexpected pregnancy must be an absolute rollercoaster and I would try and get through the pregnancy and get a healthy baby and not worry too much about this at all.

SheepyFun · 28/12/2018 14:27

DD needed to be born by planned c-section for medical reasons. 39+0 was on my birthday. I asked (nicely) if there was any possibility she could be delivered on a different day. I had the c-section at 39+1. Ask nicely, and you may well find that there's a little flexibility.

Kittykat93 · 28/12/2018 14:33

I've heard it all now

Op if this baby is truly wanted - and you say it is - then stop focusing on a bloody due date!!

People give birth on Christmas Day - I'm sure some would rather it be another day but I've never heard anyone fret about it when pregnant.

Just enjoy the pregnancy, and when it comes to booking c section just don't choose the date of your daughters birthday. Simple

JustHereForThePooStories · 28/12/2018 14:33

You’re 42 with a complicated medical issue, and presumably haven’t been taking folic acid/pre-natal vitamins given this was an accidental pregnancy?

I hope your biggest worry throughout this pregnancy remains the birthday clash.

The mind boggles.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 28/12/2018 15:45

Hospitals like their planned sections to go ahead nice and calmly on the planned date. (For obvious staffing reasons.) With a mother not in labour. (So that they can push the section back by 5 hours if they get overwhelmed by emergencies.)

So they will plan to deliver at about 39 weeks.

From friends / family who have had planned c-sections they don’t seem to ever by on a Friday / Saturday or Sunday (presumably because they don’t want you in hospital over the weekend when they have less staff) so is they will probably avoid those days.

Being older and with health problems will also push you on the earlier side as well.

And finally - you may find your due date changes at the 12 weeks scan anyway. (One of mine changed by 8 days - everyone thought this was hysterical as I am a mathematician so they teased me I had got my dates mixed up! (I NEVER get my dates mixed up!)

physicskate · 28/12/2018 15:53

What a fucked up thread. Massively insensitive to anyone who's actually ever wanted a baby, to anyone who has struggled or couldn't. Learn to appreciate what you have!!!

barleyreed · 28/12/2018 18:42

I had an EMCS 1st time and planned ELCS 2nd time, the date was booked 3 months before my due date for 39 weeks and they literally got the diary out and we chose a date (within a short range) to suit us! Recovery from ELCS was so much easier, left hospital 24 hours after OP and was waiting ready to go as 24 hours was the minimum, got home and carried baby up the stairs! Best of luck OP x

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