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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Bad due date but older mum so might be last chance

71 replies

Ppt18 · 28/12/2018 06:54

So just found out I’m pregnant. Bit of an accident. Burst condom but I didn’t take morning after as foolishly thought given my age (42) the chances were low.

Anyway now pregnant. Due date 31.8.19.

Not a major problem as in a good settled long term relationship. BUT my daughters birthday is 30th August and I really don’t want two born at the same time as I don’t think it’s fair to daughter.

Baby will have to be c section due to medical issues. Given that and my age what are the chances they may allow an earlier delivery just by a week or so?

Totally stupid or possible?

OP posts:

ApolloandDaphne · 28/12/2018 07:28

In wasn't being nasty. You said clearly in your OP you wanted to avoid a birthday clash. That is quite frankly ridiculous.

AngelinaNeurosurgeon · 28/12/2018 07:28

I read your original post as questioning whether to go ahead with the pregnancy because it would clash with your DD's birthday - Bad due date but older mum so might be last chance
And the body of the post said you were considering an early induction date for that very reason.
Now you're saying you want an induction for health reasons.
You need to be clearer and more consistent about what you actually mean if you want constructive responses.

ViolaLucyofTirol · 28/12/2018 07:30

Op I think you are being a tad dramatic here! Clearly the main issue in your opening post is the birthday issue!

bertielab · 28/12/2018 07:30

If you have medical problems -can I ask what they are? Certain medical problems may bring forward a delivery date by many weeks.

I have had eclampsia with all of mine. My youngest DS was delivered at 37 weeks.

A healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby and a healthy mum are the aim here -due date is irrelevant.

Original poster

Ppt18 · 28/12/2018 07:30

Already accepted that but feel free to tell me again that I should have been clearer.

Yes no question about going ahead that was more intended to say no chance of termination as may be last chance.

OP posts:

Silkei · 28/12/2018 07:31

What choice have you got? Either put up with fairly close birthdays or don’t keep the baby. It’s shocking if you’d abort solely because you don’t like when the baby’s birth date falls!

ParadiseLaundry · 28/12/2018 07:33

Going against what everyone has said here... recently my midwife told me that they are quite flexible for planned c section dates within reason if you don't like a certain date for any reason! Although as others have said I'd choose early September myself.

Original poster

Ppt18 · 28/12/2018 07:33

My concern right now is the birthday issue. I can afford the baby, baby will be loved by two parents in a committed relationship. Birthday issue is the only fly in the ointment. But I’m not so stupid as to think that would wash as a reason for medical hence why I’m trying clarify. Dear god it’s like I’m being cross examined on some American tv show. Going to give up and just piss off in a minute

OP posts:

LEMtheoriginal · 28/12/2018 07:34

So if it wasnt your "last chsnce" you would actually consider terminating because of a due date?

Original poster

Ppt18 · 28/12/2018 07:36

can’t comment on medical as it’s a very rare condition and therefore I think outing. Only 2 people in a billion get this lovely little delight

OP posts:

bibbitybobbityyhat · 28/12/2018 07:36

Do you actually want another child? You describe the pregnancy as an accident and seem weirdly preoccupied by the trivial birthday question. If you have an elcs it will most likely be performed in week 39 barring any other complications.

I have a friend who has the same birthday as his sister ... 1 year apart!

Original poster

Ppt18 · 28/12/2018 07:37

No I didn’t say that did I? 🤔 pretty sure I didn’t. Certainly didn’t mean to

OP posts:

Waitingonasmiley42 · 28/12/2018 07:39

My experience was they wanted to do section anytime after 39 weeks and were keen to do it before due date. They were very flexible with days that week but I choose to wait until due date because I wanted chance to go into labour.

If it's still very early pregnancy then it not worth worrying about at the moment.

Silvercatowner · 28/12/2018 07:39

Birthday issue is the only fly in the ointment

Sometimes Mumsnet baffles me. Actually quite often. How is this an issue??

RLOU30 · 28/12/2018 07:46

The title of this thread and the opening post made me think you were considering termination due to the due date being close to DDs. If that’s not what was intended to be said/implied perhaps try to get it amended.

Mynameisntmaud · 28/12/2018 07:49

I think I know what you're trying to say OP.
Your due date isn't great as it clashes with dd birthday. You will need a
C section. So does anyone know if you have an elec c section, do they tend to do it at 38/39 weeks rather than due date. Therefore happening to avoid the birthday clash.

Correct me if I'm wrong but this is what I got from your post.

So in answer, they don't tend to do elec c section at 40 weeks as the risk of spontaneous labour is high. So you will likely be offered a date around 39 weeks x

KatharinaRosalie · 28/12/2018 07:50

I've always thought planned C-sections are done before the due date. Otherwise isn't there too much of risk you'll go into labor naturally?

My 2 have their birthdays on 29th and 30th of the same month and they love it, by the way. And a friend's DC1 asked that the planned C-sec for DC2 was scheduled for DC1's birthday - so you might be overthinking the matter. Would DD even mind? Maybe she thinks it's the best thing ever?

SoupDragon · 28/12/2018 07:51

My concern right now is the birthday issue

The point is that it shouldn't even be an issue.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 28/12/2018 07:55

There is some flexibility for planned sections, or there was when I was pregnant. Mine was initially pencilled in for my birthday, and I didn’t want the day after either for personal reasons. The hospital were happy to oblige.

pipandposy · 28/12/2018 07:57

Planned sections are at around 39 weeks. However If you've just found out you're pregnant, your due date is likely to change once you have the dating scan. So until then you won't know when 39 weeks will be.

Nineoutoftenducks · 28/12/2018 07:58

I would wait until you have a dating scan as well, that often throws another date into the equation.

Anyway, by the time August gets here you’ll probably be hot bothered and desperate to get the baby out.

How old is your DD? I wouldn’t worry yet.

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 28/12/2018 08:00

Just be careful.
I come from a family of late gestational length (42/43).
DS was born ELCS at 39w as instructed. Struggled to breathe and it was all quite harrowing.
If your maternal history puts you in the opposite camp where they are popped out no probs at 38/39w go for a -10 day request.
If you’re the same as me don’t do it and as a PP said maybe try for early Sept.
it is kinda obvious the birthday thing WILL influence your choice - be honest - but it shouldn’t be the deciding factor (as you say).

This is really down to your maternal history and what the pattern of births in your immediate family is (not a failsafe guide but worth bearing in mind).

@3boysandabump please may I PM you as I am going through some total shit with my hospital at present about my summer baby being sectioned at 39w. They refuse to wait until week 40. Need tips on how to frame the argument x

MidniteScribbler · 28/12/2018 08:01

*my daughters birthday is 30th August and I really don’t want two born at the same time as I don’t think it’s fair to daughter.
due date is not good.
My concern right now is the birthday issue. I can afford the baby, baby will be loved by two parents in a committed relationship. Birthday issue is the only fly in the ointment. *

What part of any of that shows that your biggest issues isn't your due date clashing with your daughter's birthday?

Wotrewelookinat · 28/12/2018 08:03

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I don’t really think the birthday thing should be an an issue. My twins share the same birthday and don’t have a choice about it!! We work around them having individual birthday parties/outings by doing one the weekend before and one the weekend after if they don’t want to share.

KoshaMangsho · 28/12/2018 08:05

Whether you would be induced early or not because of your rare medical problems is something only the obstetrician can answer. 39 weeks is the preferred date. But it also depends on theatre availability, how many emergencies come in etc etc.
Does your medical condition necessitate a C section?
Just being an older mum itself might mean an early induction not a C section. But inductions can take a while.

I am going to be kind and assume that hormones are making the birthday issue seem so important. In the grand scheme it really really is not. It certainly isn’t a ‘fly in the ointment.’

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