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Conception

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Original poster

It’s killing me, I’m broken

34 replies

Cookienut · 12/11/2018 20:39

I have been trying for a baby for 10 months, during this time I’ve been diagnosed with PCOS and recently I was placed on Metformin. The last couple of days I’ve been convinced that I was pregnant. I took a test and it was negative. I know it sounds ridiculous but I can’t stop crying. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I’m so desperate for a baby now that every time I see one I get a lump in my throat. My doctor doesn’t seem to be listening to me when I tell him how depressed and stressed this is making me. I’m at a loss of what to do. I’m on edge. Please help

OP posts:
Original poster
Cookienut · 12/11/2018 20:42

I also haven’t had a period in this time so can’t measure my cycle

OP posts:
Russell19 · 12/11/2018 20:51

I have been in your shoes. I know exactly how it feels. Do you have any stress in your life aside from this? Work etc? You need to strip it all back xx

Original poster
Cookienut · 12/11/2018 20:56

No not any other form of stress. It’s so hard, this is what is making me so stressed. I want a baby so bad it hurts. I recently have had sore boobs, stomach cramps and nausea. I was so convinced I was pregnant. I’m more annoyed at myself for getting carried away and thinking I was. I’m so upset I feel so silly but I’m heartbroken. I was old Metformin as a miracle pill and it’s not working. I feel like nothing ever is until my doctor starts to take me seriously.

OP posts:
peachgreen · 12/11/2018 21:01

Oh Cookie, I feel for you. I've been where you are. We tried for almost two and a half years in the end (with one miscarriage in the middle). Unfortunately nowhere will refer you for any testing until you've been trying for a year. I was referred twice and found out I was pregnant a few days before the appointment both times. I have PCOS too but wasn't allowed Metformin as my BMI was too high.

All anyone can ever say is what worked for them. For me it was reflexology, reducing stress, and having sex at least every two days no matter where I was in my cycle.

The TTC boards are amazing, I found a lot of comfort there. Good luck. Thanks

Russell19 · 12/11/2018 21:04

My doctor actually said to me 'Just drink a bottle of wine and have some sex' I told him I'd already tried that 😂 Have you tried concieve plus lube? Read the Amazon reviews, worth a try for about £10.

My advice would be try the SMEP plan if you haven't already and try the lube. I don't know much about PCOS so excuse me for the bad advice if it isn't relevant. First and foremost look after yourself hun, it's hard but you will get there! Whichever way it may be xx

stellarfox · 12/11/2018 21:09

Have you not had a period since you've started trying? Have you tried cutting out sugar and carbs from your diet and exercising? (Whether you are overweight or not this can make a difference). I would also highly recommend listening to the PCOS Diva podcast - I learnt so much from this. I have PCOS and conceived after 12 months of trying but only one month where I ate really low carb (I never had metformin as hadnt got that far with doctors). I also started taking inositol (research this but you may not need with metformin). There are tons of other natural vitamins you can take also which can help - there will be lots of info on this on the podcast. There is lots of hope for women with PCOS but it normally means you have to make some lifestyle changes so the best thing to do is to educate yourself as much as possible!

stellarfox · 12/11/2018 21:12

Also try Reddit for more PCOS focused forums - PCOS and TTC_PCOS

RollerJed · 12/11/2018 21:13

When we were struggling with dd2 the doc put through a referal after trying for 6 months because of my age. I had 2 mc and the emotions were so extreme, I was so depressed by it all, it's tough.

People will say 10 months isn't long, but it really is when you're living it Flowers

I also got 'at least you have one' which made me seethe as I couldn't grieve my mc because I should just be grateful apparently.

fuzzywuzzy · 12/11/2018 21:18

OP if you’ve not had a period in ten months are you sure you’re ovulating?

Ime when I don’t get periods or they’re very late it’s because I’m not ovulating.

Im so sorry you’re going thro this, I’ve been there too.

I tihnk you need to go back to your doctor and tell them you’ve not had a period in ten months, that sounds like something that needs investigating.

physicskate · 12/11/2018 21:39

Please don't take offence at this - when ttc was killing me I was nearly suicidal. I found a low dose of antidepressants and some counselling sessions made me survive it. Speak to your gp about depression and see what they suggest...

That was the only thing my gp did for the two and a half years we were ttc!! But it did help me. Probably the only reason I'm still here...

Original poster
Cookienut · 12/11/2018 21:40

No I’ve not had a period in the whole time I’ve been trying, we have been actively trying for 10 months and I came of the pill a year ago. I went to the doctors after 6 months of no periods, I had blood tests and a internal scan after this I was diagnosed with PCOS. I was prescribed Metformin and my doctor told me everyone he prescribed it to had been pregnant in a few weeks. Listening to this my hope was renewed and I have religiously taken it. I took a step back from ovulation tests and pregnancy tests as I was hopefully. I honestly have felt so different the last week that I decided to take a pregnancy test when my partner was as work as I wanted it to be a surprise for him in the morning when he got home. I’ve tried lowering my diet (sugar and carbs) and following a gym workout, but every knock back I get (negative opk and pregnancy test) makes me binge eat/ loose motivation.ive never had a positive opk in all the months I’ve been trying so I’m sure I have not ovulated in all the time trying but according to my doctor the opks are invalid and don’t mean anything. I try my hardest but my feelings are linked to food and always have been. Did anyone try acupuncture? Thank you all so much for the advice, I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this in real life I’m constantly teetering between hysterical crying and a nervous breakdown. I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cookienut · 12/11/2018 21:43

I think I’m going to book in with another doctor. All he keeps saying though is that I haven’t been off the pill long enough. NHS Guidelines say that if you period haven’t returned to normal after 6 months then see your gp.

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 12/11/2018 22:25

Definitely go back to gp state you’ve not had a period in ten months and ask for tests to see if you are ovulating.

The current medication is clearly not working.

stellarfox · 13/11/2018 06:31

When you have PCOS a lot of doctors do not know a lot about it so you need to go armed with knowledge and know exactly what you want to ask. (Please please try the podcast I recommended as it’s really empowering!!)

Do you have cysts on your ovaries and have they tested your androgen levels? Do you know if you are insulin resistant? These are tests your doctor can do. They can also check if you have any food intolerances.

How long did you manage the low carb for because I really think it takes some time before it has an effect. Try to research keto treats because you can still let yourself have some treats on a low carb/keto diet, you just have to plan your meals ahead. I think you need to try this without the binge eating. I made these desserts called fat balls which were nice and there are tons of recipes on reddit /keto recipes. If you are insulin resistant your body is so preoccupied with fighting your insulin levels that it is not ovulating as it is prioritising dealing with the food you are eating... so binging etc could be stopping you ovulating all together. I’d really try hard to work on your diet and you might start ovulating. It sounds to me like you aren’t ovulating at the moment. I’m sure you can though if you commit to changes!

stellarfox · 13/11/2018 06:35

P.s. your mental health is really important so definitely a good idea to book in with the doctors to get some antidepressants! I honestly think the podcast I recommended will give you new hope too though and help your thoughts on how to manage PCOS.

I can recommend you some of the food I would eat also.

stellarfox · 13/11/2018 06:36

I didn’t try acupuncture but I heard it can work so why not give it a go!

BeautifulBlue · 13/11/2018 12:03

Ahh I’m really sorry OP. This probably isn’t what you want to hear (because it certainly isn’t the easiest or quickest solution) BUT weight has such a massive impact on PCOS symptoms. I have PCOS & tried for a baby for 3 years nothing... random, long cycles. Then I bit the bullet & lost 2 stone. I got pregnant within a month of being at this weight. I’m now pregnant with #2 after just a few months trying at a healthy (ish) I’m still a bit over weight... weight. It isn’t easy but I honestly don’t think I’d have my babies if I hadn’t done it so it’s worth it & a fantastic inscentive to stick with it! Even just losing 5% of your body weight can have a huge impact. Weight loss along with metformin... I would be really confident about you becoming pregnant. In the mean time be kind to yourself, I know it’s tough Flowers

MagicalCreatures · 13/11/2018 12:26

I just wanted to give you a positive story so you can see there is still hope. Done give up just yet.
My sister was trying for 18 months and was just like you, diagnosed with PCOS. Periods were all over the place.
She was put on metformin and though it wasn’t weeks, she did fall within a few months and now has a gorgeous 7 year old little girl.
Hold on a little longer.
Have you tried temping. Where you record your basal body temp in the mornings. That’s the only (do it yourself) way to see if you are actually ovulating.
Hang In there. TTC is a horrible long journey for some. X

Original poster
Cookienut · 13/11/2018 16:27

Hi all I just wanted to say a huge thanks for all your advice and suggestions. I’ve been food shopping and from tomorrow morning I will be following a low carb diet along with digging out my kit. I’ve been really stuggling lately and with some of my friends who speak and say you’ll be the next to have a child or saying about how lucky I am to not have any children. My sister in law had a baby last year and is talking about having another. It’s so hard because I want to scream and shout about how it’s not fair bit can’t. I feel much better today, here’s hoping I will soon get my bfp xx

OP posts:
triwarrior · 13/11/2018 16:37

I went to a Chinese herbalist and had regular acupuncture. I have PCOS too and wasn't ovulating for a while. I now have three children (one of whom was an IVF conception.) I'm convinced that this was trick - so much about fertility isn't understood. Read "The Infertility Cure" by Randine Lewis, too, if you haven't already. I have such compassion for you; I've been where you are and it's miserable. I hope you have a breakthrough soon.

stellarfox · 13/11/2018 16:50

Just remember you are not alone! A lot of women struggle ttc and never talk about it...whereas we only hear the success stories of people conceiving straight off the pill. Good luck, it can be a long road but there is so much you can learn about PCOS and so many lifestyle changes you can make yourself to get your body back in the swing of things.

Do you know they think PCOS survives as a gene/condition because the women with PCOS were the ones that could still have babies when we were in really tough conditions e.g. famine etc whereas women without the gene couldn’t. So whilst PCOS is a right pain in today’s society with our diets of highly processed foods and carbs which we didn’t have in caveman days, it’s actually a survival gene! I found that very interesting!

charlyn · 13/11/2018 17:29

Sorry to hear your struggling cookienut. I have long irregular cycles (I suspect I have PCOS but not been formally diagnosed) and managed to conceive using Agnus Castus. It might be worth looking into Agnus Castus as it is known to regulate cycles and help you ovulate. I’ve also read Inositol is supposed to be good for PCOS sufferers too.

Original poster
Cookienut · 13/11/2018 19:52

I really wanted to take to time to thank everyone who has given me any advice. They are all suggestions that I am going to try. I went back to the doctor this evening where I’ve been given some anti depressants. I also think finally my doctor is taking me a bit more seriously. I explained to him how worried and down I am getting due to this and he has asked me to return in a months time if I still haven’t had a period and he will then try an alternative form of medication. He thinks that the Metformin still needs time to work my system but In the meantime wants to elevate my stresses and give me the best chance of conceiving. This last negative really knocked me I was convinced I was pregnant and I let my mind get carried away. Thank you all so much xx

OP posts:
BeautifulBlue · 13/11/2018 20:29

Really pleased to read your update @Cookienut well done you for being so pro active! You have made some really positive steps best of luck to you!

physicskate · 13/11/2018 21:06

I'm really glad you felt listened to!! Sometimes things have to get a bit dramatic and desperate before they start to improve...

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