I want a baby but my partner doesn't and says I don't deserve to have his seeds what would you do.

[Annmarie33]

I'm 34 I have a 16 year old daughter from a previous relationship I have been with my partner for 10 years I would really love to have another child I have discussed it with my partner but he says he doesn't want to have a child with me and that I don't deserve to have his seeds it's really getting me down I feel like I'm stuck in a dead end relationship with a man who clearly doesn't love or respect me anymore he says things like I can barely look after my self never mind a baby and is constantly bringing me down my own daughter always says to me why are with him he treats you so bad she also likes the idea of me having a baby I am a brilliant mother to my daughter she has grown into a lovely kind young woman and she gets upset when she sees me upset I feel like I have so much more love to give and feel like something is missing in my life I work all the time then come home cook clean and do everything for my daughter and partner I feel like I can't speak to friends or family about this because I don't want them to think bad of my partner I'm not sure what to do I do love my partner but don't think he feels the same way.

Thank you everyone I have took the step and went the council to get rehouse I can no longer be with him he will never make me happy am doing this for my daughter and myself and a did say a wanted a baby but definitely not with him am going to visit woman's aid on Friday and get the help I need to get out of this toxic relationship thank you everyone who commented you have helped me make a move a never thought I would be able to do.

I am a brilliant mother to my daughter she has grown into a lovely kind young woman and she gets upset when she sees me upset

Brilliant mothers do not subject their dcs to this sort of toxic environment! But delighted to see you are taking steps to change this.

Why, are his precious seeds made of solid diamonds?

Very bad example for your daughter, staying with a man like this. I hope she's not your emotional crutch to lean on also or your adviser and listening ear, as that's also very wrong. You are her parent, she is not yours. Set an example. There's more than 1 man in the world for God's sake, let this one go. It's not the end of the world if you're single and not man-focused for a while

I always tell my daughter everything is ok I only cry when I am alone I would never do anything to harm my daughter I protect her from it all I have took the steps to move on yesterday I am going to stay with my mum for a bit until I can get a place of my own I'm not a bad parent I was just scared to leave my daughter is the most important thing in my life and I will always protect her a don't appreciate people says I'm doing my, daughter harm cause I'm most definitely not. Thank for all the kind words and help.

Nobody is saying you're a bad parent, just challenging your claim that you're a 'brilliant' one. You said yourself that your dd gets upset when you get upset, she can't possibly fail to understand what a bad relationship you have with your partner. Not a good environment for her to be in.

And please don't try and use a baby to fill the gap in your life.

The only way you'd be trapped is by becoming pregnant with his child.

Does he have any children if his own? I get the impression he seems older than you?

Great you are going to stay with your mum but how easy is it going to be getting the council to rehouse you?

I would think you are probably more likely going to have to go down the private rental route eventually

Remember it is one thing leaving at 34. You can start again and meet someone new and have a child with them. At 44 of 54 you might meet someone but another child is going to be impossible.

If your bf thinks he is too good for you then it is only a matter of time before he dumps you and you are out on your ear. Be is already on the look out for your replacement. This way you are taking control of the situation.

completely and utterly outraged at some of the responses from people on here. some people are so narrow minded and nasty and have clearly never been faced with a situation like this.
please remember that everybody is different and it takes all personalities to make the world go round.

@annmarie33
you deserve so much more and i am so happy and proud of you that you took the leap you did, it was a step in the right direction i actually welled up reading that you had taken action.
it is not easy do do what you have just done. its not easy to 'just leave' especially when you are so invested emotionally and financially.

you will be a much happier person. it sounds like he was dragging you down and emotionally abusing you and that is not acceptable. i hope your family and friends are there for you and that they understand your situation! and everyone here are also here for you for any rants etc.

i wish you all the best for yours and your daughters future xx

That was a big first step and it took a lot of courage. Be proud of that. Like you said, it was difficult to leave and you've now started the first steps in doing that.

Bravo!!

This is a really sad thing to read, how awful for you. I think the thing that should make you think most honestly with your self that this relationship isn’t right is what your daughter has said. It’s easy as a friend or family member who only hears what you want to tell them, which is normally only when he is doing things to annoy you, to say he is always being horrible to you and you should leave. But when someone is living that relationship with you day in and day out, and sees all the good and all the bad, when they are saying there is more bad then good and you should leave, that is when you should be honest with your self and say actually she is right I need to leave

LEAVE HIM! You still have time to find someone else better and who will treat you well!

He is emotionally abusing you. These sorts of relationships are incredibly hard to leave so well done for being brave enough to take the first steps.

For me it was hardest thing to do but also the best thing I ever did. Three years on I am in a very happy, healthy relationship and am so, so glad I finally left him.

Good luck and remember the actual leaving is the hardest part, it will get easier with each step you take.

@OohhPickmePickme
Thank you for your kind words a just don't know how I will cope but I know I'm strong and will get through this was at, work this morning and had to try so hard to smile on my face and hold back tears but hopefully it will get easier.