TTC first baby cycle one! Anyone else out there?

[rosesandponies]

So.... first baby 🤞🏼🙏🏽🤞🏼🙏🏽 Meant to be ovulating tomorrow. Main challenge atm is keeping things fun with the husband and not making him feel like a baby making machine 😂 How’s it going for other hopeful first time mummy’s?

@Delilah7 so sorry love 😞

@rosesandponies thanks lovely. Didn't realise it would hit me as hard as it didn't say in the phone crying to my mum lol.

This is looking like a bad day for a few of us. I spent a couple of hours in tears this morning. I'm struggling with getting husband to be on board with this having more sex thing, we never did it loads to begin with anyway, he gets so stressed at work and commuting. Has been an issue for us in the past. But I'm scared that we haven't done it yet this cycle and I'm due to ovulate soon. Crying and waving OTKs in his face won't help I know!😭

@rosesandponies poor you, it's hard isn't it as i don't think the OHs realise quite the importance of those few days. My OH got performance anxiety and couldn't finish when we DTD after I told him I was ov'ing which has never happened before in our entire 11year relationship. So now I am just not telling him until after it has happened.
Could you try not telling him?
Is there anything you can do that gets him in the mood?

@rosesandponies oh lovely. Me speaking from the way your husband probably is - I'm the same with my other half. My sex drive is completely different to his and can cause so much friction. Just try and make it less planned and more relaxed. My other half hates it when I purposely plan and he knows about it! Xx

@Delilah7 makes you feel better and productive! Win!

@rosesandponies Im sorry you're feeling down. I know how you feel sort of - in our relationship it's me. Despite wanting a baby so much, I've historically not had a high sex drive so I'm worried I won't be able to DTD enough.

@rosesandponies
I have just seen your other post, I hope you don't mind me saying this but please ignore the people telling you to leave him over this. It does seem to be the go-to reaction on MN. Relationships are so much more than just sex.
I do think you need to talk to him about it though and make him see that he either needs to talk to you and put some effort in or get help from the gp/therapist. He obviously loves you too so I wouldn't be fobbed off by the threats of leaving you. Does he want children? If so I would just tell him that if he wants a family then you need to have sex when you ovulate- there is no feasible other way.
I would try to keep a cool head when talking to him and try not to get too angry or emotional with him, as I think men tend to shut down then!

I hope you're ok. We are here if you need support. ❤️

@LuckyKitty13 exactly!!!

Thank you guys - yes I'm ignoring the quite ott responses to the other posts. He does want a baby but is just struggling with this bit

@rosesandponies I saw the other thread also, and thought the comments were quite unkind. Not what you need. I can see it's incredibly difficult for you, and I understand why. If he's perfect in every other way, then there must be a way to get through this. We all have our faults/areas for improvement. I agree counselling may be helpful, as well as you expressing your need for a genuine heartfelt conversation - even if all he is able to say is that he doesn't know why, or that he's worried about it etc. My DH has an area of his life that he struggles with (won't go into detail) and he genuinely doesn't know why he is that way. It upsets him and he wants to change but he hasn't got the words to explain. If he's willing to go down the cup and syringe option, that's a practical option - I'm sure it can still be done with some intimacy if you try, if he wants to

@LuckyKitty13 I think it's not necessary because we do still manage to do it - I think he'd be horrified if I suggested it! I think it's just an extra pressure now of trying to get pregnant has made him more nervous and me more upset

And @LuckyKitty13 I also have a low sex drive - probably why we work well together - but it makes baby making tough!

They've deleted that thread now - it was shocking what some women were saying about him being secretly gay??! I should have just come to you girls 😂

@LuckyKitty13 @rosesandponies I do not see how such an 'amazing' network like NetMums can let comments like that go. I think to myself how dare someone suggest someone's gay or anything when all you are going off is someone venting about something that's dear to them. He's obviously an amazing husband to you and you know there's an issue there with something but It's not the end of the marriage or the love. Keep faith, we are all here for you. Stick to this thread 😂 xx

I'm glad it's been deleted. It was very cruel. I'm sorry if my suggestion was inappropriate , I didn't want to cause any offence or upset. I hope you're okay - sending supportive thoughts

@LuckyKitty13 no not at all - and thanks everyone for the support. I was just wary about putting a detailed rant about my problems on here because I didn't want to make this thread just about my own TTC and marriage issues, I'd rather not talk about it any more for a bit if that's OK. I did actually have a chat with hubbie this evening - he's just finished a big project at work and has 2 weeks of from Friday so will take some time to relax. Feeling more positive 👍🏽 rubbish day.
I hope one of this lovely thread gets their BFP over the weekend to cheer me up!

No problem.
Fingers crossed for any weekend testers!
Any weekend plans anyone?

@rosesandponies it was unbelievable what some people were saying, I hope you can try and ignore most of it. Also feel free to talk to us if you need to, for less judgmental ears! And support is what this is all about so never feel bad about chatting to us if you need to.

I have had too many G&Ts tonight after being so good with diet and alcohol and now feel guilty as it's hardly going to help my ridiculously long cycles - currently on day 42 and still getting bfn and no sign of af. Oh joy!

@FlapJackered how's the hang over? G&Ts for me tonight I think!
I was just wondering - is acne a sign of ovulation?

@rosesandponies a little sore! 🤦🏼‍♀️
Not sure but I think acne often fares up after ovulation with the rise in hormones?

I'm so ready to baby make ladies!

Whoop whoop let's get those babies made. My withdrawal bleed started yesterday so does that put me on day 2 of my cycle today? I'm so confused about the acronyms for numbering cycle days.

I’m confused by the term withdrawal bleed, doesn’t that refer to bleeding while on the pill? But otherwise yes it sounds like you are on CD2, ready to start again!

How’s everyone feeling? This thread and a few others dropped off my list so I’ve missed a bit.

@Kescilly it's the bleed you get on the pill or the bleed when you have just come off it, I think.

I am on cd 42 woohoo! But temp has just got up a bit so 🤞🏻 it keeps going and I have ovulated. We Dtd but only once on Wednesday night, so hoping that's enough.