When should I start trying for second baby!?

[Gardenfullofroses]

Hi,
I’m wondering if anyone can give me some perspective. My husband and I are ready to start trying for baby no. 2 but are considering when would be sensible to start trying. We are both in our 30s but got pregnant first time with baby no. 1.
I have a 30 day cycle & started my period today so thinking if we start trying after this period we could potentially have a January baby... or wait till next month and potentially have a February baby.
The thing is - my husband and I are currently weighing up pros and cons of January/February babies. Are we being crazy thinking it will happen just like that again!?
Do we just got on with it as it probably won’t be that easy second time round or are we being sensible looking at due dates!?
I kind of want to just get on with it but waiting another month could mean I loose a bit more weight and the baby’s birthday will be further away from Christmas...
But also don’t want to wait then it take ages so kick myself for waiting.
What are you experiences on trying to ‘time things’?
First time we just started to have fun (wanting a baby) and if happened so planning this time is new to us.
Thanks ladies x

I came off the pill, had 1 period then fell pregnant. Three times. If you've decided to try for another, crack on I say. Neither you or anyone else can guess how long it'll take you to conceive. Good luck.

Personally I would just keep trying all the time. Who cares about when you have the baby if you want a baby then hopefully it will happen, just relax for now and don’t get too stressed about dates. Just try every day as much as you can and see how it goes

You might conceive straightaway again and you might not, but I really don't see the point either way with being micromanagey about month. You just can't plan things that accurately - even if you conceive with your first unprotected shag you could go overdue, you could have a premature baby, you could be induced early due to complications, you just don't know. Once you're ready for a second generally just do it.

I feel pregnant straight away with my first.
With the second, I tried to time it so I would have a September baby. I didn’t get pregnant for 3 cycles, and am now expecting a November baby. It was panicking each time my period cane, thinking I’d never get pregnant.

If I were you, I’d crack on with it! There are pluses and negatives to any birthday. You might go overdue or deliver prematurely. Springs/summer babies suffer academically compared to autumn bones.
Autumn norms are exposed to lots of colds/viruses when they are small.

Threads like this make me angry... but I am a frustrated long time ttcer. It's great you're really fertile and all, but this is kinda taking the piss. This is not a dilemma but feels like a way of showing off how much control you have over this...

I was planning for a November baby. November 2016. Still not pregnant.

Physicskate I’m so sorry for your struggles tbh I agree I hate seeing threads like these as I know a few people struggling to have kids

@physicskate Understandably TTC is tough when it takes a long time, I'm not doubting that in anyway. There are threads where you can discuss that, give and receive support. I don't think that OP's intention was to anger or upset anyone so perhaps it's better to comment on other posts as this seems unhelpful. I very much doubt it's about 'control', OP is Just asking for advice.

OP, my advice would be to just get cracking, you could get your BFP straight away, or it could take moths leading into years. If you both want a baby then just don't put any pressure on yourselves to time it and see what happens. Good Luck

Agree with physicskate on this one. Another long term ttc’er here. I was hoping for a Christmas baby myself. Back in 2016. I’ve still not been pregnant. Having one baby easily doesn’t guarantee you will be so lucky the next time. Honestly, controlling ttc around potential birthdays is ridiculous in my opinion. People should be grateful to have a baby regardless of what month they might be born on. If you and your partner are ready to ttc, then just go for it. It might happen straight away and you’ll just have to deal with them having a birthday that isn’t particularly desirable for you. It also might take absolutely ages.

I have a daughter, she’s almost 10. I haven’t been able to conceive my second in 19 months (and counting) despite having nothing physically preventing conception (had enough fertility tests done to last me a lifetime). Don’t just work on the assumption that things will happen as and when you want because that’s not how conception works for most people, even if it has done in the path. There are ZERO guarantees. Good luck!

Namey - you were panicking you'd never get pregnant after 3 cycles?!

Garden as PP have said you can't control what happens in terms of due dates so if you're ready for a second I would crack on with it. Hopefully you'll be as lucky as you were with your first and catch quickly. Good luck! x

Past* not path, bloody iPhone

Stop trying to control it. If you’re ready then give it a go. Might be quick, might take ages

Oh ffs she didn't post this in infertility! I was just waiting for kate to pop up as she often does on threads like this. 🙄 If you're struggling with infertility (as am I) and you don't like to hear about fertility people then keep scrolling. How dare you police what others can and can't post about ?

I don't understand your comment @itbecauseimaleo?

Why were you waiting for me?

I don't recall there being many (any?) threads like this in the past few years... because most people don't ask strangers on the internet when they should ttc...

kate because you always have something sarky to say when someone mentions they've conceived with ease. If you get annoyed at the fact that some people are able to have babies easily then you clearly have things to work through. Your first comment sounds incredibly selfish and entitled and was of absolutely no help to the OP

But their op was the exact same?? I was trying to imply that. Was just honestly expressing my opinion. I am sorry sarcasm offends you - it's all I have. That and my cat.

I feel like I live in a crazy world if the debate is to have a january vs febuary baby... Sometimes people need calling out. Thank you for calling out on me.

Stop it, itsbecause; that was cruel and uncalled for, and not true of physicskate in my view.

I don't see how I was cruel queen. Yes kate sometimes people do need calling out but it isn't always our place to do so. The OP wasn't being deliberately inflammatory. Maybe a little naive but harmless nonetheless. My comment to you was a little barbed but I'm just tired of seeing so many OP's nitpicked on the conception boards

At the risk of getting lynched for this comment, we're in a similar position. We've decided to hold off for a few months. Ours is because of a potential house move.

Thank you @Lilly1207, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

This is simply a post in ‘conception’ to ask for other people’s “perspective” on whether timing is something I should even be thinking about. As I wrote above, I was incredibly lucky first time - conceived straight away and daughter was born on her due date. This time is different as I am also factoring in that I already have one child (plus finances, health etc) so this time will be thought about in much more detail. I am not someone who would bring a child into this world without thinking about it.

Whilst making my decision I thought it would be interesting to hear perspectives on whether timing should be something I consider.

Some great points have been made about the unpredictability of pregnancy - such as a baby born early or late. This has definitely made me decide to not think about timing as anything could happen along the way.

For anyone who does not like the post, I would suggest you do not read anymore and carry on with your day. Commenting is really not necessary.

I'm sorry my opinion offends you so @itsbecauseimaleo. I see things through my own coloured view of the world. Yes I find it enraging that I can't have a baby and other people can without too much thinking. It's unfair (but yes, this is a conversation I have often had with the infertility counsellor). I found the OP so naive as to be hurtful. Not as hurtful as my own family have been because I can't conceive, but painful nonetheless.

But we digress. I am sorry for hijacking your thread op. Thank you for the support @bubblegum89 and @queenaravisofarchenland. I will say no more about it.

@euphrasia we have also waited until now due to moving and finances. Now everything is where I wanted it to be before another baby, I have just started to look at whether we should start now or wait a little longer still.

@miserablemouse - I was, seems silly now. I think I felt like I had ‘tempted fate’ by trying to control things in a way that suited me, rather than be grateful for any baby.

Infertility is awful, and I imagine reading about people getting pregnant with ease can be very hard. But the OP was clearly not meaning to hurt anyone with infertility, and is entitled to talk about their own issues, even if someone else may find them trivial. E.g people are allowed to talk about an argument with their dad, without worrying about offending people whose dads have died. Yes, it will seem silly to the latter, but everyone is going through their own shit, and deserves to be listened to.

@Gardenfullofroses we had decided to start trying for a baby #2 in May 2018, my DS is 8. I had my coil removed in March 2018 and I'm now already pregnant! Wasn't expecting it to happen at such speed but just goes to show you cant really plan anything with babies and pregnancy! Keep us updated

@physicskate I am sorry that reading this post has hurt you. This is however, a post for people’s opinions on MY circumstances.

That being - will I be so lucky a second time and whether timing is something worth taking into the equation when considering bring a new life into this world.

My twins were born in February after 5 years of ttc as a result of our first round of ivf. I agonised over their potential birth month, and am so glad they weren’t born in Feb - my sister was born in Jan and her bday sucks as nobody has any money, everyone does dry January, blah blah. So, whilst I know there’s no control over fertility, if I were to fall pregnant easily I’d defo try to avoid a January baby and go for Feb onwards.

I’m sorry for everyone struggling to conceive, it’s absolutely bloody awful.

OP, you may well fall easily, and there’s nothing wrong with thinking of due dates! Best case scenario you have a month your happy to have a baby born in, worst case, it’s a bit of fun planning and weighing up the pros and cons. I don’t know whether I’ll ever cop it naturally, but I have a couple in the freezer that we’re planning on using, and I’d like a summer baby next time 🙂