Boy and a girl/pigeon pair/perfect family + 1 ??

[tvhearts]

We have a boy and a girl and so many people say to me "oh that's you done then you don't need any more children" it is so much more socially acceptable to have two of the same gender and then another!!

I do feel lucky to have a boy and a girl. I do understand that it would change your family dynamic. I do know that our lives will be crazy but I just can't shake this feeling of wanting a third baby!! Has anyone had the "pigeon pair" and then another?? Would you recommend it or do you regret it?

Everyone who has three children seems to try to talk me out of it and people I know with two children seem to think I'm stupid for considering it and want to talk me out of it too!

Aahh so confused can anyone give me any advice!!??

I have 2 girls. The ‘are you going to try for a boy?’ comments just get ignored. I don’t get annoyed, they don’t make me question whether I should have another, they just get ignored. Like all comments on a baby’s gender should imo.

*I'm not sure I will be supporting any of my boys through their first period...

Or helping to pick out prom dresses and wedding dresses with him....

Or holding his hand as he gives birth...*

My mum missed that memo.

Too embarrassed about periods. Fortunately i was a reader, learned from books and managed myself.

No prom dresses, proms are a recent thing. Don’t boys need help picking out prom outfits? Wedding dress, nope, we eloped and my mum didn’t even come.

Holding hand while i give birth? Can’t think of anything worse. She’d be utterly useless. She came to stay the week after and did nothing but pester me to take dd to the gp because she was crying/feeding/pooing/sleeping...and she was sure something was wrong.

Yeah that list is a bit silly tbh.

When I was pregnant the first time, I was absolutely over the moon to find out it was a girl.

I told my male friend that DH was pleased too as he’s not the outdoor sports type. His response was ‘my wife wanted a girl, she got Emily’.

Emily is a lovely, football mad 7 year old.

It made me realise that my stereotypical hopes were all a bit ridiculous.

I’d be delighted if my girls might show an interest in engineering, like their DF. They can marry whomever and however they want and I will completely understand if they don’t have children or don’t want me anywhere near when they do. I will consider my parenting a success if they are happy.

The stereotypes are not only limiting, but potentially disappointing too.

Yes boys also give you grandchildren but ask any grandparent and they will tell you it's a completely different experience with your daughter compared to your son!

I don't agree with this either. I thought we had got past this sort of generalisation.

I have a girl and a boy, and desperately want another. I hate it when people say you must be happy having one of each. I have two children, as far as I’m concerned, not ‘one of each’, and I would like a third. I can’t advise further than that as I don’t have a third yet, but if that’s what you want, then go for it!

"I have 2 girls. The ‘are you going to try for a boy?’ "

I used to get that too and wasn't DH unhappy he didn't have a son. Erm, nope... we wanted two girls, actually. But don't say that because then you get accused of being a smog. 😂

alletik, I find that ‘no’ sufficies!

I have one of each and have had lots of "pigeon pair" and "perfect family" type comments. It's just something to say. If I'd had 2 the same they'd say how lovely for them and they'll be best friends etc.
I am pleased that I get to experience parenting both sexes but would have been just as happy whatever I had, all combinations are good for different reasons.
Have a third if you want and ignore everyone else. I won't be, 2 is work enough!!

@buntingqueen you sound just like me! And thanks also for all the other really nice, helpful replies. @MamaL86 , thanks for "getting" what I'm saying!! I just feel lucky to have 2 gorgeous babies irrespective of their gender.

I really didn't mean to offend anyone so I'm sorry if I've worded it wrong and it's come over like I'm some sort of smug idiot!!

....I'm definitely leaning towards going for baby #3

Ps what's a smog @alletik ??? Xx

Just googled it @alletik omg that's ridiculous

I have boy/girl children. Got comments when they were tiny but after that it's not something people comment on at all. I don't know if that's true for people who have children of one sex but I expect there is a point when potential commenters realise that you aren't going to have more children and move on to different inane comments.

There are differences in bringing up girls and boys that have nothing to do with their personalities.

The purely biological is mostly about female puberty IME. I'm not sure if ds even had wet dreams, but dd has had some issues related to periods that he didn't (luckily) have to experience, and so of course we supported her (visits to hospital, doctors appointments, extra care when she was feeling terrible etc). Should either of them get pregnant/get someone else pregnant their sex will be very relevant too.

Then there is the gender side, and again it's dd that has needed the support there too. No sexual harassment or assault for ds (not that it's impossible of course just a great deal less likely for boys). Gender conformity/ non conformity could be an issue for both of them, but the world undoubtedly treat boys and girls, men and women differently.

@nooka 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I'm hearing you op, don't at all think this is a strange post.
I was the eldest of 3 girl, boy, boy. As kids I don't think it made much difference our gender, it was more age that me and my brother (elder of the 2) were closer but it did always feel like it was 2 against 1 in any argument with no pattern of girl vs boys or vice versa just with there being 3 of us so in that respect sticking with 2 might be easier! I also get your 'for kids it's better the same' i never felt like i missed out having brothers but i do think it made me a bit tom boyish and i think having a sister would of been quite a different childhood but more so now as an adult I feel a lot of my friends have sisters who share a friendship I don't think you quite have between a brother and sister which I also think my brother's share.
As adults though I love having 2 brother's who I feel are very protective of their sister so I think having 2 and 1 has worked out well.
I totally also get that people have a thing for the desired perfect family of a boy and girl and I do definitley think if you have only either people think you are trying for the other but if you have one of each people think you should be content with that. That probably is a bit of a dated way of thinking in a world where It's apparently the future to be gender neutral but I grew up on a farm in the highlands of Scotland where things probably are a bit dated.