Will the world burst into flames if you TTC and move at the same time?

[Margaritaanyone89]

I'm going to TTC this Jan, my OH wants to wait until we move before I become pregnant, he's high anxiety and thinks it will be the worst thing in the world to move whilst pregnant or move after I have the baby. (He thought we'd have moved by Jan which is why he agreed a year ago that Jan we could TTC).

He's very rigid in his ways, like if I sprung on him "we're going to the cinema after work" he'd have a melt down as he wasn't expecting it. But after he went to the cinema and realised the world wasn't falling apart, he's absolutely fine and happy. (He might even be just on the spectrum or just have anxiety issues, I haven't worked out!)

My opinion: we've been together for 6 years, it's been difficult trying to sell our house as we've had to fix several things up this past year. We are emotionally, financially and excitedly ready for a new child I've been preparing for Jan and have built myself up as that's when we're conceiving. We have enough bedrooms here if worst comes to worse and we haven't moved in time (very unlikely!!). The only thing my partner is against is TTC before we move.

He's heard people say "the most stressful thing in life is moving and having a baby" and believes our world will crumble if we try and do both.

I just can't wait any longer! I want to start trying in Jan in the hope of having DC near Christmas so they won't be the youngest of the year but I also want him to enjoy the pregnancy and not be anxious the whole time!

Has anyone moved whilst pregnant? Was it as bad as you'd imagined?

Is it too far to just TTC and then reassure him afterwards?! (I know he'll be absolutely fine when DC would be born and the world hasn't burst into flames like he feared). It's just his anxiety before hand.

Just wanted to share and see what others thought?

We had had IVF, bought a house and then completely gutted the whole thing while I was pregnant and living there.
My entire pregnancy was spent decorating watching dh decorate while eating chocolate

The world did not end, was it stressful? Yes, did I cry A LOT? Yes but it was totally worth it.
There is never a good time to move or have a baby don't put your life on hold.

He does sound quite aspie

I wouldn't want to move or live in building site conditions with a newborn, but moving and decorating while TTCing or pregnant would be fine and actually quite normal. Nesting instinct is very helpful when you're still decoratuat 38 weeks!

I was 8 months pregnant when we moved 5hrs flight away. We both went straight to work and managed to findfibuy and buy a house too before baby came. I spent a lot of time relaxing and being driven around, it was lovely. Better than moving whilst non pregnant (you have to do heavg lifting then too!haha) and soooo much better than with a newborn. Couldn't do much with a newborn at all.

I would start because sadly it's not a quick and easy journey for all of us so better to start earlier if all else is okay.

Glitteryglitter-- That made me chuckle :) Well done for getting through it! It's lovely to hear someones moving + pregnancy success story! :') And I agree, I really don't want to put our lives on hold for any longer!

Battleax-- Yes, I think he's either "high functioning Asperger's" or just a very anxious person! I did tell him this, I said leave it to me. I'll grow the baby and get the moving stuff resolved, I'll be on my own little nesting mission, don't worry!

ladybug92 -- Wow, hats off to you for taking the plunge. 5 and half hours at 8 months pregnant?! You sound like superwoman! Haha I didn't think about it like that, I suppose the family might be more willing to give me a break and help out if I do manage to conceive!

You are right about starting early too, I have PCOS and I worry that putting it off for too long may work against us. I'd kick myself for not trying sooner if it took a long while TC.

Thin slice it for him. Along the lines of "We might as well try, conceiving might take some time, we need to optimise diet and start on folic acid and focus on our health etc (and if we are lucky enough to conceive quickly, we'll still have 9 whole months to get organised)"

I totally get it. My DH has anxiety so he said he didn't want to TTC until we'd moved and we're settled. I managed to convince him to TTC once we'd started the moving process (accepted offers and found a house).

We got pg 1st cycle but ended in mc in September. We're now finally moving in a couple of weeks, the same weekend that I'll be 14dpo and testing this cycle. As awful as it was, the mc confirmed to him that he really wanted a baby so was happy to keep trying even though we hadn't quite moved yet.

I got a positive pregnancy test the day after we moved into our new house. We've rewired, had a new boiler, knocked down a wall and fitted a new kitchen and I'm now 6 weeks from my due date and have said no more work till after the baby. It's been stressful but then moving/renovating generally is!

I moved 3 days before my due date, one week before she was actually born. Wasn't ideal at such a late stage, but was ok, and nice to start life as a family in our new home!

We started trying to move whilst TTC and by the time we got into our new place I was 10 weeks. Both moving and TTC can take a long time. Don’t put your life on hold for ‘what ifs’

We planned to move before TTC, but then it took absolutely ages to get the house we wanted (10 months!). I'm that time we started to TTC anyway, and I had 3 early miscarriages in a row. Got pregnant again for the 4th time, moved into the house at 9 weeks pregnant. It is a total wreck, needs completely gutted and has been a building site ever since. I'm 25 weeks now and we still don't have a washing machine and only got a kitchen last week!

It should be ready before baby is here and will be our home for a long time so hopefully worth it. TBH id far rather go through this now than when I had a baby/child, as at least I don't have to worry about anyone but myself!

I agree with pps - suggest it gradually rather than presenting it as major life steps.

We moved 4 weeks before my due date and it was fine but then I didn't really have to lift a finger we had help from the family. I didn't find it stressful at all. We also got married not long before moving and whilst I was pregnant so we done 3 of the most stressful things in one's life in the space of 4 months! Then second time we moved I was 4 months pregnant and again it was fine, we used a removals company.

We were TTC while looking to buy our first home - the conceiving was quick, finding a house was slow! We didn't find anywhere until I was 4 months along. Moved in when I was 7 months. This was a move three hours away from where we were living. It was tiring, but fine. Transferring hospital was easy, and still had enough time to decorate babies room etc. You'll be fine!!

I moved at 6 months pregnant. This was not planned. The move took ages and we got pregnant the first month.

I burst my waters by doing too much heavy lifting while moving which was very very stupid by me. Luckily DD was ok.

I was so pleased to move that I didn't really find it that bad.

You can't put your life on hold. Hopefully you'll be able to persuade him. Both can be long drawn out processes.

We moved out of our house when I was 30 weeks pregnant. Unfortunately our purchase fell through on the day of exchange and we'd decided to go ahead with the sale and move in with family for a few weeks, until we could find another house to buy. Ended up moving into new house when baby was 3 weeks old; so I have experienced moving whilst pregnant and with a newborn.
Not ideal and stressful at times (more so because my husband is highly strung, I took it mostly in my stride) but I am glad we persevered and settled into our new home while baby was young and easily transportable. I got a lot of unpacking done in the early days when babies tend to sleep lots. Would have been a lot harder with an older baby or toddler.

Haha aw thanks @Margaritaanyone89 but no no, we are all superwomen! :) good that you will have family around, we didnt but it would've been so great if we did. Fingers crossed for you xx

We moved when I was 40 weeks pregnant and now live on a building site with a toddler and a newborn. It's fine :)

We are planning to start to TTC in jan and are currently looking for a new house. We've accepted an offer on ours but our buyer has gone awol. Hoping it's just Christmas getting in the way...
So no advice but here for a mutual handhold if you'd like!

I moved house at 7+ months pregnant. Twice! First time was a breeze as it was our first house, so not too much stuff to move in and organise, although it did mean I was up a ladder at 8mo pg decorating the baby’s room (which of course she then didn’t actually sleep in til she was over 6 months old).
Second time we moved 100+ miles away, I packed up the whole house pretty much on my own as DH worked away all week, and had a 3yo that time round too. It was also absolutely fine, although quite knackering (more so when we moved in and I realised that the old owners had left the house in a disgusting state and had to spend weeks cleaning, at 7mo pg with bad SPD). DC2 was born 2 months, almost to the day, after we moved in. All fine and sorted. As people have said, it might take a while to conceive, and even if it doesn’t, moving while pregnant (or even with a newborn!) is honestly not as bad as you might think. Go for it OP! Show this thread to your DH

Yep, I’m 6 months pregnant and moved house on the 22nd of this month. Knowing that we would be having a child meant the criteria for our ‘dream home’ changed slightly. It’s been great knowing that this will be our little girls first home. I have the next 3 months to decorate/furnish and prepare myself! It hasn’t been stressful for me but my DH is very supportive. Although it might have been a different story if we were still looking for a house in March!

We moved four days before a planned csection with dc2 and a week before Christmas! It all turned out beautifully in the end and was actually far less stressful for me than it might have otherwise been, because our families helped us out enormously on moving day and I just stayed out of the way with dc1. I do realise we were very lucky to have that help though, you might not be in a similar position.

With our first we started TTC before we had even found a house to go to. We just assumed it would work out. We moved when I was 4 months pregnant. Did everything ourselves and was very tiring but great for nesting once we'd moved!

With our second I was 5 months pregnant when we moved again. We hired movers to pack everything for us, which was fantastic. All very easy. The hardest part was moving with a 4 year old! We shipped off to my parents for the day as she was too fraught.

I wouldn't ever want to move with someone up to age 2 though...I couldn't hack that! Moving when pregnant = piece of cake (and I was on crutches during both pregnancies with pgp and sciatica).

We moved when I was pregnant with DS2, I think I was 19 weeks when we moved. It was fine and I had the perfect excuse to not do too much!!!!

We moved from Spain to Italy at 8 weeks pregnant, then Italy back to the UK at 8 months pregnant with DD1. Moved counties when DD1 was 6 months, then again when DD1 was 16 months and I was 5 months pregnant with DD2.
We all survived with no ill effects!

I think it’s traditional to undertake a house move or serious diy whilst pregnant, surely :) Of course you know this, but don’t give yourself too hard a deadline for conceiving. We weren’t admittedly trying very seriously, but it did take us a year, with one chemical pregnancy along the way. I would stress this and ‘let’s see what happens’ to your partner.

(And again with a nearly 3 year old and a 19 month old)