Anyone else just really fed up?

[PumpkinPatch000]

Hi,

Feeling very disheartened and confused today.

It sounds stupid but I feel cheated that all my life Ive been led to believe you can get pregnant any time so have to be careful when the reality is so far from that. We would have started trying so much sooner if we hadn’t been so naive 😞

This cycle I felt so different only for AF to eventually turn up 7 days later than it’s ever been...my cycle length is changing slightly too so I don’t know what’s going on! I also had symptoms that would all point towards being pregnant and are not what I’d normally get. The constant questions and hints from people about when we are going to have a baby don’t help either 😞

Anyone else feeling like this?

So sorry to rant, I know lots of people are going through this and it can take time to conceive but I just needed to let it out! Feeling very alone as don’t have anyone close to speak to about it as they don’t know we are trying.

Yes, it's shit isn't it? I remember being so surprised the first month TTC when I wasn't instantly pregnant. And now 20 months later, one miscarriage, no baby and it's stop fucking awful.

My friends are saying things like "well we're thinking we'll have number two next year, but I don't really want to get pregnant until after Christmas as I want a September baby really" and I want to scream in their faces that I'd take any baby born in any month.

So yes. It's shit and you're not alone.

Rant away! It’s such a hard thing to go through month after month, and so disheartening when the ‘symptoms’ you’ve felt turn out to be nothing. It can be exhausting. You have my full sympathy - fingers crossed you get your BFP soon

You aren’t alone, OP. We’re on month 15 now and I am fucking exhausted mentally. No one tells you how hard TTC can be. You go through life thinking you can have them when you want them when sadly, that isn’t the case for so many women on here

Same here can I join? I've been mostly upbeat but again 12 no the down the line I am almost ready to give up. I'll be booking doctors in the new year. One of my friends is starting ivf consultations but I can't bring myself to even tell her I'm ttc. I'm mostly upbeat still leading up to fw but the tww is a total killer for me. I'm so fed up with everyone that it's almost a killer for dtd. Sending lots of to everyone xx

It is shit and it ruins sex.

Know exactly how you feel..... Cycle 8 for us and 2 of my friends have just announced they are pregnant :( xxxx

Day 1 of cycle 20 here! Shit isn't it?! Feeling your pain OP xx

Sorry about this OP, I know it’s difficult. My family used to be really invasive with their comments about trying to have a baby - when are you going to have a baby, your cousins have all had babies, don’t leave it too late, maybe you’ll have a baby next year, etc.

It’s so, so rude and I suggest if anyone says anything remotely like that to you next time to just tell them it’s for you to manage and you’d rather not hear comments like that from them.

Yep I know the feeling! Been trying for a few months and fed up with not being preggo! Also getting peed off with people asking when we're having a baby, even family..we will have one when we are lucky enough to! I think its such a personal question, for all anyone knows we could be really struggling to get pregnant or have had a number of miscarriages, why do people feel they have the right to ask??

Agreed. It's been 6 months since we started trying (only 5 cycles though, cheers body! ) I warned DH it wouldn't be an instant thing (I wanted to start trying earlier than he did due to pessimism) but even I was kind of thinking/hoping it'd take 2-3 months.

I'm getting really frustrated this cycle and I've been trying everything, soya isoflavones at the start, constant opks mid cycle, and now that I know we DTD at the 'right' time, I'm constantly monitoring everything I eat and do in the hopes of forcing implantation- so another BFN will be especially gutting. But with my cycles in this state I'm still kind of expecting it. Docs next month I think.

We're lucky that no one has outright asked if we're thinking about kids yet or why we don't have any yet- but I know its coming and I'm absolutely dreading it.

I feel you pumpkin - cycle 13 (or 14? Losing count's a good sign, isn't it...) and fuck all. The others are spot on with how mentally exhausting it is. I kind of want to go back to contraception and give up for a bit, and then there's the nagging issue of lost time and age...sigh.

@Oysterbabe, your pic made me chuckle

I feel you too! Cycle 12 atm but know I’ve failed this cycle anyway. Before ttc I genuinely thought you could just get pregnant when you wanted to. It sucks. Hugs

You’re not alone in feeling cheated. I conceived on honeymoon and thought wow it really is that easy - 6 weeks later I was in surgery having tube removed after ectopic. TTC ever since. Feeling obsessive about charting, OPKs, diet, acupuncture the whole shebang. Really hard on my partner as I know I’ve become obsessive. See baby bumps everywhere and had to bite my tongue listening to my pregnant sister who already has a beautiful baby moan about ailments I would kill to have. Constantly get the invasive questions or the oh it’ll be you next wink and want to punch someone. You genuinely are not alone it’s really hard.

Same here ☹
I had a mc almost 6 weeks ago and desperate for another bfp. Still not had AF over since and haven't been able to pinpoint a definite O. So frustrated and want to get back to normal. Expected this to take a long time given my history and felt so lucky to have got bfp first cycle after stopping the pill only to have it all ripped away anyway.

Tilly- people make it all so much harder and i never realised before how insensitive they actually are! On my first day back at work 3 people asked if I'd been off with morning sickness and made pregnancy jokes. I try not to blame them, they didn't know but i ended up crying in the toilet for most of the afternoon.

Best wishes to all you ladies, hope there's good news soon for everyone.

Yep- feeling your pain!

I don’t think I would ever have gone on the pill if I knew you had to give your body time to adjust being off it- blah blah blah

Also, how can Doctors say “try not to stress” when you have such a small window of opportunity to conceive?

One positive above being off the pill for me is I do have my sex drive back. Has anyone else found that?

xxx

How cruel is this? Had a dream last night (I’m having very vivid ones lately) that I was pregnant, had bump and everything. Gone into labour, when the midwife checked me she said “you’re not pregnant”!!!!!

Kate I had a very similar dream the other day... except the midwife's words were 'Your baby is gone' It was very vivid and I woke up making crying noises until I fully woke up.
On the night of the day we first started TTC, I had a very vivid dream that I was heavily pregnant and my breasts were starting to leak! Told DH and he was convinced it was a sign, but sadly wasn't the case.

It’s awful isn’t it?

I used to love my sleep and getting into bed, but these vivid dreams are really effecting me.

How long have you guys been trying for? X

I feel the same :( I shouldn’t because I haven’t been trying that long but I grew up believing you could get pregnant so easily so when it didn’t happen in the first month you already start to feel a bit deflated. It’s so emotional, try hard, hopes up, AF, feel awful and repeat. All the while there are pregnant people everywhere who got pregnant with one try :(

Yeah, we’re the same.
This is our second month trying but it feels so much longer! I really wonder how some people fall pregnant by accident? Must be v v lucky!
I made myself smile this morning thinking what’s the secret all these Jeremy Kyle guests are keeping? They have one night with a bloke and bam they’re pregnant, on his show doing a DNA ha ha

I seem to get them a lot in the 2ww, normally not bad but when they are it really affects me because they seem so real!

We've been trying since May, so not awfully long compared to many, the frustrating thing is that when I was a teen I used to have a clockwork 30 day cycle, noticeable ov pain some cycles and ewcm every month. Now I'm 27 and TTC my cycles have been anything between 38-50 days, never get ewcm and got a positive opk and ov pains this month for the first time since we started trying. I'm a stone overweight at the moment so if I don't get pregnant this month I'm going to put all my energy into losing weight in the hope it'll help.

Maybe it’s a psychological thing? Because we all want it so bad it’s not happening!- who knows!!

I was adamant my period was coming on Tuesday as I had terrible period pain. In my head I was thinking please don’t come, please be pregnant .Would you believe period never came and not pregnant!!! Ahhhh!!!!

It’s nice to vent on here and know I’m not the only one finding this experience tiring, emotional and frustrating!!!!!

X

I do think worrying about it certainly doesn't help, but I don't think there's much we can do to stop worrying!

That feeling of limbo is awful isn't it! I've had that a lot seeing as I never know when my period will actually show. Are you still waiting?

And yes while I have fingers crossed for everyone, it is good to know there are others out there feeling the same. Everyone I'm close to either doesn't want kids yet, got pregnant within a couple of months, or got pregnant accidentally. Not that I would talk to them about ttc anyway but still.

Yes, I am still waiting. I’ve had quite a few twinges down below today and I’m getting a headache, so I think it’s on it’s way.

I really was adamant I was PG though as I’ve had every symptom under the sun, but that’s quite common apparently.

Do you track ovulation? I had a go last month with clear blue but never got a peak, so got bored of them and gave up!!!

Wanting it to happen doesn’t prevent it from happening.

Stress can only prevent conception if it stops you ovulating - if you’re ovulating, then please cut yourself some slack - this isn’t you doing it to yourself.

It’s just very very hard to make a human out of two teeeny tiny cells. It’s a complicated process, that often takes a lot of attempts to get right.

Good luck - you’ve got this x