July bus - jump aboard!

[ladydolly]

Thought I'd start a July bus, I'll be due to test around the 3/4th (because I'm impatient mostly). Fingers crossed for us all!

Sorry mother just saw your other thread. I'm so sorry xx

Thanks juney. Trying to get some perspective but the constant bfns are so demoralising. I just can't stay away from those bloody sticks though!

Don't I know it mother! I should have invested in first response at the start of this whole mess!

This morning I'm considering properly giving up, maybe even going back on bc. Just can't take the pain. DH couldn't finish last night (which has happened a few times only since we started ttc), so I can tell the stress of it all is getting to him too. He must feel almost as much pressure as I am...

Yeah I don't know how anyone does this for so long. It's been almost a year since we started, and DTD has lost all enjoyment (for me anyway). DH seems to be delighted as he thinks it means we should be doing it everyday. I'm fed up of it though

Place-marking as I'll be joining this bus in a few days:

Age: 32
TTC: No 2
Cycle: 4 when AF arrives in the next few days

Kate, I recognise you from another thread I watched but didn't post on as it had been quite long standing! I am so sorry you have had quite a long journey. It's miserable. We took a long time conceiving DS and there are no words to truly explain the misery of long term TTC. I remember one of the girls on a thread at the time said something like "Never in my life have I worked so hard to get absolutely nowhere". It really stuck with me, as it was month after month of focussing purely on TTC (DTDing at the "correct" times, cancelling plans to make sure we could DTD, actually starting to loathe DTD) whilst having to keep a permanent smile on my face for the weekly pregnancy announcements. Eventually it happened for us (not when we "relaxed" as everyone kept saying, grrrr) and I am sure it will happen for you. It's just difficult when you don't have that certainty that it will definitely happen sooner or later.

Where are you at in terms of having tests done? How is DH coping? I'm sorry he had trouble finishing; people don't realise just how hard this can be on the men too. I really hope you get some good news soon x x x

Hi Mama and Juney - I also recognise you both from other threads/previous buses. I'm so sorry you're also on this bus. Good luck over the next few months (although hope it happens for you this month!) x

Hello everyone else .

Hi Cheese, I'm so sorry you're also finding it hard. As I said above, long term TTC really is the worst. DTD loses all enjoyment. So hope you also have some good news soon!

Welcome cinnamon

Hello cinnamon!

I'm taking a positive stance this month and trying to do everything I can to get pregnant.

How do we all feel about dtd everyday? Does it harm your chances? On cycle 2 when i got a bfp we dtd alot on the run up to the fw and thru out the fw

What do we all think?

What's everyone's getting pregnant plans to increase their chances?

I think sperm quality can go down if DTD every day but don't quote me on that!

I've bought some preseed to try this month and asked the donor to come day 11 and 14 as past few months I've ovulated either day 12 or 15 so trying to hit both just in case!

Mama - It completely depends on your partner's sperm. My DH has sperm issues and the fertility specialist told us to DTD every 2-3 days from the end of my period. I think (without being a doctor) if the men have really good quality sperm though, DTD every day will give you the best shot!

Thanks Cinnamon. I'm feeling really pessimistic about this cycle today - even though I haven't even ovulated yet!!

Well my GP wouldn't refer me because of the two chemicals (one cycle 4? - bit unsure if it was as only had one positive - and cycle 10, month 11). He told me to have another miscarriage or to ttc for another 12 months.

We're booked in for a private (although they seem to think I'm an NHS patient???) on July 3rd for initial consult. I think I need the counselling more than the tests though! Not sure I could face actual treatment at this point... Today I even mentioned using a holiday to Cuba over Xmas as an excuse to take a break (because of zika).

Sorry to bring pessimism to all you fresh young things! I can't help it these days... I've become a person I never thought I could be!

Thanks Cinnamon, your words helped as I'm feeling pretty miserable at the moment 😑
Mamasbook, some of the other things I'm doing at the moment is trying to be as healthy as possible (fruit, veg etc), cut down (or eliminate) alcohol, and continue taking the conception vitamins. What about you?

Thanks for the ideas ladies.

I have no idea about sperm count and if I don't get a bfp I will ask the bf if he will do a test you can do at home to chexk. I'm going to buy some of those ovulation sticks too this month. We did have a chemical which makes me think he doesn't?

Kate, Cheese, I'm so sorry you feel so low. You really do have my sympathy.

Kate - that's mad that your GP won't refer you because you had two chemicals. It may be worth trying a different GP as they are so different in their approaches. We had a real battle with some, then some others were fantastic! A year TTC without a successful pregnancy is very common and usually not something to be too concerned about BUT there is certainly no harm in having some basic blood tests and a sperm test done and it costs very little, so I can't see why some GPs are so reluctant to push things forward.

Good luck with your private consultation. Hopefully they'll keep thinking you're NHS! There's no reason why you shouldn't be after all. Hopefully chatting things through with a specialist will give you some reassurance and ultimately advice about what you should/shouldn't be doing.

Cheese - I think that's really sensible trying to be as healthy as possible. It certainly won't do any harm and it will hopefully make you feel a little better about yourself and a little more in control of things x

Tentatively back as my donor has decided he is able to go ahead this month, although he may pull out.
Ovulation due 16th :)

Mama re sperm I've been wondering the same...

I've read studies and books that say it's best for sperm quality to dtd every 2-3 days ... then I've read (more recent) stuff that says that more recent studies show that dtd every day should not affect it at all. But maybe the advice differs depending on if there are known sperm issues or not, as someone else said? I was on a private fertility clinic Website and it said we recommend people dtd every other day all month (?!) and not rely on fertile windows and OV kits....

I've also read a book which suggested you make sure you dtd regularly and definitely few days before fw to (ahem) 'clear out' old sperm and make sure new batch is fresh :)) !

Who knows eh?!

I'd be scared to just do it every 2-3 days in case I missed the egg totally! Then again every day for a long period is exhausting and I don't think either of us can hack it!

I do worry that we are just not doing it enough times, last month we managed 4 in fertile window and 2 further times that fell just outside of fw as we started too early...

How often does everyone else ?!
X

Link below...

Hi, I know we are all in same boat and want this just as much whether ttc baby #1 or baby #4...! I feel so lucky to have my little boy and feel so much for those who are really finding it hard ttc their first, my heart goes out to you.

So I know it is a bit different when you are ttc a 2nd (or more!) but of course you want it just as much and it can still be hard

.... so i started a thread earlier in case anyone who's ttc #2 wants to also chat to others in same position as well as if the normal bus?

Hope that makes sense, it's lovely talking to you all no matter what your position is and I know no one judging anyone either way xx

Anyone ttc baby #2 in July?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2952287-anyone-ttc-baby-2-in-july

Hi impatient mummy, welcome along, and I know it's just as tough regardless of whether you have none or many kids. I hope some day to be trying for a little bro or sis for this one, and I really hope it doesn't take this long!

I know what you mean about being afraid to only DTD every few days, I'm the same as my cycle varies in length, so it's hard to pinpoint exact ovulation day... When we tried that I think we missed it once or twice.

Could I join please ladies?
Ttc#1
Age:25
Cycle:2
BFP/af due 2nd July

Welcome KerryLou!

Welcome Kerry!

So my donor says he may be unable to help next week so that's another month gone :(

Mayoli when you say he may pull out do you mean literally or figuratively?

Juney sorry to hear that, very frustrating

Cheese I was going to crack a similar joke but decided against it 😂😂😂.

Sorry Juney, that is so frustrating for you x

Ooops... well I figure if we don't laugh we'll cry