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Original poster

Is it super vain to try to plan your due date?

78 replies

OnNaturesCourse · 14/02/2017 09:41

For example my partner and i plan on taking a break from TTC so we dont have a due date over xmas/new year. Had mixed reactions to this decision. 😕 We know we cant control it completely, and the months we miss might have been lucky for our TTC journey.. But i know loads of people born in that 3-4 week period in Dec/Jan and everyone hates it. Anyone else try to plan things like this?

OP posts:
Polska03 · 15/02/2017 18:25

We planned as much as we could with the second, not that theres much you can control. My son was born in May so I didnt want another in May (me and my sister were born 3 years and 5 days apart) or over Christmas/ New year. My next is due the end of June. Its no one elses business to be fair. Unless youve asked for an opinion, but given your reaction it seems these opinions were unwanted

TheNayway1984 · 15/02/2017 18:35

Coming from someone who has a very early Jan birthday I think you are being very considerate!! It's an awful birthday and I would hate my daughter to have to same! My DD has a late July birthday which isn't ideal she's the baby of the class and bump is due on the same day 🙈 sometimes you can plan all you like and these things just happen! Good luck with your baby making!

Rubyboo1 · 15/02/2017 18:36

Due to medication I take but couldnt for the first 4mths of pregnancy we planned our babies so id be without my meds in cooler mths as a side effect of not taking it is skin/heat related. I had April, May &June babies...about 9 wks apart in total. People judged me when they got wind but didnt know the real reason. I did what was right for me with hubbys support...didnt care about future schooling etc. Screw what others think your body,baby & life. X

Lifeonthefarm · 15/02/2017 18:42

Vain? Odd choice of word

giving birth June to October because of our business would be so stressful I would worry about my health, so trying to avoid that if I can. Worked first time around, was very fortunate to have a March baby.

There's nothing wrong with trying to plan, as long as you accept things may not go to plan.

squizita · 15/02/2017 19:17

I had multiple losses and a partial molar AND was diagnosed with raised antiphospholipid antibodies.
TBH after I got the go ahead to try, I didn't bother in November because I couldn't do with the stress over Xmas. Anyway, DD was born late September ie accidental drunken Xmas shag. I know that lots of people not in my boat will say "oh how disgraceful" etc but they haven't been through what I go through in early pregnancy so they can go whistle. The doom 70% risk edging down to 4% risk stress weeks were easier with no bank holidays and full staffing.

You do what you need to do. That's everything. What you need to do to get ahead. Avoiding simplistic platitudes whenever you can.

squizita · 15/02/2017 19:25

Mackeral are you saying every period you let happen is essentially dooming a human to death?
Thats how it reads.

I'm a practising Catholic with miscarriage problems. I have never heard, in my life, even from the how to make babies marriage course, an idea so crazy. By that logic we all killed those babies who would "prefer" to live that bled out of us before we got married and/or had sex.

Honestly, did you phrase that wrongly?

Desiring a baby at the right time for you is NOT killing another baby. Regardless of stance on family planning it just isn't - even people who don't use barriers chart or abstain.
Planning for "another" baby!?!?!

Also as a miscarrier think how nasty that message is for whom "the" baby (as opposed to amother baby) is a dream. The dilemma it throws up.

holygold13 · 15/02/2017 19:27

I think it's perfectly fine.
Although we took a break in Jan as we were meant to be getting married in September. Of course, I am now 7 weeks pregnant. HmmGrin

It will happen when it's meant to happen!Smile

JugglingMuggle · 15/02/2017 19:29

I have children with December and January birthdays. They both love it. I just save all year to deal with Christmas and birthday season

loveinasuitcase · 15/02/2017 19:41

I didn't think about this when I fell pregnant in April and had a Dec baby. My now 13 yr old son doesn't like his birthday so close to Christmas. I don't like it much either for various reasons. When I had IVF for my second child, I had to have my embryos frozen due to hyper stimuliation of my ovaries. I took a three month break to avoid another Dec baby. Restarted the IVF and had my transfer in June and had my daughter in March.

I do not recommend having a Dec/Jan baby.

Sooperkat · 15/02/2017 19:56

DD's birthday is in between Christmas and New Year. I wouldn't have planned it that way but it means there are always people off work to celebrate with!
An earlier commenter said hospital staffing levels might be lower but my experience was that because there were less planned procedures the labour ward was very quiet. I had an (accidental) VBAC instead of my planned section but in the 22 hours I was on the labour ward there was only one csection that came and went and no other births. I had 2 midwives, the registrar and an consultant anaesthetist popping in and out constantly. I know I was probably lucky but it doesn't have to be a negative experience being in at that time of year.

hennaoj · 15/02/2017 20:33

September is a very busy month in maternity units. A lot of people decide to start trying after Christmas. Of course we found this out whilst having my oldest in September!

Moreisnnogedag · 15/02/2017 20:41

I planned to be very heavily pregnant over the winter months so ds1 is december and ds2 march. My mom had given me this tip - worked out well for us!

Oysterbabe · 15/02/2017 20:49

I found it great having a tiny new born in the winter. I was happy to snuggle my baby and watch Netflix while the weather was bad. By the time it was summer she was sitting and weaning so we had many a picnic in the park where she could throw her food everywhere and spare my floor.

Somehowsomewhere · 15/02/2017 21:02

I found it great having a tiny new born in the winter. I was happy to snuggle my baby and watch Netflix while the weather was bad. By the time it was summer she was sitting and weaning so we had many a picnic in the park where she could throw her food everywhere and spare my floor

Agree with this, I much preferred a winter baby to a summer one. We were just coming out of the initial exhausted fog when spring/summer came and it was lovely. She spent the whole summer sitting unaided but didn't crawl until the end of the summer so picnics etc were really easy!

LoveDeathPrizes · 15/02/2017 21:05

I'm a teacher so I did plan for Autumn term babies as they have that bit
longer before school but if it takes a while all of that goes out of the window!

sparechange · 15/02/2017 21:06

Loads of women I work and have worked with do, because the way they calculate maternity leave means they take 3 pay packets, add them together and divide them by 3 and then that's what they pay you per month when you're off
So if one of those 3 months includes a bonus payment, you get a lot more maternity pay

theonlygeorgie · 15/02/2017 21:32

I was hoping for an October baby. I guess I just love that time of year. Just so happens we got an Oct 31st due date. Was my second so i was convinced he'd come earlier, around the 17th... he arrived on 9 Nov Hmm

If we have another I'm going to try and make a May/June baby happen. So no, it's not vain. You gotta do what suits you, nobody else Smile

theonlygeorgie · 15/02/2017 21:35

I found it great having a tiny new born in the winter. I was happy to snuggle my baby and watch Netflix while the weather was bad. By the time it was summer she was sitting and weaning so we had many a picnic in the park where she could throw her food everywhere and spare my floor

This is so true, both mine are winter babies. My second is 3 months and I've just finished the complete box set of Gilmore Girls BrewCakeWink

Figgygal · 15/02/2017 21:38

Ds1 bday is on 22nd December logistically it's a bit of a pest but I'd rather have it then than potentially not have him

DramaAlpaca · 15/02/2017 21:46

I didn't plan for a particular time with my first DC, I was just grateful to be pregnant at last. And if I'd planned the timing with DC2 he wouldn't be so close in age to DC1.

I did plan my pregnancy with DC3. I preferred not to have a July or August baby as I didn't want him to be one of the youngest in his school year like I was. We ended up with a September baby Smile

EssentialHummus · 15/02/2017 21:46

I was born in December and hated it because my bday always fell at the start of the main school holidays (forrin). I'm pregnant and due in September. At first I was relieved (school age) but I'm now a bit apprehensive about going into winter with a newborn, and weirdly I'm getting hung up about how this child will ever have birthday parties if they've barely met their classmates. I'm prone to overthinking.

EssentialHummus · 15/02/2017 21:47

I'd add, there wasn't much planning involved Grin

IndianaMoleWoman · 15/02/2017 21:54

DD1 was due 6th February, born Christmas Eve.

DD2 was born late October. When I went in for my induction I was told there was a three day wait. The midwives said I was lucky she didn't come in September as it's their busiest month and there was a two week wait for inductions for the whole month that had only just cleared.

DH's Birthday always falls around May bank holiday and he hated it as a child because the other kids always had plans with their families.

Every time of year has its pros and cons - you can plan, but it doesn't mean you'll necessarily get what you want.

haveacupoftea · 15/02/2017 23:35

If i had waited a few months id have been entitled to more maternity pay rather than SMP but i wouldnt change a thing. What will be will be but when ttc every cycle counts. You make your choices according to what YOU want though.

SparkyBlue · 16/02/2017 07:11

Both of mine were winter babies and I loved it. OP bear in mind that babies can come early like both of mine did and plans can very quickly come undone.

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