Is this my first BFP?

[RainbowsAndLemonDrops]

I'm sat shaking. We've been trying to conceive in what seems like forever! Is this my first BFP?!

I wouldn't go for dinner with him to be honest. You can't have the conversations you need to have in that environment and you certainly can't pretend it's not happening!

Has he given any reasons for why he feels like this now? He's being really cruel in my opinion!

Sorry I wrote all my last post before reading he already has a daughter. Scrap what I said, he should already know how amazing they are.

I'm so sorry for you.

polly he just keeps saying sorry, he asked if we can still go for dinner tomorrow as he's been looking forward to spending time with me. He's still being so nice and loving, except towards my pregnancy. 

Awww. I know this is so hard for you and you badly want him involved as you love him but it has to be all or nothing because you want this baby. He can't turncoat like this. He needs to know this.

He already has a daughter?! That makes it even weirder.

And to send you abortion links?? What the actual. That, to me, would be very difficult to forgive.

What's he playing at??

As for going for dinner... Hmmm, I'm not sure about that. That's a bit "normal" considering the way he's been acting. Especially as it was a birthday treat for him!

No don't go to dinner. Is he saying I'm sorry and is ok about it now? Or still wants abortion? If latter; wtf planet is he on thinking that you will happily eat and make small talk!

I guess it's possible to get antenatal anxiety like a pregnant woman can - which is what it sounds like a poster has described below (sorry on phone) but it really sounds like he's being a twunt.

You are being amazing keep it up!

Bloody hell Rainbows I posted yesterday congratulating you and I've just caught up today and can't believe what's happened. Chin up beautiful

He's being an absolute c to you don't go to dinner! Hell no!
Tell him to piss off and then go and tell your family you're pregnant they will be much happier for you than he is! What a bastard!

Congratulations on your baby.

I'm gobsmacked about DH. Poor you.

His behaviour is extremely worrying as it's so sudden and extreme. I would be very wary of trusting him around a pregnancy even if he does decide he wants the baby.

Am very sorry it has worked out this way - you must be distraught. Can you confide in anyone in RL? I think you need someone to lean on right now.

I've told him no to dinner. I don't feel up to it and it'll be a waste of money and time. I was supposed to be treating him to the restaurant he's wanted to try for ages. I'd like him to stay at his mums as well tomorrow.

I've cried for hours in bed and finally getting up to get something to eat. All your messages are so lovely and reassuring. I'm not sure how I feel about telling someone in real life, I have lots of people I talk to, go out with and meet up with. Non that I trust which is sad - he's my best friend and the only person I've learnt to trust.

He seems be thawing out a little but I've kept contact short & to the point, I want him to think about the choices he has. Step up and experience this amazing journey with me or as I text him 'get fucked, I'm happy enough for the both of us and I'll do it on my own". But no more abortion links have been sent to me (thank god). ❤

Congratulations on your pregnancy rainbow what an amazing thing to get there after your wait. I'm so sorry your DH has reacted like this, it must hurt so much.

Me and my DH have been trying for a year with no luck too. He's a lovely man but he is very cautious and quite fearful of making decisions. It took us 10 years to get engaged and married and then another year to start trying, I'm 33 now. We had one cycle around 10 months in where I really thought it had happened - I was convinced. DH instantly got cold feet - very scared, have we done the right thing, started pouring out all these worried and insecurities and I had to sit there and reassurance him he hadn't thrown his life away. The next day I went to poas and saw my period had come. Needless to say he was very sheepish and I gave him an earful. I'm hoping if or when it ever does happen he will have learned not to react like that.

It sounds like your DH has gone beyond just fear or worries though. To be sending you links to abortion clinics is absolutely outrageous. I'm really gobsmacked by that.

I think your response to his reaction is spot on and exactly how I would be.

Wishing you a very healthy and happy pregnancy anyway and I hope he comes to his senses and can go some way to making it up to you.

You sound amazing...I'm so so so sorry about your dp. I'm sure he will come round in time but whether or not you can forgive him totally rests with you...and your bump ;) Congratulations x

You arent the first person in this position - honestly, all you hear are the stories of men who are sooo thrilled and happy. You dont hear about the ones who have a less than thrilled reaction, and there are many of them.

Give it a few days to sink in and i'm sure he will come around. He then has a lot of making up to do!

Rainbows I've read the thread and felt I should post and voice my support for you. What a roller coaster of emotion. I am so sorry that your OH has reacted like this in what should be a happy time for you. You sound like a strong person, know that you have lots of support from everyone here and I totally get why you wouldn't want to tell anyone in RL so feel free to vent here. Really hope he continues to 'thaw' and realises the error of his ways and whether you choose to be gracious and forgive or go it alone I wish you all the best xxx

Are you ok OP? How's DH now?

lovechild aww your message just made me well up, thank you

I thought I'd give you an update, we did spend last night apart and I woke up to a few messages from him saying he is so sorry for the way he's treated me, for being so thoughtless and for not considering my feelings. He said he didn't understand why he had such panic and sheer fear come over him when he was really happy to begin with.

He has said he doesn't want to lose me, he wants to be a part of this journey more than anything and wants to come home. I haven't yet replied, I'm glad he's responded but I won't reply immediately. What he did was not in anyway OK, he can sit and ponder a little more.

I also woke up to a large plastic box, filled with edible things I love, prenatal vitamins and a pregnancy week by week book and some flowers. With a plastic sheet over it to stop things getting wet on the doorstep! It must of been the best he could do at silly o'clock this morning.

Thank goodness he has come to his senses!

Awww the box is really sweet, so sorry you had to go through that but glad it was a momentary panic and he's came to his senses. Hopefully the rest of your pregnancy will be happy and stress free xxx

The box is very sweet and thoughtful - I'd be quite cautious too though; he's going to have to really think about things as for you some trust will have gone. But at the same time we are all human and totally overreact at times!

And I'd still not be going to dinner this weekend - maybe later when you're sure he's come to his senses!

The box thing is so sweet!!!

Phew, I was worried for you but looks as though it's given him a boot up the bum how strong you've been. 🌸 hugs x

I'm glad he seems to have seen sense! Hope you're managing to work this out.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope everything goes well for you.

No worries rainbow that's what we are all here for! Sounds like he's had a massive freak out and is now realising the error of his ways! I expect this is more common that we realise but doesn't make it ok! Glad that he is trying to make amends. You have been very nature and sensible about the whole thing, I don't think how I would have been able to handle it so well. Take your time and do what you want, good luck. Xxx

Ok so he acted very bad, but it didn't last long and the box thing is a lovely gesture and a start towards showing how sorry he is.

I really hope things work out for you and that his momentary panic slips in to distant memory with time.

Good luck

Hi there, I'm new to this site. My husband and I have been ttc for about 12 months. After coming off the depo 2 years ago I finally got a positive opk 7 days ago! we done the deed nearly every night, have had a few cramps etc (and I know I should wait a few more days) but I took a cheeky little test this evening and got this. Maybe it's a evap line or maybe...just maybe .

I've loved reading the encouragement from you ladies here...fingers crossed I'll get my bfpsoon xx

red he really is a good guy. I can tell he's sorry and now the initial shock has worn off, he's very excited.

user I do see a little line! I don't have the best eyes so please don't be disappointed if it isn't a BFP. Although it is super early to be testing. I did that and got a very clear BFN, I left it and forgot about it. My first post was the next test I took about 2 weeks later! Good luck & lots of baby dust to you xx