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Original poster

Please knock some sense into me - Ds 3 months old... time for a third?

34 replies

Kif · 24/02/2007 15:31

Anyone got small gaps between kids?
What's it like? Do you recomend it?

I'm breastfeeding - so should be ok - but can't help but notice how me and dh have a conspiracy of being careless with contraception at the moment... chats about 'I wonder what a third would be like'... all the danger signs.

It's a bad idea - right?

On the pro:
*my current babies are luverly - what in the world is better than kids;
*I don't have to decide about working or not - briefly return then another lot of mat leave;
*Edwardian sized families are so cool;
*each baby gets easier, right?

But then again:
*I was really looking forward to letting rip to my vices (laaarge cool Chardonnay for me please - make it a bottle);
*what if something goes wrong? Should we tempt fate?
*Aren't you meant to space pregnancies for health reasons
*will I ever sleep again? Will the fug of exhaustion ever lift?
*will my middle born develop violent tendencies seeking attention
*We'd have to move house, change car

  • I'm still fat! And I'll get FATTER! *was it only three months ago that we swore never again?
OP posts:
3sEnough · 24/02/2007 15:36

The third is hard work...the first year is hideous! After the first year though it's the best thing ever but why don't you wait another couple of months and then decide - as you say bf should help in any case.

FrannyandZooey · 24/02/2007 15:39

Having 3 children under 5 is one of the indicators for being prone to a mental illness

which gives you some idea how stressful it can be

nature does seem to want us to spread our pregnancies out a bit more - in cultures where they breastfeed on cue and for longer periods than we normally do in the West, the gap between children is on average 3 and three quarter years.

Are you old? Is there a good reason not to wait? Have you forgotten this feeling from the last time? (even I had bonkers 3 month post natal broodiness and I am Mrs Child Spacing)

foxtrot · 24/02/2007 15:39

Been there done that, got the muffin top and the eyebags to match. Go for it, it's mad but fun

BuffysMum · 24/02/2007 15:46

my third baby was horrendous ended up with a 4th partly to erase the awfulness of the first 6 months with the 3rd! Only you can decide what you really want to do but a bigger gap would give your body more time to recover a smaller gap is lovely as they grow up.

NAB3 · 24/02/2007 15:46

3 is a lot harder than two but I guess that depends on the age gap for you......

Original poster
Kif · 24/02/2007 15:49

I'm 26 - at this rate my family really will be edwardian....

post natal irrational broodiness?

the deal was always 2+2 . These lo, then a decade off, then same again.

I'm just really enjoying motherhood this time round - more fun with 2 - almost want to play my advantage... Master Kif's unprecedented sweet nature may be lulling me into a false sense of security.

NAB - why 3 harder than 2?

Medically, is there a 'minimum safe gap'? Remember hearing something about uterus needing rest, or something...

OP posts:
BuffysMum · 24/02/2007 15:51

If I had time on my side and not got divorced after the first I'd have done the 2+2 scenario other wise you may end up with 3 big gap +1 and I think 2+2 is probably nicer for them - you don't have to leave a decade between though!

LadyTophamHatt · 24/02/2007 15:53

"*was it only three months ago that we swore never again? "

Ha! I can beat that, it's not even 6 weeks since I had my 4th and he's such a gorgeous bundle of baggy skin and pudginess that I'd do it all again in a heartbeat....and I had a bloody awful PG and birth so to hear myself say that is shocking.

Go for it, wouldn't it be awful if in 3, 4, 5, however many yrs time you regret not having a 3rd and then it's too late to try....

LadyTophamHatt · 24/02/2007 15:55

Oh and BTW, so far going from 3-4 has been the easiest increase in the family....

I'll look forward to the PG annoucmenet from you Kif

NAB3 · 24/02/2007 15:55

Because there are more kids than parents. Because mine were quite close together and had lots going on plus the new baby to contend with. 3 is a lot of kids. Can't always be bothered to go out if I have to get 3 in their seats. It is just a lot of kids!!! DId I mention there is just so many of them?!?!?

Original poster
Kif · 24/02/2007 15:56

I didn't get broody after the first (Dd) following six month vomiting until I felt like I was turned inside out.

Boys rule

OP posts:
BuffysMum · 24/02/2007 15:59

Going from 2 to 3 is a bigger shift you can't do the things you used to do where you took along your 2 children suddenly everything does revolve around the children. Not sure if that is well explained but there is more than one child each to look after when you do stuff/go places that aren't geared up for families. The shift of 3 to 4 went unnoticed tbh!

Original poster
Kif · 24/02/2007 16:00

More seriously - did you feel your existing dcs lost out? Were they upset? Would young master kif get ignored and forgotten about if there was a 'new kid on the block' before he could even walk?

OP posts:
lockets · 24/02/2007 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

zephyrcat · 24/02/2007 16:31

I like 3. It's just enough.

That said I've just found I'm pg with twins so am looking at 5 under 6 and absolutley crapping myself! But 3 is good

LadyTophamHatt · 24/02/2007 16:48

BLoody hell zephycat....is that a new announcment on here??

Congratulationms

NAB3 · 24/02/2007 16:52

I feel my eldest misses out but I asked him even though he has less time with Mummy now he has two siblings would he rather have them than not and he said yes. In fact he wants me to have more children. Earlier on the eldest two were playing on the computer with Daddy and I felt the little one was left to himself a bit. (I was in the kitchen prepping food for our dinner).

zephyrcat · 24/02/2007 17:41

Hi LTH I've known about a week or so and there are several threads dotted about in sheer panic!! It's been a hell of a week!

LadyTophamHatt · 24/02/2007 17:46

I think it's FAB news.....going from 3-4 has been a breeze so far so 3-5 can't be that much different

Really pleased for you, congratulations again

3sEnough · 24/02/2007 17:46

Blimey Zeph - congratulations! Yup - 3 is just enough for me too as I'd want to bury a least one of us under the patio if another came along!

zephyrcat · 24/02/2007 17:50

Thanks (LTH did I mention that dd2 is only 10 months old? Help!! No really, is it easier than it sounds??)

3sEnough · 24/02/2007 17:51

Hey - you'll hardly notice I'm sure! Just keep the G&T well stocked and you'll be fine.

LadyTophamHatt · 24/02/2007 17:53

Yikes!! I knew you'd had a baby relatively recently but thought it was longer ago than 10 months.

I here triple buggies are all the rage nowadays

Ds4 is almost 6 weeks so I'm not exactly taling from months of experinece but honestly, so far 4 has been easy.

LadyTophamHatt · 24/02/2007 17:54

actually ...I hear triple buggies.....

Olihan · 24/02/2007 17:59

I'm 8 weeks into having 3 and so far it's been far easier than when I had my second. I've got 19 months between ds1 and dd, and 16 months between dd and ds2. Ds2 was born 3 days before ds1's 3rd b'day.

I was worried about the strain I was putting on y body with 3 pgs in 3 years but I had another v easy pg and 2.5 hour delivery so it didn't seem to make any difference.

My babies have also been very placid and cheerful - no colic/reflux/wind/excess crying, etc and so far ds2 is the same, in fact he's probably the easiest newborn out of the 3.

2 under 12/13 months would be hard but you'd manage - I think Nemo has that gap between her 2nd and 3rd.

Zephyrcat, I want a 4th and dh is saying no just in case we have twins as it would mean we'd have 5 under 5 if we left a similar gap after ds2!!