Please knock some sense into me - Ds 3 months old... time for a third?

[Kif]

Anyone got small gaps between kids?
What's it like? Do you recomend it?

I'm breastfeeding - so should be ok - but can't help but notice how me and dh have a conspiracy of being careless with contraception at the moment... chats about 'I wonder what a third would be like'... all the danger signs.

It's a bad idea - right?

On the pro:
*my current babies are luverly - what in the world is better than kids;
*I don't have to decide about working or not - briefly return then another lot of mat leave;
*Edwardian sized families are so cool;
*each baby gets easier, right?

But then again:
*I was really looking forward to letting rip to my vices (laaarge cool Chardonnay for me please - make it a bottle);
*what if something goes wrong? Should we tempt fate?
*Aren't you meant to space pregnancies for health reasons
*will I ever sleep again? Will the fug of exhaustion ever lift?
*will my middle born develop violent tendencies seeking attention
*We'd have to move house, change car

• I'm still fat! And I'll get FATTER!
  *was it only three months ago that we swore never again?
  
  
  

[lucy5]

I would wait a while as I have got really broody shortly after being pregnant both times and I have a six year gap!

[foxybrown]

14 months between first 2 (I was breast feeding - don't be fooled!) but we planned it that way. 22 months between 2 and 3, now expecting no 4, so will have largest gap of 30 months. Kids now 5, 4, 2 and due end June. I love it. Its hard to create 1:1 time with each of them, but we try to do it.

I also found 1 to 2 children really hard, 2 to 3 easier, but because I'd had a bigger gap I had time to lose weight and feel good about myself, before feeling crap and pregnant again. Not necessarily a good thing. Am confident going from 3 to 4, tho I'm not expecting it to be easy. Part of reason to do it so close together was that I didn't think I could go back to sleepless nights, so just stayed with them! Can just get all 3 into car. Its all do-able! Good luck

[belgo]

Kif - after dd2, I wanted to try for another fairly quickly. But my dh insisted we waited and I'm so glad we have - dd1 is 3 and dd2 is 18 months and we've been really enjoying the time we're having with them, and looking forward to having a third at some point in the not too distant future (we hope).

[kittywaitsfornumber6]

Kif, I am due my 6th in 3 weeks. My eldest is 8. I have had a gap of 14 months between the first 2 and there will be that gap again between the baby and new baby. It is REALLY hard work.
There is nothing fluffy and nice about it.
Being heavily pregnant and looking after a baby and other children is physically and emotionally crucifying and not something to be under taken lightly.
Before you make a decision you need to know in you heart whether you are physically and emotionally strong enough and whether your relationship is strong enough too. Sorry to bring a bit of a downer on it, but it's very tough and you need to be very sure. I planned to have all my children and there are many aspects which are really great, but's it's tough nonetheless.

[luxlife]

i do worry about numbers when i think that pregnancy and baby stage is only a short period of ours and their lives. how about having 3, 4, 5 teenagers or adults around? scary could be...

[Olihan]

I'm a size 16/18 and have been the same size and weight since before my first pg. I tend to lose all the pg weight within a month after the birth but then never lose any more! I think it depends on you and your body/ metabolism tbh.

[fortyplus]

When I had ds1 I wanted a small gap and was told not to get pg until he was at least 9 months or I would knacker myself - especially bad for the back, apparently.

Friend who is HV says she would say 12 months.

[nogoes]

Kif, I have read that that it is recommended that you wait a minimum of 6 months before trying to conceive and preferably 18 months.

[Kif]

ha ha - congtrats zephyrcat!

And how about the fat issue?

Will I turn into 'Big Momma'?

I'm fairly chunky at best of times - currently 80 kg about size 14. With Dd dropped the weight suddenly at a year and hit size 10 again. If I'm preggers by ds being 1 y.o. does the weight gain go on top of existing overweightness?

[Olihan]

I'm 8 weeks into having 3 and so far it's been far easier than when I had my second. I've got 19 months between ds1 and dd, and 16 months between dd and ds2. Ds2 was born 3 days before ds1's 3rd b'day.

I was worried about the strain I was putting on y body with 3 pgs in 3 years but I had another v easy pg and 2.5 hour delivery so it didn't seem to make any difference.

My babies have also been very placid and cheerful - no colic/reflux/wind/excess crying, etc and so far ds2 is the same, in fact he's probably the easiest newborn out of the 3.

2 under 12/13 months would be hard but you'd manage - I think Nemo has that gap between her 2nd and 3rd.

Zephyrcat, I want a 4th and dh is saying no just in case we have twins as it would mean we'd have 5 under 5 if we left a similar gap after ds2!!

[LadyTophamHatt]

actually ...I hear triple buggies.....

[LadyTophamHatt]

Yikes!! I knew you'd had a baby relatively recently but thought it was longer ago than 10 months.

I here triple buggies are all the rage nowadays

Ds4 is almost 6 weeks so I'm not exactly taling from months of experinece but honestly, so far 4 has been easy.

[3sEnough]

Hey - you'll hardly notice I'm sure! Just keep the G&T well stocked and you'll be fine.

[zephyrcat]

Thanks (LTH did I mention that dd2 is only 10 months old? Help!! No really, is it easier than it sounds??)

[3sEnough]

Blimey Zeph - congratulations! Yup - 3 is just enough for me too as I'd want to bury a least one of us under the patio if another came along!

[LadyTophamHatt]

I think it's FAB news.....going from 3-4 has been a breeze so far so 3-5 can't be that much different

Really pleased for you, congratulations again

[zephyrcat]

Hi LTH I've known about a week or so and there are several threads dotted about in sheer panic!! It's been a hell of a week!

[NAB3]

I feel my eldest misses out but I asked him even though he has less time with Mummy now he has two siblings would he rather have them than not and he said yes. In fact he wants me to have more children. Earlier on the eldest two were playing on the computer with Daddy and I felt the little one was left to himself a bit. (I was in the kitchen prepping food for our dinner).

[LadyTophamHatt]

BLoody hell zephycat....is that a new announcment on here??

Congratulationms

[zephyrcat]

I like 3. It's just enough.

That said I've just found I'm pg with twins so am looking at 5 under 6 and absolutley crapping myself! But 3 is good

[Kif]

More seriously - did you feel your existing dcs lost out? Were they upset? Would young master kif get ignored and forgotten about if there was a 'new kid on the block' before he could even walk?

[BuffysMum]

Going from 2 to 3 is a bigger shift you can't do the things you used to do where you took along your 2 children suddenly everything does revolve around the children. Not sure if that is well explained but there is more than one child each to look after when you do stuff/go places that aren't geared up for families. The shift of 3 to 4 went unnoticed tbh!

[Kif]

I didn't get broody after the first (Dd) following six month vomiting until I felt like I was turned inside out.

Boys rule

[NAB3]

Because there are more kids than parents. Because mine were quite close together and had lots going on plus the new baby to contend with. 3 is a lot of kids. Can't always be bothered to go out if I have to get 3 in their seats. It is just a lot of kids!!! DId I mention there is just so many of them?!?!?