Hut of Gl/Doom tercera- We hate babydust and we don't care.

[duchesse]

I'm imaging this one as more of an Eeyore stick hut type thing. Maybe Eeyore is actually still in residence.

Duchesse you are not needy. I really empathise with your post, I feel very similar about my crap body.
I will be in the Hut more often from now on following my second m/c last week.
It's sometimes hard to jump in when you are not on everyday, but I will make more of an effort to keep up to keep me sane.

Duchesse I really feel for you as I've just had a chemical pg, like you have, following 2 m/c. I had 2 x DS before all of this, I feel like fate has really got it in for me, because with this pg I had the chance to inject with blood thinning drugs to help prevent m/c, but they wouldn't have made the slightest difference as like you the egg fertilised, but wouldn't have implanted for a variety of reasons.
I have also had several of these "late periods" in the past, but hadn't known that I was pg because I hadn't tested, although I strongly suspected once between my two boys.
Feeling for you, because I know how cheated you feel-it's amazing how you can have planned your maternity leave and about the next ten years of the baby's life in those few days whilst you were pg!

Duchesse-Also meant to say that if it is any consolation your body wouldn't have killed the babies from these delayed periods, they wouldn't have developed into babies.
As my body did kill the babies with my first two m/cs, I found it a help psychologically to know this-hope it helps you.

Oh Duchesse, poor you. I'm sorry you're feeling so crap.

I think you're very brave for even opening the other TTC threads! I can't even acknowledge their presence when I scan the thread index. As for the antenatal threads LAH LAH LAH.

Dear Duchesse you can be as needy as you want in here with us, after all you have done the same for us and we should all share and support each other as we hit those big brick walls - sometimes at 100mph! You can't be sure that it has happened that many times as your ovulation may have occured late due to stress or something else (trying to put a logical wise owl spin on this)- as others have said, is there any chance of any other tests. I read somewhere about antibody checks? or scanning of the uterus after ovulation to see what is occuring? - you could maybe see if they would do this next time you are late? I too have had late periods in the past but now that Im keeping annual records (v ) I can now see that there is an annual pattern of being late in the spring and the autumn....weird.... as for scanning the other threads no way ! too scary...

I think it's the thyroid problem that is doing for them- there a strong risk of neurological impairment, premature birth, stillbirth and miscarriage, including very early ones. I think it happens because the body's need for thyroxine rises sharply in pregnancy, and my struggling thyroid can't keep up. For what its worth, my miscarried at 13 weeks foetus almost certainly had a neurological problem which may or may not have been connected to the dodgy thyroid.

i keep torturing myself by visisting the antenatal thread from my ep. dhs bfs dw gave birth today, a little boy. and im broken hearted. she was due the same time as my 2nd mc and we'd joked about being in hospital together. instead shes holding her new son and ive got a big f off scar on my belly.

so can they do anything duchesse?

So sorry to hear is there nothing your consultant can do? Are you on medication already for your thyroid? Sorry for asking so many questions - its just Ive read a number of posts recently re. thyroid issues and pregnancy and I have always thought that Ihad an underactive thyroid cos I had put on so much weight since 35 for no apparent reason! But all the tests came back clear - it would have made my "unexplained infertility" explainable.... Is your gp any help??

Oh LL you should stay clear of the threads even though they draw you like sirens! Steer clear and stay with us in the HUT or start your own! I must admit that I lurk from time to time and then worry myself sick - cos even if you do get a BFP it doesnt stop the worrying there...does it! so many things can happen that I truely believe giving birth is nothing short of a miracle even if it does happen to millions of women every day!

the more i read the more i think that having babies is the most dangerous thing youll ever do. i know that even without my ep i would have died having ds 50y ago!

You've really been through the mill, Lissie. It is a dangerous business really.

LateNightOwl- I started a thread in the Conception topic about the thyroid and infertility thing. The thing is, there are many people who are borderline hypothyroid without realising it. Your GP may have loked at your results, thought, "Bah, fine, only just underperforming", and failed to take note of the fact that your TSH might give you fertility problems. Does your GP know that you are trying to conceive?

She ought to, as even a mildly underperforming thyroid (ie one deemed "sublclinically" abnormal- ie not enough to cause symptoms) can cause the problems I outlined below. The test they do is a TSH test.

If your TSH level is anything over 2, you should ask for further investigation. If you have the symptoms of thyroid problems, but the test show you as "fine" (quote marks used b/c every person's personal levels are different, and the test is but a crude judge of how fcked someone's thyroid really is), I recommend that you ask what your levels are. Make a note of them, and use Dr Google and the various excellent websites I can provide you with to judge whether you are actually hypothyroid without exceeding the NHS's necessary fckedness level. It can still affect your fertility substantially.

Fo example, my TSH level is 5.05, but I suspect from the way I used to be that it has risen a lot, and my T4 level of 14 something is actually very low for me. GPs do not understand the endocrine system- it is all very finely balanced, and very complicated. They have little ability to distinguish between what's normal and what's not without their little books. Bottom line re thryoid is: if you have the symptoms, then you probalby are no matter what the test results throw up. Keep plugging away at them and good luck.

Anyone out to play today?
My sil (also one of my bf's) had a baby at the weekend, a little girl. I am so pleased for them, and the baby is gorgeous, but I should be pg now, I should be 17 weeks and I know I would/should be able to feel movement by now (pathetically weak tummy muscles!!) I hate the kind of split personality I suffer at times like this.......

Oh FFS, in most other women, big boobs and feeling sick would make them excited that they could be pregnant. For me, it just means my period is on its way. I got caught out with the excited feeling a few months ago when that first happened and was not impressed when I wasn't pregnant.

So even though I'm not due till the end of the week, I am trying not to think about it too much now.

Who am I trying to kid? Even though I know the chances are remote this month, doesn't stop me thinking of it every 30 seconds.

Greetings to all those feeling crap today.

You know what - I'm finding it really hard to go into town or into environments where there are lots of people, as the number of newborn babies being wheeled around seems designed just to torment me. I'm sure the more desperate I become, the more babies are wheeled into my view.

Most of my friends are pregnant too.

Will stay in for the rest of my life.

Funny you say that cos I never used to feel sick prior to the last two cycles (pre period I mean) and now it seems like a cruel glimmer of hope. I'm wondering if it's psychological cos I want to be pg

Yes it seems like everyone's shooting out sprogs with no effort at all
And they're always whinging, about their m/s, how fat they are, baby not sleeping properly, or it's just puked all over their Dolce & Gabbana top. Grr!!! Stop yer moaning you ungrateful cows, AT LEAST YOU'VE GOT ONE, and didn't have to go to hell and back to have it like some of the lasses here!

agree, hate the woman that ive become. the old lissie died on the operating table and the new one sobs whenever someone announces a pg ("we wanted to wait til 3m to tell anyone") or a new arrival ("oh, im so tired") i feel like everyone else is having my babies iykwim

I think having babies is in reality way more difficult than anyone ever tells you. People don't publicise the bad stuff so you go into the whole thing with this idea that it will all be fine and are then shocked when it isn't. I was pretty amazed when only one of 6 people in my antenatal class had a completely intervention free childbirth. 3 of us were induced, 1 had a c-section and 1 had third degree tearing so had to have surgery afterwards.

How are you, lissie?

physically ok now, i was in so much pain for the last 2y and thats gone. but my 2nd mc was due this month and everyones having their babies at the mo, still see consultant next month, so hopefully will get sorted, still looking into sueing the hospital tho!

how are you?

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better physically. How are your two boys?

I'm alright at the moment, but nervous... So is dh. We have good days and bad days which I guess is inevitable. Think my first m/c would have been due around about now/March - never knew my edd which is good in some ways, but can't help thinking from time to time about what might have been...

I used to practise law, not medical negligence or personal injury admittedly, but if you want a hand drafting a letter or anything, let me know...

that would be v good thanks. my boys are ok ta. youll be ok hun

I've just heard back from the EPAC, they've got the histology results from the sample they took from me when I had the internal exam during my m/c, whe went into this long spiel about why they did and I was scared sh!tless she was going to tell me they found some horrible thing that mean there was something really wrong, and it turned out that it wasn't tissue they sampled and they wanted me to go in for a PG test! FFS, what the heel for? Anyhoo, I told the nurse that rang that I had my period last week and that dh and I were actively ttc, and that i'd done several pg tests with were all neg before period started.
No way am I going to want another test not, wtf would be the point???

Mumpbump were you in our NCT class? The stats were exactly the same! We were (very luckily) the only non-intervention birth. A homebirth indeed, which was beautiful and straightforward and just perfect. My medic friends went bananas when they heard we were planning that but we believed birth is a natural thing, and we're v close to a major birthing hospital so felt the backup was there. Now I think we were very lucky indeed: I have heard so many horror stories since ds was born! If dp gets pregnant again (see me really not believing now that it'll ever be me...) I should rationally think that her healthy pregnancy and birth the first time round would make her a good candidate for another, but actually I now feel that we jammily got away with the first one and we'd be idiots to take that risk again!

It's a shame really. I always imagined giving birth in a field somewhere, feeling the sun on my back and hearing birds and the kindly eyes of does and rabbits as they identified with my amazing act of female nature. I am obviously delusional.

catababy... why do they want you to do another test??? they really do live in another world dont they!

impatience... lol, i think thats how we all imagine it, but they lied!

I know, just very confused... but resolved not to worry about it.