SQUARE ONE TO GRADUATES! Over here! Let's go find those BFPS!

[MotherOfBeagles]

Hi ladies!

Sorry I didn't want to lose you all as at the in law weekend so thought I'd start a new one!

Roll over thread

Cd1 of cycle 8

Ah nim missed your post there. I'm so excited for you. Also that's sounds steep for an early scan! Whereabouts in the country do you live? I'm in the northwest and when I was looking I found them for like £40.

That's interesting about DTD in 2ww! I never do these days because I worry about it disrupting implantation! So silly 🤦🏼‍♀️
You're DTD dates around ovulation look great tho, I feel very encouraged as I did exactly the same plus an o-4!
I paid £99 for my 8 week scan. I think it's worth it, but glad I've been offered it for free next time x

Oh crap Beagles, I'm so sorry 😔 xx

Sorry beagles ** disappointed for you. Hope your man is being caring for you.

Counselling I thought went ok, did feel was mainly aimed at him. Got to say how I felt over Christmas etc.. but still can't get my head round the fact that he thought this was reasonable behaviour. Anyway was positive whilst we were there, but came home and he ignored me and went to bed. Men eh!

Tomorrow's a new day..

Glad it went ok footy not ideal behaviour when he got home but it's the first session I suppose give him a bit of space to process and see how he is tomorrow. You deserve a medal for your strength over the last couple of weeks, seriously

Also yeah a bit down but starting to see definite patterns so whilst it sucks ive had so many chances to see the patterns I'm now pretty sure what the pattern is for AF - two to three days of lower temp, either over the top cramps or nothing, swollen sore boobs, increased appetite and increased sex drive and javelin arse day off! Lol sorry for the crudeness but I love that term.

All of the above are like clockwork before each AF I've got recorded.

Hmmm, naughty of him to be off like that after, but agree with Beagles, he's probably processing and digesting it all. Really admire your perseverance and dedication to your marriage xx

Beagles I've never heard that term?! What does it mean?!

It's when you get a stabbing pain up from your rectum to lower abdomen. Usually a sharp short shock. And feels like someone's shoved a javelin or pointy jousting sword up your backside. It's a common symptom of things like endometriosis but also seen in AF and pregnancy.

It's basically a spasm of your rectum and lower abdomen.

But by Christ it can hurt.

It's when you get a stabbing pain up from your rectum to lower abdomen. Usually a sharp short shock. And feels like someone's shoved a javelin or pointy jousting sword up your backside. It's a common symptom of things like endometriosis but also seen in AF and pregnancy.

It's basically a spasm of your rectum and lower abdomen.

But by Christ it can hurt.

And the app is a knob and published it twice sorry.

Beagles /tee i use to get that pain before I had children. My periods since are much lighter. Ha ha never heard of that term before but it made me chuckle.

Yeah I am starting to wonder if things will ever be right. He wants a bigger house, another baby too but is not willing to change his pattern of behaviour. He slips into an arrogant, selfish angry temper when he doesn't get his way. I'm not perfect, I have insecurities, have a soft heart and hedgehog backwards when things get tough which has allowed this cycle of behaviour to happen. I married him, I knew, but had a hope he would change and become softer. He's not all bad- he can be loving and thoughtful. that's the trouble ! otherwise I think I would have just let him go for good.

It's going to be a long slog.. but "hopefully" we will get there. Can't say we're ttc right now, but not preventing. I can't take pill anymore and he won't use any protection so it's all in Gods hands. Stupidly I took the clomid for couple of days as things had improved, before it crashed again, so will continue today and then I'm going to knock it on head until we are seriously trying.

Hope you are felling ok today beagles.

Oh yes I know the one! Think someone else on here once called it lightening vagina! ⚡️

Think you are right Footy, better to work through these things carefully and considerately, and find real permanent ways to get to where you want to be together. It will take time, but it sounds like you are both prepared to invest that which is a great start. x

Sorry beagles maybe being poorly is making it take a little longer. Are you starting to feel better? Are you getting plenty of rest, water, vitamins etc?

Great news nim thanks for sharing. Everything crossed for a healthy pregnancy now

Glad counselling went well footy please don't take any crap off him

I get that javelin pain when I'm on AF and need a number 2!

Things not great over here. DH and I had difficult conversations last night and I didn't get much sleep. To be honest girls I'm just not coping very well. I'm very low and weepy most of the time. I feel like I'm only just holding it together. So him upsetting me is just the final straw.

We DTD this morning but I feel like it's pointless. We are not getting pregnant. Cycle 14 now and nothing, ever.

Haven't bothered with any OPK s yet, just losing will.

Well there was certainly some catching up to do this morning!! Javelin arse how funny!!

Congratulations nim it is so good to see a BFP on here!!

Tee - I'm still unusually crampy and very moody (watch out everyone!). I've had the conceive plus a while and only used it ad hoc not really paying attention but this cycle used it all the time properly so will let you know how it pans out! Certainly worth a try although not cheap for the size of the bottle but like I said you don't need too much! I work for the ambulance service as a trainer in simulation - not clinical but qualified teacher so they want me to now learn to drive the big vehicles.

Thanks for the tip footy and I think the others are right, from what I've experienced with counselling it gets a bit worse before it gets better as the initial issues are processed - I hope in time he improves for you but good on you for voicing how he made you feel and your commitment to your marriage x

So sorry AF got you beagles how rubbish. Good that you are picking up on patterns though x

So I'm having 'one of those days' today probably hormonal in the run up to AF - some close friends of ours are having their 12 week scan today so pleased for them but a little sad for myself as they fell when we lost and feeling selfish because of it.

Also our offer wasn't accepted on the house and failed the driving test as it was one of those days yesterday too - onwards and upwards hey ☺!!

footy I really hope things start to improve. When he's not being as stubborn does he say he is willing to work at improving? How's things gone this morning?

jam have you spoken with the doc about how you're feeling? It's normal to a struggle but if you're feeling that low maybe they could help?

kiki sounds like you're having a right week of it! Sorry about the test and the house and the friends scan. Definitely deserve lol. I'm sure things will pick up for you.

Feeling a bit better today but I've been off work since Thursday since not sleeping so dreading going back tomorrow. I work in education so being off and looking after yourself is equal to murdering the neighbourhood pets in many people's opinions. AF heavy and uncomfortable and really starting to worry about the amount of JA I'm getting it used to just be a bit but now it's pretty much all day. All the things I'm reading on google (I know stupid me) are banging on about endometriosis

I have like 3 "levels" of cousins, we were born in a 20 year period but usually within 5 years of each other. So the oldest lot the first level were born in the years 1-5, second lot about years 8-13 and the last lot around years 15-20 of that makes any sense.

My youngest cousin from the second lot just sent me the 12 week scan from his pregnant girlfriend. They weren't trying. I burst into tears. I'm a horrible person. I'm angry that they weren't trying and in my head he's still a baby! Barely 21!

Sorry about the offer and your driving test kiki , I can completely understand you feeling sad at your friends scan too. Hope your day has improved

Beagles I cried on the doctor when I saw her, to be honest I think it's probably quite common and normal for long term TTC and infertility to make people feel very low. I will rally, sometimes it gets to me more than others

Hope everyone doing well

Still not started full AF yet, now cd20.

Thinking of maybe trying an epo supplement but I've always had short cycles and got pregnant easily last time (5 years ago).

Morning all,
Jam, sorry to hear you're feeling so low. If I remember rightly you have your appointment for the fertility unit coming up. Hopefully going through that process will renew your energy. I'm sure they will offer some extra help that'll boost your morale. I know that every month that goes by, it's like a little bit more if your soul is taken! We plough on, it will happen, by hook or by crook we will get there.
Kiki how are you getting on in 2ww. I'm still crampy! 10dpo so would expect implantation to have completed by now if successful, had stabbing pains in my left boob last night which is unusual. No sign of a bloody nose tho, and I'm sure I had that with every previous pregnancy. We wait!! Anything to note from your side?
Oh Beagles I totally get it. So many people I know fell 'unexpectedly' last year. It does feel unfair after so long TRYING! My poor friend lost her pregnancy this week (she was the one who made the very cautious/sensitively put announcement to me at New Year). It did make me sad and reminded me again just how fragile pregnancy is. In my 20's I didn't really hear much about infertility & pregnancy loss. Now in my thirties (today marks the start of my last year saying 'early thirties' - 34th bday!) I hear these sad stories all the time. But then the statistics speak for themselves I guess, don't know why I ever thought it was uncommon!!
Footy, hope all good with you my love, when is your next counselling booked for? Assume you have a course?
DuRez I've heard good things about epo.

Sorry to hear about your friend tee ☹️ I had no idea how common mc is either, and just expected to get pregnant quickly and easily. It really feels like it's never going to happen for me, and I'm already scared that if it does I'll miscarry. It's incredible how easy it can be and how difficult it can be.

Hoping you get your nosebleed!

I'm day 14 keeping an eye on the OPK s

Oh beagles I am sorry it's such a mixed bag of emotions isn't it on the one hand it really isn't fair and why can't that happen for us and on the other hand the guilt of having those thoughts. Keep your chin up those bfps are out there for all of us xx

Thanks jam - we got sent the scan pictures from our friends and my other half pointed out the relief that they didn't have to go through what we did with our scan which made me feel more happy for them that actually it would be awful if anything bad happened so had a good excited chat with them. Just hope we fall soon so we can have babies close in ages. Sounds like we are all feeling it a bit at the moment - glad we have each other xx

Also hope all is well footy - how is the dh?

Happy birthday tee!! I hope you have something fabulous planned?
Sorry to hear about your friend - it's awful I hope she will be OK x
I think implantation can happen up to day 12 but fingers crossed for that nosebleed for you!! I've been really achy with the odd cramp almost to the point of getting a hot water bottle which is more than usual (but I don't know if that's because I'm watching for it) and Monday night I could not get warm for love nor money - went to bed and slept the night with two sets of PJs which is weird (unless I was just feeling sorry for myself after a bad day!) But last night back to the usual night sweats... Other than that just very emotional! Who knows! When are you testing?
Xx

I agree with you all I didn't know much about infertility or pregnancy loss u till we started trying and went through it why is it still a taboo subject?

Hie ladies. Sorry have been awol. It has been a hectic start to the year but here is hoping the best for everyone .loads to catch up on!!

Happy birthday tee 🎉🎊🎉🎂.hope you have a lovely day and a bfp present around the corner .sorry about your friend hey .

Sorry for af beagles.this ttc is not easy but fx for better luck this month. Hope your oh's birthday was a blast. Mine was on the 6th and l turned a miserable 36 with lots of bfns on her shoulder .

Sending you hugs jam and lots of luck my friend. Hope you feel better soon and you get that most wanted bfp soon hun.

Congrats nim.lts nice to come back to some good news. Praying for your sticky bean.

Waves to everyone new and old. Reading back now and will hopefully respond to all.l am somewhere in my cycle lol but hoping af never turns up

Hi ladies, hope our dreams all come true soon. It's such an horrible experience all this waiting. It feels like the cycles are going slower and just full of disappointment. We must not give up. Keep climbing that mountain. It's a huge thing and has so much impact on our lives and that's just ttc , it continues throughout.

Sorry you are all having a bad time of it lately.. I too wish things were simple in life. Sorry to hear your fears, trials and hardships. Lots of let downs already in January. I have been catching up on clomid board and so many of them have had miscarriages too, one with twins.. so so sad. It's not easy.

H still being the same..feel like the damage it is causing is just increasing. Had a very unsettled 7yr old last night who was tearful and questioning things at home. Says I don't look happy anymore and he's sad. At that point I broke down. I am trying to be strong but it's sucking the life out of me. Hard to hide it from boys as I have to do all the things I usually do and put on a cheerful mummy when really I just want to stay in bed and cry my heart out. I make all the pack lunches with the boys so making "h" lunch when I'm not being acknowledged or even a thankyou is difficult. They would say why u not doing daddy's lunch?! So I'm doing all these things but right now I'm not sure he deserves that ham cheese pickle sandwich, with homemade flapjacks but some rodent waste with some stones and grit in.
He says he loves me, so giving it a go.. so we will see. Next session tee is next Monday. I said I'd try so I will, I'll fight for it, if it fails after all this effort then at least I can say I tried everything.

You girls are great had so many good wishes from you all and lovely gifts from dear friends to cheer me up. I so appreciate your advice and ears.. hoping one day it will b a distant memory all this hardship and we can get on an share our baby moments.