Lights twinkle, it's icy cold outside, 'tis the season of Yuletide, come and join us - yes you! For this is JS62!

[Ain626]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a <strong>Kitten</strong> = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a <strong>hooya</strong> = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing a <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 61 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2701794-Planet-viroid-a-spiritual-home-for-all-of-the-shaggers-Its-JS-61-this-is-going-to-be-the-big-one?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2768810-come-hither-upduffed-viroids-here-we-will-hold-your-hand-through-scans-rejoice-at-your-hairy-shins-and-of-course-share-your-lust-over-ian-mcshane-it-s-js-grads-48" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2588689-we-re-still-teething-trying-to-wean-and-our-babies-just-won-t-go-to-sleep-when-we-re-trying-to-js-for-another-one-it-s-just-mumming-no-11" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

jessy is Jamaica Zika free?

Oh no, good spot kwick and jessy Jamaica seems to be high-risk for Zika: www.gov.uk/guidance/zika-virus-country-specific-risk#atoz

We had a scare when planning IVF process (OH was going abroad but turned out no risk of Zika) and they wouldn't do it for 6 months if you go to a zika zone. As well as the risk to the woman, which I am not too clued up on, there is possibility of the male getting it - it's not detectable or treatable - and can affect their sperm production so have to wait until any affected sperm is out of the system, so to speak, so that's why the 6-month wait.

If he's in the military and travelling a lot please read up on it.

Sorry to be a huge downer but have just had this 'scare' ourselves.

and by 'affect their sperm production' I mean their sperm could carry potential for birth defects if you get pregnant.

Thanks girls, I will research it. If it's going to be an issue I will start using condoms now and carry on TTC later x

I wouldn't personally go to any Zika risk country while TTC or pregnant. We have postponed our honeymoon because of this actually.

AF due tomorrow. Feeling very pre menstrual. Also been struck with norovirus for 2 days. Fun fun.

tri that happened to me a few weeks ago. Witch rocked up an hour before we were due to leave for swimming.

We've discussed and decided to change destination (not sure where yet) even though I'm not actually pregnant it's just not worth it!

We're sticking to Europe for the moment holiday wise - looking at a week somewhere hot in early October for hubby's birthday, a week in Ireland in late May visiting family and probably a city break along the way too. The thought of more than 3-4 hours on a plane with a lanky lap infant isn't the best tbh, particularly if I'm upduffed by the time we get some heat!

That's sensible jessy. I think the advice is to wait 6 months after going to a zika risk country before trying so you would be delaying ttc for a long time.

Cd2 here, af arrived yesterday.

Delurking to join the zika chat - Dh has just been to Indonesia on a work trip and it's moderate risk for zika, so WHO advice is to use condoms for rest of pregnancy! Which seems very OTT but I am paranoid so condoms it is for the next 17 weeks.... having said that I know other people who are off to Thailand while pregnant which I personally couldn't do, would just be too stressed. (My obstetrician was not terribly bothered though as he says he hasn't seen any zika/microcephaly at all, even in returning travellers.)

I hope you are all doing OK ladies particularly those of you who are post-mc, thinking of you often - hang in there and shag away when you are ready! proffers as yet small bump to rub for luck

Hello

I've been rubbish I'm sorry. I think I'm generally just a bit rubbish since having DS.

Popping back on to wish you all lots of love and luck. I had a bfp on Monday. I'm terrified but I'm feeling positive so I'm hoping this one will stick.

Zika - agree with everyone saying don't go to zika countries if ttc. I researched it last year when dh was going for work. Best be safe than worrying about it.

Sending you all lots of baby vibes. I'm sorry or being crap in general.

Congratulations la such good news fx for a sticky one!

Laaaa!!!!! Waaaaa!!!! Congrats on the bfp, I'm chuffed to bits for you! Gx for a sticky one.

Not much to report here. Anyone due to test soon?

Ahhhhhhhhh congratulations la!

Not me singing - cd6 here and for the sake of dodging a Christmas baby and getting the marathon out of the way we're most likely out this month.

What marathon are you doing TriJo? I'm doing London so not sure whether to ttc this cycle (I would probably ov about 2 weeks before marathon day) or to wait. We have been putting it off since Aug as it is! Also need to wait for gynae sign off to ttc (joy!) and the appointment is not yet forthcoming so the decision may be out of our hands!

Hope everyone is okay. Congrats on the BFPs and promotions! for those with the witch. I thought i was going to have lovely regular cycles post partum as I had three 35 day cycles, last was was 40 though so ho hum.

congrats lala!!
I'm not really on this thread as very much not JS but having icsi, timing could have been better as would potentially be Christmas and DS1 birthday but don't care, just want results asap!

Pud I'm doing London as well! Got in through the ballot when I was pregnant with C and deferred. I'm way behind training wise because I missed 3 weeks in Jan/Feb with the MC and knee injury - longest long run so far is 14 miles, but I'm planning to do that again this weekend and then I have Reading half marathon next weekend.

I've had long cycles like that too historically, 35-45 days is normal for me when no hormonal contraception is involved. AF arrived on CD44 at the weekend. I was secretly delighted at the timing of it, it means that the chances of having it for the marathon are close to zero.

Congratulations La

I'm 11dpo today so might test at the weekend. I've got nasty sinus pain tonight so feeling sorry for myself. I've had a snotty nose since I iced and that happened with DD too, but the sinus pain is making me think it's probably just a cold

Good luck Tri and pud for the marathon. When's the big day?

April 23rd, so 6 weeks from Sunday.

Congrats la brilliant news!

Still just waiting for AF here, 35 days post-mc, and had 31 day cycle before so hopefully not too much longer to wait.

Shaved my legs for the first time since I got pg (so Dec). Might need to go buy some drain unblocker

Thanks so much viroids. How are you all? Nova my first cycle after mc was about a week longer.

Sofie gx for you. I get pregnancy rhinitis so get totally what you mean about the sinus pain. I hope it's a good sign for you

Good luck to you mad marathon runners!

Congrats la

Eep Jo that is so exciting! 14 miles at this point is fine I think. I'm on a recovery week this week then 16, 18 and 20 mile weekends and then tapering! Ovia says that I am due AF the week before LM which would be okay. I've got the fanny doctor on the 30th March so if I ice slightly late this month and he gives us the go ahead to ttc then we could just make my fertile window . I'd be the tiniest bit upduffed for LM but pre-bfp I reckon.

I am just over 4 weeks since my MC no sign of AF. Last time it did not appear until week 7...
Still feeling very low most of the time... in fact consciously trying not to think as things are pretty shit all round - at work and on TTC front. Have actually started looking for a new job which is pretty monumentus for me - 15 years in same place.
Still have not had blood test results back...

Best of luck to any viroids in 2ww!

at 'fanny doctor'

Kwick sorry you're having a shit time of it, we're here for venting purposes. Are you excited about a potential new job? I've never lasted anywhere near 15 years in one place! I think 5 is my longest (my current job).

Thanks singing. Not excited as such but I feel like it is doable - before when I have contemplated a move I have been freaked out.
I am working from home today... I just want to stay in bed but am allowing myself a short "lie-in" and then to the grindstone.