Marriage before children?

[May90]

Hi I'm new here!

My OH and I have been together 4 and a half years and recently bought a house. Since buying the house and having an empty spare room it is like switch has been flipped and I am suddenly very broody. We have talked about it a lot the last few months and had decided to start trying next year - after the summer which gives us time to finish the house. When I told my mum she very seriously asked when the wedding would be as we 'cannot have children out of wedlock'. I did not expect this at all!

I explained that what with buying he house we cant really afford to get married right now. We made a decision a few years ago that it was one or the other and the house was the better option for us. We have both said we definitely want to get married but that having our own home felt more important right now.

What are peoples views on this? I know it is totally old fashioned to judge anyone either way and people should do whatever is right for them but has anyone else had this issue with family members?

'AA Gill is marrying his long term partner and mother of his 2 children now he has been diagnosed with cancer, because of the legal protection his partner will get when he dies. '

Alan Rickman married his long-term partner when he became ill, too.

'It's a piece of paper'. So is a will, a DNR, a degree, a passport.

I only know one person with a child who isn't married, and it wasn't her choice.

Having children leaves you vulnerable - emotionally, physically and financially. The only way I'd do it without being married would be if single parenthood was my plan all along (before meeting DH I was considering using a sperm donor so I wouldn't "miss out" on kids if I didn't meet the right man). Otherwise, yes, I would want to be (and did get) married first.

Sorry our internet has been down all weekend while we had electrical work done! Thanks for all the comments. I totally agree with and understand the legal protection points made! I think I've also realised how much on a personal level it would mean to me! DP and I have chatted over things a bit more and he's given me the impression he might pop the big question... Also saw potential mil tonight and politely asked her to stop pressuring as her ds is more than capable of making own choices and I don't want him to be pressured to ask as I feel things are going that way anyway! To answer a couple of questions (incase anyone is still interested!) I earn more currently but he has more savings. I would take maternity and then go back to current job part time on relatively good pay.
Thanks again for all the messages! Has really helped! Hopefully next posts will be wedding planning!