First trip to doctors with dh - any advice on what to say and what to expect gratefully received...

[cityangel]

I am 31 and we have been ttc for 6 months after coming off the pill after 11 years. Have been charting and using the CBFM. Our areas of concern are short luteal phase and long cycles. Also need to see dh's sperm can be tested.

In 2 weeks we have our first doctors appointment.Are they likely to turn us away for another 6 months? Is there anything we should or shouldn't say. Do you think taking the charts along would help or hinder?

Also, does anyone have any experience of getting a referral or going privately for tests at this early stage?

Any advice gratefully received.

Cityangel, I have just come looking for you to see how you are progressing and found this. It sounds like a good thing that you got yourself referred as the time it takes for the appointments to come round can seem like ages. Mid-april is pretty good going though.
I went to Barts too. I saw someone called Al Shawaf first time. He took a fairly detailed history of periods and previous pregnancies and asked about our lifestyle then he sent us off for a whole raft of tests (scan, hsg, sperm, day 3 bloods and day 21 bloods). Then we saw Dr Zosmer the second time when I got all the results of the tests.

Good luck.

Rubles thanks for thinking of me. Did you get any of the tests on your first visit or were they done on subsequent visits?

I was sent off for the tests - none are done there and then. They either have to be done on specific days of the month for you or you need to get the appointments booked in for the HSG/scan/sperm tests. In our case my dp had to wait nearly 3 months before he could get a slot to drop off his sperm sample - I don't know if that is normal though. The HSG and scan were both about 4 weeks until the appointment.
We then had to wait nearly 4 months for the appointment for the results though, so that was very frustrating.
Do bear in mind that they have a cancellation list so if you are looking at a wait of 4 months for your next appointment it would be worth putting your name on that.

Gosh it takes a while then I may need to request a patience injection!

Hi again, sorry been absent a while but came back to see how you were doing.
I know you both went/are going to a different hospital than me, I went to a hospital in Bristol, but on the first visit we had a lot of tests! All the physical exams, blood tests etc were all done with the initial questionaires etc. We were told to be there for 8.45 to check in, I thought it would only be a chat but we didnt get to leave till 1 pm! So be prepared is my advice. Try not to panic too much. Im a terrible worrier, but they are all so sympathetic and somne of the nurses were wonderful! I got really chatty with some over the subsequesnt visits!

Keep us informed and I am certainly here if you need a shoulder, sympathetic ear or whatever! I remember so so well what its like.
you may email me direct..
[email protected]

Good luck!
Fiona

Thanks Fiona that's so helpful. I'd be quite happy if they keep us there are start the tests but after phoning it looks like a bit of a chat and a waiting list so we'll see

I don't do patience very well and this is going to be a test. Dh is very laid back until I am not so I need to work on that! At the moment it feels like rather a lot of decisions are on hold while we wait to see how likely/ soon pg if at all could be... where to live, new job etc. but we are lucky to have each other and lots to be happy for

cityangel, regarding patience - dont know if this helps...
when i had a long wait to conceive -
I'm like you and not at all patient and i'm also a worrier so worried at once would Never conceive. looking back i wish I could have relaxed more. what did help us mostwhen we went through tests and treatment was just to get on with life - new job, exotic holidays. especially to do more of the things you won't be able to do when you have kids whether its long lie ins or moutaineering. when you get pregnant you can always cancel holidays or change your plans then.
so what i'm trying to say is - noone even a cons can tell you how long you will wait for your baby. my top tip is to make the wait whether its a few months or years as worthwhile a part of life as you can and not just a long wait like standing at the bus stop.
well, that's what i wish i could have done more of looking back
have 3 kids now and wish i hadn't spent 2 years worried sick
wishing you every luck with your journey

I think telling you to not worry, is like trying to hold back the tide! I cannot ever forget how fraught, worried and so on I was and my oldest is now 13. Of course you are worried you would be inhuman not to be.I am not a patient person either. I became this crazy baby obsessed woman the whole time. but I have to agree with zzoey, its a good idea to try and do other things. Even if to stop your hubby getting mad with you! It can so easily take over your entire life. So plan little steps, holidays if you can afford to, but at the least romatic meals out, make him feel you still have each other. You will need this too.
Im a great believer in you will get there one day. having been sat in the Drs room and told I would never have kids, I have to...I now have 3 sons and I thank every day for them!
If I can be any help at all do not hesitate to ask...Im happy to talk to you or be an ear if you want to vent...
Write to
[email protected] anytime!
goodluck!

Thanks so much for your support... part of me knows that we only early in what could be a longer journey but the other part of me thinks why hasn't it happened for us when we seem to be surrounded by people falling pg very quickly. There is a family history of it taking my Mum and Grandma longer so that makes me nervous.

This is going to sound ridiculous as well but we spend most of our daily lives doing the things you can't do with kids and are ready (or so we think )

Hi again,

No that makes exact sense! We were the same! I saw pregnant people everywhere...where do they all spring from? I tseemed all my friends were pregnant too at the time which adds to the despair. Dont give up hun, there is so much that modern medicine can do. I tried to remember an aunt who couldnt have kids, and her hubby wouldnt adopt...we are afr luckier than that whatever happpens! They can test for so much and fix so much....we are lucky to live now rather than long ago. Try to keep your spirits up. Also remember whatever they say about "averages" there are always people at both extremes who keep the average average! you know what i mean! So never say never....

I wish you so well! I relaly do...Just having been there I can identify where you are at...so good luck and dont forget Im here of you want an ear or anything!