First trip to doctors with dh - any advice on what to say and what to expect gratefully received...

[cityangel]

I am 31 and we have been ttc for 6 months after coming off the pill after 11 years. Have been charting and using the CBFM. Our areas of concern are short luteal phase and long cycles. Also need to see dh's sperm can be tested.

In 2 weeks we have our first doctors appointment.Are they likely to turn us away for another 6 months? Is there anything we should or shouldn't say. Do you think taking the charts along would help or hinder?

Also, does anyone have any experience of getting a referral or going privately for tests at this early stage?

Any advice gratefully received.

cityangel, I really do think the GP may say you have to have been trying for a year, up to you if you want to say that! However, I think if you can point out the short luteal phase they may well decide to proceed with treatment (is it clomid??). We are in the middle of lots of tests with the assisted conception unit but I had to force this issue with my GP after about 8 months of trying but being over 35. I suppose each GP is different. Good luck.

Good luck. But agree with Janus that you will need to tell the GP you have been ttcing for a year before any tests will be done.
My personal experience is that taking your charts along, rather than just volunteering the info that you have been charting, may well mark your card. Not necessarily in a good way.
But, once you have made it past the GP, the consultant you will be referred to will be interested to see them, and appreciative of the fact that you have been doing them.

HI there. I am also 31. Me and DH were trying for a while and went to the doctor. They said to we needed to try for a year prior to being referred to the reproductive clinic for tests. After the year was up, we went back to the doctors. We were then referred to the Clinic. I think the waiting list is normally around 3 months. On our first appointment at the clinic they looked at the information they ask you to collect prior to your appointment (Cycle lengths and medical history) They complete a sperm test and they completed a internal scan. We were then told to book in after another 3 months and were sent for blood tests to measure hormone levels. Everything was normal. At the next appointment we were booked in for a Lap and dye. Again everything was normal. We then after all of this got pregnant naturally. Unfortunately the pregnancy ended early so we have been going back to the clinic... but they have said that everything is normal and sometimes it takes couples 6-12 months to conceive. He has said that we should conceive within the next 18 months.

But I have seen on here that some doctors complete some of the tests prior to sending you to the clinic. I suppose it depends on if you have any gynie issues etc..

This is really helpful advice thank you. I don't like lying and I certainly don't want to start fertility treatment before giving it some more time, but it does seem very difficult to get some of the obvious basic tests done and I'm not sure I'd trust the home kits...

Janus is the Assisted Conception Unit the one at UCH. I've heard they are very thorough there and would like to get a referral when possible.

I guess its the worry of trying for a long time only to discover there was something really obvious we should have know about in the first place like low sperm or no OV etc.

Thanks again

you will definitely have to tell your gp that you've been ttc for a year if you want some investigations done now. alternatively, keep ttc for another six months as it is not uncommon to take up to a year to conceive.

I would also be very careful about self diagnosing off the back of charts and info you have perhaps obtained from books/the internet. While there are a lot of people who believe that charting etc gves you a good understanding of your body, none of these methods are 100% accurate as there are many things that can affect your temp - a drink the night before/sex/what you eat/a cold etc, and a lot of gyneys actually discourage charting and will do their own investigations rather than relying on the info you've obtained at home.

good luck

I would ask your GP to refer you to a subfertility unit and tell him you've been trying for almost 12 months. The GP may well do some initial tests (blood test for you, semen analysis for DH), on the other hand he may not. I never had any tests done beforehand, I was referred immediately to the unit and got seen six months later.

I would stress to the GP your long cycles. These problems are often due to hormonal imbalances which can be treated.

The GP and cons (when you see him) probably won't take any notice of the temp charts primarily because they are so unreliable. If you have a long cycle as well they can be particularly hard to decipher.

You need a diagnosis of the problem first and foremost. Do not let the GP give you clomid either especially without a proper formal diagnosis of the problem/s. You need to be monitored whilst on it, a GP cannot monitor you properly.

In the initial stages at least you are safer going under the NHS. Not all private treatment is better especially in the early stages. Some private treatment offered is poor as well as expensive.

Thanks Attila you have given me lots to think about. I guess sub-fertility units are part of the NHS I shall away and google it.

bump anyone else been?

Hi

I had been trying 6 months when i saw my gp, he had told me that if i did not have a period within 6 months of finishing my pill then i should see him. I was having periods but they were irregular and over 45 days sometimes up to 70.

Straight away he got blood tests sorted for me, when we got the results back it should a low progestrone test which confirmed i was not ovulating. We had to get DP sperm tested before he could do the referral letter. That was Feb last year, i then had a few letters from hospital asking a few more questions etc and got an appointment for July, i was put on clomid and started that in Sep.

No BFP yet for me, but i would say start the ball rolling as if you do choose to use the nhs it can take a while to get appointments etc.

I am 24 so was suprised to be reffered after only 6 months of trying however it was a year by time i have first appointment with consultant.

Let us know how you get on and try not to worry about it too much( i know easier said than done)

x

Thanks Natty that's really helpful. Fingers crossed for you too

Hi Cityangel,
I went to the GP's after 7months of TTC. The GP was lovely and referred me for an ultra sound scan a month later to rule out PCOS (which was all clear) and was told to come back 2 months later and she'd start with blood tests. Not sure whether she moved quicker than usual as I'm 34 and said I was a little anxious about getting older etc. She did lecture me about not obssessing over OTK etc and said to BD 3 times a week between day 9 and 19. I booked into to see her as planned 2 months later and in the mean time fell pregnant. Sadly it was ectopic tho. Good luck

Lots of people I know have told the dr they have been trying for longer than they have as waiting lists are so long. I saw a notice in the hospital near me that they havent got any appointments until july! Good luck I am sure it will happen naturally but it dosent do any harm to be on the waiting list.

DP and i have been ttc for 7 months, i brought the subject up recently and he turned me away for another 5 months.......also i told him how i'd been using ovulation kits and he told me to throw them away and didnt agree with it! Just be careful wot u say.......

Hi there Cityangel, there's lots of good advice here, and I don't have much more to add except my own experience. I'm 36 and I went to my gp aged 35 having being ttc for 8 months. I must admit I lied and said it was a year, I felt guilty about that, but hormones do funny things to you. my gp referred me to the assisted conception unit, but she knew the wait for an appointment was long, so she did cd1/2 and cd21/22 blood tests to reassure me (testing for oestrogens and progesterone, to confirm if I was ovulating. it did go some way to reassuring me. I also had a pcos scan done at my local hospital, which showed everything was fine in that department. It might be worth seeing if your gp can arrange something similar, which falls just short of a full referral and might give you a better idea of what's going on, esp if you don't feel like lying. I'm not sure I'd rely on the "get referred to the assisted conception unit and see if that makes me pregnant" method, although of course, three months after my referral, I did get pregnant!! Of course, that could just have been because I'd been trying for 14 months by then and it was my time! Good luck x

I read somewhere you could seek help if you'd been trying for a year, or 'more than six months, if you are over 30 and feel that you are running out of time'. I didn't really feel that, but felt it gave me carte blanche to see my GP anyway - happily he is an eminently sensible man who realised that cycles of 53, 31 and 152 days (!) after coming off the pill indicated something wrong that wasn't going to fix itself in the next six months.

'Something' turned out to be an underactive thyroid, and then continued failure to ovulate even after that was fixed. So clomid it was, successful on the third cycle, ie before they start getting even more serious, phew.

Thank you so much to everyone for your advice. I went today and was pleasantly surprised that the doctor was very sympathetic. We got a referal to a sub fertility unit for 2 months time. By that point we will have been trying for 9 months. I was surprised he filled out an online referal and that shows the average waiting time for your first appointment. Then we got to pick where in the borough we wanted to go.

I'd like to get the basic tests done to see whether we have an obvious problem. I did say we'd been trying for a year as given the waiting lists by the time we get to that point it will probably be a year anyway.

Thanks again for the support.

I forgot to point out I went with dh and he was very supportive.

really pleased to hear that CA
xx

Glad it went well

Thanks guys

That's great news!! What a relief it must have been to not have a GP that needed convincing! All the best, keep us posted. Although, I am so hopeful that you fall pregnant now that you have started the referral ball rolling!! Sometimes life is funny like that huh!!

Good luck!!

It was a huge relief! Of course sensitive dh pointed out its just one small step of many, but I don't mind because I feel I've got to the limit of self diagnosis, self-medicating... self sex .... I really don't want to jump the gun but if there is an obvious problem we need to know!

I can imagine some of the stress just lifted when you realised he was sympathetic and understanding! Hang on to him as a GP!! It is the first step along the way, but at least you are being pro-active!! I think the feeling of doing something is very important... in my terms it is charting my temps, I realise it is early days, but I think if I was just doing it every couple of days with no knowledge of ovulation, I would be a huge stress ball, this way I am calmer.

Keep us posted with everything won't you??

Best wishes again

Hi,

GPS will tell you you have to have been trying for a year. They will go through things with you ask about periods etc and check you are not some nut that thinks they can get pregnant through their tummy button! (yes our Dr sais she had met someone who had thought that!)
If you were older the Dr may start tests right away. In which case you get hormone injections. when the Dr has sorted the basic hormone level tests etc and got results if they cannot see something easy to sort by them they will refer you to hospital.
first trip to hospital is not fun. they take a full mediical history. full examinations for you and hubby or partner, hormone tests and blood tests for all they can think of. I remember with us it was a bit of an ordeal and lasted a morning. However when you get to that it does feel positive because you are DOING something. Know what I eman? Also you get to chat to a consultant who will give you some iudea of where you are headed and what you need to go through.

I have done the lot! and survived! now proud Mum to 3 great boys!!!

i wish you well.

Fiona

Thanks Fiona am due to go to Barts mid April. Hoping that this will help us work out where we are. Am nervous in case there is something really wrong but either way we need to know.