Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

TTC A GIRL!!

66 replies

sweetbean · 09/01/2007 08:17

hello just a quick question has anyone got any advise on conving a girl as have been looking on the net and it seems that you always have to but the b*^&%£d book! so i was just hoping that some one had some advice or knows of a good web site.

Thanks for any replys xxxxxxx

OP posts:

mellowma · 10/01/2007 17:52

Message withdrawn

Ready · 10/01/2007 18:49

In actual fact someone did say "I had all this thrown at me when I dared to be upset when already having a ds I found out both dts were boys."....

That to me doesn't seem lighthearted - that person was upset at the birth of their babies because they were boys . That is why "I don't think preferences can be healthy"

I think I am entitled to have an opinion without being accused of being rude. I really don't think I was rude, but have been accused of it - which is unfair, as I said before, despite not believing in gender selection I still posted about old wives tales I have heard... but I didn't want to post that without clarifying that I don't think it's the right thing to do... Again - that is not rude. It was a balanced thread.

NotAnOtter · 10/01/2007 18:58

not rude maybe ...aggressive yes

Overrun · 10/01/2007 19:01

Ready it was me that said that, but let me clarify. My points were as follows: It seems unsympathetic and a bit rude to trample over some ones natural and deep seated feelings about the gender of their children.
However, this was started off as a lighthearted thread, and that is another reason why people coming on so strong about this was out of place.

I was upset when I had the scan and was told that both dts were boys, I got over it by the time of the birth and bonded with them and loved them very much. I was also upset when I found out I was expecting dts, I guess I should have just been grateful hey? Two for one and all that

None of this reflects badly on me as a person or as a Mother, If I took your views on board, you would be asking me feel guilty about these thoughts and feelings.
As to the designer baby tag, I would bet a huge amount of money that expectant Mums have wanted daughters in particular, or sons, since we started breeding. Its okay to have a preference. I really think it is.

NotAnOtter · 10/01/2007 19:05

of course it is overrun - you are honest about your feelings thats good. many of us have shed a tear does not make us bad people x

PoppiesMum · 10/01/2007 19:06

FGS!!! Sweatbean has been back on following her initial post (thanks for the comment btw ), and yet everyone is still going on about it. NO-ONE has said they aren't thankful for their babies. Why do so many of these threads end up as aggressive postings between us all, a million miles awy from what the OP raised in te first place.

People will stop asking questions (light hearted or otherwise) if all they generate is days and days of arguments.

Overrun · 10/01/2007 19:09

Thanks again NotAnOtter, good to have the support
Sometimes just sometimes I think people who say that they don't care about the gender seem to protest a bit too much They are usually pretty estatic when predicatably they end up with one of each
Before you all start shouting at me, I know some people are genuine about this. But,some people don't say they have a preference because they think that they will be frowned on.

Overrun · 10/01/2007 19:11

don't know Poppiesmum, I for one find it hard to resist a good debate and I do feel strongly about it. Sweetbean has had many useful suggestions by now, so hopefully she wont mind too much.

PoppiesMum · 10/01/2007 19:17

Oh, I agree Overrun - debate is good, and I like a good debate as much as the next person but all too often threads on here just seem to turn into aggressive rows and conflicts of personal opinions, without much thought for the OP's original query.

Ready · 10/01/2007 21:38

NotAnOtter - I was neither rude, nor aggressive.

Overrun - I am not "unsympathetic or a bit rude", I wasn't "trampling on" anyone's feelings. How many times do I have to defend my right to a balanced post? I'm not asking anyone to "feel guilty". And if you think that my opinion means I "protest too much" well, that is up to you. I am desperately ttc my first baby (or babies if I am lucky enough for twins).

Poppiesmum - Threads continue long after the OP has had their replies. That's MNet. I don't know where this thread has got aggressive?? It's just debate. Everyone is entitled to have their opinions, and voice them. That is what forums are for. I answered the OP as balanced as I could (which I have said over and over). But because I think having a gender preference is not a good idea - that means I am aggressive and rude. That is unfair. I am not being aggressive, or rude.

Original poster

sweetbean · 11/01/2007 08:10

Thanks again for all your posts (i think?)

Once again i do appreshate EVERYONES views its just maybe how they are worded that causes problem.

I think that it is more than fair to say that we all love are children the end of the universes and back!I can't imadgen how hard it must be to be facing problems in TTC!!!! but just because i have had a child already (a littel GIRL!)dosn't mean that i take it all for garnted second time around!

Now i will probably get loads of angry threads on here now say that if ive already got one girl then why in the world would i want to be gready enough to even think of having another, and i should count my luckly stars ..and so on..and so forth !!!

But the truth is that i would love another girl i don't know why i just would maybe so i can reuse all thoughs gorgouse baby cloths
But as we all know as soon as they get here you love them no matter WHAT!! if i have a boy i will love him without any question at all !!!

Anyway thanks again for all the posts and support will let you know when i finaly to concive so look out of me. see you all soon. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

OP posts:

Overrun · 11/01/2007 09:35

Thanks for that Sweetbean, good luck with ttc a girl. Ready, good luck too, I hope that you get pregnant soon.
I feel I have said all I want to say on the subject, I also don't think it got aggressive. Although I felt I was quite assertive in what I said, usually I don't get involved in heated debates on MN, but as previously stated it is close to my heart.

crazylazydaisy · 11/01/2007 12:06

Sweetbean,I think that is so lovely that you want another girl. I found after i had had my 2nd girl, and even more my 3rd, it was other people who appeared disappointed for me! I know they were only worrying for me that i wouldnt be happy- but dh and i were/are thrilled with all our babies. Yes we are now luckily enough to also have 2 boys,, but i can promise if they had been girls too that would have been just as wonderful.
All the best and let us know how it goes and what you tried !!If not too personal!

Ready · 11/01/2007 13:19

Good luck sweetbean. I hope you conceive in no time at all

chipmonkey · 11/01/2007 14:19

All my boys were conceived at least 3 days before ovulation so the timing theory definitely didn't work for us! Maybe dh should give up IT and go into catering!
I would love a girl to do the girly stuff with, ds1 and ds2 will have no truck with pink stuff or ballet or anything else of the kind. I do love them unconditionally though and couldn't love them any more if they were girls. I sometimes wonder if my future as a MIL and being the granny on the Dad's side as opposed to the Mum's side will be a bit bleak though. Hate to think I'll be thought of as the interfering old bag as opposed to the sweet currant-bun granny!

MorocconOil · 11/01/2007 14:57

Amongst my DH's and my brothers and sisters we have 11 boys and 2 girls. Having 2 ds ourselves we thought it highly unlikely our third baby would be a dd. I was really keen to have a girl and asked at the scan(i hadn't with dss).I wanted to prepare myself if it was a boy so that I would be feeling ok when he was born. When I found out she was a girl I was overjoyed,DH was genuinely happy with either. Various family members (who just have boys) were critical of my response which was a bit upsetting. They implied I value girls more, which was a bit mean on my 2 ds.

Now she is nearly 2 I have to say it is really lovely having a daughter and it does feel different. However that does not mean I value my boys any less. Infact I think having that difference makes me value them even more.

Flip

1 2 3