We are all a bit bonkers, worshipping the travelling womble conker, we rub the grad's bumps for luck and shag without scientific schmuck (Most of the time!) Its Just Shagging 56!

[MyBlackCat]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 55 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2485718-Were-Still-Gathered-Round-the-Sacred-Womble-Conker-for-a-Legendary-BFP-Bring-your-Fur-Babies-and-Pray-for-Merely-a-Hint-of-Menses-its-Just-Shagging-with-science-sometimes-55" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2505402-Its-the-dream-combo-of-carbs-and-couples-massagers-welcoming-pukey-newbies-and-teffrifying-norks-its-GTTs-a-go-go-on-JS-Grads-41" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2490199-just-mumming-9-we-re-suffering-the-curse-of-mel-b-st-syndrome-and-the-rise-of-the-sleep-snatchers-we-ve-all-had-enough-and-would-just-like-a-good-js" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-website-s-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit?pli=1#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2015-10/iu-iss100515.php" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Hi Folks...

Christmas wedding - very exciting!

Thanks black that was my initial thought regarding alcohol but then I found the NHS guidance is to abstain totally while pregnant and TTC
www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/alcohol-medicines-drugs-pregnant.aspx
But then in this article a spokesperson from the Royal college of obstetricians is quoted as saying that in the 1st two weeks it's all or nothing, it will either cause no harm or cause a very early miscarriage at that point.
www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-health/11146012/Binge-drinking-and-pregnancy-5-myths-busted.html
So now I'm completely confused!

Just, the britney head mike is here ready and waiting for you!

Fuzzy, come to the crazy corner, it's nice here, I think there's some gin too We have the people coming from a long way problem too, but thankfully the flight prices dropped on the right date so it's all worked out well. Hoping for a cold/frosty/maybe snowy day but looking at the weather of late I expect we'll end up with grey and drizzly!

Which brings me onto dr....yup I feel a bit conflicted about the alcohol thing too. I think I'll carry on as usual for the next couple of months and then if no joy maybe have a month or two off the sauce? Then I can swing it as a post dry-January type thing for people that don't know we're ttc.

5hell I managed daily Sat to Fri and then Sat to Mon, and think I ovulated on Monday although possibly the day before (but definitely no later). I am not sure I have the energy for another shag tonight...

Oh Canters, I love gin! Our forecast was heavy rain all day but it only started about an hour after our ceremony, so we managed to get some outdoor photographs that look deceptively sunny. Hope the weather holds for you and everything goes well.

I refuse to give up my gin. I would have had a totally joyless 15 months if I had.

I'm feeling awful 5hell, drugs giving me crazy dreams and making me feel wooly.

So, I'm 16dpo and no sign of af. So I poas and I feel like I can see something but only if I stand on one leg, close one eye and hold it up to the bathroom light.

What do you think? Be kind, I've had lots of drugs and I'm feeling fragile.

Actually scrap that, I can't even see it in real life anymore. Ignore my drug fuelled hallucinations

Erm, Just, I am not saying his to fuel the crazies, I know that you have been trying for a long time and I wouldn't do that to you. But I think I see something on your IC. V v faint but in the right place. Here to hand hold but I think you need to test again in the morning with fmu.

I think I see it too but I feel like I've been here before admittedly not with a late af with faint bastarding evap lines so I don't know. I'll get dp to get a frer on his way home for the morning. I did a frer at 13dpo which was bfn so I think it's unlikely but there's always a bit of hope I suppose. It's the hope that will kill me eventually.

Do we think af could just be late because I'm ill? Can that happen if I know I ovulated?

I guess AF could be late because you are ill but yeah I'm not sure that applies if you know when you ovulated. Gx for you.

Everything crossed for you just. I think I see a hint of a line and then it disappears the more I stare at it. I hope the FRER is more conclusively +ve xx

just I totally see your point wrt the alcohol! The NHS do seem to go a bit overboard on a lot of things.
As for the test, I opened the photo and immediately thought I could see a line, then looked a bit longer and decided that I couldn't! Sorry - that's totally unhelpful - definitely another tomorrow!
God knows what's going on with my body, I'm on cd10, thought AF had finished a few days ago and started with the DTD , then have ended up getting not insignificant spotting for the last 3 days. I thought maybe the DTD was just a bit too enthusiastic as it does sometimes cause minor bleeding (smear nurse did explain why once but it's not a prob) but then today was definitely more. All very weird, I guess my cycle isn't as sorted as I had hoped!
I honestly thought I'd just stop taking the pill, shag a bit and see what happened, how am I so obsessed already?!
canters your wedding sounds fab! I understand the fiddly last bits, I remember having a total meltdown because I couldn't get enough of the right paper for the order of services to properly match the invitations - cos everybody brings their invitation and compares it to the order of service...! Try to hang on to the fact that as long as you end up married everything else is optional!

Well I've ordered frer on Amazon prime as dp is working too late to get to superdrug and our supermarkets don't sell them. Hopefully they will come early tomorrow but ill save fmu.
Imagine the cash outlay is all that's required for af to start tonight!

I hate those ICs for pregnancy testing and, in my experience, even when there is the faintest of lines, the camera doesn't want to focus on them properly so the picture is either too blurry or doesn't show the line. I hope you get a better result tomorrow morning or the frer arrives in time. I have everything crossed for you Just.

Yes they are shit, I keep saying I won't buy them but get sucked in. I'm not getting hopes up, a negative frer at 13dpo seems unlikely if I was. And there would be a better line by 16dpo I would think.

Everything crossed for you Just and hope you feel a little better soon. I don't like to fuel crazy, but I think I can see something very very faint on your ic. Gx until tomoz.

I agree a negative frer at 13dpo is unlikely but not impossible. Do you know for certain when you ovulated? Even so, you could have implanted late. I will keep everything crossed.

Hello Dr and canters (do you have a horse?) I hope this thread brings you both luck and helps keep the crazy under control.

sock - you can do it! You seem very determined, that is half the battle won

london good going, I will wave pom poms for you.

I am now convinced I will get a BFN this month, my skin is awful and I am grumpy. I MUST wait til Saturday (when the witch should have arrived) to test but I have a frer in the cupboard, it is too tempting.........

Oh - missed half the fred before I posted. GX for you just

Eep just...must wait for frer!!

Just I can definitely see a shadow of something in the right place. Everything crossed for you!

Please don't all get excited, I've had stupid evaps before. It's faded in real life to almost nothing

Gx Just, I can see a shadow.

I can see myself spiralling into obsessive I've even iced yet and I'm working out when I can test yet also thinking of trying opk's just you know to try

Hello fellow newbies (waves)

just you are right, it is the hope that gets you. I really hope the frer brings you a line tomorrow gx

The frer will tell you the truth. You af and those damn sticks don't mix. Big gx though!!

Everyone calm the fuck down!!! We shan't talk about what we can/can't see anymore....

That wasn't supposed to come out quite so mean

Loving the grey nails btw. From what I can tell about illness and af is that it can delay icing thus delaying af. It can also shorten lp. Can't seem to anything about it lengthening lp?? Everything else aside your body sounds like it's throwing a proper wobbly at the moment!

GX for you just