The commune is gathering for a sacred BFP! We are worshipping our womble conkers and admiring penis statues, but we're still remembering to jump our miroids at every opportunity! It's Just Shagging 54

[jellypi3]

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory, who wouldn't?)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 53 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2457521-Oh-Shagging-Gods-Grant-us-our-Wish-A-Newborn-so-Tiny-to-Squish-By-Shagging-like-Stars-Or-with-Jizz-in-our-Bras-To-the-Disco-in-a-Petri-Dish-its-JS-53?msgid=56749960#56749960" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2472977-Its-sneeze-births-galore-thanks-to-our-fanny-stretchers-Were-soaking-in-piss-and-praying-for-Bats-hospital-bag-Were-avoiding-our-mens-Annie-Sloaners-and-eating-all-the-cake-Its-JS-Gras-39?" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2444058-Just-Mumming-Thread-7-the-grads-grads-cope-with-walking-own-rooms-and-have-little-time-for-shagging" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2386412-Thread-titles" target="_blank">HERE</a>

Stats sheet is <a class="break-all" href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14Ap3NlZ0dP2Rjd1tRdpZ58my-7vZ-oUhevZ-4JROvyg/edit#gid=0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HERE</a>

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Thank you, you lovely bunch of viroids. Decision will be made tomorrow I think.

No lil I am just in grads!

Just are you OK? That must have been scary. I don't really understand the dating thing - I know my dates...does it just mean you're measuring a little small for your 8+1?

So glad you saw the little HB!

Feathered if you are sure of your dates then I don't think it will make much difference which one you go for as you can see a heartbeat at both of those stages of pregnancy. Having had several internal scans where I have been told I have miscarried, I found that during my last pregnancy I just wanted to avoid the early scans altogether as I could tell myself I was still pregnant unless I had a definite scan that told me otherwise. However, there was also nothing like the magical moment of finding out everything was ok... Whichever one you choose, I hope you get to see a healthy and strong heartbeat and you also have an enjoyable birthday.

Thanks Feathered. I'm ok, quite stressed but trying to be calm and tell myself it's ok for now. I'm irregular anyway so she just said I probably ovulated later than I thought as my date was a guesstimate. She basically said a few days either was wasn't something to worry about.

How are you getting on? Are you feeling ok?

Feathered I would go this week and then you can enjoy your birthday. I was back to worrying about a week after my scan but the 3 or 4 days after we were both on cloud 9.
Hope everything is ok justme

Hope you are OK justme. Bleeding in early pg is really common.

feathered gx for what you decide.

I can't believe this Fred has only 8 pages left!!

justme my 8ish week scan following bleeding was v similar and I found it both reassuring (because of hb) and worrying (becasue of size/week discrepancy) at the same time.

Subsequently I searched for some literature and found quite a nice paper on gestational age and various measurements...I've tried to paste part of the relevant table, which suggests that at 8+1 the crl could be anything from 12-20mm due to normal distribution (not to mention measurment error!), whilst at 7+4 the range would be 9-16mm...so clearly they do overlap.
By the time I got to 12w scan I was only 1 day out between my dates & measurements.

sorry that's a bit of a long-winded way of saying dont worry, I'm sure it'll be fine :)

I'm feeling rather fat/pregnant today (15w)...probaby mainly due to not being able to fit in a pair of trousers I haven't work for a while.

Fuzzy I also swore off early scans since my mc...but I'm caving already and think - if little feather should have a heartbeat at 8 weeks, then I'd rather know it wasn't good news sooner rather than hanging on until 12. So sorry to hear about your losses

Just sending you a massive unmumsnetty hug. It all sounds positive but must have been scary with the bleeding.

I'm massively MASSIVELY tired and have felt sick nearly all day today - hoorah! Good signs I suppose!

Just getting nervous as I'm so busy at work at the moment - I've done barely anything today and I'm worried it's going to come crashing down around my ears. I need to get a grip and focus - but it's so hard when you feel like you have a constant hangover. Argh.

Thanks Fruit and Jelly. Fruit how many weeks are you now?

Whoa - yes! -8 pages left. Chat's pissing tomorrow. Who else is having a pissy party in the next few days? I don't think I've quite recovered from Lil's yet.

Tough call, Feathered - if you're going to be worrying all weekend then you may as well take the reassurance as soon as it's offered. The risk that it ruins your birthday is relatively small - would the worry ruin your birthday if you don't take the earlier scan. I used to want the reassurance, then I had a MC post early scan, so I don't find them that reassuring anymore. In fact, I don't find anything reassuring anymore, so you should probably ignore everything I say...

A few days either way isn't going to matter, it's all millimeters at that stage - if you're sure of your dates and scan puts you there or thereabouts, keep your original due date. If you're unsure for whatever reason, scan dates you pretty reliably. On that note, Lil, are your babies dated from the day they went in or the day they were fertilized?

oh good, glad the picture came out so clearly!?!

here's the link if anyone likes to read papers

Weirdly from when they went in chat

So yesterday I had first appointment after all the initial tests showed all ok. It was with gynaecologist at the hospital. Lady was really nice and positive. DH was told that not only were his sperm ok but they were 'super" ok. He was pretty happy with that and has been singing about his super sperm since

All my tests results show I'm ovulating and ok. I have to have HSG test next so have to wait until first day of next af to make appointment. They want to see us again in four months and if we have not conceived naturally by then and if we want too, we will be referred straight for IVF. Lady was very positive that if it came to that then we would stand good chances of being successful as we have no underlying issues. The clinic they refer to is a private one and doesn't have a waiting list so that is good if required. In the meantime we just have to keep on trying.

So issue I have now is that the time that I would need to have the HSG test done, I am due to be abroad working, I would also be away over fertile window, we can't try the cycle I have HSG done so potentially would lose 2 cycles, if I can't have it done next month. Do I mention to work that I need to have a 'medical procedure' done at a specific time that is likely to be when I'm away? Have to be mindful that at this time I will also be applying for my job and I don't want to give them any reason not to employ me. There is a chance if my cycle this month as normal that I could have test done before I am due to go away so could not say anything and hope for best. What do you think?

In general was really pleased with how appointment went and that we have some dates and a plan to work too.

Overall that is sounding positive black! I would mention to work that you have a hospital appointment or something - it's none of their business why. That's what I would say anyway but I suppose it depends on how nice your managers are(?!)

Not that mine are nice managers. There's nothing left of the punch bag at the gym tonight

Thank you viroids that does make me feel better.

Black that does sound positive!

Chat when are you testing?

black I had exactly the same issue. Well in that I was going to be abroad. We had a holiday booked so had to delay a month for hsg. Funnily enough though the hsg cycle where we couldn't ttc was the shortest cycle I ever had. No stress of opks and timed DTD etc. I think a couple of months off may not be a bad thing in my experience, but also I can see why you don't want to delay.
That said, I have seen ladies on mn who have not been told they can't try in hsg month so maybe worth some research of the risks to help you decide.
BTW take paracetamol an hour before, take a pad or liner with you just in case and don't drive yourself

Justme I hope you're ok, I'm sure it's all normal but must still be worrying for you.

Black that sounds really positive! Hopefully one of the next four months will be the one for you but it must be reassuring not to know all seems ok and the options are waiting there for you if not.

Black that sounds really great - I hope MrBlack is very proud of his spuer sperm :) I would tell your work you've got a medical appt that you will need they day off for. They can't argue or question you any further.

JustMe maybe tomorrow if my boobs hurt and the witch doesn't make an overnight appearance. Frankly terrified of either outcome, so equally likely I'll bury my head in the sand and wait until any baby (that may or may not be lodging in the womble) starts moving.

I'm sticking around to hold your hand whatever happens chat

Got everything crossed for you chat

black that sounds really positive. If work are generally not too nosy then just tell them you have a medical procedure on the nhs. The date is the date you've been issued with. There are clinical reasons why you can't change it and get your GP to sign you off for the day. If they are nosy and you don't want to have that conversation another month won't hurt. You could always try the old "women's problems" line if you think that might make them back off? I think a reasonable female boss would leave it there and not pry. A reasonable male one would too for that matter. An unreasonable male one would probably baulk, blush and mutter for a bit. It's the unreasonable female one you might have to worry about

Black personally I'd tell them it's the dentist, so they don't get any wobbles about you going off sick/maternity etc. Not right that you should have to, but that's the way it is!

chat gx crossed for you!!

Black I second taking the day off for the HSG, you may well be fine but I was very sick with it. If you have a blockage it is a more uncomfortable test.

Gx for today chat

sits eagerley awaiting chats post

Gx sweetheart