From wallowing to something more bfp inducing

[Whatamuddleduck]

Anyone want to join me?
It's finally occurred to me that after a year of ttc, and two early miscarriages that I need to stop wallowing and get back to the basics.
It's been a bloody awful year and I've ended up smoking, doing no exercise and rarely remembering to take frolic acid. Is it any wonder that most people have more sex in a week than DP and I have done in the last few months?

So having given up magic potions, ovulation sticks and all other things. This is what I plan to do:

Give up smoking- this is day one and I've had 3 rather than usual 20. (I know I know- I had a 'sod it all' cigarette after 2nd miscarriage and just carried on.)
Do some exercise : I used to run marathons but have done no exercise in about a year. From next week the swimming starts then onwards and upwards.
Eat: biscuits really aren't a good food source. I will eat 3 healthyish meals a day. Far better than my usual biscuits and a ready meal.
Take frolic acid: it's not hard, I carry the stuff in my bag. I will take it.
Work less hours: I will try not to work more than my hours and definitely try to actually live a life beyond work (this may take some getting used to but 60 hour weeks are helping no one).
Look lovely: I need a haircut, well to be honest all of me does. Being less hairy and not looking like I woke up under a hedge has to be a start.

Hopefully doing all this will improve my mood, health and fertility and DP may actually fancy dtd a bit more often.

Anyone else want to join me in sorting ourselves out(or is it just me that has fallen into sluggish mode?) and getting healthy for a bfp?
Or anyone wanting to give me regular kicks up the arse when I fall off the wagon?

I love doing my nails new leaf - it always makes me feel good - hope it does for you too. Let us know how you get on with your testing - I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I have AF signs already so I know I'm out but I'm not wallowing either and just trying to feel more positive about next month!

Hi everyone sorry for the delay in replying. It's been a busy few days! Unfortunately I have not been doing very well at taking care of myself because I've had a few hospital things, but I'm trying to be kind to myself and not put too much pressure on myself until I'm 'better'. At least I haven't been too bad with stuffing myself, which is a minor miracle !

Vap - God, I know exactly what you mean about trying to find the time to do things. It's hard enough keeping on top of life admin when you're so busy at work and work unsociable hours (not to mention the forced networking and client schmoozing in your "free" time!). How have you been getting on? and how did the hair appointment go? I hope you feel a bit better for it . As for the teeth whitening - why don't you take it with you when you're "on the road' and when AF is due to start, so you can start it day 1 of AF (assuming you actually feel up to doing anything that day!).

Citizen74 - the new hair style sounds fab! It's good to mix things up and change things from time to time. Are you using moroccan oil or organ oil or something? I've tried both of those and LOVE them. I've got very long hair which due to old age has started getting really dry, so I love using oils on it from time to time! So has AF come then? Or is it still just the symptoms?

NewLeaf - sounds like you're doing really well! How did the testing go? Presumably Clomid takes a while to work, so try not to get too disheartened. Ha ha - I'm loving your positive attitude though! Why don't you eat a load of sushi and blue cheese and jump in the sauna while you're at it?! .

Hi everyone.

Flat - yes I bought some Moroccan oil and I really like it especially the smell of it! I even managed to do a fair job of drying/styling my hair after swimming which is very unusual. I used to have quite greasy hair when I was younger but mine is dry now which is probably due to being older - boo!

AF not here yet but I'm sure she'll be along. I am quite an optimistic person and so until she arrives I still have a little bit of hope but I'm prepared and will try not to wallow!!

Sorry to hear that you've had hospital things to do. You're right to be kind to yourself - that's really important so hope you can relax and do nice things at the weekend.

Hello Flat and Cityzen

Sorry for your hospital "stuff" Flat ... I am dreading what's next for me on this "journey" of TTC. I hate it all and just bury my head in the sand most of the time then it all bursts over into a mess of emotions. You have to just take care of yourself and be kind to yourself till you feel strong again.

Testing is all clear as day Negatives. 14DPO so its all over till next month basically I guess and I hold all of about 5% of hope that its still going to happen this month. . . Another 40+ days to wait till the next time to see if we were successful.

But, no wallowing. I am going for Sushi tonight funny that you mention it ha ha ha! Next cycle I have two holidays booked so lucky me!! And this morning I went for a walk and did my butt workout from the app. DH says my butt is looking tighter hahaha so I am feeling quite smug about the pancake butt being lifted up

cityzen good for you on the styling, I have some Argan Oil too but I am really slack at styling my hair. Its very long too so always seems a hassle. I must get out of this laziness. I want to try do loose beachy waves.

Cityzen - You're right not to wallow. Onwards and upwards. Moroccan oil is amazing! It's got a lovely smell too. Although people sometimes give you weird looks when they see you smelling your hair...

NewLeaf - I'm so sorry about the BFNs. At least you're prepared for when AF comes. Are your cycles 40 days? Gosh, I'm sorry . At least you can stuff yourself full of sushi tonight! Congrats on the butt sexiness as well. Who wants a baby when you can have a super hot bum instead? Ha ha. Maybe I should start focusing my energy into bum making not baby making!

Hair appointment booked for a week's time! I'm super boring though and will just be getting a cut.

flat hi!

Hair is all chopped off and feeling better about that!

Teeth still not whitened! So difficult to remember to do it! No point starting now as fertile window start Sunday so not worth the risk! Will certainly have it ready to start when af arrives though!

Tan was a flash in the pan, did it twice and haven't bothered since! Must find more motivation!

Steps have been a total failure! Argh!

Still need to drop 3lbs before 20th for my dr appointment.

Booze has been a big part of evening entertainment for the last 2 weeks which isn't helping the steps or weight!

Need to get back on track! Work should be easing off after next week shouldn't speak so soon so should be able to get on with important tax things and house things!

How are you getting on?

Where are you in your cycle?

Good to hear from you Vap. I think it sounds like you're doing great! Keep it up! It's all about the small steps and doing a few things better, rather than nailing everything we set out to do (because that's ALWAYS going to be unachievable). I have about 20 things on my list of things I want to "achieve" in the next year but TBH if I make headway with 1 or 2 I'll be in a better place than I am now!

3lbs is totally do-able, especially if you start now. A week and a bit of healthy eating and staying off the booze should see you knock those 3lbs off. Are you going to be able to avoid the booze with work? It's so frustrating how it gets in the way of things . Hopefully the docs will have a few ideas about things this time, or have some suggestions about new things you can do.

I'm doing ok thanks. Just quite stressed (as always!). Work isn't too bad, as things tend to get quieter over summer, but I'm conscious that come September I'll be back to crazy hours which will be a nightmare for TTC purposes. We're also trying to sell our house, and had an offer in from a lovely couple who seemed super keen so we got really excited...they now seem to have gone cold which is frustrating. I just feel like I don't have any control over the key stressors in my life at the moment (baby making, selling our house, my weight etc) and that's horrible because I've always been a "fixer" and have worked my arse off to get whatever I wanted. I know that makes me sound like a total brat .

As for my cycle, I think I'm on CD1 today but it's all a bit confusing (I had a tiny bleed on Wed but had been 'poked' in hospital, then nothing yesterday, then bleeding today). It looks as though my peak time should be in about 2 weeks, but: (1) the surgery might mess up my cycle; and (2) I keep having weird months where I ovulate around CD22 of a 28 day cycle. FX it's a "normal" month and peak shagging time will be approx 22nd - 28th July.

That's exciting that your fertile window starts on Sunday. How is OH feeling about it after the disappointment of last time? Is he keen for this month? I really really hope this is your month x

Hey ladies.

CD2 here and onwards to a new Clomid 100mg cycle ????. I had sushi and a lot of wine over the last two days!!

Keeping up with my butt workouts, not so much walking or healthy eating though! But i am going to be positive this cycle, it will happen!

I just hope to be able to keep up the positivity....

Hope u all have a wonderful Sunday!

Hi flat
My fertile window shifted with an earlier than expected + opk
It moved to a start date of Friday last week with +opk happening on the Tuesday morning. Luckily we dtd Friday through to the Tuesday which was good timing.
Will be testing at 10dpo next Friday.
When af arrives (being realistic about things and not holding out too much hope as it always ends in disappointment) I have that teeth whitening kit ready to go go go! I will do it this month!
Someone was also posting about epilating, as I can't have ipl whilst potentially pregnant I'll dig it out and start using that again
Another step in the right direction.
Sounds tough for you at the minute. Ttc and moving house?!
I've had my fair share of estate agents recently and they just make my blood boil! I hope you get your house sold so you can get on with the important things (like ttc)

Dp seemed much more up for it this month. A combination of things like

1. Secure new job for next year
2. Seeing what a mess I have been
3. Sharing the responsibility of the dates
4. The impending threat that we may have to do all of this in a hospital

Any way, whether it was 1 of the above or a combination it doesn't matter! What does matter is we dtd so much this time

P.s. I haven't lost the weight. In fact this morning I was 1lb heavier. Work has been too tough! Deadlines for a lot of stuff was Friday just gone so I will be back out there pounding the pavement to get my 10,000 steps per day! If I don't manage it now then it is just pure laziness! I have managed 13k steps for the last couple of days and hope that if I keep that up tomorrow too it will get me down the 1lb I am up.

newleaf good luck on cycle 2! Did you ovulate with cycle 1 of clomid? Were you on 50 or 100mg last cycle?
Did you have follicle tracking?
Sorry for all the questions!
What are these but workouts?

P.s. flat sorry for being crap but remind me what your surgery was for?
I hope it all went well!
I took a bit of a break from mn as all the bfp's were getting me down I've been busy and seem to have missed the info!

Hi Vap

Good to hear from you! So are you in the 2WW now and testing this Friday? Good luck! I have everything crossed for you. I know what it's like though - you need to stay a little bit cynical and pessimistic because it's a million times worse on those occasions where you get your hopes up.

So how did your appointment go yesterday? I hope they can move things forward, whatever that may be. How did things go on the weight front? Hopefully things will be a little easier for you now the deadlines have passed (assuming you haven't just got a load of new deadlines!).

My surgery was a laparoscopy for suspected endometriosis. It went well and they didn't find endo, which is very good news from a fertility perspective. I'm just confused because they symptoms I have, which are horrible and often stop me doing things, all point towards endo. I now don't know if/how I can improve these symptoms. I'm looking on the positive side though, as could potentially have been very bad news for TTC purposes.

I'm now back in the TTC game and am theoretically coming up to my fertile period (CD12 today). That said, sometimes I ovulate really late (like CD22). I'm excited, but also a little nervous to be going through the symptom spotting and disappointment again.

Oh God, don't get me started on estate agents. The one's who are dealing with the potential house sale are shocking. They regularly tell me the wrong information re: buyers and the advert they put online had 7 spelling or grammar errors (and it's a small house with not that much to say!). So sloppy. Also, I've been having to rent a flat due to work circumstances. I moved out last week and they're trying to charge me £150 for cleaning and replacing a light bulb. I'm absolutely livid because my dad and husband travelled a 100+ mile round trip to help me clean the flat, because I couldn't do it all myself because of the surgery. They put so much effort into it and the flat was cleaner than when I got it! When I challenged it and pointed out that I was handing it over cleaner than I received it, the gobby little shit of an estate agent just laughed and said "where's your evidence?". I am beyond livid with the whole situation and have no power to do anything .

Hi

Yep will test on Friday at 10dpo, too early really but you have to start somewhere... Af due next Wednesday according to my app but it keeps throwing my dates around and doesn't seem to want to make its mind up. I've Had some cramping today which I'm trying not to read too much into I did check the dates and worked out I am 7dpo so it fits in with implantation as I'm pretty sure nothing is happening.

They didn't weigh me yesterday which was a relief as for some reason massive weekend excesses I always weigh a couple of pounds more on a Monday.

3 and a half lbs to lose for them to be happy although now on a mission with my steps again to ensure 10,000 are done every day so hopefully it should come off on the next month or so.

At the appointment they basically they said next step is IVF
HOWEVER
I have to wait for another 6 months of trying before going on a waiting list
The waiting list is apparently 3 months long
So, in short, keep trying and hope for the best, but, if all else fails then at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel in 9 months time. just hope they aren't lying about what they will do and the timescales
I did cry at the prospect of this taking another 18 months but after much reflection I've decided it is for the best as no unnecessary chemicals and you never know, we may be lucky. It's pretty crap that every time I see them they seem to move the date we have been trying - which is actually 22 months now but as far as they are concerned it is only 5 months because that is how long I have been ovulating for. These ever moving goal posts are so annoying. If we do have to wait for the ivf to work to get pregnant then we will have been waiting to meet our little bundle of joy for 3 and a half years! never using any contraception ever ever again

Luckily work has eased off a little for a few months now, it's always the March - June/early July that is the worst in this job. So will still be away a lot but should have a few more evenings where I don't have to sit at a computer all night.

Great news on your op! Fantastic result not having anything bad going on. Although it is a mystery why you're having symptoms... Are they running any tests to see if they can find anything else out?

Ooh back in the fertile window you'd best get down to business as much as possible

Bloody estate agents! I can't believe the gall of them to laugh at you down the phone! I have had the most appealing treatment from one recently. Just unbelievable.

sorry to any estate agents on here, I know there are good ones too

Hi vap and flat,

Lost this thread for a bit and like someone said I was also avoiding mums net and any topic of TTC,

Errgh sorry my computer went all funny then!

Clomid cycle 2 is going alright, last cycle was 50mg, this cycle 100mg. With a lot of nausea but hopefully it's worth it...

I had follicle tracking both cycles and my endo lining is still low at 6mm, more follicles this size but more small ones 5-9mm, although one good looking one at 11mm which is bigger than last month. Ideally I should have been Scanned on CD16 but due to weekend and their rule of IVF scans only on Fridays I was scanned on CD13, so I am hoping that my little egg will ripen up and I'll ovulate in the next few days. Lots of DTD.

Been feeling tender on the whole fertility/pregnancy topic and started worrying about worrying if and when I get preggers and feeling annoyed with the world like this TTC journey is spoiling my joy of it all. I hope it's all just hormones making me a bit crazy and weepy.

Need to get back on with the happy life that this thread is about, beauty regimes and getting on with it all! Back to my butt workouts for my firm tush for the beach ????

Sorry to hear about estate agent woes it's such a shitter when they out and out lie about things to keep deposit it's really not fair. Karma will hopefully prevail.

Last post:::: Vap- fingers crossed and good luck with your testing!!!

Keep us posted

I'm off to POAS (ovulation) too!

Hi new leaf hope your clomid cycle 2 works!
I poas this morning and bfn.
Im not expecting anything to happen this month. Not had any symptoms at all apart from the pre af symptom of very heavy feeling boobs. Will keep testing until af arrives though.
How did you get on with your poaokp yesterday?
Did you have a + opk last month on clomid?
I totally understand the going away from mn for a bit, I've tried to stay away from the threads with lots of 1st monthers on there as they are packed out with + on the 1st month trying which makes this long term journey even more difficult to take.

Well my FX for you Vap. Do you know if you definitely ovulated this month?

My POAS OPK was unsuccessful but I drink so much water I have to consciously drink less and hold pee in order to get a successful result usually. Will keep OPK testing for the next week. Last month I ovulated on CD23/24 so with today being only CD16 I guess I still have a wait on....

I really hope this is the month...

positive steps towards bfp
I am stopping drinking for the rest of this cycle and doing daily morning swims. (today is day 2)

Today I also veet'ed my moustache and between the brow and gave my brows a plucking.
I am about to do my butt workout - its an app 'daily butt workout free' with the purple logo its pretty amazing results at 5 minutes a day.
and of course lots of bd time since i guess this is the most important element

happy sundays ladies !! xx

Liking the sound of all this exercise! Well done newleaf
I had a positive opk which the dr's take as ovulation.

Hi guys

Sorry I've been away for a while. Work has been busy and people have been difficult, urgghhhh. I've also been wallowing about this whole TTC thing as well. This cycle I am CD17 and I haven't had positive OPK yet. My cycle length is between 27-29 day (usually 28) so if I don't get a positive OPK tomorrow and ovulate very quickly after that, then I'll be out for this cycle. That's sh*t in itself after missing the last one because of the operation (although even then I ovulated on CD20 so it was never going to happen), but in August DH is working nights over my fertile period (and due to our hours there won't be any overlap at home), then in September he's on holiday with some mates over my fertile period. I just feel so despondent. I'm wondering whether to book annual leave while he's on nights...but then if I ovulate late again I will have wasted valuable annual leave :(

I have also been avoiding MN, particularly the conception forum, for the same reason. I know this sounds horrible, and it's nothing against the girls that get their BFPs as that's wonderful, but it feels like every month there is the same group (us!) who get AF/BFNs then whoever the newbies are get their BFPs. It's exactly the same as real life - it feels like so many people just have sex and get pregnant and never have to 'try'. I want one of the old-timers to get a BFP so I get some hope that it'll happen!

ANYWAY...less of the me, me, me ranting...

Vap I'm sorry about the BFN. How many days PO are you? That sucks big style, especially as you ovulated this month. That's good about IVF although infuriating about the waiting BEFORE being added to the waiting list. I would be so stressed if they kept changing the dates/goal posts. You would have thought they could add you to the waiting list now, seeing as you'd STILL have to wait 3 months. How many IVF attempts do you get where you live? Would going privately be an option? On the plus side clutching at straws, this gives you 9 months to get healthy (or healthier) which will put you in a much better position when it comes to IVF and, hopefully, pregnancy. I am being super hypocritical though, as I kept saying this to myself yet I'm sat here typing with a mug of hot chocolate and a cake...

NewLeaf - FX Clomid works this time. How are you feeling? Still a bit rubbish? I'm afraid I'm ignorant and don't know anything about follicle tracking - what do they do and what are they checking? I hope it goes well for you. It's good that you're taking positive steps and being more healthy. As I just said to Vap, that will only help us later down the line and when we hopefully get pregnant.

Hope you all have a good week!

Hi flat good to hear for you
The next few months sound tough for you! It's infuriating missing those important days of the month. Could you maybe book holidays and tell your manager you may need to change them? Or maybe book every other day that week off? That way you won't lose them all. or you could pull a sickie
Sorry you haven't ovulated yet this month
I hope it happens very soon!!
It is tough isn't it! All these bfp's in month 1. I was in such a mess with it all last month it nearly drive me around the twist! Although when I hear of a long time ttcer getting a + it really lifts my spirits and I'm so excited forthwm! I try to steer clear of those newbie threads now. There are the same names every month I see on here! Us, the unlucky lot!

I think we are in a lucky catchment area where you get 3 chances. Although I wouldn't be surprised if that changes too when I go back! I have ovulated for the last 5 months but it hasn't done much for the getting pregnant malarkey! Not sure what is going wrong? From what I've read ivf costs about £7,000 per go and If you want nhs after you can only do it once and to be honest as much as I really want this I can't help but sit back and weigh up the better financial position we will be if we wait for the Nhs. I'm thinking that we will wait it out hoping for the best each month (really hoping I can be at home on the important dates - it has been so difficult these past few months and makes the rest of the month so much more difficult) then have whatever we can have from the nhs and if we are unsuccessful I will look at the options of going abroad as I understand it is far cheaper even with accommodation and travel taken into consideration. I'm really not expecting anything to happen naturally as I'm kind of holding the opinion that if it was just going to happen then it would have done already in the last 5 months of ovulation.
Today 12dpo - af due wed/thurs
I was only 2lbs from the goal they set me at the hospital this morning. Bloody Monday's are the worst day of the week to be weighed! Will be keeping up those 10,000 steps (if it stops raining) which has made a difference this week already!

P.S. If you fancy joining an infertility group I'll see if I can post a link to it. Slower pace than the conception thread but nicer to have people going through the same struggles l.
New leaf just came over today