Things only TTCers will understand (swearing expected)

[clmustard]

I realised today there are some things only people who are now or who have TTC will get. Mine is:

The sheer and utter fucking soul sucking "joy" of buying pregnancy tests and tampons in the same weekly shop.

please feel free to add yours..

When DH's aunt abruptly & rudely said "why would you want another child?" after I casually mentioned my feelings about 2 years ago when DS was 3....I told her that it was a good job my parents didn't feel that way in 1978..I'm the youngest of 3! She went silent. Why why why do people say such **ite?

When things are looking on track this month, positive opk's, peak fertility on the monitor, ewcm, prime cervix conditions etc. Then your body decides that actually it can't be arsed to ovulate after all, meaning you've shagged your dh/dp mercilessly for days and for nothing . CD19 and still no fucking thermal shift in my bbt.

When you realise you are actually obsessed and need to step away from it for a while.

Just to be clear that's my realisation this month after yet again all looked great and then it turned out my body was tricking me. Plus preseed is fucking expensive when you end up with nothing.

I've been through the full spectrum:

1. Hopeful ttc-er thinking this is fun and I'll never be one of those obsessed women because that's just silly.

1. 6 months in, it hasn't worked. I start symptom spotting, avoiding alcohol and caffeine during peak times, counting down the DPO until I can test, mentally planning when the baby would be due.

1. A year in, it still hasn't worked. I decide that romance, fun and sexiness is out the window. I have to throw science at it. BBT, charting, EWCM and cervix checking. Eating graprefruit for the CM, and pineapple to help implantation. Excitedly telling my (cynical) Mother that I've had implantation bleeding so this is the month. Then telling her I was wrong and she was right. Excitedly showing DP my evap lines and asking him whether he could see a line (he could - 2 months in a row) and posting it on canyouseealine.com (they couldn't).

You read those hopeful posts on the conception board 'My tea tastes funny .. am I pregnant?', or 'I'm 3 DPO but I feel sick... shall I test?' with a cynical sigh. Resist the urge to read the updates ... 'I was right.. BFP at 8 DPO!'

1. 2.5 years in - Pain, hospital, chocolate cyst removed, severe endo with frozen pelvis diagnosed. TTC is out the window for a few months. But at least you know now why it hadn't worked so far... which leads on to...

1. Recovering from laparoscopy..... re-start stage 1. The cyst is gone, things will be different now.. right?

Sigh.

I sometimes wish I could just be knocked out and wake up in 2 years time and find out if I have a baby or not, and be done with all this uncertainty. Or wish that Marty McFly could just whip me forward 5 years, so I know and can stop bloody wondering.