Things only TTCers will understand (swearing expected)

[clmustard]

I realised today there are some things only people who are now or who have TTC will get. Mine is:

The sheer and utter fucking soul sucking "joy" of buying pregnancy tests and tampons in the same weekly shop.

please feel free to add yours..

These messages made me smile and wince at the same time.
I made the mistake of getting over excited and telling everyone I was trying and now having gained a couple of stone (1 year and 1 miscarriage later) am constantly having people look at my belly, raise their eyebrows and ask if there is any news. Even the guy that came to fit the washing machine asked when i'm due!

I get the rage when people who have not struggled in the slightest talk about "just relax!" or "It's not such a long time though, 2 years, is it?" and other such comments. One even said that it wasn't a human right to have children, so you can't really be too heartbroken if it doesn't happen for you. I think her heart was in the right place, but it didn't come across well.

I know someone who waited just shy of a year for DC2. They tell me they know how I feel etc, but come on... DC2? It's not really the same, is it?

.....Oh and .....I have a SIL ("wasn't even trying") and now one pregnant Mother in law too.

MIL? Jeeeeez, does it ever end?!

When you SIL gets pg before you (and easily) so your mutual in laws don't give a shit about your pregnancy (or child) as they are effectively old news. Just me then.....

Maybe the answer to the relax advice is something along the lines of: "Yeah I tried that. I sent DH/DP/whoever off to the football while I fucked off to the spa but still no luck. I thought maybe plenty of shagging was a better way to go."

It hurts no matter what number DC you're trying for IMO.

Hi ladies,
So glad it is not just me feeling the jealousy! My friend went from "probably thinking about kids in a few years" to "Oh I'm pregnant on my first two weeks off the pill" withing a matter of months. Gutted.

Also adding obsessively checking any and all fluids coming out of you. I have spent more time looking at my tissue/knickers than the TV in the last few months.

No offence meant Cheesy, I guess the grass isn't as green as it looks?

When your sister in law, knows you have been trying for a year and says "any luck yet?!, "You have been trying for ages now"?! Oh really, No s**t sherlock!!, while telling you that she just knows that when she tries she will get pregnant in the first month, !!!

You have no idea how much better this thread is making me feel. Had a bit of a cry to DH about a women in work having twins he (jokes) maybe she will let us have one? For a (short) moment I think yes maybe she will two would be hard work..... I am a LOON

None taken honeysuckle

SILs are a recurring theme!

Thinking that lying to FF might change the fact AF is coming. And just being in complete denial about signs as if that will make a difference to whether you're pregnant or not.

Not wanting to go to the toilet for the 2 days leading upto af due date because you are scared of what you might see. Thought process: 'if I don't pee, af can't come'!!!!

When your pregnant friend messages you weekly with news stories about successful ivf stories.

For all of you who hate the daily celebrations of other people's babies on Facebook, not to mention ultrasound images of the insides of their uterus, then you'll love this:

STFU Parents

Hours of fun

Had a bit of a cry to DH about a women in work having twins he (jokes) maybe she will let us have one? For a (short) moment I think yes maybe she will two would be hard work..... I am a LOON

Have you SEEN Blood Brothers wound because Mrs Johnstone did just that... didn't turn out so well though

Omg that blog... Brilliant!

this thread...apart from being sooo funny, makes me think that perhaps, i might not be so damn weird after all

Starting to dread the inevitable arrival of AF 6 days before it's due...FML

Since starting TTC the number of babies around me seems to have increased 1000%. They are literally everywhere and no escape. One day I'm going to pull back my shower curtain and there will just be a breastfeeding mother in there.

Thank you for this thread! Mine's mostly been my own mother, telling me a day after we found out my MIL had been diagnosed with cancer (latter stages, not much could be done except to make her comfortable) that she would want a grandchild...(she has 2 already)

A few months after this (in which my MIL passed away and my husband had an operation) my mum starts again - apparently other people were asking about when we were having kids, I was annoyed and told her to tell these 'people' to fvck off! She got stroppy and said that they only cared about us and that's why they were asking...I had to point out that it wasn't exactly the easiest of times that we were having - that we were still dealing with the loss of my MIL as well as some other stuff that was going on!

Then on the day of my mum's (serious) operation she asked again - when were we going to have kids, at which point I said that we were trying and she needed to stop asking. She hasn't and doesn't remember the conversation either! We've now been referred to the fertility clinic and I can't tell my mum, she's still not very well and it will cause more stress (on her and me) so I'm deflecting every single conversation about babies. She's now moved on to telling me that I MUST go to the doctors etc. Argh!

Having my best friend tell me she's pregnant (I'd already guessed and was told over email) was HARD, I was in tears throughout the entire conversation (AF was due that week too). I managed to be honest enough to say it was bittersweet for me which she understood. It's easy to forget about because she lives overseas but when we email and she talks about the bump or something to do with the pregnancy it upsets me. It's a tough situation because I'm sure she wants to share with me and all I want to do is forget about it all because I'm not there and we may not be able to have kids.
(I am a bad friend)

When I told my other best friend about it and my impending day 21 blood test, I was told to 'fuck that and keep shagging' whilst I know it was a bit of a joke, that wound me up - if only it was that bloody simple!

I've also heard the "just relax and it will happen" comments - very annoying!

I've found my people!
Yes all of this, especially the helpful comments from family since my little sis has given birth: "doesn't it make you want one?" "You better get on with it, you're not getting any younger"

My DM has started telling people I'm too focused on my career to have kids (I'm not)! She knows I'm trying and asked me the other day if I was doing it right as everyone in our family gets pregnant straight away! Thanks mum, he's jizzing all over my hair then I'm doing a fertility dance, that's right yeah?

Maybe the answer to the relax advice is something along the lines of: "Yeah I tried that. I sent DH/DP/whoever off to the football while I fucked off to the spa but still no luck. I thought maybe plenty of shagging was a better way to go.

I'm so stealing this!

1st time round aged 22 - being told that a baby would wreck my life, you are too young, live a little first, you have plenty of time etc.
Well sorry but I had a good job and my own home and had been with my oh for 6 years and knew I wanted kids since I was 16 but wanted to get the house and carreer first so actually felt like I had waited long enough thank you.
After the relationship broke down due to the pressure of ttc for months, being told - aren't you so glad you never had a baby with him now, you really dodged a bullet. Well no actually I'm not, I may be young but I can still feel the ticking clock.
Having my 16 year old sister come to me 1 week later in tears because she is accidentally pregnant and newly single. Having to hold her hand at scans and even the birth because she "needed me"

2nd attempt ttc - my mother championing temperature reading to my husband and I one day claiming it is foolproof and (cringe) her preferred methods of contraception. Coming to me 2 months later in tears because she was 43 and pregnant - there are 6 of us and none of us were planned (i love you but ffs keep your effing legs together then) . A few months later my husband got sick and we were forced to stop trying. During his illnesses, helping my mother through post natal deppression where she told me daily for 3 months how she secretly didn't want the baby and at more point actually offered her to me. Knowing that it was her illnesses speaking but secretly wanting to take the baby and skip the country.

4years later husband is in good health and we are ttc again. I have practically made him sign the official secrets act so that I don't need to hear comments about how easy it should be considering my family's track record with fertility.
I look after 3 year old sis 6 hours a day 5 days a week whilst mother is at work. How upset I feel when she accidentally calls me mummy or a stranger comments on how much my daughter looks like me.

And people who reffer to my cats as my children. Ffs I am not their mummy and my husband is not their daddy - stop calling us that. My mil constantly asks after our "kids" - at first I thought she was cruell considering how long we have wanted to be parents. Turns out she means the 2 cats - now I just think she's thick as shit.

Oh Ellie you've been through the mill. I often think to myself that I wish I'd had a baby when I was young and healthy, rather than wait until the time was right and find out the endometriosis has done irreversible damage.

I hope everyone on this thread has their dreams come true soon

This is a great thread and as someone else said it has made me think I'm not going mad after all!

Whenever AF is on her way I always manage to convince myself it's really a sign that I'm pregnant when deep down I know it's that time of the month.

My Mum has started dropping big hints about women in their 40s having babies and I don't really want to go into it about how long we've been trying for so I just try and ignore her.

Ellie you really have been through the mill - fingers crossed for a bfp for you soon (and everyone else too).