RESPONSE trial thread

[Marchgirl]

For anyone who had joined or is thinking of joining the RESPONSE medical trial for recurrent miscarriage

hi size so nice to hear from you. in sorry your still finding the anxiety difficult. totally understandable though. hopefully Thursday will help. Is it just the worry that something is wrong?x

what a bloody joke March. how you feeling x

March I know who you mean and dislike her with avengance.
I had the misfortune to meet her earlier in the year at my first Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic. She was awful and was very dismissive of the Response trial. I was already about 8 weeks pregnant and she insisted on taking my bloods again for the recurrent miscarriage tests (eventhough I'd had them done recently and had explained that) and then put the massive stresses into me by mentioning my last loads had a chromosome 16 disorder and it's likely my DH and /or I were carriers, possibly affecting future pregnancies. I left in tears avd when my husband called her 3 times over the following week to find out more info (he'd missed my appointment) she never ever returned his calls nor have we received a follow up letter explaining that actually our full genetic karyotyping analysis turned out just perfect. Witst bedside manner ever and startlingly lazy when it comes to any patient care contact. I'm so sorry you have to deal with her too. You'd think there's nothing that could make recurrent miscarriage worse, but she sure does. What a Bint.
Sorry for the rant but I feel your frustration!
Would you be able to take part in the next stage of the Response trial? They are loosening the criteria and honestly it's the best medical care I've ever had. Like chalk and cheese from bitchface.
Anyway, thanks ladies. I just feel like a big drama queen. I ain't know what it is. I'm just so unable to see past losing this baby and I'm terrified. I opted out of the screening tests at my 12 week scan as I'd decided i wouldn't TFMR and would obsess about the statistic given. So I have no idea what's going on in me.
I've begin to feel a bit of movement but it's do dooradic it makes me worry too.
I thought I didn't want to find out the sex, but wonder if I should as of the scan goes ok then I'm worried about not being able to bond with the baby as I'm in such self protection mode I feel very unattached.
I think as I don't have a child yet, I don't believe that I can carry to full term and have a real live take home baby. All I've ever known is bad news and I just can't let go of the fear.
I'm hopeful that if Thursday goes ok I'll eventually be able to relax a little. It's really exhausting being this wound up all the time avd effects sleep and work and relationships with friends.
I wish I could go to sleep for the next few months and just wake up one day in November with a new born baby in my arms.

Hi sizethree.. I totally know how you feel and I'm only 8+2! I feel quite unattached too which I know is different being much earlier than you, but it doesn't feel like this is happening to me. We have a scan at the hosp on Thursday and I'm already convinced it won't have grown or something. I just can't imagine a baby even entering our lives. This in turn makes me feel so guilt as I should be overjoyed!! I dare say after your 20 week you'll be reassured, but I don't think you'll stop worrying. All we can do is try and distract ourselves and let time pass as quick as it can. Hugs xx

I really feel for you size. I hope you can at some point relax a teeny bit and enjoy your pregnancy. I first felt my ds move the week of the scan but it's so irregular and for a few weeks I used to worry about it all the time. big hugs.
philippa it's so understandable it a such a scary time for you all x

Thanks girls. Sorry I didn't mean to be quite so ranty! Hope I don't come across as too aggressive. Quite the opposite really.
It's comforting to hear you understand too. I feel like a freak a lot as I hsve s few friends having very normal (and unexpected - grrrrrr!) pregnancies and I can't bare to see them as I don't want to eirry further by comparing.
It just seems like there's always something new to worry about.
I'm akready feeling a it sad that I don't think k could cope with anther oregnancy ever if this goes wrong. Or even if this does go well, it's very unlikely I'll cope with having a brother or sister for this baby.
It's just such a tough journey. I've said it before and I'll say it again, these lucky women who sail through pregnancies without a care in the world do not know just how fortunate they are. My one wish in the world would be to be one of them.

Hi all. Been away for a few days but have had my Pom pom out cheering from the sidelines.

March, massive hugs lovely lady x

Size, don't panic, I'm sure you will bond with your baby when they arrive, however if you are worried, I would mention it to mw at next appointment to see if they can provide any additional support.

Cow, welcome and hope you're finding the injections ok.

Tomorrow should have been 12 wk scan, instead looking forward (!) to next appointment at rmc next week. Grgh!

Big hugs for today girlie. I found scan day really hard for the ones that I was booked in for x

Hope you've been ok today girlie and have done something to take your mind off scan day.

I'm totally confused now as to what I should be doing when. Af arrived last Monday morning but the pains started Sunday afternoon so wondering if I should count that as cd1? Either way I'm either cd 9 or 10 now and I wanted to try to do the SMEP this month but I'm that case should've started ttc yesterday! Aaarrrghh!

Then I'm not sure when to start opking again. I was cd 16 last month so I may start on Thursday! Why can't this be easy?!!!

So sorry March, just absolutely shit :( I hope you are ok as can be.

Girlie, no words :( big hugs x

Size totally get you! It's such a long way since last scan, and it's still hard to believe everything is ok. You must be excited too though?
I think finding out the gender this time has helped bond more if I'm honest. Now I know what my little person is, I can imagine him, prepare for him. With ds we didn't know and obviously I was mega excited but I just feel different.
I wasn't getting massive movements with this one (like I did with ds) but it turns out my placenta is anterior (at the front) this time. When I lay on my belly, baby kicks me, and so I feel movements, just doesn't feel as much. Dh felt baby kick on Sunday finally after me been feeling him from the outside since last Tuesday, but every time dh put his hand there, baby stopped!

big hugs girlie.

how you bearing up March?

kazz CD1 is first day of full flow so last Monday?so your CD9 today Id probably start opk tests thurs or Fri as no harm starting them and better that way than miss it. what's that method? I've bit heard of it.

af arrived today

Oh biooo. Sorry to hear that Claire. SMEP is sperm meets egg plan. You dtd starting day 8 and every other day from there starting opk on day 10. Then when you get a smiley you dtd every day for 3 days, have one off and then have one last try. Doubt I'll be able to do that this month as a) I've missed day 8. And b) I'd u smiley on cd16 as last month DH will be away for the final attempt!

Sorry to hear af arrived claire. My temp has dropped this morning and the cramps have started so I think the miscarriage will happen today, making this cd1. yesterday was horrendous with the hormone crash. Couldn't stop crying. Really hoping today will be better. Got acupuncture tomorrow morning so hopefully she can help flush it out. Will be pretty much in sync again this cycle so hand holding claire, and good luck to you too kaz, you're just a few days ahead again

sorry March are you off work? I know hormone drop is awful for you. Hope bleeding and painwise it's not too bad for you. thinking of you x

Sorry to hear March :(

Kaz, I'm cycle day 10 day I wasn't going to start ovulation testing until weekend but decided to this morning to get into a routine and...A blooming smiley!!! Can't believe it has happened this early! I'm just leaving work until 2030 tonight so hoping to start the deed tonight! Xx

Oh crappy crap crap. I'm going to test when I get home! Thankfully dtd last night so there's hope if I do ov early. Don't think I am doing atm as I can usually feel it happening. Bloody painful!

So it seems we're cycle buddies this month!!! Good luck!!

Congrats on the smiley gen,but bloody annoying when it catches you out like that! Same happened to me last month. 4 days early. Hope it's a lucky one for you x

No, not off work claire, but i don't think it should be muck more than a heavy period. I have pain killers at the ready. Feel much calmer emotionally today so think I'll be ok.

take it easy March xx

We decided not too last night thinking we would go every other day! Going to test again when I get in and hope it's still smiling away! I'm normally about day 15 but this is my first cycle since last miscarriage so suppose could be a bit messed up! X

If you did the day before yesterday and tonight then I think you're still in with a good chance. I think it's more random than we think. I was convinced our timing was poor last month but it obv wasn't too bad

Wow Gen great news!!

Claire sorry about af, must be really frustrating esp as you caught so quickly before :(

March sorry the bleeding had arrived, our bodies are shit!

Louise have you been asked about the Tommys thing at UHCW in July?

it's really frustrating that's it's taking a while this time. I feel like time is just passing me by x

I know how you feel claire. Never thought for a second that I'd get to July and still not be pregnant. So frustrating. I know yours is a different kind of frustration, so hope you don't find it inappropriate that I'm lumping us together, but the result is the same - no baby yet. Hope this one is your month x

Ladies from you opinions when did you start pregnency testing? The lady from response told me to start 7 days from my smiley but cd17 seems way to early?? Or is that just me thinking too much xx

I started on cd 23 last month and it was horrendous. Id definitely wait a little longer than cd17. You scared me into doing a opk yest but no smiley yet!

I've found out that I've got an opportunity to go for a promotion. It came up 12 months since just after mc1 and I decided against it. I going to go for it this time. I've got to stop lettin all this dominate my life but it's so hard!!!