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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Bumsnetting Angry Pubes

999 replies

juneybean · 22/04/2015 12:22

Mass piss on a stick commencing Saturday!

If you don't get a BFP then you can't sit with us!

###STATS###

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12
purdiepie · 23/04/2015 21:28

I know! Offices are such diverse places Hmm You are not going to believe my next offering: my line manager (I will protect her identity by called her Sara I've left the aitch off) HAS A REAL AND TERRIFYING PHOBIA OF CREME EGGS. I swear on Nancy's dear life I am not kidding. I began talking about how appalling it is that the multipacks of the eggs have been reduced to five and she screamed, threw her hands up to her ears and ran to the toilet. I asked all the fellas around me what was up and they said 'Did you mention Creme Eggs, by any chance?' Hmm

When she came back she was grey and there was beads of sweat in her hairline. Really never seen anything like it. She says the vomit rises in her throat when anyone mentions them and she begins sweating and shaking with acute anxiety. The fight or flight reflex makes her run away, something she is trying to temper with counselling Hmm

Pixa · 23/04/2015 21:30

Purdie please write a book. Your writing is so eloquent. Laughing at Creme Eggs lady.

Mummyofonesofar · 23/04/2015 21:32

rainy I am so sorry he is being a dick. I hope he opens up soon and tells you what's really going on.

frog I shan't look at that website - I feel it may encourage and normalise my crazy behaviour!!! Sorry you're feeling crappy.

yokyil sorry about baby bombing - seriously we have all had so much of this recently - enough is e-fucking-nuff!!!

MaMaPo · 23/04/2015 21:33

Geez purdie what do you say about us behind our backs?

Another morning, another pre-5am wake up. Goddamn it. Flight doesn't leave until nearly midnight (ie. 15 hours from now) so I'm wondering if I could get sleeping tablets anywhere. Can you take benzos if pregnant, I wonder?

Boris and rainy , your men are really pissing me off today. I hope they both shape up soon.

Melon and yokyil babybombing is the worst. I got bombed with a new arrival on FB too. I'm at the stage now where the people who have children older than mine have had number 2 (fine), the ones whose kid is the same age as mine have had number 2 (mmm) and now, the ones whose kid is younger than mine have had number 2 (woe and angst). This has been the hardest bit so far. And I have to keep reminding myself of how lucky I am to have number 1 at all.

Right. How shall I keep myself awake today?

Sparkly123 · 23/04/2015 21:33

Oh this just gets better..... Grin creme egg phobia?! How dare she?! At least you know how to get her should there be any issues in the future...! Ha ha Grin

MaMaPo · 23/04/2015 21:38

It's not a phobia if its a rational fear. Creme eggs? Why not, at least it's far from the 'rational' end of the spectrum.

I hate creme eggs. Vom.

MaMaPo · 23/04/2015 21:40

Also, why the fuckity fuck are they 'creme' eggs. It's cream. Or crème, if you want to be French about it.

purdiepie · 23/04/2015 21:41

Spinning, I am so sorry - you have been asking and asking about my mum and my intention to reply gets lost along the way. Thank you so much for asking about her; she is a lot better but has lost a vast amount of weight in the week she was ill. I never knew that much could be lost in seven or eight days. She was very slender to begin with (neuropathy means she's in too much pain to eat a lot of the time) but her inner thighs have lost all muscle tone and she looks malnourished to me Sad

Sparkly, I am convinced your quick-to-appear sticks are real evidence of unfailing HcG numbers. Please know I am praying for the best news tomorrow Thanks

Frog, Welsh foster dad came back from lunch today grinning like a Cheshire cat. He had been on the weekly car boot stall in town and found a speaking wrist watch for his deaf and blind paraplegic son. He honestly couldn't wait to get home and surprise his boy, who apparently has been crying for days because all his friends can tell the time and he can't. I just love Welshman. He has recently taken into his family a two year-old tot who has spondi-something (water on the brain?) leaving him severely disabled. I hope he gets paid a bastard fortune for what he does.

ibeka · 23/04/2015 21:41

Rainy could it be that he is actually feeling quite anxious/upset about TTC and is trying not to show it in an attempt not to worry you but is inadvertently making you more worried? Like, he feels he shouldn't be worried about it because that's your job and he needs to be the strong one? My DP does that sometimes but 99% of the time just comes across like he's sulking or doesn't care...(it takes an argument to establish the facts as they are!)

purdie I would love to put my school IT technicians alongside your lot for a nerd-off.... Or a boil pustulating contest. It seems to be a pre-requisite for the job!

yokyil I hear ya'. Sorry it's been a down day. Flowers

sparkly not long now! Sending you tons and tons of good wishes for tomorrow!

Hairstylisttoboris · 23/04/2015 21:41

Thanks ladies for the sympathy. And the truth about DH he's a nightmare at times. His friends refused to come back when they realised how sick I am, at least they have tact.

purdie whilst Chris may be a clown, if I'm in one if those horrible ice breaker scenarios I always say Im a qualified clown but no longer practicing due to something aweful that happened, that I can not speak about. Just saying... Your lot sound bonkers. I used to work with a lady who had a phobia of pot plants.. Creme eggs is brilliant though. Don't you just want to fill her desk draws??? don't though

Hairstylisttoboris · 23/04/2015 21:42

sparkly will be praying for you tomorrow.

purdiepie · 23/04/2015 21:44

MamaPo-faced, what? Me?

purdiepie · 23/04/2015 21:46

I took benzos at 36 weeks pregnant. I needed vallium to curb the withdrawals I was having coming off ADs in preparation for the birth.

Sparkly123 · 23/04/2015 21:46

Thank you Purdita I need to calm down!! So glad to hear your mum is improved albeit with weight loss etc. I understand being in constant pain. It's tough going. I hope she continues to improve and gets to see more of get darling Nancy Flowers

Sparkly123 · 23/04/2015 21:47

The Welshman is a saint!

Sparkly123 · 23/04/2015 21:48

Ibeka thanks sweetheart hope you are ok Flowers

Sparkly123 · 23/04/2015 21:49

Boris thanks sweetheart. Just get yourself better love Flowers

spinningirl10 · 23/04/2015 21:53

Purdie, I'm so pleased to hear your Mum is on the mend but the weight loss sounds harsh. You'll have to feed her up and bake one of those lovely parsnip cakes. Will she be able to return home soon?
A cream egg phobia......these things could only happen to you PurdieGrin and the welsh man is amazing, what an inspiration.

purdiepie · 23/04/2015 21:53

Oh dear Lord. An autistic teenager on Crimewatch has had his throat slashed because he looked at some random stranger 'funny' Sad What is wrong with these people? And why are all the thieving, post-office-robbing scrotes on this programme immigrants? Every single one of them tonight (52 minutes into the programme) have been Romanian-looking. Bastard gipsies.

ibeka · 23/04/2015 21:54

purdie how is Nancy? Has her temp gone down?

Also, I have to ask.... what is a deaf-blind kid going to do with a peaking watch?!

frogbubbles · 23/04/2015 21:59

Oh my goodness!! Purds where the holy hell do you work?? Clowns, creme eggs. Seriously if have to wear tena ladies everyday with the amount of laughing!!

On a more serious note swoon how adorable is Welshman he sounds so lovely!!! As for Chris ugh. Now when I see the emotioconi-whatis-majigs them yellow faces when I'm typing a message I keep thinking of his manky boils Blush

MaMaPo · 23/04/2015 22:00

Lay off Purdie. I know this is your 'thing' but wind your neck in.

Riceicle1 · 23/04/2015 22:00

Just popping in to wish sparkly good luck for tomorrow! I really am crossing everything for you

Just watched dear john, Channing Tatum is sooo hot! Now If he was my dh doing 11 times in 9 days would be a dream! Wink

Pathetic number of days past ov and I am symptom spotting like a good un! Sore nips, heart burn and starvation..... Most definitely pregnant Smile

purdiepie · 23/04/2015 22:01

The Welshman has the worst skin. No pustulating boils but vast angry red swathes of scabious skin across his face. He has a ponytail dripping grease all the way down his back and he dresses like Stig Of The Dump. In order to speak to him I have to peer over rows and rows of empty 3-litre bottles of cheap cola which he is addicted to. He never throws the bottles away and so they just build up and up until his face becomes a blurred flesh and crimson blob through the sea of plastic. He has worn the same socks three days on the trot with the slogan: 'KEEP CALM AND TIDY UP'. The irony appears to be quite lost on him.

juneybean · 23/04/2015 22:02

He is lovely isn't he rice

Oh yes good luck for tomorrow sparkler!!!

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