We let our miroids tie us up, and pee while we're in the tub, and the grads often visit, so we can give their bumps a rub! We've a syncro pee approaching, so here's hoping, for a BFP filled JS No 42!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 41 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2334008-Were-sorry-about-your-fanny-here-have-a-balloon-We-might-use-cock-rings-and-ear-needles-but-we-definitely-dont-use-contraband-to-get-us-upduffed-its-Just-Shagging-thread-41?msgid=53430680#53430680" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2334723-With-our-swamp-fanjos-and-supermarket-jobbies-its-all-going-on-in-our-knickers-Its-a-wonder-our-men-agree-to-deliver-the-prostaglandin-injections-but-then-we-are-the-24th-Just-Shagging-Grads?msgid=53223726#53223726" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Mumming Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2323427-Just-Mumming-Along-Viroids-4" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Have you lot seen the moon tonight? It's so beautiful!

carrot and wine my DD had that bug and so did I. She did one allnighter and was fine. i was out for almost 5 days! It is the worst feeling when they are ill and theres noting you can do...

I am glad you guys see something because DP thinks I've lost the plot. Although he may just be trying to stay calm because I had a very definite false positive on 16 March when AF stopped after 1 day. I think that was probably because there was blood from weird AF mixed in with urine. No idea when I ice but had twinges on Wed 25th and throbbing ovary the next day. Or maybe it was Thurs/Fri? Am seriously not good at charting etc. AF due on Friday... I take a lot of very strong supplements due to autoimmune disease including b vits so perhaps my luteal phase is a bit long? I am also 36 so it is more likely that I ovulate more than normal. Weirdly, I don't want to use frer. Can't face a BFN after getting my hopes up.

You guys are the best emotional

Oh bless you Sky, what an emotional roller coaster. I didn't realise that you can ovulate more than once if you are older. I have had ov pains all throughout this cycle and I am getting a bit worried that I am going to get upduffed with triplets which I would secretly think was awesome would obviously be terrifying. :-)

pud I have a couple of friends in late 30s with fraternal twins. It's a whirlwind but the children have built in best friends for life! I always assumed it was an IVF thing but apparently as you age you release more follicle stimulating hormone which can lead to multiples.

You can release more than one egg per ovulation but you only ovulate once per cycle

Major skittle tits today!

If you say skittletits out loud 3 times will a BFP arrive? (like Beetlejuice)

Jelly I knew about it because I spend too much time online but I forgot. Then the guy walked up and shut the door, the music changes... DH is more bothered than me. I am mentally prepared to not get too attached.

Let's try it sky

Ah okay, thanks Just, good to know. Lots of non - identical twins on my Mum's side of the fam too. Doesn't explain constant ovary twinges though. I guess they could just be learning what to do. This is only my 3rd (v long) cycle off the pill. I spotted on and off through the last one so this one is more 'normal' in that sense. Currently CD31 and 13 days still to go!

have just finished writing the last page of my ivf diary. I hadn't written in it since the day after we told my mum 2days before the tests faded. feeling a bit emotional but like I've finally closed the book on it, literally and figuratively. have ordered a photo frame for the embryo pics and a keepsake box to put the framed pics, diary, and positive test sticks in. I still can't quite believe life can be so cruel. sorry. very me me me but needed to share x

Oh lil that's what we are here for. Sending you a big hug.

thanks sky

Oh bless you Lil. I still have my positive frer in my handbag. Don't know where I'd put it if I took it out, and don't want to throw it away.

Jelly about fucking time, but it was totally not Tyrion! binge watch? Me?

mine are in a draw in my bedroom at the moment honey, I can't get rid of them either. I just feel like they should be somewhere more special. stupid really when its basically just a vessel holding my stale piss!

Hugs (totally don't care that it is unmumsnetty) for Lil and honey.

sky I hope it becomes something.

I spent my afternoon with my sister and other family members today. Fantastic. A short version Lil my step mum ran off with her a couple days after her 9th birthday, stopping anyone on my dad's side of the family seeing her. The courts granted access, but there were loads of complications (mostly relating to step mum being a bitch, but don't want to go into too much detail on here, just in case, well, you never know). Anyway, we've finally got to see her. She's even staying with me for two nights this week!

The only thing that could make this week better is a bfp.

So of course I think I see a very faint line on an IC. I am driving myself crazy. Please hooyah me. DH couldn't see anything. I convinced myself that I could. Even I have to admit it's really not likely, and it's been a very emotional week I think my mind is playing tricks on me.

Doesn't help that I am feeling nauseous again this evening. And I can't sleep. Of course the not sleeping could be caused by crazy emotional week, which could be caused by hormones and the whole seeing my sister thing.

Picture Ain?

Lovely news about your sister Ain! And yes, picture!

Lil guess I need to get some sort of memory box thing.

Bloody hell honey you are cracking through them!! You'll be all caught up soon. Season 4 is an up/down ride for emotions and big events. Episode 8 is just crazily disturbing.

But yes it was the best moment ever.

Sorry for those of you feeling down today.

ain wow! what kind of person cuts people out of a young girls life like that! so happy for you all that its come good.
as for squinty lines, if you need to put your mind at rest do a frer. then you can relax knowing either way.

honey I got this one but needed something big enough for my diary.

That's lovely about your sister ain

I think we're going to rewatch GoT s4 this week before the new ones as well jelly

I need a slap viroids, I'm symptom spotting at 3dpo like a total arse.

Me too fallen, nightmare. Here is a slap and a hooya for you, feel free to reciprocate! We are away now for a few days so hopefully I will be very distracted and definitely won't be able to wee on any sticks in a ridiculous fashion!

bfn this morning. I'm sure something happened at 7dpo based on the symptoms so I'm thinking failed implantation.

Hooyah fallen! You can't drive yourself crazy at this early stage!!

I've kept the pissy sticks from my mc, they are in last year's memory box (I have one every year, though they are only an old shoe box....) I threw some of them away as I'd pissed on loads but I kept a few of them

Yeah ain if you see a hint of anything on ic then frer or superdrug will make it clearer for you. IC's are good at making your eyes go funny but I'd pissed on enough of them to know when it wasn't a definite negative

Oh lil at least you can take that to your next ivf appointment but I was really hoping you were going to have a magical wtf cycle. But then you aren't out yet! No witch for a couple of days yet!

I think they would just say I'm a crazy person if I tell them that :( and at this rate um never going to get a follow up appt. I am starting to worry I didn't get put on the appt list after the mc. staring at this bloody stick and keep thinking I can see a very very very light shadow where the line should be. haven't told dh I did one this morning.