We can't be upbeat all the time. It's human nature. Come and have a moan. No judgment guaranteed and no apologies needed.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

I'll go first.... I'm in my 2ww, but fed up getting let down. By the witch turning up, and you can only say to yourself so many times. I dont know what's round the corner next month but I do know what round the corner. I've been round it countless times. Been TTC for almost 2 years. I know I'm foolish but I'm too scared to go to the Doctor. Scared there's something wrong...
BFP announcements and pregnant bellies make me feel insanely jealous and inferior. I am starting to be amazed that there are 7 billion people in the world. FFS, how. Some women it seems only have to look at their partners and they're announcing. I'm pregnant...
I do know I am lucky though. I do have dd some people do not even get the gift of having one...
Feel free to moan and off load. It's allowed, isn't it.

I'm with you...I'm super-grumpy! Had a mmc in sept, not fallen pg again since and fed up if everyone else in the world being pregnant!
Really trying to stay upbeat, but appreciate the opportunity for a moan!x

Love to you, clueless, sorry about your mc. I lost my first baby to a mc back in 97. Still not over it,
You're right I does seem like the whole freeeekin world is Saying "I'm pregnant".

YES!

Currently in the middle of ivf. Ttc two years during which time my younger brother died, my dad died and I had an ectopic pregnancy.

I would like the world to cut me some god damn slack for once.

Is it really too much to ask of the universe that I get knocked up first go on the fertility treatment?

Isn't it time I had something lovely and nice and positive?

I'm happy, but also fed up and hurt by all the babies that are being born to my friends. My baby would have been two months old now, had he lived. I want to be pregnant again, but I have a feeling it hasn't happened this month. Just waiting for AF to start so I can get trying again. This is the first time I've ever willed a period on!!

Toots and Flam, Sorry to hear your heartbreaking stories. Love to you both.

Hi ladies

Also a little blue today. Really thought it might stick this cycle and got AF late last night. Woke up this morning to card from friend with baby pics of her newest baby inside. Ashamed to say some tears came to my eyes. :(

It feels like everyone I know got pregnant in their first month of trying...

A

I know what you mean. Amara, and I'm sure your friend meant no upset, but I bet it felt like she was rubbing salt in the wounds didn't it. I saw an old friend of mine the other week, pushing a pram. She said Hi Ghost all enthusiastic. I just coldly acknowledged her. Never even looked at the baby. Think she was a bit taken a back but at that time I didn't want other peoples baby's and the fact that she can pregnant at the drop of a hat rubbed in my face.
I

Finally plucked up the courage to write on this site and not just troll through the endless pages of others feeling as low as myself.

My biggest hurdle in this year of TTC SO FAR, although i'm sure they are on going, is that this last week I found out my sister is pregnant with her third. Her youngest was only 2 months when she got pregnant and sadly had a MC 12 weeks later due to an underdeveloped twin. She's since pregnant again, her youngest now 10 months. in the last year and a half shes been pregnant 3 times. 3!!!! i got the usual 'i have something to tell you dont be upset' phone call. of course that then meant I had to say noooo im not upset im over the moon for you. I mean I am, I cannot imagine what a MC is like. And I think this is her way of proving to herself she can still carry a child. But the worlds just not fair you know; I feel entitled, I think we all deserve to feel entitled.

Deep breaths. 5 days until AF due. Sister was due for a visit but going to have to cancel, not a good day to be staring at her in her gooey happy state. I never want to be bitter with family, not for introducing a new miracle into the family especially. So thanks for creating this thread and let me have a rant. That one sister is the only one who knows we are TTC, I guess I thought she would understand the most given she is only 2 years older than me. So it is difficult now, feeling like I cant talk to any one.

also ladies, i'm new to this, will I get a notification upon new messages or do I need to keep checking back? thanks

Hi scrub.

I think we are all new posters who normally read and don't comment! Just click the watch this thread box and you'll get a notification I think.

Ilive and scrub I think it's completely natural to feel like a bag of sh@te about all of this. Firstly I don't know one person in my acquaintance who has told me that it took them longer than a month, which makes me feel like an outsider. And then the way I find out if I'm unsuccessful this month is having a horrible period and all those hormonal blue feelings. Yuck!

Anyway to counteract all that I have had a nice bath, two chocolate chip cookies, downloaded a book on my kindle and bought an expensive pair of shoes online! If I do end up getting preggers soon the baby will have to sleep in a shoebox!

Onwards and upwards I think. Getting pregnant is not a zero sum game, in other words, other people's positives aren't taking ours. We'll get there!

Thank you so much Amara, hearing it from someone else totally helps!

We'll have our time, just hate that niggling feeling in the back of my mind saying it wont happen. If only there was a way of knowing for certain that...eventually... it will happen. Would minimise the stress element. Anyways onwards and upwards, just need to distract myself till after af. The day after that I seem to settle down again into robot mode of new month new start.

Good luck Amara, babydust to you and all the others out there longing for a positive!

I know scrub lis. I actually felt quite low this morn but this thread has cheered me up oddly! The first day of AF is always the worst really. Be good to yourselves ladies.
Ilive I had a friend who had the same experience. She fell pregnant with her first relatively easily but had secondary infertility. She had some investigations etc. (not 100% sure what these were) and once her problem was sorted she got pregnant again and has a new baby girl. Maybe go and see, it might be something relatively easy to fix?

Baby dust to all!

Thanks all for the solidarity - it's always nice to know that you're not the only one in this shitty boat!

Amara you're right, and I do think the same when I'm feeling logical - I.e. There's not a fixed number of healthy pregnancies, no one is taking my share! It's just difficult to be logical all the time!

A friend at work told me she's pregnant today ...I resorted to biscuits too!

Oh clueless logic goes out the window! You convince yourself a range of innocuous symptoms mean you're pregnant, then you convince yourself the first day of your period is implantation bleeding, then eventually you tell yourself "well of course I couldn't get pregnant this month because I ate a chunk of blue cheese" and then finally you reread your taking charge of your fertility book and convince yourself that the ewcm you saw was not so and perhaps you have your cycle arse about face. And then you come on mums net and read about temping, bodily fluid, ovulation sticks and think how the f@€k did anyone ever get pregnant before all this?!?!?

Then you take a deep breath, eat a bar of chocolate and think f&€k it, there are worse things than having lots of nookie with your yummy dp!

Fucking hell that body temp stuff is complicated. People have charts and everything! ... I'm just kind of aiming to keep the sperm count high.

It took us over a year to conceive our son, I'm hoping it doesn't take that long this time around.

There's just babies all over my Facebook feed, finding it extremely difficult. It's shit, everyone asks if you're ok but a lot of people aren't interested in the truth. That no, I'm not, I want a baby. Why does everyone else have them and I dont?!

Hi girls, I'm in the same boat AF arrived dead on time today, I saw early signs of it coming when I went to the loo before bed last night. It made me so upset I couldn't help but have a little cry... We've been trying for a year, I'll be 37 this year and my partner 43. I used to be on the busses but it just got a bit too much, I got way too obsessed...Everyone around me are having babies, at work two colleagues are pregnant. I've decided to see my doctor and ask for tests. I always assumed that having regular periods would equal ovulation but I've read that this is actually not the case (I never got on with the sticks). I don't know about you girls but I find myself putting things on hold because of this TTC malarkey like turning down nights away with my girlfriends if it falls during the DTD window etc. Amara you said it so well!!!
Has anyone had tests done? Good luck everyone

Finally!!! Somewhere I can have a moan!!
The witch just arrived again for me today.
I had a MC in December (happy Xmas me...not!) and it was so heartbreaking. Then 3 weeks after that happened our best friends announce they are expecting. Seeing the scan pics made me angry though. Why cant that be mine?! Constantly asking why me?! And now to top it all off, two more of our closest friends also announce they are expecting. So that's 3 couples AND they are all due in weeks of each other....FFS!!!!
I thought I was in for a BFP this cycle, had all the symptoms like I did when I got my first BFP. I even just bought some HPTs....then literally 2hrs after ordering them....WHAM! the bitch of a witch arrives to piss me off more.
Everytime I see or hear about babies or pregnancy it makes me angry, upset, confused.....oh I dunno.....I'm trying to keep hopeful for next cycle. Blahhhhhhh :(

So tonight a friend phoned to say she is pregnant. Apparently she had no idea it "would be so easy" and how it happened so straight away she and her boyfriend didn't know whether to be happy or not.

I've just cried my eyes out this evening, it's just poured out.

I must pull myself together!

Am thinking about some basic tests Sakura now.

And Tammi I know only two well the temptation to test, I now have a rule not to test until a day late cos a negative early test is so useless.

Need a bit of handholding dear ladies. ??

I am so glad I came across this thread. Reading some of your posts is like reading exactly what is going on in my head! AF started this morning, deep down I knew it was coming but it really doesn't get any easier. Approaching the 12 month point now and I really have no one to talk to about this, apart from DH who is amazing but I don't want to keep banging on about it to him all the time as he is disappointed too. Plus I think men just can't understand what it feels like - they don't understand how every little cramp, twinge etc sparks off a whole range of emotions and thoughts and trying to explain that is really hard.

I have wonderful friends but none have been through this. The only ones who have babies either got pregnant first time or didn't even try. My other friends haven't been through the ttc process and I think unless you have been through month after month of peeing on opk's and thinking 'this might be the month' only to find that its the same as every other month, you really can't understand what it feels like.

Sending you all lots of luck - it will happen for us, we just have to stay positive. My DH keeps telling me that it only hasnt happened yet because we are waiting for the right one, all the others just aren't meant to be. I hope he is right

Flipping hell Amara that must have been so difficult listening to your friend who I guess don't know that you are currently TTC? I'm mean if she does know then she's totally out of order and not much of a friend. I'm seeing my doctor on Monday morning so I need to figure out exactly what to say as I went in November but didn't see my usual Dr and the one I saw was so rude and dismissive of what I said that I burst into tears as soon as I left the surgery.heyarnold I like what your DH tells you, it's very positive and positive affirmations are so important on this journey! Good night ladies

Hi Sakura

She doesn't know we are trying and I am really happy for her. I suppose if you haven't been in our situation you wouldn't necessarily "get it" than randomly telling people that it is so easy might hurt someone's feelings accidentally.

Also I'm a doctor too so I really think you should go to the doctor that suits you best. I used to work with a GP who used to say finding the right GP for you was like dating and every patient has different preferences. I had patients who hated chit chats or any personal discussions (they ran away from me!) whereas I know I as a person want that from my GP. I always tell people to keep changing until they find someone who they can communicate with! And this is such an emotional time you don't need communication problems as well!

A x

Also this link has nice quick summaries of the guidance if you need to read something beforehand.

www.patient.co.uk/doctor/infertility-female

The "professional" articles are much more detailed.

Best of luck Sakura!

A

Sakura are you going to the Dr's alone or are you taking DH? I'm thinking of going if nothing happens this month but a bit clueless about what is expected! You'll have to let us know how you get on - good luck!

How long have you been TTC Amara?

Thanks Amara much appreciated I'll have a read. heyarnold I'm going on my own Monday morning and my partner and I have had a chat about the fact that he may need to be checked out as well. He's got a child who is 17, but I don't suppose that this guarantees that he's got good swimmers? Does anyone know??? I'll keep you all posted.

Need somewhere to moan! Been avoiding the conception board (in an attempt to not get too obsessed) but AF just started and I need to let some frustration out. TTC for only 4 months but had my heart set on 2015 baby and now just one more cycle left to achieve that. The age gap between dc1 and a possible dc2 is growing more and more past what I wanted it to be and I just feel crap. DTD every bloody day last cycle! And now to go through the whole process again. It gets tiring - and I know this isn't as long as some have been trying. I just thought it would be quick like last time. AND EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS PREGNANT!