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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

40+ and TTC? Join the club...

996 replies

cloudjumper · 24/09/2014 13:32

To continue the support for everyone 40 and over who is or wants ttc. Lots of hand-holding and understanding, we're all together in the uphill struggle.

OP posts:
jassS · 09/02/2015 15:25

I think I am ever so slightly brownishly spotting. Allmost sure where this is heading now, I guess, for this bfp.

SeeWotHappens · 09/02/2015 15:52

Jass I am so sorry to hear that. Look after yourself.

ShirleyBossey · 09/02/2015 18:00

Oh! I'm looking for advice re DHEA. I asked my GP this morning if he would prescribe it and he showed me the instruction on his computer that said it is not to be prescribed by doctors outside of the US. He has written to my consultant to see if he would be able and willing. I had taken with me a copy of a study conducted on women who were taking DHEA during IVF and the study concluded that the over-the-counter micronized version of the drug was 'ineffective' and that only the stuff on prescription showed evidence of improving the quality of oocytes and lowering miscarriage rates.

Could I have your thoughts on this, please? Where do you buy your DHEA from? I've looked on Amazon and it seems to be marketed towards body builders Confused

mustbemad71 · 09/02/2015 19:14

Oh jass so sorry to hear that Hmm

Paperblank · 09/02/2015 19:22

I'm sorry you've got this to worry about Jass Thanks

jassS · 09/02/2015 19:55

Spotting finished. It was really only visible to accomplished paper-watchers. Innocent pregnant woman would have never noticed. I will see what the pink line tomorrow says, still staying on meds....

joey38 · 09/02/2015 20:26

Gosh - lots to catch up on!

Cloud and Wilting - sorry about the afs, especially as cloud put so much into it this month. I always wonder why the stupid sperm can't find that damn egg - I mean how hard can it be when you point it in the right direction for several days??!!

Jass - I totally feel for you with the paper watching. I used to drive myself mad when I was pg with ds - is that a bit of pink? Did I really see something?? Even after he was born and we weren't ttc I still always checked the paper - i don't think it's a habit you ever break!!

Welcome to the newcomers - hope you all have some good news soon.

I have just started taking DHEA - first month this month so no real experience to share yet. I am having a perfect temp chart though. Very clear post ov jump and staying high. I think it has helped that ds has been sleeping much better the last couple of weeks, so I have been getting some good sleeps in!!

Am now 7dpo and have felt some sharp stabbing pains on my right side ovary area. I'm pretty sure I've had this before though so not getting any hopes up!!

Hope the lines are strong for you tomorrow Jass.

jassS · 09/02/2015 21:03

Just cracked and did another. Luckily I have hcg high enough to register on cheapest stick available here, sth which looks like ASda own brand according to pg test gallery on the countdown to pregnancy site. It is a truly lazy stick, I am getting good pink on it and the one in the evening was stronger than in the morning....But I have had this before, of course. A well-behaving line of tests even going until 20 DPO. Then it always crashes....

joey38 · 09/02/2015 21:14

How many days post ov are you now Jass?

reni1 · 09/02/2015 22:11

Slightly off topic (or maybe not), am I the only one gaining weight through ttc? Maybe it happens because I act pregnant, eat what I want and tell myself the little paunch is a bump. Then AF comes and goes, but the "bump" stays Hmm.

SeeWotHappens · 10/02/2015 09:30

Yes reni I have gained weight also. This isn't great as ideally I would like to be a couple of stone lighter before conceiving. I'm not extremely overweight but I'm 5f 6 and the last time I weighed myself last week was 11 stone 9. I feel at my best at around 10 stone. I have a feeling this is another factor getting in the way of conception therefore I've resolved to sort it out. The trouble is, same as alot of people. I really fancy carbs when I'm feeling down (which has been quite a bit since MC in November). I usually go on a health food drive in early january but thid year i just couldn't muster the enthusiasm. My addiction to sugar is also something I need to get under control. I'm fine in the day, I just crave chocolate at night. Hmm

jassS · 10/02/2015 10:24

I am 15-16 DPO, a line again a toad stronger than yesterday evening and def steonger than yesterday morning. Feeling the damned hope again.....

The ttc and weight gain - I think many of us react to stress by overeating. Am an experienced binge eater/ restricter myself, have been for years. I guess at the time of stress these trends get stronger, so does your need to eat healthy, be healthy, exercise - which of course results in the backlash of doing just the opposite. Maybe in the beginning of the journey there is the element of "soon I will pg and gain anyway" element, but for long term ttc I think it is more stress related if it happens.

I think you should never ever diet, restrict or have health binges in January - most overweight people have dieted themselves there. I gained throughout my thirties about 10 kg while always dieting, sending my BMI from lowish normal to highish normal, exercising a lot (I ran marathons, now only half ones) . Which means when the diet went, the binge behaviour set in and I regained - only to newly restrict. How to break this cycle - three meals a day, tery not to calorie count and remember that if you have three meals, maybe two snacks a day all the rest of the hunger is in brain. And that can be distracted. Of course the food you eat should ideally be good for you, but even that is less important than breaking the diet-fell of diet cycle.
I gave up on diets a few years ago, since then my dress size is always the same. Yes, it is 12 for dresses and 14 for trousers, not the ideal 10, but it is always the same. Even if I still struggle to eat three meals a day and not to binge or obsess. So girls, please do not diet, yoyo behaviours wrecks these hormones as well you want to have in balance fo ttc!

SeeWotHappens · 10/02/2015 11:02

Wise words Jass. I think you make very valid points. You're right, I'm sick of the binge/diet cycle, I just want to be healthy weight and generally make good choices when it comes to food.
It's very encouraging to hear your lines are getting darker. Keep us posted.
As for me, I think I'm out this month. I had a temp dip this morning and can feel those familiar cramps. AF due tomorrow Hmm.

jassS · 10/02/2015 13:09

Sorry to hear you are out, Seewot, but maybe you can then concentrate your efforts on beating the diet/binge cycle and healthy eating, so you get things which are useful for fertility? It works well for me as I want of course to. e fertile to make sure I have things which are good - fish, nuts, seeds, avocadoes, eggs i.e. good fats and the carbs which have good nutrients not only empty calories - like quinoa, rye and other darker stuff, veg soups and fruit in plenty? I find it easier to think in terms of what I must eat rather than in terms of what I must not eat. And having eaten all I must there is less time or room to prepare the unhealthier stuff. You prob do not fancy baking a pizza in addition to having made a vegetable soup? I do not at least....But. I have to be extremely careful not to mindlessly binge. I usually fail about once a week, but it does not matter. I am getting better at limiting the binge by not promising to restrict later on. And making myself to have breakfast after the previous night food binge. This way it does not end up anymore as a week long issue when I start every day with restricting and end it with stuffing:-)))

reni1 · 10/02/2015 13:34

I eat my own food then finish dds leftovers without needing or even really wanting them Sad. Doing more of that sort of silliness since ttc.

fromwesttoeast · 10/02/2015 13:50

If you anticipate leftovers from DD you can just cut back your own portion size to accommodate. This is what I have done.
I also suggest eating very light in the evening and making a habit of going to bed a bit hungry. This is my approach for maintaining a steady weight.

Inshock73 · 10/02/2015 14:20

Hello ladies - I just wanted to pop on and give you all some encouragement :) I used to be on the 40+ thread and the Old bird thread. After deciding to ttc two months before my 40th birthday, I feel pregnant and miscarried at 9 weeks in March 2013, we took a break for a few months before trying again and then deciding after exactly one year to give up.....only to discover I was pregnant! Baby is due in April :) I'm about to become a first time mum at the grand old age of 42 :)

Good luck everyone x

SeeWotHappens · 10/02/2015 15:39

Congratulations inshock, that is fantastic!! SmileSmile

fromwesttoeast · 10/02/2015 16:49

Great news, congratulations

reni1 · 10/02/2015 19:04

Congrats Inshock, always gives me hope to hear from other oldies who managed to get pg.

jassS · 10/02/2015 19:14

Congratulations, Inshock, on your healthy and happy pregnancy!

P.S. Reni I think 40 is not old. 42-43 year old people having babies has been quite common for centuries....The cliff of 35 is not really scientifically proven:-))))

Grizzer · 10/02/2015 20:21

Congratulations Inshock, that's lovely news. Please keep us updated on progress.
AF definitely arriving tomorrow as expected. Finish work for a week on Friday so I have time to relax & create the perfect egg for next month..... Grin
All this diet talk is interesting. I'm the biggest I've ever been (by which I mean I'd like to lose a stone - not crazy massive!) I definitely need to tone up a little too. We've just bought a nutri bullet which is apparently amazing (according to dh anyway!) to be honest, he doesn't eat fruit of any kind & very little veg so, although I know it is better to eat things as they are, mushing them to a pulp is better than nothing! It's meant to be good for sauces & soups too which is good for me because I confess to far too much reliance on tins & jars which I know contain huge amounts of sugar. Going to really get to grips with it over the holiday so our home will become a haven for amazingly healthy smoothies every day (I give it a week before the novelty wears off!!)
Goji berry anyone?? (On my shopping list - I don't even know what they look like!!)

reni1 · 10/02/2015 21:37

Thank you, Jass, in my saner moments I think 40 is not too old, but come AF a certain panic grips me every month... I had to google Nutribullet, Grizzer, have to give it a miss, I had an unfortunate incident with a juicer and no lid once. Has AF turned up, Seewot?

SeeWotHappens · 11/02/2015 07:41

Morning all!

Reni, no AF yet but due todayHmm. After the temp drop and cramps of yesterday I'd resigned myself to it but this morning I had a temp rise so I have foolishly let hope creep back in. I've got a really shitty day at work today ahead of me so i just couldn't face the depression of a BFN. I'm expecting her anytime today but still hanging on to my last shreds of hope!

Hope everyone's well, especially you, Jass.

reni1 · 11/02/2015 10:01

Morning all, month of temping going well, cd15. FF has detected ovulation on cd 12. I had no idea it would give me a score how well I did with timing dtd Smile. Love it, I was always a swot, I secretly miss being given grades for my efforts. ( Mind you, a "good" can be improved, must show dh, he will want an "excellent")